Order our new book, The Score That Matters https://amzn.to/48ePbAa Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com William Ury is the co-author of Getting to Yes, the world’s all-time bestselling book on negotiation with more than 15 million copies sold, and co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation. Bill has devoted his life to helping people, organizations, and nations transform conflicts around the world, having served as a negotiator in many of the toughest disputes of our times, taught negotiation to tens of thousands, and consulted for dozens of Fortune 500 companies, the White House, the State Department, and the Pentagon. Based in the mountains of Colorado where he loves to hike, Bill is an internationally sought-after speaker and has two popular TEDx talks with millions of viewers. Notes:  Your life’s work: “If you had to boil your life’s work down to just one sentence you could leave behind, what would it say?” This is a great question for us to ask ourselves to gain clarity on our purpose and what we were put here to do. What is your life’s work?  On one of Bill's hikes with Jim Collins in Boulder, Colorado, he asked, “When did you first discover your interest in and instinct for what became your life’s work?”   Be trustworthy AND trust willing. Become known as a person who trusts others first without making people earn it. Yes, you’ll get burned every once in a while, but I’ve found it’s worth it. Leading with trust seems to attract the type of people you want to be around. On a freezing night in January 1977, the phone rang at 10:00 pm. Bill was living in a little rented room in the attic of an old wooden house in Cambridge, Massachusetts. He was 23, writing term papers, and studying hard for graduate school exams in social anthropology. Bill picked up the phone… “I was particularly struck by Bill’s rare ability to bring calm and optimism to seemingly intractable conflicts and by his blend of intellectual clarity and practical wisdom.” - Jim Collins Go to hardest places: Instead of sharpening his intellect and insights by doing research sitting in a plush faculty office at some Ivy League institute, Bill decided to “go to the hardest places first,” throwing himself into political negotiations in the Middle East. “

567: William Ury - Negotiating The World's Toughest Disputes, Getting To Yes, Hiking Mountains With Jim Collins, And Thriving In An Age of Conflict

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Read our new book, The Score That Matters https://amzn.to/3VFVYAm Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk Episode #579: David Perell - Setting The Standard, Cultivating Your Taste, Pursuing Excellence, Becoming a Sloganeer, Always Working/Never Working, & Lessons From a Mysterious Billionaire Notes:  Set the standard – “It’s your job to have the highest quality standards of anybody you work with. Every day, you’ll face pressure to lower them. Don’t do it. If you can set a high standard and simply maintain it, you’ll do very well for yourself.” Have a high-quality bar. Do three things:  Define it: Clearly state the standards. (read The 11 Laws of Showrunning) Maintain it: This is hard to do. Raise it: Keep pushing.   You need to define what quality looks like. Set the true north. David worked with a coach to establish his core values. And he was going to narrow it down to five and the coach said, “Nope, it’s just one. It’s the one that everything in your life orbits around... It’s The Pursuit of Excellence. The biggest piece of low-hanging fruit for leaders is getting funnier:  Nobody trains themselves to get funnier though. It’s strangely taboo. That’s why it’s such an opportunity. "Laughter is the sound of comprehension." Say something memorable. Humor is memorable.   A good way to think... Deconstruct something funny. David spends a lot of time understanding why Theo Von is so funny. The key to excellent storytelling: a moment of change. Conflict and suspense carry stories. Robert Caro writing the LBJ books... "What would I see if I was there." He moved to where LBJ lived to see what it was like to be there. How to cultivate taste:  Make a list of things you love/hate. Look for things you love (but aren't supposed to), and things you hate (but are supposed to love). Make things. Don't be a passive consumer. Be a connoisseur. Be discerning about what you consume. Amor Tolles - History is bad for knowing what's good now.  Consume old things.   Museums - Pay attention to what elicits a reaction. Why is it a 10? Why is it a 1? What do you love? What do you hate? Why?   Archegos is David's favorite Greek word, and it gets to the heart of good leadership.  Four meanings: Author, founder, pioneer, leader America’s founding fathers are the canonical example   Lessons from a mysterious billionaire mentor:  David asks very specific questions, listens, and takes lots of notes. When meeting with a mentor, show up with energy and specific questions. They are tired of hearing the boring generic questions. Be specific. The mentor talks 98% of the time and David just types what he says. He now has 18,000 words worth of notes. Some lessons:  CEOs are Sloganeers: CEOs shouldn’t write strategy memos. They should drive slogans.   Three lines. Three words each. (Bezos: Focus on the Customer)   CEOs should tell the same stories over and over again, refining their pitch like a comedian.  Gauging reactions Asking questions Listening to push-back Seeing what makes people’s eyes light up  Your message is only landing once people start making fun of you.         Good goal in life: Always working, never working  Story from Patrick O'Shaughnessy. He was asked how much time he spent preparing. Initially, he said, "not much." Then he thought for a while, and said, "I'm preparing all the time. My whole life is preparing to ask these questions."   

