Adoptees Crossing Lines

Fancy Dance: When Family Preservation Becomes a Crime

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their Family Policing in the Media series with Fancy Dance. Unlike so many films about adoption and foster care, Fancy Dance centers the experiences of those directly impacted by family separation rather than the people or systems claiming to save them.

Through the story of Jax, an Indigenous woman searching for her missing sister while fighting to keep her niece Roky connected to her family and community, they examine how the family policing system criminalizes families while presenting removal as protection.

The conversation explores the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women crisis, the Indian Child Welfare Act, cultural erasure, poverty, and the ways Indigenous families continue to resist systems rooted in settler colonialism. Zaira also reflects on her own adoption records, discovering that an aunt wanted to raise her but was denied because of financial circumstances, and her mother's fight to reunite with her children.

In this episode, we cover:

(01:00) Rewatching Fancy Dance and what changes when impacted communities tell their own stories.

(08:13) The Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women crisis and the systemic failures that leave families searching for answers.

(16:21) Poverty, criminalization, and how the family policing system punishes families instead of supporting them.

(25:30) Cultural erasure, assimilation, and why maintaining connections to family and community matters.

(34:10) International adoption, citizenship, and the consequences of separating children from their identities.

(44:57) Settler colonialism, systemic violence, and the historical roots of family separation.

(55:09) Jax and Roky's journey, Indigenous resistance, and the importance of preserving family connections.

(1:06:51) Family reunification, children's autonomy, and what it means to fight for the people you love.

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

The Wild Robot: Rewriting Harm as Love

Episode Summary: 

The Wild Robot isn’t technically an adoption story, or at least it doesn’t look like one at first. But once you strip away the animation, sweeping music, and story about a robot learning to love, what’s left feels remarkably familiar.

Roz arrives in a community that isn’t hers, accidentally kills Brightbill’s entire family, raises him herself, withholds the truth about where he came from, and is ultimately celebrated for the care she provides afterward. In this episode, we look at the film from the other side of that story: Brightbill’s.

We talk about the parallels between Roz’s arrival and colonization, late-discovery adoptees and the right to know your own story, the longing to see yourself reflected in biological family, and the way adoption narratives can turn harm into love, loss into destiny, and abandonment into sacrifice. We also get into the “best interests of the child,” family policing, poverty and disability, reunion, adoptive-parent savior narratives, and what changes when we center the person who actually experienced the loss.

In this episode, we cover:

(02:30) Roz, colonization, and entering a community that never asked to be “saved”

(10:10) Disability, family separation, and what happens when families don’t have the resources they need

(16:37) Brightbill learning the truth: late-discovery adoptees, secrecy, and who gets to decide what a child should know

(27:00) Adoption, infertility, and why children cannot be the answer to someone else’s grief

(39:14) Biological family, reunion, identity, and the need to know where you come from

(57:03) The adoptive-parent savior narrative and who gets the benefit of the doubt

(01:08:05) Family belonging, adoptee disposability, and what “forever family” can obscure

(01:12:24) How the ending rewrites harm as love, loss as destiny, and abandonment as sacrifice

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Short Term 12: Who Gets Centered When We Tell Stories About Care?

Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their Family Policing in the Media series with Short Term 12. Once remembered as a rare film that centered young people in care, the rewatch lands differently. Together, they unpack how the film still centers caregivers, relies on familiar stereotypes about children in the system, and asks audiences to pity or fear young people without fully examining the structures shaping their lives.

The conversation moves from parentification and emotional caretaking to poverty, addiction, family separation, and why lived experience has to be more than background material for someone else’s story.

In this episode, we cover:

(01:00) Rewatching Short Term 12 and questioning whose stories the film actually centers

(08:25) Savior narratives, caregivers, and why being involved in the system doesn’t automatically make someone “good”

(15:12) Trauma, parentification, and the emotional burden placed on children

(22:28) Who gets to tell stories about the family policing system—and what gets lost without lived experience

(27:30) Poverty, addiction, and the structural realities behind family separation

(37:53) Why we need more stories made by and centered on people who have survived these systems

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Beyond the Happy Ending: Matilda and Child Autonomy

Episode Summary: 

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their Family Policing in the Media series with a childhood classic: Matilda. Rewatching the film as adults, they explore what its story says about child autonomy, neglect, survival, education, and the people who become safe places when home isn’t one. They also unpack Miss Honey’s own experience with kinship care, the role of imagination and escapism, and why listening to children matters far beyond the world of the film.

