By Win On Purpose
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Are you tired of doing what you can do, and want to do what you love to do? Do you feel that you have so much to offer the world, but you can't figure out h
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Motivational author Louise Hay was quoted as saying, “You are not a helpless victim of your own thoughts, but rather a master of your mind.” We have power and control over our thoughts. One of the biggest mistake that we can make is to let our thoughts run without being checked. An exercise that I have found helpful is — when a random, out of the blue thought runs across my mind I ask myself if this is what I am truly feeling? And I try to figure out where that particular thought came from.
As a person that comes from black heritage it scares me every time I hear or see something like what we have been seeing lately. I always think about my dad, my brother, my husband, son and all of my family members. To be honest, I get really scared because I don’t want that to happen to them. I think about that, I ponder what I should tell my son. But realistically, the only thing I can do is do the absolute best that I can do. I can’t worry myself to death about it. I have to take control of the thoughts that are running through my mind. I have to be the master of my mind. I have to find away to counter those negative thoughts when they come. I cant allow myself to become a prisoner of negative thoughts. So, an exercise that I do is as I said earlier, when its a thought that isn’t positive I try to trace it back to something. I try to figure out what made me think about this particular thing and once I identify I know that I need to maybe minimize the attention I am giving to that thing. I also have to say something, whether out loud or to myself to counter the negative thinking. What I refuse to do is allow bad thoughts to setup shop and invite its friends to the party. “You are not a helpless victim of your own thoughts, but rather a master of your mind.”
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As the world grapples with this pandemic, COVID-19, we have to decide if we are going to take advantage of the moment or if we will sit back and complain about what's happening. No one saw this coming and our world has literally been halted. But even in the midst of uncertainty we have to make very important decisions. In this podcast we take a moment to examine where we are and also think about what we should be doing during this time.
I have enlisted the help of my family to provide motivation, encouragement, and inspiration in this dire time. Listen to hear their advice on how we can best manage during this time of uncertainty.
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Music by: @ikson
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Today podcast title is, “Perspective is Everything.” Now let’s promptly break down what the word perspective means. The Merriam-Webster dictionary traditionally defines perspective as a mental view or prospect (to anticipate). It also defines it as the capacity to view things in their true relation or relative importance.
Concerning this podcast, I will focus on the first definition which defines perspective as a mental view or prospect. Perspective is unique to each individual. It is our individual mental view or mindset. Therefore, how we see the world is based on our thoughts and what we expect. We see the world as good or bad based on what we anticipate happening. If you perceive the world as a place where you can possess what you desire, and your dreams can come true, then that will happen for you. But if you're a negative person and believe things will never happen for you, then that is how your life will be. You will constantly have problems and issues. Author and Motivational speaker, Wayne W. Dyer was quoted as saying, “Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”Have you ever been around a negative person? I mean, an annoyingly negative person that will sit and complain all day if you let them. No one wants to be around them because of their toxic vibe. When you invite them to your favorite restaurant, they expose problems with the food they ordered, the decor, the smell, everything. If you are smiling, they ask why you are happy. Once more, Dyer said, "Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world."Let me add to that; negative people live in a negative world. Pessimistic people live in a hopeless world. But the truth that can not be denied is we all live in the same world.
Our thoughts shape our perspective. That is why we have to inventory our thoughts and pay attention to messages running through our minds. We, undoubtedly, have to make sure our thoughts line up with what we desire. Our thoughts determine our mood, actions, and life perspective. Many people live fake lives -- they portray false perceptions of their reality. Unfortunately, they have convinced themselves that their fake social media life is better than their actual lives. People are going into massive debt taking trips, and buying things they cannot afford to give the impression that they are doing better than they really are. People are competing with other people that are not watching. In today’s society, everyone wants to be famous. People measure their worth based on how many followers, views, and likes that they get. But truthfully, if you are not content where you are there is nothing you can post, share, or buy that will change that. Even if a million followers come - you will still find a reason not to be happy.
