Adoptees Crossing Lines

Send us a Text Message.

Send us a Text Message.

Send us a Text Message.

Fai Knudson

Fai Knudson grew up in a white, conservative town, always feeling different. As a biracial, transracial adoptee, Faye faced racism and isolation. 

Leaving their hometown ignited a journey of self-discovery, leading to advocacy and therapy focused on adoptee mental health. 

In this episode, Fai shares their powerful story, the challenges of being a transracial adoptee, and how they now help others navigate similar paths.

What we discussed 

(00:18) Who is Fai Knudson? 

(04:05) Feeling different

(05:32) Not allowed to read adoption paperwork 

(06:30) Coming out of the fog

(09:11) Studying adoption for master’s

(13:53) Adoptee therapists 

(21:32) Adoptee care is neglected 

(28:12) Story behind “Good Faith Therapy”

(33:20) Support for adoptees 

(35:01) Genetic graveyard 

(36:24) Finding an adoptee affirming therapist 

(39:34) Partial reunion

(47:54) Finding your authentic self 

Links

Connect with Fai Knudson: LinkedIn

Good Faith Therapy Website | Good Faith Therapy Instagram  

Peer Support Space 

Grow Beyond Words

Journey of The Adopted Self 

Psychology Today

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected] 

Send us a Text Message.

1 Year of No Contact

It's been 365 days since I cut ties with my adopters to protect myself. 

A year of healing, self-discovery, and finding my voice. 

In this episode, I share my no contact journey, the reasons behind my decision, the process of healing, and the freedom I’ve found. 

Hear my story of setting boundaries, seeking safety, and reclaiming my identity.

What we discussed 

(00:24) 1 year of no contact 

(01:50) “but they’re your parents” OR Expectation to be grateful 

(04:17) How I felt after no contact 

(06:21) Family policing gaslit me

(11:20) Forgiveness as a weapon

(14:36) Becoming free, finally

(18:01) Getting tattoos (& my favorite one) 

(20:26) Being able to grieve my mom

(30:56) Healing by finding biological family

(34:38) Stealing me from my mom  

(36:12) #1 reason for child removal 

(39:43) Why I do this work

Links

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected] 

Send us a Text Message.

Amanda Wallace 

Amanda Wallace helps families powerfully stop Child Protective Services from stealing their children. In this episode she talk about how you can do it too, how her organization reunited 20+ families, and why we should abolish the belief that the CPS system should even exist.

Listen and let’s stop CPS.

What we discussed 

(00:22) Who is Amanda Wallace?

(01:25) Why she wants to stop CPS - Child Protective Services

(05:16) Why are you in my house?!

(06:32) Repealing the Child Abuse Prevention & Treatment Act + Adoption & Safe Familis Act  

(08:12) How to respond to CPS 

(11:29) Reuniting 20 families 

(15:32) Reparations are not enough

(18:08) Black Mother’s March (Collective power)

(23:07) Drug testing a birth & Interrogating children 

(24:42) Creative collabs for collective action

(26:50) How can you stop CPS?

(33:07) Freedom can happen in our lifetime OR Freedom is not complicated

Links

Respond In Power Guide 

Black Mother’s March

Twisted Yogi

Connect with Amanda Wallace: Stop CPS Website | Instagram | Tiktok 

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected] 

Send us a Text Message.

Abolition is Not A Part Of God’s Plan

People who adopt say it’s God’s plan for them to adopt. But, they almost never say that God’s plan is for them NOT to have children. This is just one of the many ways people use religion to justify human trafficking. 

I found out, through an archived article, that I was trafckied into adoption by the Church through the One Church, One Child movement which operates in 32 states. This is an episode about them and the harm they’ve caused, in the name of God.

What we discussed 

(00:22) Is adoption God’s plan? 

(04:23) Forcing adoptees to go to church OR “Go to church or leave”

(11:53) Making adoptees mini versions of them  

(13:04) Telling my adoptive parents I’m stepping away from the church  

(14:51) One Church, One Child business 

(20:36) The church trafficked me

(28:39) Orphan sundays 

(30:07) Church preaches family separation (hypocritical?)

(34:24) Forced assimilation 

(36:13) Adoption is not God’s plan

Links

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected] 

Send us a Text Message.

Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community

The Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. To make them feel shame. To gaslight them. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has wounded her. 

Mila tells her story of how she was forcibly removed from her family in 1975 to the realization in 2009 that everything she thought she knew about adoption was a lie. She discusses how reuniting with her biological parents changed everything, how similar she realized she was hto her bio parents, grappling with her identity, the power of speaking up,  and the cultural resistance against accepting the truth about adoption. 