In this episode, we cover:

(01:34) Rewatching Matilda as adults and what stands out differently now.

(06:26) Neglect, libraries as refuge, and reading as a form of escape and survival.

(11:15) Physical punishment, “spare the rod,” and adults using power against children.

(13:06) Ghost kingdoms, imagined lives, and the ways adoptees use imagination to survive uncertainty.

(22:50) Miss Honey as a safe adult, and whether her relationship with Matilda falls into saviorism.

(29:02) Miss Honey’s kinship care story and how lived experience shapes her empathy for Matilda.

(35:30) Child autonomy, being allowed to speak for yourself, and the long-term impact of authoritarian parenting.

(43:00) Matilda choosing adoption for herself and what makes this ending different from the other films in the series.

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Joker: Systems, Class Warfare, and the Cost of Being Unseen

Episode summary:
In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and Jay continue their mini-series on family policing in the media with a discussion of the 2019 film Joker. They unpack the film as more than a villain origin story—examining how failed systems, class struggle, and abandonment by institutions shape Arthur Fleck’s descent. They also connect the film’s themes to adoption, identity, and what happens when society refuses to care for the people it creates.

Content note:
This episode includes discussion of mental health struggles, violence, child abuse, systemic neglect, and poverty.

What we cover in this episode:

• (00:27) Series context and why Joker fits into conversations about systems and neglect
• (00:56) “Hope my death makes more sense than my life”: class struggle and societal failure
• (03:14) Quick synopsis of Joker and Arthur Fleck’s life in Gotham
• (07:21) Organizing across classes and why solidarity matters
• (11:19) Being unseen and disbelieved: how constant dismissal worsens mental health
• (19:21) Identity, adoption, and the power to control truth
• (21:17) Becoming the Joker: finally being seen and embraced by the crowd
• (23:09) Systems create what they refuse to care for
• (24:54) Guaranteed income, free childcare, and policies that actually support families
• (26:22) Poverty, homelessness, and how the U.S. treats poor people
• (27:45) Military recruitment and poverty as a pipeline

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook
• Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way 
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

Episode summary:
Zaira and J continue the mini-series on family policing in the media with Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot. They break down how the film uses religion, marketing, and savior narratives to sell adoption as “justice,” while ignoring the root causes that push families into the system. They also connect the story to church state entanglement, coercion in congregations, and what real support could look like instead: resources that keep families together.

Content note:
This episode includes discussion of religion related trauma, child sexual abuse (CSA), adoption/foster care harm, and death by suicide.

What we cover :

• (00:39) Why Sound of Hope reads as propaganda (and why the marketing matters)
• (03:37) Faith, medical neglect, and children’s autonomy in health care decisions
• (08:29) PR machine + CBN coverage (“Small Town Big Heart”) and the film’s framing
• (11:18) Plot overview: the “calling,” the church push, and families adopting while struggling
• (16:01) Trauma care vs “laying hands”: what churches replace instead of providing real support
• (26:24) Coercion, tithing culture, and why many churches won’t meet basic needs
• (27:47) Zaira’s link: One Church, One Child (Florida) + church–state blending and harm
• (39:00) How the movie treats younger kids vs the older child (“Terry”), scapegoating, and stigma
• (45:42) Sexualizing minors, “modesty” culture, and the burden placed on children instead of adults
• (47:36) The alternative: mutual aid, material support, and keeping families together

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com

• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook
• Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way 
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

Losing Isaiah: When the System Steals, and Hollywood Sells It Back to You

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their mini-series on family policing in the media with a critical look at the 1995 film Losing Isaiah. They unpack the film’s portrayal of Black motherhood, addiction, transracial adoption, and white saviorism. From courtroom drama to deeply racist tropes, they examine how the movie pretends to be about the child, but instead reinforces dangerous myths about poverty, morality, and what makes someone a “fit” parent.