We must learn to be happy with our lives as it is today. That doesn’t mean we don’t aim for more or don’t try to be better. It means we have to learn to be grateful and thankful for the good things that are happening for us today. We can’t get so caught up in thinking other people's lives are better than our life. We should not put unwarranted stress on ourselves while attempting to compete with other people. If I am going to put in all that work to compete with someone I want to get paid for it. We start thinking of things we can post that will get people’s attention. I sound like I know about this, right? I know I do because I have been there! I admit I have to examine myself routinely and remind myself of what I use social media for. My goal is to encourage and inspire people to aim for their goals. I am also there to keep in contact with my friends and family and have fun. Scientist and Philanthropist, Sir John Lubbock said, “What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
Our perspective means everything, it is everything. We have to affirm beneficial things to ourselves and drown out negative thoughts. That’s why I enjoy affirmations. Affirmations assist with keeping our perspectives in line with what we want to happen. When we focus our minds and attention on the things that we want — we will recognize opportunities during times when others see opposition. I am appreciative of Lewis Howard Latimer. You might be thinking, who on earth is that? Of course, I am going to apprise you. Latimer was an African American inventor that contributed to the invention of the light bulb and the telephone. His invention is the reason light bulbs can last for as long as they do. He perceived a problem and instead of allowing the problem to control his actions -- he saw an opportunity to make the world better. I’m certain everyone has at least one light bulb in their house and we have Lewis Howard Latimer to thank for that. The next time you look for the perfect light to take your selfie on your cellphone give a quick shoutout to Latimer. When we declare affirmations regularly, we remind ourselves and also reaffirm to the universe the things that we desire. Every living thing has to be feed. We have to nourish our bodies, our minds, even nature needs food. The same is goes for our dreams. We have to feed our dreams daily. Affirmations are an exemplary way to do that.
If you are experiencing a down moment and not feeling inspired. Take a moment to reflect on what you have been thinking about... allow me to say that again... when you are having a hard time or you are feeling depressed and down take a moment to think about what you are thinking about. Author, Dan Brown says, “Sometimes a change of perspective is all it takes to see the light.” I find myself doing that a lot now. It aids me when I start feeling anxious or start entertaining negative thoughts. My therapist introduced this method to me. She had me put a rubber band around my wrist and I was not supposed to take it off. Anytime anxious or negative thought came to mind I had to snap the rubber band. I must be straightforward, that first day I was snapping that rubber band constantly. I slept in it, showered in it until it broke. That experiment revealed just how horrible my thoughts were. I had to come to grips with the fact that I had some work to do and that work started with which thoughts I wanted to feed and nurture. That exercise revealed that for me to become a better person, for me and the people that I love, I need to change my perspective. The only way I can achieve that is to first change the way I was thinking. I had to remind myself of my goals and dreams. My challenge to you is to examine your thoughts. Make sure they line up with what you want. Make sure we are not giving more power to our past and negativity.
The only thing negative thinking does for us is present us with a negative perspective on life. When we think that way we miss precious opportunities because we are not looking for them. We run away good people because we think everybody is trying to take advantage of us or trying to take something from us. We walk around with this rainy cloud over our heads 24/7 because we allow negative thoughts to dominate our lives. The only one that can control that is you! We're the only ones that can control our thoughts. The only people responsible for our thoughts is us. Period! Poet and Playwriter Oscar Wilde was quoted as saying, “The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.”Let me be clear, this is not a one time process. Directing our thoughts remains an ongoing process. It’s something we must do every day of our lives. Even when you are on vacation. Even when it's your birthday. We must, at all times, keep our thoughts in check.
We have to treat our thoughts, perspectives, and especially our time like we would a million dollars. You wouldn’t give your money to just anyone. Or at least I hope you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t give that money to someone that would squander it. So why would you give your mental capital to people that don’t appreciate it and waste it? I have this love/hate relationship with social media. It can be immensely worthwhile and informative if you are following the proper people. But if you are following the wrong people it can be an enormous waste of time and life. I couldn’t find the originator of this quote but it says, “Don’t waste your words on people that deserve your silence.”
