Adoptees Crossing Lines

Adoptees & Community 

Episode Summary:

Most adoption communities center adoptive parents and foster parents. We are left out of the picture. This doesn’t make sense. This episode is a collection of my thoughts on this matter. “One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance; places where we know we are not alone.” - Bell Hooks

In this episode, we cover:

(00:23) Healing power of community 

(04:41) Feeling disillusioned by my adoption 

(05:59) My adopters in public vs. at home (what people don’t know about adoptive parents)

(07:55) Grassroots communities vs. government agencies 

(08:57) If only my mom had community support 

(11:39) Looking for spaces with adoptees OR I didn’t know other adoptees 

(15:06) Struggling with suicidal ideation 

(18:35) Belonging nowhere  

(20:38) What binds the adoptee community together 

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Resources:

• Race, Gender, and Cultural Politics by Bell Hooks 

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System

Episode Summary:

It was when Alan arrived at a home with the cops to remove a child and heard his mother say “Charles, run, they're coming to take you and they're going to sell you to the white people” that he realized how the trauma of slavery cannot be disentangled from the trauma of family separation. It was in this moment that he realized the harm he’s done to many families and decided to take a different path. Today, Alan Dettlaff is an abolitionist and co-founder of the upEND Movement. In this episode we explore the racist legacy of the child welfare system through discussing Alan’s book Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for Abolition.

In this episode, we cover:

(00:23) Who is Alan Dettlaff? 

(01:35) Removing children from their families OR He was complicit

(04:16) Why reforms don’t work (and what does)

(08:32) Why the family policing system is racist

(14:31) What’s wrong with mandatory reporting laws?

(20:23) Trump’s Zero Tolerance Policy 

(23:58) People wanted to end family separations previously 

(25:25) Everyday acts of abolition (that you can do)

(31:55) Social workers and the abolitionist movement 

(35:06) “Run, they’re going to sell you to white people” OR Trauma of slavery vs. trauma of family separations  

(38:19) Learning more from Alan Dettlaff

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Resources: 

• Alan Dettlaff’s book: Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for Abolition
• Upend Movement: Donate | Podcast 
• Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts 
• Abolitionist Perspectives In Social Work 

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee Rights

Episode Summary:

Us adoptees have to pay thousands of dollars and jump through hoops to unseal our records. This robs us of autonomy, dignity, and equality.  Gregory D. Luce is an attorney who helps adoptees all across the US go through this hurdle. In this episode we discuss Greg’s personal adoption journey that made him so passionate about adoptee rights. We also discuss the important work that he does around adoptee records through his organizations the Adoptee Rights Law Center and Adoptees United. 

In this episode, we cover:

(00:22) Baby scoop era 

(03:07) Was never “in the fog”

(05:14) Divorce of his adoptive parents 

(06:17) Pay $500 to find no records?

(07:20) Finding his mom coincidentally 

(08:23) Establishing the Adoptee Rights Law Center 

(10:58) Inheriting his mom’s records and belongings 

(14:25) What restrictions are in YOUR state?

(16:54) Adoption records issue for non-US adoptions and illegal adoptions

(20:16) What are baby boxes?

(21:52) Adoption after abolition (what will it look like?) OR You can’t end adoption

(25:58) Why accessing adoption records matters

(27:36) What do Adoptees United do? 

(31:30) Adoptee causes need MONEY

(34:28) Future of adoptee rights 

(38:07) How to support Greg’s work 

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with Gregory D. Luce:

• Twitter

Resources: 

• Adoptee Rights Law Center 
• Adoptees United
• Donate to Adoptees United 
• Dorothy Roberts

Work With Me:

Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)
Special thanks to  Samuel Oyedele for editing this podcast. 

Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families--and How Abolition Can Build a Safer World

Episode Summary: 

More than anyone else, black women get their children kidnapped by the state, by the child “welfare system”. This episode is about the whys and hows of abolishing a system built to strip families away from their children. Through discussing Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy Roberts, we examine the history and laws that have led to the birth of armed and violent social workers. We also explore the many opportunities around how transformative justice can save lives. “Hope is a discipline” - Mariame Kaba

Listen to these episodes next:

(00:23) Black women’s childbearing is devalued 

(04:29) What’s family policing?