Mila is the host of the podcast called Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie.

“If you don't change the narrative, then you can't change the policies.”

What we discussed 

(00:22) Who is Mila Kanomos? 

(01:39) Being a (clueless) grateful adoptee 

(04:25) Realizing I’m actually wounded 

(06:00) “You had this information all of my life?!”

(08:24) The Last Unicorn 

(12:55) Terrified of opposing adoption publicly 

(15:50) The Church is complicit 

(18:23) Propaganda around adoption 

(19:38) Surviving reunion 

(22:04) How do I become Korean?

(25:39) Biological traits & connections

(30:55) Everything you know about adoption is a lie

(36:43) Church PAID to rebrand adoption 

(41:03) Centering adoptee narratives  

(44:47) Adoption IS oppression 

(49:03) What can you do about this?

(55:51) You already know who you are

Links

Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie Podcast

Child Catchers by Catherine Joyce 

Connect with Mila: Instagram | Podcast Instagram 

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected] 

Send us a Text Message.

My Journey To Abolition

Every adult in my childhood has failed me, none of them did what they’re supposed to. Every part of the system failed me…it did exactly what it’s supposed to. The system kills children and breaks families, it must be abolished. In this episode, I share how I gradually evolved towards this deep belief starting from a school trip to juvie when I was just 10. I talk about my encounters with the family policing system growing up and how it failed me. 

My story is not an is not an anomaly or an isolated incident. This is the experience of many children who are victims of the family policing system that they carry with them through adulthood. 

Abolition is a journey toward collective liberation, this is my journey so far… 

[CW: Sexual and Physical Abuse]

What we discussed 

(00:22) Taking a trip to juvie at 10 years old

(03:42) The system is NOT broken 

(04:42) [CW] Punished for speaking up about abuse   

(07:30) Losing faith in adoption, police, and the system OR My first encounter with family policing system

(10:32) Going to school with bruises on my arm OR “You had a really good school year because DCF did not show up at my door” OR DCF shows up, I’m a disappointment OR DCF gets me in trouble

(16:41) My adopters’ public facade OR Where my skepticism started OR Losing respect for authority

(19:10) Suffering through therapy 

(21:40) Who are they protecting? OR Abolition is the only option

(25:54) The system doesn’t care about children [CW: school shootings] OR They let alligators eat black babies (true story)

(31:45) My journey with queerness OR Queers in evangelical homes 

Links

Learn more about abolition: Alan Dettlaff Episode | Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts 

Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System By Alan Dettlaff

13th Documentary | The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander 

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected] 

Send us a Text Message.

Josh Lamers

Adoption is trauma. How do we help surviving children heal the wounds they’ve sustained from the child welfare system? Josh Lamers, a transracial adoptee, is public enemy #1 for child welfare agencies in Canada. He joins the show to discuss what adoption and child welfare are like in Canada; and how his organization, Collective of Child Welfare Survivors, advocates for child welfare survivors though addressing harm reduction, counseling, unpacking racial displacement, and community development…amongst many other things. 

“The child who's now back in your home is not the same child who was taken out of your home.” 

What we discussed 

(00:21) Who is Josh Lamers?

(01:57) His transracial adoption experience OR “My adoption was illegal”

(08:51) How child welfare works in Canada OR Adoption system in Canada 

(13:47) Insights from studying adoption OR What’s wrong with research about adoption

(23:51) Psychiatric system and adoption 

(26:26) Disability and adoption (and why Josh’s adoption was illegal)

(32:22) Myth of “unmanageable kids”

(34:05) How they advocate for child welfare survivors 

(45:50) How to support child advocacy work

Links

Outsiders Within 

Collective of Child Welfare Survivors: Donate 

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]

Send us a Text Message.

Adoptees & Community 

Before I found other adoptees online I was lost. I wanted to know where I came from, and I wanted to know others like me. Most adoption communities center adoptive parents and foster parents. We are left out of the picture. This doesn’t make sense. This episode is a collection of my thoughts on this matter. 

“One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance; places where we know we are not alone.” - Bell Hooks

What we discussed 

(00:23) Healing power of community 

(04:41) Feeling disillusioned by my adoption 

(05:59) My adopters in public vs. at home (what people don’t know about adoptive parents)

(07:55) Grassroots communities vs. government agencies 

(08:57) If only my mom had community support 

(11:39) Looking for spaces with adoptees OR I didn’t know other adoptees 

(15:06) Struggling with suicidal ideation 

(18:35) Belonging nowhere  

(20:38) What binds the adoptee community together 

Links

Race, Gender, and Cultural Politics by Bell Hooks 

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]