We must keep our thoughts and perspective in check. Furthermore, we have to make sure we aren’t rushing ourselves. Slow down. Enjoy the journey. Don’t carry out things that are outside of what you are absolutely contented doing to get where you want to be. Don’t step on and exploit people. Because trust me, you may get to where you are going, but you won’t be there for long. You may even find yourself where you want to be, but you will be all by yourself. Comedian, Steven Wright says, “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”As I said in the last podcast, “Why Discover Why” we can’t worry about how much time we have left on earth. We can’t limit ourselves using outdated science. We can not limit ourselves to antiquated ideas that say, women can’t have kids after 40. Or these ideas that by 25 everyone should know what they want to do in life. We can't be in a rush to live. We have to utilize the time that we possess on this earth to enjoy every minute.
But what we don’t have time for is negativity.
Competing with people.
We don’t have time for comparisons.
We don’t have time for doubt and self-hate.
We don’t have time to loathe in failure and disappointment.
When we take time away from the negative things, we will find that we have more time to give towards our aspirations and dreams. Once more, let's inventory our thoughts because that is the sole way we can maintain an optimistic mental view or perspective. If you are thinking, “how can she say that after what happened to Kobe Bryant he died way too soon? He was only 41.” — I hear you! But, I want you to look at everything he accomplished in those 41 years of life. Do you think he would have been capable of achieving all that he did that if he allowed himself to stay stuck in a rut? — He talked about how he handled hard times. He relied on his faith and purpose. Kobe was cited as saying, "I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure... We all have self-doubt. You don't deny it, but you also don't capitulate (surrender) to it. You embrace it. "No one is exempt from having doubts, fears, and insecurities." But the difference between those and win and those that don’t are the winners choose not to give in to the negativity. We have to accept that those thoughts are there and deal with them each and every time they come. We can not give in to them.
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Today podcast topic is, ”Why Discover Why?” I’ve learned that there are times when asking the question “Why” Can be more harmful than helpful because it's too big of a question to ask. There are some questions that we want answers to that we will never figure out in this lifetime. Attempting to find the answer to “Why” can sometimes hinder our progress more than it helps. We can get stuck in the “Why” zone and find ourselves in a stale and stagnant place. But there are times when answering that question is pertinent for our lives, destiny, and for moving forward. If there is something that keeps nagging at you or you have a dream that won’t die the key to getting started is figuring out “Why” you want to get started in the first place. Again, “Why Discover Why”. To be honest, I would love to tell each individual listening today why you should pursue your dreams and aim for your goals. I wish I could tell you what the first step or the second step should be to make your dreams come true. But, unfortunately, I can’t. But what I can do is advise each of you to spend time thinking about why you have the desires you have. Spend time figuring out the true “Why” behind your dreams. This is an important question because as you start on your journey and in all stages of your journey you will run into obstacles. You will face distractions from people and life in general. But the biggest obstacle you will face will be you. Yes, you heard right, our greatest challenges do not come from the outside, they come from the inside. Author and Preacher Joyce Meyers said, “All of our problems start in our minds.” But, when we make our “Why” greater and louder than our negative thoughts, fears, and anxiety we will soon see the things that we have been believing for come true for us. Because our “Why” will drown out the negativity.
I understand that our doubts can be loud and very persistent, especially the negative ones. But if we want to reach our goals and not just always be goal setters, and if we want to catch our dreams and not always be dream chasers and if we want to live big and be examples and lifestyles giants we have to make our “Why” louder than anything else we are thinking and saying to ourselves. Its a must. I can tell you that you shouldn’t let your age, upbringing and whatever else that has been stopping you for so long continue to keep you from your destiny. Author and Motivational speaker Simon Sinek says, “Finding WHY is a process of discovery, not invention.” What that means is when we are trying to figure out why we feel strongly about something or want to do something; what we are really doing is bringing to the surface the desires that already exist inside of us. We don’t have to invent or create the why. Its a process of discovery. Discovery is recognizing something that already exists for the first time, we may be seeing it for the first time, however, its something that has always been there. An invention is creating something totally new and its something that wasn’t previously there.