579: David Perell - Setting The Standard, Cultivating Your Taste, Pursuing Excellence, Becoming a Sloganeer, Always Working/Never Working, & Lessons From a Mysterious Billionaire

Order our book, The Score That Matters https://amzn.to/3xbhAdD Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk  Create surplus value - What can we do to give more than we take? "The key is to figure out what you can do that others can’t or are unwilling to do. Hard work is a talent. Curiosity is a talent. Patience and empathy are talents."  "Helping others makes me feel strong."   Scott's recent experience with Ketamine Therapy - "It clarified my thinking. It's helped me stop keeping score. It also made me grateful for my wife. Did you ever get a gift when you were a kid that you weren’t expecting and you couldn’t afford it? Something you never imagined having.” I got a $45 Banh skateboard from my mom’s boyfriend Terry. It was a moment of sheer surprise and joy. My wife kept popping in my head and I kept thinking, god I get to hang out with this person, get to have kids with them, get to build a life with her. It was this overwhelming feeling of wonderful joy and surprise. It was very clarifying and rewarding for me.” "You Gotta Ask" - Scott met his wife at the Raleigh Hotel pool in Miami. He saw her from a distance and promised himself that he wouldn't leave the pool without introducing himself to her first.  In order to do anything of significance in your life, you must take an uncomfortable risk." Scott is married to Beata Galloway, a real estate developer born in Germany. Together, they have two sons. One of them has the middle name, Raleigh. Why Crying is Important - "It informs what's important to you." Why Scott uses crude humor - It's used to connect with people. And people are either afraid or not able to do it. When Scott was 13… One of his mom’s boyfriends handed him two crisp 100-dollar bills after he asked him about stocks. Terry (his mom's boyfriend) told him “Go buy some stock at one of those fancy brokers in the village." Once there, Scott met a mentor named Cy Gordner who helped him learn about the markets. Show up when it matters — Michael Bloomberg’s policy. "If a friend gets a promotion, there is no need to call. You’ll get dinner with them at some point. But if a friend gets fired, I have dinner with them that night in a public place where everybody can see me. Because I remember when I got fired from Solomon Brothers — I can tell you every person that called me. That meant something. When I was made partner? I have no recollection of that whatsoever." Last year Scott had 340 inbound speaking requests. He accepted 30 of them. His average rate is $112,000 per speech. “The stimulus that attracted my attention with the most urgency was money, not as a means of establishing economic security, but to feed my addiction: affirmation from others.” The role of Luck - Being born in America in the 1960s and two (most importantly) Scott's mom. Though she was raised in a household with little affection, she couldn’t control herself with her son. “For me, affection was the difference between hoping someone thought I was wonderful or worthy and knowing it.” (Emotional) Scott is a dynamic communicator: A turn of phrase is a way of expressing something, in writing or speech, that stands out in some particular way. One of the key indicators of long-term success is the “willingness to endure rejection.” Whether this is walking up to a stranger at the Raleigh hotel, a cold-calling sales job, or asking people to be on your podcast. How to build wealth? Focus (mastery, find your talent), Stoicism (this is about saving more than you spend), Time ( 21 years with your money in low-cost index funds, you will earn 8 times your money), Diversification (Your kevlar). Once you earn some money, assume you are not Steve Ballmer or Mark Zuckerberg. Use a variety of investment vehicles. Going all on one company or asset class is not the optimal choice for most of us. 