(07:21) Weaponizing child removal 

(14:25) Alternative to the child welfare system?

(19:03) A law that strips away Black mothers’ rights, FAST

(33:53) From adoption to murder-suicide

(35:45) Armed social workers? (tragic family policing stories)

(47:48) Is abolition helpful or harmful to children?

(56:33) How to reimagine the system

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with Dr. Dorothy Roberts:

• Twitter

Resources: 

• Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy Roberts
• Shattered Bonds 
• We were once a family by Roxanna Asgarian
• JMACforFamilies
• upEND Movement
• Movement for Family Power

Work With Me:

Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Embracing Identity: John's Journey of Self-Discovery

Episode Summary:

Reuniting with his birth family showed John McCormick, a transracial adoptee, a new world. He physically felt a relaxation he had never felt before, he connected with music and art like never before, and he started to own who he is - confidently - even when others denied his identity. This is the story of how John’s reunion with his bio family was a healing journey that led him to reclaim an identity he was stripped of. 

In this episode, we cover:

(00:26) Finding his family because of a coincidence OR Having his original birth certificate 

(06:08) I’m not Irish, I’m Colombian OR Loneliness of having a lost identity OR Who am I, even?

(10:05) Strange feelings after meeting his family OR Deciding to move to Colombia

(13:54) Reconnecting with music and art 

(19:06) Getting confident about his identity OR Confidently reclaiming his identity (despite the haters)

(24:48) Working with his therapist 

(28:48) How his adoptive family feels about him reconnecting with his bio family

(32:17) Preparing to meet your bio family 

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with John McCormick:

• Website 

Resources:

• Colombian Influence Podcast
• Wisdom and Nonsense Podcast
• Grow Heal Blossom 

Work With Me:
Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Emily's Journey: Identity, Language Learning, and Adoption Realities

Episode Summary: 

After 9 months of living with monks, Emily Harris was adopted from China. She was left behind by her bio family due to the One Child Policy. To process her loss of identity, she has started to learn Chinese with a community of adoptees.  In this episode, she talks about how language learning helps, why she wishes she was white, and the hardships of being a Chinese adoptee in the US.

In this episode, we cover:

(00:24) Getting adopted from China

(07:18) Pandemic racism 

(09:29) Processing identity loss through language learning

(11:24) Not wanting to share the language with non-adoptees

(15:10) Belonging nowhere 

(20:58) One child policy

(23:43) Distance created by religion 

(27:02) Reckoning with being chinese OR “I want to be white”

(31:40) The note her birth family left her

(35:22) For adoptees learning their bio language…

(38:23) Connect with Emily

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with Emily Harris:

• Instagram 
• Twitter

Resources:

• Language Travel Adoptee on YouTube
• Language Wellness and Identity Podcast

Work With Me:

Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Adoption Trauma, Mental Health, and Suicide Risk with Lina Vanegas

Episode Summary:

Though Lina Vanegas was born to a Colombian family, she was forced to assimilate as a white jewish person. 38 years later, she’s unable to fully connect with her bio family nor speak their language. Forced assimilation is trauma. Her mission is to educate people on adoption trauma. In the episode, she gives a crash course on why adoption is trauma, what to do if you want to adopt in a trauma-informed way, and how to go down the rabbit hole of being adoption-trauma informed. 

In this episode, we cover:

(00:32) Can you make up for 38 years of loss?

(05:08) Forced assimilation in childhood 

(07:11) Can’t speak my own language 

(09:14) Rescripting the narrative 

(10:31) If you’re thinking of adopting, do THIS.

(20:05) Why she’s educating the public 

(24:42) Adoption is preventable trauma OR Mental health and adoption

(28:07) Suicide among adoptees OR Why is adoption trauma? [EXPLAINED] 

(31:57) Intervention for adoptees 

(38:07) Finding an adoption-competent therapist [HOW-TO]

(42:00) Educate yourself

(43:50) Connect with Lina Vanegas

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with Lina Vanegas:

• Instagram
• Twitter 

Resources: 

• Rescripting The Narrative Podcast
• Adopted From Colombia Facebook Group
• Dorothy Roberts researcher
• The Child Catchers by Katherine Joyce

Work With Me:

Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (AV Editor)

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Send us a text

Navigating the Complex World of Adoption: Unveiling Azriel June's Journey

They were told they’re white. They aren’t. They were told they’re Jewish. They aren’t. They tried to erase her heritage over and over again. They couldn’t…so they “gave her back”. This is the story that explains how US adoptions human rights violations - they’re genocide. 