In this episode, we cover:

• (00:20) Initial reactions and why this movie still hits hard, especially for Black viewers.
• (06:55) The “crack baby” trope, media sensationalism, and the reality of poverty-based family separation.
• (17:00) Power dynamics and the red flags of a white hospital social worker adopting a Black child.
• (23:00) The courtroom as a stage for white fragility, and the Black attorney who wasn’t having it.
• (30:00) What the film gets wrong about addiction, morality, and who deserves to parent.
• (42:00) Why the film’s ending reinforces saviorism, and erases the systemic harm it claims to confront.

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook
• Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way 
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy
• Instant Family: Comedy, Consent, and Adoption Propaganda

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

Instant Family: Comedy, Consent, and Adoption Propaganda

Episode Summary:

What happens when a comedy about foster care hides a deeper agenda? In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way dig into the film Instant Family, its tone, tropes, and troubling narratives. They reflect on how comedy disarms audiences, how media normalizes adoption propaganda, and why who tells the story matters. From trauma, reunification, and religious narratives to Hollywood’s obsession with control, nothing is off limits.

Content Note:

This episode includes discussion of adoption, the foster care system, racism, abuse, sexual assault, and state violence. Please listen with care.

In this episode we cover:

(00:22) Introduction and content framing

(01:16) First impressions of Instant Family and the illusion of relatability

(05:30) What does it mean for a film to be disarming?

(08:16) Behind the scenes: The director’s role, Catholic influence, and who gets to tell the story

(13:30) Quick recap: The film's plot and its portrayal of the family policing system

(19:34) When adoptive parents fear reunification

(22:16) How poverty is framed as parental failure

(27:10) What kept people are taught to ignore

(33:30) The comedy-to-consent pipeline: Who owns a child’s story?

(47:12) Real life vs. “inspirational fiction” and the state’s role in violence

(52:56) The kids no one comes looking for: on isolation and invisibility

(55:42) What these films always leave out, and why it matters

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com

• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook
• Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way 
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected]

The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and co-host/editor J Way kick off a new film mini-series with one of the most infamous adoption movies of all time: The Blind Side. They revisit this Oscar winning film with fresh eyes, exposing its white savior narrative, racist tropes, and the insidious control adoption often masks as care. Together, they dissect the real life harm caused by this story, and why adoptees need to reclaim the mic.

In this episode, we cover:

(01:33) Why we had to start the series with The Blind Side
(03:26) Savior narratives, selective memory, and how adopters used this film as “family time”
(07:17) Hallmark vibes, propaganda beats, and the absurd plot construction
(10:08) IQ scores, protectiveness tests, and the racist assumptions they reinforce
(14:18) Control vs. care, and how Leigh Anne’s character weaponizes both
(20:20) Black bodies as tools: protector, athlete, project
(23:44) Christianity, purity culture, and domination masked as discipline
(30:51) Queer families, carceral systems, and why inclusion isn’t liberation
(36:24) “Do you have a mother?” and how the film dehumanizes Michael’s mom
(40:26) Ole Miss, Confederate nostalgia, and performative progress
(46:10) Final takeaways: who gets to tell the story—and why it matters

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way 
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].

Ashley Albert on Survival, Strategy, and Standing on Business

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by Ashley Albert—organizer, survivor, and founder of Stolen Children’s Month. Ashley shares her journey from foster care and incarceration to becoming the first parent in Washington state to legally enforce and modify an open adoption agreement. Together, they speak truth to power about the family policing system, the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA), and the necessity of abolition. This conversation is about legacy, resistance, and the spiritual practice of staying alive and dangerous in the face of erasure.

In this episode, we cover:

(00:22) Ashley’s story of survival and her legal breakthrough in Washington State.
(06:08) What it really takes to fight for your children—and what the system demands.
(09:50) Why Ashley created Stolen Children’s Month and what it means to bear witness.
(21:20) The truth about ASFA, adoption incentives, and systemic erasure.
(34:30) Spiritual resistance, healing justice, and caring for ourselves as abolitionists.
(45:17) Messages for survivors, caregivers, and anyone who's ever felt broken by the system.

Connect with Ashley Albert & Stolen Children’s Month:

• Instagram: @stolenchildrensmonth
• Website: stolenchildrensmonth.com

Listen to these episodes next:

• What We Carried from the Black Mothers March
• Mutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of Care

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email [email protected].