578: Scott Galloway - Adding Surplus Value, Asking For What You Want, Ketamine Therapy, Crude Humor, Being Moved To Tears, & The Algebra of Wealth

Our book, The Score That Matters, is now available! https://amzn.to/3ToYckL Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk  The ASK approach - Choose curiosity, make it a safe space to tell the truth, pose quality questions (that’s a question that helps you learn something), LISTEN (check if you heard them right, rephrase), then reflect and connect - FOLLOW UP. Make sure the other person feels that you’ve listened to and heard them.  1) Choose Curiosity to awaken your interest in new discoveries.  What can I learn from this person?   2) Make it Safe for people to tell you hard things  Find the right context. Be vulnerable. Radiate Resilience.   3) Pose Quality Questions so you can uncover what’s most important  Questions that help you learn something. What do you really think?   4) Listen to Learn, to hear what someone is really trying to tell you.  Request reactions... What holes are in my perspective?   5) Reflect and Reconnect, so you take the right action based on what you’ve heard.  Update my thinking. Sifting through what we heard. What can I take away of value?     What are the best questions to ask in an interview for a job:  As the interviewee, ask them what concerns they have about you? They’re going to talk about these when you’re not in the room. You might as well talk about them together when you’re in there… As the interviewer: Fast forward 1 year. There are two scenarios. 1, you crushed it. 2, You didn’t. Tell the story of what happened in each of those scenarios…   What did Jeff learn from his work as a magician?  Magic trains you to hold your cards close to your chest, that’s what makes the illusion work…He dreamed (still does) of someone asking him, so what do you think Jeff? He’s held back so much because he wanted people to ask him what he thought… It's like he needed permission.   When pollsters asked Americans, “If you could have any superpower you wanted, what would you pick?” Two answers tied for the number 1 spot. Reading other people’s minds and time travel.  Asking helps you read people's minds.   Key learning from Chris Argyris:  How smart people fail to learn... They don't ask.   A child asks 25-50 questions per hour. An adult. A tiny fraction of that. Curiosity goes away as we age if we're not intentional about it. "We're all stuck inside our own certainty loops." Leadership hiring must-haves...  Alignment with the mission Core values Track record A learner   Learning design – How to make your next leadership retreat as impactful as possible? ASK the participants to help you co-create the event. We often miss out on goals, opportunities, and relationships because we don’t know how to ask the right question, in the right way. Yet this critical strength can be learned, and transform your career, organization, and relationships. Career and Life advice: You don't have to have it all figured out. WHO matters more than WHAT. 

577: Jeff Wetzler - Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life (ASK)

Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Buy our new book, The Score That Matters https://amzn.to/3ToYckL My guest: Scott Belsky co-founded Behance in 2006 and served as its CEO for six years. Behance was acquired by Adobe in 2012. Since then he has had a variety of roles with the company and is currently Adobe’s Chief Strategy Officer, and EVP of Design & Emerging Products. He’s also the author of two best-selling books, The Messy Middle and Making Ideas Happen. Scott holds a bachelor’s degree from Cornell University and an MBA from Harvard Business School.  Hiking > Beach - You're only able to recollect experiences with enough friction to add texture to time as it passes. time spent doing the unexpected and/or being challenged is time with texture. Ultimately, in our dying breath, the more experiences in our lives with texture, the more of our lives we will actually remember and the longer we will feel we have lived.  What adds texture to time? A challenge.   Feeling unrushed - Feeling unrushed (so simple, yet so hard) is indeed such a luxury; one I still fail to achieve. Persona-Led Growth - People are more likely to share what people say than what companies say. Modern “PR strategy” should amplify the voice of actual builders, embrace personality rather than dull it out, and aspire for more real-time updates vs. major moments. How to raise kids to become great adults?  "model hard work" Say, "This is the hard work." Manufacture hardship. Regulate emotions. Big feelings, little bodies.   Why Scott enjoys working at Adobe... He's a mission-driven entrepreneur. Progress begets progress. Prototype = Show, not tell.  A prototype is worth a hundred meetings, and almost all meetings that aren’t grounded with a prototype are a waste of time (or worse). A prototype immediately surfaces gaps in logic or business concerns. It is the fastest way to drive alignment. "A prototype prompts decisiveness" "It's a hot knife through the butter of bureaucracy."   Why Scott writes a Substack newsletter:  "I want to be part of the creator platform." Writing clarifies thinking It's important to stay close to the action. Writing works as a forcing function to do that.   Scott has benefited greatly from running every day. It's important to push yourself mentally and physically. "There's no option to stop." What's the most important element of leadership? "Empathy. It's a shortcut for overcoming challenges." “You’re either part of the living or part of the dying.”  Scott's aunt Arlis Aron. Fought stage 4 cancer for 15 years. She always focused on living, her garden, breakfast, and traveling. “Decide if you want to live less or live more.”  "Every day is a standalone canvas."   