For years people have allowed things such as their age to stop them from pursuing their dreams. But what we don’t realize is we can live longer now because of modern medicine and technology. We can do so much more with a lot less because of social media. We can educate ourselves a lot quicker and be more thorough thanks to the internet. So, don’t let how old or young you are stop you from doing what you want to do. We should immediately cancel out any negativity that comes in the form of thoughts and people that try to discourage us. Actress and one of the coolest people on the planet Betty White said, I think it's your mental attitude. So many of us start dreading age in high school and that's a waste of a lovely life. 'Oh... I'm 30, oh, I'm 40, oh, 50.' Make the most of it. Make the most of it, I totally agree. Because with age comes wisdom and with youth relentless fearlessness. You know I always have to talk about my kid because he teaches me so much. So, there's a popular game I am sure you all have heard of it, its called Fortnite. It is a game that you can play with hundreds of people from around the world online via a gaming system. We recently allowed him to download it and play it because he did a good job in school and we felt he was mature enough at this age to handle it. As with everything he gets I have to play it. I’m am a kid at heart. But he showed me the basics of how to play and I watched him play several times and I even helped him win a Battle Royale, which is when you are the last player standing after everyone else has been killed. So, watching him play I felt like he was so reckless. Just running around everywhere, out in the open, not making sure he had enough ammo and enough shields. He’s ignoring the chest that has all of this great stuff in there and I'm like JJ, you need to get this, you need to be covert, hide behind that tree…. Mommy talk, basically. But, ooooh when it was my time. I lasted in that game all of 30 seconds before someone came and popped me and all we could do was laugh. I had the wisdom to help him win, but I didn’t have the fearlessness that he had to win myself.
There are countless inventions, books, movies, plays, presidents, senators, CEO’s, athletes, etc. that are lying dead in a graveyard because many people believed they were too old, too young, not educated enough, didn’t come from the right neighborhood or weren’t the right color or their past had too many blemishes on it for them to deserve a second chance. It’s sad. It is really sad the things that the world has missed out on because people talked themselves out of their dreams. No one is perfect, we all have made mistakes. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, but there’s absolutely no reason why we should not try. Even in your trying you are going to make mistakes. I have made too many to count in my lifetime. Some were preventable, some weren’t. But I was so happy when I saw the quote by artist Samantha Snyder was quoted as saying, mistakes are proof you are trying. Back in the day, I believed mistakes were a sign from God and the universe that this wasn’t for me or God that was teaching me some lesson. Or the universe was trying to tell me that I was going in the wrong direction. Sometimes that may be the case. But now I know those mistakes were and are part of my destiny and part of my story and they are in the past. I can not change a single thing about it. I have to keep living and keep trying and understand that mistakes will happen when you try to do anything new. Author, Joe Abercrombie said, “I have learned all kinds of things from my many mistakes. The one thing I never learn is to stop making them.” We may feel like some mistakes are bigger than others. We think because we’ve had a rough past or a trying childhood that we can’t possibly do what's in our hearts. But what if what you learned while making your mistakes was so you could help someone else not go down that same road. Your mistakes may follow you for the rest of your life, but that doesn’t have to stop your destiny. That does not mean you don’t have a purpose. And it is even more important for you to discover your “Why” because you may have to be a little more creative with how you make your dream a reality. You may have to hear a couple more “No’s”. You may have to work a little bit harder to prove you are trustworthy. But what you should never do is give up.
The universe is the architect, we are the builders. When the universe allows experiences (good or bad) to happen to us, it’s our job as builders of our personal destiny to build on our experiences, again (good, bad, whatever). I’m sure most of you have heard the saying, “you can either let it make you or break you.” We are the builders in our lives and many of us have been trying to be the creators and that is where the frustration, anxiety, stress, and depression comes from. There is only one Creator, the Highest God. Because we are trying to make things happen that we have no control over and we focus so much on the things we cannot control that we lose sight of the things that we can control and miss out on great opportunities. We miss out on beautiful experiences and moments. Then we become envious and jealous of those that understand where their focus should be and become successful because of it. Not realizing that if we do the same things, focus on what we can control, build from our life experiences, and live and enjoy every moment in our lives we to can be successful if not more successful and live our dreams too. Journalist, Dan Rather said, “If all difficulties were known at the outset of a long journey, most of us would never start out at all.”
Napoleon Hill was quoted as saying, The way to develop decisiveness is to start right where you are, with the very next question you face. So, the very next question I want each of us to face is the “Why” question. Write down everything that comes to mind. Some of your “Why’s” may seem trivial and insignificant. Write them down anyway and as you continue with your discovery I promise there will be at least three that will stick out. Those will be the ones that you hold on to. Add them to your morning routine. Read them or say them out loud every day. And if you working a job you hate, remind yourself of your “Why” before you cross the threshold of that place just so you realize that that place is not the end of your journey.
