Why We’re Not Grateful

Description:
In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha dive into the complicated and often misunderstood topic of gratitude within the adoption experience. They discuss why the expectation of gratefulness placed upon adoptees is harmful and how it serves to silence their pain and experiences. The conversation explores the disconnect between the adoption community and the adoptee community, the harsh realities adoptees face, and why they refuse to conform to the narrative of being “grateful” for family separation.

In this episode, we cover:

• (01:06) The difference between the adoption community and the adoptee community.
• (04:26) Questioning the expectation of gratitude for being separated from family.
• (07:22) Challenging the societal narrative of adoptees needing to be grateful.
• (09:16) Leah’s powerful reflection on surviving abuse within her adoptive family.
• (10:42) The failure of social workers and the child welfare system to truly protect children.
• (14:30) The lifelong sentence of being an adoptee and its impact on identity.
• (15:00) The carceral nature of the child welfare system and how it fails families.
• (17:24) The dismissal of birthright and the hurtful expectation of adoptees to be grateful.
• (18:46) The inconsistency of adoption practices within families.
• (19:41) The absence of emotional support and how it impacts adoptee experiences.
• (27:49) Tasha’s observation on the narcissism and unpreparedness of adoptive parents.

Call To Action:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Resource:
Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here.

Work With Me:
Email: [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele:

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected].