You ask them to put their shoes away. They ignore you. You ask again, more insistently, explaining that it’s their job, and you’re not going to do it for them. You know they heard you, but they’re not moving. You keep asking, reminding them that you’ve already asked multiple times. Your kid snarls that they will in a minute and maybe even throws in a “You’re always yelling at me!” accusation. You back off and check back in a few minutes. Your kid has left the room, and the shoes are still sitting there. And you’re feeling thoroughly aggravated and disrespected.

Our instinct, when we don’t feel heard is to keep asking (maybe at a higher volume!), but repeating yourself might actually be making your kid’s listening problem worse.

In this 1-minute Quick Q&A, I talk about why asking more than twice trains kids to tune you out, and what to do instead, including a simple technique that gets a response faster than you’d expect.

Warm wishes,
Dr. Eileen