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Music by: Steffanccino and miyagisama
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Today podcast topic is, ”Will You Leap?” We are entering a new year and coming to a close of another decade. We are about to be in the year 2020! Can you believe it? I thought we would have flying cars and be living in floating houses and apartments by now. If we haven’t learned anything by now one thing that we know for sure is that time waits for no one. Life keeps going whether we keep going or not. And as we embark on this new year and a new decade, I want to leave you with this question to ponder, “Will You Leap?” That’s a loaded question, I know. There’s a Zen (Zen is a part of the Buddhist religion that emphasizes the practice of meditation and intuition) principle that says, “Leap and the net will appear.”
As we move out of 2019, I want you to answer this question for your life and your destiny. “Will you Leap?” 2020, the upcoming year is a leap year. For those that may not know, leap years have an extra day in February, so instead of there being 28 days in February, there are 29. Leap years occur every four years. So, I believe this question of “Will You Leap” is fitting considering.
Here are some of the many questions we have to answer as we move into 2020.
“Will You Leap”…. Leap and the net will appear is a statement of faith. It’s saying that we have to make the first move. We have to take the first step. We have to go even when we don’t see a clear path ahead of us…. But when we make that leap of faith, we say to ourselves, to God, and the universe that we believe in us. We believe in our purpose more than what we can see. We believe enough in our dreams that we leap because we know that the net is there to catch us even if we can’t see it at the moment. More often than not, when we set out to do things outside of the norm the path seems unclear, bleak, scary, dark, fuzzy. We don’t really know how we are going to get from point A to point B. But those that succeed abide by the Zen principle which again says, Leap and the net will appear. Those that succeed abide by the Christian principle which says, Walk by faith and not by sight. Author and alternative medicine advocate, Deepak Chopra said, "The universe has no restrictions. You place restrictions on the universe with your expectations."
We place restrictions on the universe…we place restrictions on the opportunities that come to us. We place restrictions on how far we go because of our expectations. What places restrictions by refusing to change and continue to allow toxic people to hang around and pollute our minds. Another serious question we have to ask ourselves is, what are we expecting to happen in 2020. Are you expecting it to be another year of the same ole same ole? Are you expecting to go to the same ole dead in job that has zero room for upward movement? Or are you expecting to get a job this year that you actually enjoy going to every day? Are you expecting to stay unemployed or are you expecting this year to be the year that you get the job you want, making the money you want, doing the things that you love? Are you expecting to keep talking about what you want to do this year or are you going to actually step out and do it?
Please hear me when I saw, I know that winning and taking chances come at a cost. I understand that things won’t be easy. I know that just because you are expecting to win and you are taking that leap of faith that doesn’t mean adversity will not come. Adversity will come. When you take that leap of faith it will seem as if hell opened up its doors and unleashed everything in its arsenal to knock you off your purpose. —But you gotta know that whatever is thrown at you, somebody somewhere has experienced it and conquered it and kept going. 2019 threw things at me that I never imagined I would experience. I got knocked on my face this year. And I have been living in a concussed state since April. I literally thought I was going to die. In May of this year, I didn’t think I would live to be talking to you in 2020. BUT! With the help of God, my amazing family and friends and to be honest chemical help and therapy I am now in the process of bouncing back. I am not there yet, but I am getting better and I am expecting great things to happen in 2020. I am expecting things that didn’t happen in 2019 to happen in 2020. I am expecting that scale to finally say the number that I want it to say… I am going to do things that I have been afraid to do. I am going to take the leap. Businessman, John A. Shedd was quoted as saying, "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”
We were not built to play it safe. We were not built to live in hiding too afraid to live, too afraid to die. We were not built to live in fear. Those dreams and ideas that you have were not given to you just for you to think about them for 5 and 10 years. You were given those dreams and desires for a reason. You may not be the originator of it, but you know what that makes your work easier because know you have a cheat code. You have a roadmap to follow. My son’s school has an enrichment class that teaches the kids different skills. They have drawing, They can learn to play a musical instrument, but my son chose Rubik’s Cube. Before he signed up for that class I hadn’t seen a Rubik’s cube in years. I had always wanted to solve one, but I was never even able to solve a color. So, in his class a couple of weeks ago, they taught the kids how to solve a color. I was just watching him and thinking, there is absolutely no way this kid is going to solve this cube before I do. You know the first place I went to? If you guess YouTube you guessed correctly! I went on there and it took me about three days, but I finally solved a Rubik’s Cube not once, not twice but three times. Now, I am trying to do it from memory. I said that to say this, you can learn how to do pretty much any and everything on the internet. There is absolutely no reason anyone can say, I don’t know how to do this.
