WifeSavers Podcast

WifeSavers Podcast

By Ramona ZabriskieSociety & CultureRelationships
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WifeSavers Podcast episodes

  • Ep 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What to Do When You Don’t
    Is there an issue in your family or marriage that the two of just can’t see to agree on? One that you both feel strongly about? How will you ever get on the same page?
    In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who would like to resolve a real concern with her husband but is reticent to bring it up because she knows he’ll disagree with her.
    Throw Me a WifeSaver: “What is the best way to have a conversation with my husband to try to work on and come to a compromise on a big issue on which we do not see eye to eye?”
    Listen and learn how the two of you can productively navigate your way through the difficult conversations that focus on red-button issues.
    Key Topics:
    - How the “big” issues differ from natural, everyday conflict
    - The specific approach proven by researchers to be the most effective
    - Your top three objectives during a critical conversation
- How to avoid taking responsibility for your partner’s emotion
    - Ways to down-regulate defensiveness
    - The 6 conversational stages that will guide you to a constructive conclusion
- A natural, simplified approach to accomplishing those stages
    - The hosts’ model of a conversation on a critical issue in their own marriage
    - The real purpose of the exercise or how to measure success
    57 min
  • Ep 15: The Mother-in-Law Relationship and How to Make It Better
    What kind of relationship do you have with your mother-in-law? Is she a source of support for you and your family? Or of aggravation? How do the two of you go from feeling polite, distant, or competitive to warmth and friendship?
    In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage mentor and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, tackle this uniquely sensitive relationship in answering a wife who is unsure how to approach her husband’s mother, a woman she has a hard time being around, let alone connecting with.
    Throw Me a WifeSaver! “The holidays are upon us and I would love to hear any wisdom you have with regard to dealing with mothers-in-law. We’ve been married for almost six years and this topic has come up many times in the past and has often created quite a big wedge between us in our marriage. I recognize that she doesn’t intend to hurt my feelings, but I need to develop some conflict strategies to learn how to deal with her. I’m more than open to any advice here.”
    Listen and learn how to create (or improve upon!) a pleasant, productive relationship with your mother-in-law.
    Key Topics:
    - Why this important relationship is worth the investment
    - The specific fear that interferes in this relationship between women
    - How the relationship may be impacted by stereotypes
    - Understanding better her probable intentions and real desires
    - Which of you bears the responsibility for improving things
    - The three stages mothers and daughters-in-law must progress through and how
    - Real examples of relationships that grew past misunderstanding and tension
    - The three mantras that can change everything
    1 hr
  • Ep 14: Dealing With Extended Family (especially through the holidays!)

    Do you ever struggle in your relationships with his family, or his with yours? Extended family dynamics can be tricky, especially during the intense togetherness and expectations that are often part of the holidays. 

    In this episode, multi award-winning author and global marriage mentor and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, speak from their 40+ years of experience in answering a wife who is worried about navigating upcoming decisions about, and encounters with, extended family. 

    This Week’s Question: “What if my husband and I have different ideas about what makes the perfect Christmas? My husband wants to stay home with just us and the children, and I want to be with all my extended family, and we go through this every year.” 

    Listen and learn how to plot a course and steer your husband and children through any extended family gathering so they feel content and secure throughout, and happy with the experience at the end. 

    Key Topics: 

    - Compromise vs. Accommodating any time of year 

    - 
Understanding his POV about your family and holiday wishes
 

    - What you should do first before discussing plans with your husband 


    - The three things to prioritize when spending time with extended family during the holidays 

    - 
Seven strategies for managing and making the best of time with extended family as a couple

    54 min
  • Ep 13: He Never Says Thank You: How to Get (and Give) More Appreciation
    Do you feel UN (or under!) appreciated? Does your husband seem impassive, unaware, or inconsistent in his notice of all you are and all you do?  Disappointment, disconnect, or disrespect is often the direct result of feeling taken for granted.
    In this episode, Ramona and Dale answer a wife who knows her relationship and her family could be improved by more frequent expressions of thankfulness, but who doesn’t know how to motivate or inspire her husband to comprehend the obvious: she and the family need and deserve his appreciation. Listen and learn how to create a culture of gratitude in your marriage.
    Today’s WifeSavers Question: “My husband and I are having difficult times because our relationship is missing this important phrase: thank you. How I can I help my husband practice this more? Thank you!”
    Key Topics:
    - Why hearing “thank you” is so important to a woman

    - The common ways spouses fail to appreciate one another 

    - How “appreciation” is different than saying “thank you”