576: Scott Belsky - Adding Texture to Time, Feeling Unrushed, Pushing Yourself Physically, Narrating the Journey, Becoming an Excellent Writer, and Why You Should Never Outsource Your Story

Our new book, The Score That Matters, is out TODAY (March 26, 2024). Here's the link: https://amzn.to/4citmTL Thank you for your support! Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk Ryan Hawk is the creator and host of The Learning Leader Show, a top-rated business podcast that focuses on learning from the most effective leaders in the world. He speaks regularly to Fortune 500 companies; works with teams and players in the NFL, NBA, MLB, and NCAA; and facilitates Leadership Circles to offer structured guidance and collaborative feedback to new and experienced leaders. Ryan has also built an online leadership school called The Learning Leader Academy. He is the author of Welcome to Management and The Pursuit of Excellence, lauded by Forbes magazine as “the best leadership book of 2020” and “the most dynamic leadership book of 2022,” respectively. Brook Cupps has been a high school basketball coach for more than 20 years, earning several Coach of the Year awards. His teams have won numerous conference, district, and regional championships, as well as Centerville High School’s first-ever basketball state championship in 2021. In addition, he has spent the last eight years coaching grassroots basketball on the AAU circuits and helped guide the North Coast (Ohio) Blue Chips to national championships in 2014 and 2019. He publishes weekly essays on leadership and coaching on his site, Blue Collar Grit, and is the author of Surrender the Outcome.  People love to keep score. Managers keep score of a range of business metrics: market share, revenue, profit margin, and growth rate. In our personal lives, social media has us keeping score by likes and followers. These external scores are outcome-driven and serve as proof of our success—money, fame, material possessions, wins—but this constant chase for more validation often leaves us feeling exhausted and empty. Offering both descriptive and prescriptive advice and anecdotes, The Score That Matters will help you unlock true fulfillment and happiness by discovering your purpose, identifying your values, creating critical behaviors, and living them faithfully every day in all aspects of your life.  Warren Buffett once said, “The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an Inner Scorecard or an Outer Scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an Inner Scorecard.”  And that’s what The Score That Matters Is All About… The inner scoreboard is about eliminating comparison with others and living in alignment with what’s most important to you: your values and the behaviors to match those values.  If you want to stop comparing yourself to others, establish YOUR core values, and live in alignment with them (and I believe you should), then I think our book, The Score That Matters, will be useful for you. In addition to that, our book, The Score That Matters, will help you   Build trust with the important people in your lives (your family and the team you’re leading at work)   It will help you focus on your eulogy virtues instead of your resume virtues   And we write about how you can build transformational relationships that will ultimately change your life for the better.   When I interviewed economics professor and best-selling author Tyler Cowen, I asked him why he chose to write his most recent book with someone else (after he previously had written his books by himself). He said, “If you have an opportunity to work with someone who is awesome and brilliant and who will cooperate with you, you should always do that. Drop everything and do that.” Before this, I never thought I would write with someone else. It’s too personal. However, I took Tyler Cowen’s advice and I am so glad I did. Working on a book with one of your mentors is the ultimate tool for learning. I got to have long-form conversations (both in writing and in person) from someone who has figured out some of life’s most challenging issues. When you meet Brook Cupps, you’ll notice that he’s incredibly comfortable in his own skin. He has ZERO need to get approval from anyone outside of his closest friends. He has his values, lives his values, and that’s it. I think we would all be better off if we did that. In this book, you’ll get the unique perspective of a teacher and a student. Brook plays the role of the teacher, and me the student. We wrote almost all of the book together and mixed in some parts labeled BC and RH when it was from each of our unique perspectives. After a lifetime of figuring these things out and 3 years working together to get the ideas out of our heads onto the page, our book, The Score That Matters is now available for you to read. If you’ve gotten any value from The Learning Leader Show over the past 9 years, I hope you decide to buy this book. I think it could change your life. Go to Amazon now and buy it. If you’ve already bought yourself a copy, go back to Amazon and buy another one or two for the people in your life you care about most. Start a book club, tell your friends, read this with your colleagues at work. Not only do I think it could change your life, but all of your friends too. Thank you for your support!  

567: William Ury - Negotiating The World's Toughest Disputes, Getting To Yes, Hiking Mountains With Jim Collins, And Thriving In An Age of Conflict

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