I finally saw it. The worst leadership habit I'd carried for 20 years—traced back to its root.

It started in a meeting. Someone disagreed with me. A normal thing. Healthy, even. But I completely overreacted. Shut them down. Got defensive. Made it clear the conversation was over.

Later that night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Why did I react that way?

So I started writing. The trigger. The reaction. And then the question that changed everything: When have I felt this before? Not in business. In life.

That defensive reaction traced back to my military training—and deeper, to insecurity about my worth that preceded the military entirely. I wasn't reacting to my team member. I was reacting to a wound that had nothing to do with them.

In this episode, I'm giving you The Trigger Map—the exact 4-column framework I use to trace reactions to their roots and choose a different response. This isn't about becoming someone who never gets triggered. That person doesn't exist. It's about becoming someone who knows their triggers, understands where they come from, and chooses how to respond anyway.

Download the worksheet and map at least one trigger this week. The goal isn't perfection—it's presence.

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