Wilhelm & the MacGuffin

This week we’re looking at movies centered around a “perfect” crime that isn’t Strangers on a Train (1955). We start with French crime à trois Les Diaboliques (1955) by Henri-Georges Clouzot. Next up is difficult to sympathise with Gwyneth Paltrow, married to Michael Douglas with a side helping of Viggo Mortensen in Andrew Davis’ A Perfect Murder (1998). We finish with Olivia Cooke explaining “the technique” to Anya-Taylor Joy in Cory Finley’s Thoroughbreds (2017), thick with horsey metaphor.

Also: French 50’s Chad. The 2CV. Diabolique (1996). Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap. Bound (1996). Dial M for Murder (1954). Aragorn has no dump stat. Nefarious or Douchebag? Basic Instinct (1992) minus the sex. Yorgos Lanthimos and The Favourite (2018). Chekov’s meat thermometer. Anton Yelchin’s swansong. Heavenly Creatures (1994). Emma. (2020). The New Mutants (2020). Me, Myself & Irene (2000). We play a game of “You Son of a Bitch, I’m In!”

Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)

This week we’re looking at second attempts at what Disney is now calling the “Marvel Legacy” universe. We start with James Mangold’s bloodier edit of The Wolverine (2013). Next up is The Rogue Cut of X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) which restores an entire subplot involving Anna Paquin’s character, Rogue. We finish with the PG-13 edit of Deadpool 2 (2018) - Once Upon a Deadpool - with Fred Savage standing in for us as a captive audience.

Also: The Snyder Cut (2021). Simon Bisley. Yeeting Stormtroopers. Altered Carbon (2018). Olivia Munn, Attack of the Show! Comic superfan vs. cartoon casual. Conservation of Ninjutsu. Evil Sexy Disco Catsuit. Legion (2017). Anna Paquin made bank. Wanted (2008). Poochie. Lobo. John Ottman. The New Mutants (2020). Bill Sienkiewicz. The Techno-organic virus. Mr. Sinister. We play a game of “With Great Power, Comes No Backstory”

Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)

This week we’re looking at big angry houses with guns. We start with the star-studded World War II caper Kelly’s Heroes (1970), behind enemy lines, chasing $16m in gold. Next up is a stranded Russian T-55 crew isolated on the hostile terrain of Afghanistan and learning about the Pashtunwali honor code in The Beast (1988). We finish with a day in the life of Percy Jackson as he joins the grizzled veterans of Brad Pitt’s Sherman crew in Fury (2014), killing Tigers and SS troopers.

Also: White Tiger (2012). Come and See (1985) and The Painted Bird (2019). Where Eagles Dare (1968). Joe does Lalo Schifrin. The Italian Job (1969) and Edge of Darkness (1985). Waterworld (1995). Charlie Wilson’s War (2007). Erick Avari. The Best Baldwin. Dale Dye. What shot JFK? End of Watch (2012). Jon Bernthal - intense sadboy. La cimetière américain de Colleville-sur-Mer. Greyhound (2020). 86ed. We play a game of “For You Tommy, Ze Var is Over”

Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)

This week we’re joined once again by Carlos Boellinger of Tin Cowboys Productions on the eve of the cinematic release of Clay’s Redemption (2020), a future noir fantasy film shot guerrilla style on the streets of London; so we’re discussing future noir films. We start with James Cameron’s The Terminator (1984). Next up is Paul Verhoeven’s RoboCop (1987). We finish with Steven Spielberg’s Minority Report (2002). The future looked pretty dark 30 years ago.

Also: Total Recall the autobiography. Alex Cox. Harlan Ellison. The Terminator comics. Skynet needs a better calendar. Starship Troopers (1997). Dredd (2012). Broken glass budgets. Soldier of Orange (1977). Showgirls (1995). Minority Report (2015). Spoilers for Brazil (1985), Total Recall (1990) and Repo Men (2010). Ubik. I, Robot (2004). Dinner for Schmucks (2010). Paycheck (2003). Streets of Fire (1984).

Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)

This week we’re looking at America’s favorite pastime: baseball. We start with John Badham’s The Bingo Long Travelling All-Stars & Motor Kings (1976) featuring Billy Dee Williams and James Earl Jones reclaiming the means of production. Next up is Barry Levinson’s The Natural (1984) with Robert Redford and Glenn Close in an American fairytale. We finish with Bennett Miller’s Moneyball (2011) with Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill proving that instincts can’t beat statistics.

Also: Sneakers (1992). Satchel Paige. Lovecraft Country (2020). Margaret Bourke-White. Jackie Robinson. 42 (2013). Silver Streak (1976). Fanfare for the Common Man. Eddie Waitkus. Joe Don Baker. Homer at the Bat. Fever Pitch (2005). Billy Beane. David Justice. Michael Lewis. SABR. Perry Mason (2020). Wes? Anderson? Fire in Babylon (2010). We play a game of “Let’s play, Sportsball!”

Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)

This week we’re looking at several animé movies that involve civil unrest. We start with Katsuhiro Ôtomo’s masterpiece Akira (1988), the pinnacle of animated city destruction porn. Next up is Hiroyuki Okiura’s alternate reality underground political thriller, Jin-Rô: The Wolf Brigade (1999), from a script by Mamoru Oshii. We finish with Rintaro’s movie adaptation of Osamu Tezuka’s 1949 manga of the same name, Metropolis (2001), where characters do not mesh well with architecture.

Also: Alejandro Jodorowsky is the origin of everything. Zot! Manga Entertainment. The Akira Bike Slide. Love, Death & Robots (2019). Ghost in the Shell (1995). Nani/nandate vs. Baka/bakana. Kerberos Saga. Le Petit Chaperon Rouge. Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018). Sous les pavés. Anthropoid (2016). Killzone. Land of the Dead (2005). The Animatrix (2003). Fuckable robots. Alita: Battle Angel (2019). Steamboy (2004). Shikata ga nai. We play a game of “It’s a riot!”

Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)

This week we’re looking at films directed by stuntmen. We start with the grand-daddy of the stunt caper; Hal Needham, who doubled for Burt Reynolds before directing him in Hooper (1978), their second of six collaborations. Next up is Chad Stahelski who doubled for Brandon Lee in The Crow (1994) and Keanu Reeves in The Matrix (1999), leading to John Wick (2014). We finish with Stahelski’s uncredited co-director on Wick; David Leitch, who doubled for Brad Pitt and Matt Damon during his career and made his debut directing Atomic Blonde (2017).

Also: Peter Bogdanovich. Jock Mahoney. Jan-Michael Vincent’s chin. Damnation Alley (1977). Joe’s experience with stunt performers. Lexi Alexander. Keanu Reeves’ 3-gun drill. Up (2009). Mark Millar. Flipping the hero/villain dynamic. Shit sandwiches. Baba Yaga. Punching up Die Hard 4.0. Big Wick Energy. The Coldest City. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011). Filth (2013). No Way Out (1987). Haywire (2011). The Fun Police. Split (2016). Scott Adkins. We discuss some “Cunning Stunts”

This week we’re looking at superhero movies that were spun off from major franchises. We start with Jeannot Szwarc’s Supergirl (1984), where Helen Slater plays a very well-informed cousin to Superman. Next up is Tim Miller’s Deadpool (2016), with Ryan Reynolds breaking fourth walls like a meta wrecking ball. Last up is Cathy Yan’s Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (2020), which got a raw deal on release because of COVID lockdown and deserves to be seen.

Also: Our hottest episode ever. The Bottle City of Kandor. Fly by wire. Die Hard Himbo! 80’s swamps. Kevin Conroy. Tom Petty reference. Green Lantern (2011). Deathstroke. Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) title sequence. Leaked test footage. Haywire (2011). Exoskeleton by Shane Stadler. Suicide Squad (2016)’s trailer. Entitled douchebro. Rosie Perez. X-Men sucks. Tim Booth from James. We play a game of “You Spin Me Right Off”

This week we look at the future of incarceration. We start with John Carpenter’s nihilistic antihero Snake Plissken attempting to Escape From New York (1981). Next up is Stuart Gordon’s blue goo and Explodium-filled coed panopticon; Fortress (1992). We finish with Martin Campbell’s privately-run, cannibal island prison Absolom in No Escape (1994) which begs the question, how is this supposed to be profitable? SPOILERS: we spoil the end of Fortress discussing the alternate ending.

Also: Cribbing for GoldenEye (1995). Solid Snake. The Corman School. Frank Doubleday or Salacious B. Crumb? The Hunted (2003). Gerald Ford pratfall. Sepulveda Dam. Clifton Collins Jr., we owe you an apology. Panopticon. AAA C-movies. Prison Break (2005). Fear City: New York vs the Mafia (2020). AAA B-list casts. Speak & Spell. Joan Allen, we owe you an apology. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991). Kevin J. O’Connor. We play a game of “In the future…”

This week we cover four actors who died before the age of 30. We start with James Dean in George Stevens’ Texas oil epic Giant (1956), next up is River Phoenix in Gus Van Sant’s soporific retelling of Henry IV My Own Private Idaho (1991), then Brandon Lee in Dwight H. Little’s early American Hong Kong action attempt Rapid Fire (1992), and we finish with Anton Yelchin in Stephen Sommers’ supernatural detective film Odd Thomas (2013)

Also: Adam Driver. Dallas (1978). A24 and Blumhouse. Drunk actor secrets. Dennis Hopper. Kalifornia (1993). Stand By Me (1984). Sneakers (1992). Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Zen Neo. Sex tableaux. Last Days of American Crime (2020). Al Leong. Dustin Nguyen. Ong Bak (2003). Guns, lots of guns. Dean Koontz. Caper energy. The Sexy Lamp Test. The burden of heroics. We play a game of “The Many Onscreen Deaths of Al Leong”.