Episode 23. In this episode, we are talking ALL about accountability. When you read the title "You Need More Accountability," what did you think? Were you like, "heck yes, I know I do!" or did it make you cringe and sort of resent me? If the latter is true, nice work for hitting play on this episode anyways! That shows willingness to experience discomfort and not to avoid a feeling we don't like. Whether or not accountability sounds like something you can't wait to get more of or truly makes you angry, this episode is for you.

I cover:

Why the right kind of compassionate accountability is key to moving us towards any goalHow our ideas about rugged individualism harm our ability to make progressHow to increase accountability in an effective way, so you don't waste any more time or money on ineffective tools

Want to start from the beginning? Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and HealthEpisode 2: How Dieting Steals Our MotivationEpisode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

Meeting Our Big Important Goals

Think about the things you've accomplished in your life. Maybe it's your education or related to parenting. Maybe related to your career. What are some of the things that helped you excel and meet those goals?

Sometimes when I talk to people about developing intrinsic motivation, they get this idea that intrinsic motivation is ideal so they should always want to do the behavior and always feel great about it.

Like, if we work hard enough on your mindset, you will naturally wake up each day wanting to exercise, wanting to eat nourishing foods, and while we are at it, wanting to do all the other tasks you need to do in your day (work, caring for the kids, cleaning, laundry, dishes). You will do them all effortlessly, feel great, and hey, look! We have achieved the optimally motivated intrinsic motivation life.

Autonomous Motivation is More than Just Intrinsic

Autonomous motivation is the type associated with long-term change. Within autonomous motivation are technically three types: identified, integrated, and intrinsic. Identified and integrated are similar, and they are about doing the behavior because it's consistent with your identity and how you want to show up in the world. Intrinsic is the one where you get inherent satisfaction out of the behavior.

So I want you to think about the things in your life that you do that are hard and/or uncomfortable to do. That you maybe do not like or even hate doing. How do you get yourself to do it?

You may not be fully aware of this, but let's take the example of grocery shopping.

Anna is a mother of 3 young boys, and she also works full-time. She is separated from her husband and she has full-time custody. Her mother lives with her and helps out, but isn't very mobile, so Anna is responsible for all the grocery shopping for the family. Anna really hates grocery shopping. She is tired at the end of her workday, and shopping 1-2 times per week and cooking each night is frankly the last thing she wants to do.

But she does it on a regular basis. Whether she's aware of this or not, Anna's strong value is cooking at home for her family. This is how her mother raised her, and it's highly congruent with her identity to do so.

If We Were Truly Intrinsically Motivated for All Behaviors Consistent With Our Values, We Would Not Need Accountability

But the reality is, if you value growth and pursuing meaning in your life, you are not going to be intrinsically motivated to do everything you do on a daily basis. That just does not make sense.

If you buy into the BS messages we are fed by the media: "Just follow our plan and lose weight effortlessly! Never feel hungry again!