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Why You Keep Having The Same Fight (Attachment Styles)
Why do you keep having the same fight in your marriage? It might be your attachment style. And it’s quietly running your home.
In this episode of Our House with the Smylies, we sit down and talk through attachment theory, the four attachment styles, and how the way you were cared for as a kid is shaping the way you love your spouse and parent your kids today.
We get personal about the wounds we both walked into our marriage carrying, why anxious and avoidant partners are magnetized to each other, and how that magnet can quietly turn into a trap. We also talk about a fight we had recently and what it taught us about how stress pulls us right back into our oldest patterns.
If you’ve ever felt abandoned every time your husband shuts down, or suffocated every time your wife pushes for resolution, this one’s for you.
We close with what actually heals it. Earned secure attachment, the truth God speaks over our identity, and how understanding our own attachment styles changed the way we’re parenting our boys.
Timestamp:
00:00 Introduction to Our House
00:24 What is Attachment Theory?
02:46 The History: Bowlby and the Strange Situation
07:39 Secure Attachment: The Goal for Every Home
10:30 Understanding Anxious Attachment
14:32 Understanding Avoidant Attachment
20:10 What is Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant) Attachment?
26:22 Jason and Malia's Personal Stories
36:53 Can Your Style Change? (Earned Security)
41:52 How This Changes Your Parenting
45:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
👉 Take the How Broken Is Your Home assessment: ourhouse.faith/assessment
👉 Get the Faith-Filled Family Meeting Startup Guide: ourhouse.faith
If this episode hit you, send it to your spouse. Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming. And comment below: anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between?
WORK WITH US
DM us on Instagram @ourhouse.faith and tell us where
your family is at. We'd love to hear from you.
LISTEN ON THE GO
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, RedCircle.
Search: Our House with The Smylies.
Joshua 24:15. As for Our House, we will serve the Lord, and we pray you will too.
View all episodes
By Jason Smylie and Malia SmylieWhy do you keep having the same fight in your marriage? It might be your attachment style. And it’s quietly running your home.
In this episode of Our House with the Smylies, we sit down and talk through attachment theory, the four attachment styles, and how the way you were cared for as a kid is shaping the way you love your spouse and parent your kids today.
We get personal about the wounds we both walked into our marriage carrying, why anxious and avoidant partners are magnetized to each other, and how that magnet can quietly turn into a trap. We also talk about a fight we had recently and what it taught us about how stress pulls us right back into our oldest patterns.
If you’ve ever felt abandoned every time your husband shuts down, or suffocated every time your wife pushes for resolution, this one’s for you.
We close with what actually heals it. Earned secure attachment, the truth God speaks over our identity, and how understanding our own attachment styles changed the way we’re parenting our boys.
Timestamp:
00:00 Introduction to Our House
00:24 What is Attachment Theory?
02:46 The History: Bowlby and the Strange Situation
07:39 Secure Attachment: The Goal for Every Home
10:30 Understanding Anxious Attachment
14:32 Understanding Avoidant Attachment
20:10 What is Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant) Attachment?
26:22 Jason and Malia's Personal Stories
36:53 Can Your Style Change? (Earned Security)
41:52 How This Changes Your Parenting
45:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
👉 Take the How Broken Is Your Home assessment: ourhouse.faith/assessment
👉 Get the Faith-Filled Family Meeting Startup Guide: ourhouse.faith
If this episode hit you, send it to your spouse. Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming. And comment below: anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between?
WORK WITH US
DM us on Instagram @ourhouse.faith and tell us where
your family is at. We'd love to hear from you.
LISTEN ON THE GO
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, RedCircle.
Search: Our House with The Smylies.
Joshua 24:15. As for Our House, we will serve the Lord, and we pray you will too.