    - Detecting his nonverbal demonstrations of appreciation

    - How to ask for more verbal expressions

    - The impact of her appreciation on him

    - He wants her appreciation for this one thing most of all

    - Creating a culture beyond “thank you” and “appreciation”
    59 min
  • Ep 12: His Criticism Hurts: What To Do When Your Husband is Unkind or Unfair
    Ever feel that your husband is too quick to express his disapproval, to point out your “mistakes”? Is his occasional or even chronic negativity towards you hurting the relationship?
    Ramona and Dale answer a wife who suffers from a sense of bewilderment and betrayal every time her husband focuses on (what he perceives to be) her shortcomings. Listen and learn how a woman can negate or arrest his negativity by effectively discerning between—and optimally responding to—different types of criticism.
    Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I often feel I am unappreciated and unfairly criticized by my spouse. When I have tried my best, and things are running smoothly in the household, I am still not measuring up in my husband's eyes. I know this because of what he says. Help.”
    Key Topics:
    - The three fears his criticism excites in her
    - How his criticism violates three of her most essential needs or desires
    - How to discern between the three types of criticism
    - Ways she can respond effectively to each type of criticism, including
    exact phrases
    - Understanding and managing toxic or chronic criticism
    - The six behaviors to avoid when addressing or responding to his
    criticism
    - Defining different forms of abuse
    - Ten WifeSavers principles to keep in mind as she speaks her mind
    1 hr 14 min
  • Ep 11: Turning Negative Communication With Your Husband to the Positive
    Discouraged and frustrated by communications with your husband that leave both of you feeling miserable? It may be that your what you are saying is being heard very differently than you intend. Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who doesn’t mean to come across as negative and unloving but is afraid that’s exactly how she’s being received. Listen and learn how with a few tweaks in approach and wording a wife can completely alter the outcome of almost any conversation with her husband to the positive.
    Today’s WifeSavers Question: “Sometimes when I respond negatively to things with my husband, I know right away that I've gone about it all wrong. I definitely don't want to handle things in an unloving way it just seems to come out in a burst of emotions sometimes before I even know how to package it in a more positive way. Any suggestions?”
    Key Topics:
    - Why his perceptions may be formed or based on the words and phrases you are using
    - Identifying seven characteristics of negative language that you may be unaware of
    - What actual messages you may be sending inadvertently
    - Mindset or paradigm shifts that will undergird permanent changes in your communication style
    - Three simple but powerful linguistic approaches that will lessen confusion and leave you both feeling better
    50 min
  • Ep 10: How Do I Find Balance? A Woman’s Greatest Challenge
    Do you feel like the hub of a wheel and all the spokes are squeaking? Everyone and everything seems to need you right now, which means someone or something is being neglected: YOU especially. What would it take to feel more "balanced"? Ramona and her husband Dale answer a wife who is wearing out; spread so thin between competing responsibilities and relationships, she's afraid no one is getting "enough".
    Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I find that often I just run out of time and energy to focus on anything. What can I do to help this problem lessen? How do I find balance?"
    Listen and learn why a woman gets so easily "out of balance" and how she can realign herself and her relationships so that everyone feels more steady and satisfied.
    Key Topics:
    - The inherent gifts of womanhood that make her susceptible to overdoing

    - False perceptions or definitions of "balance" that fuel frustration

    - The exhausting struggle between a woman's two great needs or desires

    - How an inner "hierarchy" can guide her choices 

    - What "responding" and "romancing" have to do with restoring balance

    - Why a husband is uniquely positioned to help her balance
    55 min
  • Ep 9: How to Help Your Man When He's Unsatisfied at Work
    Has your man felt stalemated, unmotivated, or rudderless in his career? Have you seen him act depressed or anxious about his current job? Ramona and Dale, who have been there, answer a wife who is very worried for her husband because he’s so unhappy at work and because the strain is affecting their marriage.
    Today’s WifeSavers Question: “My husband has been at a point for a while where he is unsatisfied with his job, but he doesn't have any clue what to do. Lately, it seems like he's become another person. He goes to work, comes home, and his time is mostly spent on his computer or his phone. I’m drowning in worry, fears, and insecurities. I feel like he's slipping further and further away. I’m afraid I'm not doing good enough as his wife and it's hard for me to keep control of my emotions. Help!”
    Listen and learn what’s really going on inside for both of them and what a wife can do to help her husband out of the doldrums and moving towards his dreams again.
    Key Topics:
    - Where his anxiety and depression may be coming from
    - Why he is withdrawing from her
    - How the male brain deals with stress and emotion
    - Why his behavior triggers worry and fear in her
    - The potential impact of her understanding and involvement
    - Four ways to get him energized and moving towards his dreams
    51 min
  • Ep 8: Do You Believe in Him? How to Show Him and Why You Want To
    Is your husband depressed, distant, aggravated, demoralized? It may be that he’s unsure you really trust or have faith in him. Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who has just discovered her husband has silently felt unsupported for years, and she’s eager to repair the damage. Listen and learn how a wife can restore her faith in her man and rekindle his love for her.  
    Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I discovered during a conference that my husband and I are attending, the thing my husband resents about me more than anything else...His notes read: "I forgive her for not believing in me." I need to understand how better to show that I believe in him. Where to start?”
    Key Topics:
    - What she may  be doing inadvertently, that says to him that she doesn’t believe
    - The six questions she has to answer to restore her faith in him
    - What attitude will restore his trust in her
    - The actions that will best demonstrate her belief in him
    - The promising prognosis for their marriage
    46 min
  • Ep 7: Feeling Burnt Out After Too Much Stress
    Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who in the aftermath of excessive and prolonged stress, is feeling used up and burnt out. Listen and learn how a woman can bring healthy energy back into her life without costly vacations, elaborate strategies, or wearing out loved ones in the process.
    Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I feel like the aloe plant that's been forgotten on the porch...Sometimes I wonder if all the care & attention in the world will be enough to resurrect that poor aloe/me!”
    Key Topics:
    • Why the search for happiness may be the wrong approach
    • Easy adaptions to bring joy into her life
    • The consequences of a women’s non-stop thinking and activity
    • Why we need regular doses of time alone and time with other women
    • What a husband can do to help, and the advantages to him
    • Approaches to self-education to restore worth and mental health
    • Approaches to finding new perspective through “inspiration”
    • The Key to avoiding depletion
    53 min

About WifeSavers Podcast

From the publisher's feed

Ramona Zabriskie, multi-award-winning author, celebrated marriage mentor and global educator, founder of Wife for Life University and the WifeSavers Education Membership, answers real-wife questions…