S1 Episode 3: Why You Don’t Try to Fix a Broken Toy

Episode Summary

Too many of us are guilty of entering a relationship with the idea we can change the person.  This is a very bad idea and it never works.  If you view a potential mate as someone who needs changing, fixing or saving, then you should not enter into a romantic relationship with them. 

Often the person that you think needs to change in some fashion does not agree or have any desire to make those alterations to their personalities, behaviors or ambitions.  The truth is, if the person is not good enough the way you found them, leave them alone.  What you see as a flaw, they may see as desirable.

If you find yourself being attracted to a “project” then you need to do some self-reflection.  The real problem may be with you and not the other person. 

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss people that cannot be alone with their partners. 

Show Notes

You should never enter a relationship with the goal of fixing a person. If you do notice something that requires changing or fixing, first remember that this is your opinion and it may not be shared by the other person. Maybe this person doesn’t want to be fixed, so why should you be the one to make this decision? 

Generally, women tend to take this “fixing” approach more than men. However, that’s not to say men are off the hook. As a child, you may have come across a toy that was broken and tried to fix it, only to find that it never worked the same. Relationships are the same way. If a person is “broken”, acknowledge it and walk away. It’s not your place to try to fix them.

If a person isn’t good enough for you the way you found them, leave them alone—for your sake and theirs. It’s not your place to take this on. Making changes to personality, behavior or habits takes a lot of work, so they have to want to do it for themselves.

The person you are looking to fix may not even have the desire to change. Just because you see them as “broken” in particular ways doesn’t mean they feel the same way. Certain personality types—people who themselves feel broken—will often try to fix the other person in attempts to feel better about themselves.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people can’t be alone with their partner and always need a third wheel. This is a huge red flag and a sign of poor communication. It shows a lack of emotional connection to the partner and leaves little chance for the relationship to survive.

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