This is Azriel’s story - a transcultural adoptee from a loving first family who has been systemically preyed upon by the adoption industry. 

TW: Sexual Assault 

“The worst part about the secrecy was that I knew I was being lied to. And not by, you know, my friends or some girl in middle school or something, but by the people who were supposed to be my parents.”

What we discussed 

(00:40) Azriel, an adoption abolitionist 

(01:27) A whole family traumatized by adoptions OR Azriel’s adoption story 

(06:02) Erasing my heritage OR No idea who I am…

(08:32) Mindf*cked OR From someone’s garbage to someone’s blessing

(11:26) Illegal adoption OR Renting me for my “cute” years OR Getting illegally adopted 

(12:52) My mom and grandma’s traumas

(16:28) Is adoption generosity? OR Is adoption selfless? OR Is adoption a better life?

(21:37) Living a literal lie OR Why am I not good enough to know the truth?

(24:59) Why I think my adoption was illegal 

(27:52) What I wish they did instead OR 1 call would’ve changed my life

(29:46) Becoming an abolitionist 

(31:10) Family policing is genocide 

(34:51) Community is lifesaving OR “Twitter was as angry as me” OR Community saved my life

Links

Finding Cleo Podcast

This Land Podcast

The Girls Who Went Away

Connect with Azriel: Twitter

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected] 

Navigating No Contact: Adoptees' Journeys to Healing

Episode Summary:

Should you cut off your adoptive parents? Should you “go no contact” with your adoptive parents? “Oh hell no. Not this time. I’m done.” That’s what we felt before cutting off contact with your adoptive parents. Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do is to go no contact with our adoptive parents. Escaping abuse. Escaping racism. Escaping pain. In this episode we share what made us go no contact, discuss what it’s like, and share our personal advice to adoptees considering going no contact. 

In this episode, we cover:

(00:34) What is “going no contact”

(01:27) Dr. Noelle’s no contact story

(07:45) The first time I heard the N-word

(08:23) Lia’s no contact story 

(14:45) The “I’m DONE” moment

(17:27) Cost of going no contact

(20:55) The huge disconnect

(23:57) What does it take to go no contact? 

(25:58) Going no contact WHILE raising kids OR Greatest fear OR What to do if your children talk to you about your mistakes 

(34:01) On the fence about going no contact? OR Should you go no contact?

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Work With Me:

Email [email protected] for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor)

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or email him at [email protected] 

Send us a Text Message.

Reclaiming Identity: Dr. Amy Ritterbusch on International Adoption & Abolition

Dr. Amy Ritterbusch was stolen from Colombia as a child and forced to live in the United States with her adoptive family. Foreign land, foreign people, foreign language. 

But, her longing for where she came from and who she came from never died. She spent the rest of her life trying to find her way back home. 

In this episode, we discuss international adoption and less violent alternatives to it. We talk about the complicitness of the state in imposing this violence and how guilt is weaponized to catalyze international adoption. 

Dr. Amy Ritterbusch is an Assistant Professor of Social Welfare at UCLA Luskin School of Public Affairs

“So instead of criminalizing mothers in need, how do we create support systems so that decisions are not imposed? Rather folks can, can sort of make decisions in, in situations of care and not in situations of repression or violence.”

• Dr. Amy Ritterbusch

What I shared

(00:38) Stolen from Colombia as a child

(03:52) Healing through work

(06:25) Meeting her biological mom (under supervision of the state)

(13:34) State violence and adoption

(19:38) Always an outsider, belonging nowhere OR Forced presence 

(24:22) Building systems that repair harm 

(28:17) Alternatives to international adoption

(33:24) Finding and mourning where you came from 

(36:51) Connect with Dr. Amy 

Links

Connect with Dr. Amy: Amy Ritterbusch | Latino Policy & Politics Institute (ucla.edu)

Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok

Credits

Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at [email protected]