If you want to be better at social media…ask the internet.
If you want tips on public speaking…ask the internet.
If you want to figure out what you need to get enrolled in school…ask the internet.
Poet and Philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson was quoted as saying, "Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” You know, take the pressure off yourself. Give yourself a break. See this journey as an experiment, you are trying something out. Starting out you are not going to be perfect. You are going to make mistakes, and that’s okay. You are going to want to quit. You are going to quit. But in all of that, you will learn how to do things better. You will learn what not to do. The things that seem so detrimental at one stage in life you will hopefully be able to look back at it and see the many things you learned. But you will only be able to look back and smile only if you make that leap and don’t quit.
Author and Motivational speaker Gary Vaynerchuk says, “Don’t ever let your circumstances determine your outcome. You are bigger and better than that. You can always control your own destiny. Use what you’ve got, find what you don’t, and make your dreams come true.”
Use what you’ve got, find what you don’t and make your dreams come true. I wanna say that one more time. Use what you’ve got, find what you don’t, and MAKE your dreams come true.
—Will You Leap? Will 2020 be the year you step out on faith or will it be business as usual for you? Are you going to go for that promotion this year? Or are you going to continue to let your brain die in that position that you can do with your eyes close? Are you going to start that business in 2020? Or are you going to continue to let all those negative voices in your head control your destiny? Are you going to finally lose that weight you’ve been talking about losing for years or are you going to continue to be controlled by food? Will you leap? Speaker and minister, Sarah Jakes Roberts said, “Embrace the uncomfortable to become unstoppable.” I want to make this very clear just because you decide to make the leap does not mean everything is going to be easy. You will have challenges and hardships. There will be times when you feel uneasy. You are going to lose some sleep. But I believe whatever we experience we will be able to look back and say with confidence, it was worth it. After all that I have lost over the years and everything I have experienced and the things that have been stolen from me…I refuse to have gone through everything I have gone through for nothing. The pain, tears, embarrassment, loss …will not be for nothing. So again, I ask you “Will You Leap?”
Author and Life Coach Barbara Sher which says, "When you play it too safe, you're taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth we're given." What are you going to do with this wealth of time that you have? Will you use it to leap into your destiny or are you going to just watch time pass you by? Before you know it we will be entering another decade. What will you be able to say you have done in this decade? Before 2019 ends, I suggest we all take inventory of our lives and make a list of things that we refuse to take into the new year. What are you going to leave behind on December 31, 2019? Don’t just make the leave behind the list, but also make a list of the things you plan to do in 2020. But don’t just make the list, hold yourself accountable to it. Don’t let another year pass you by without completing at least one thing on your list.
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Robert Whitaker that says, “Live for something, have a purpose, and that purpose keep in view.”
The past couple of podcasts we have been exploring dream killers and the things that stop us from becoming the people that we desire to be and do the things that we were put on this earth to do. I want to stay with that idea and remind everyone of the importance of keeping our original and purest purpose at the forefront of our brain at all times.
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When we accept the idea what victory starts with us, we cant blame anyone for anything in our lives. Every single person on planet earth has been wronged, stolen from, abused, picked on, doubted, you name it. But its up to us to find a way to channel all of that negativity. Should we not do what we really want to do because someone stole our idea? Should we stop doing what we want because people are doubting us? Should we not pursue our dreams because someone said it was stupid? I mean who would have thought that we would be walking around with handheld computers that we cant live without? Well, somebody did because most of us have cellphones these days. Nike has a ad slogan that says, “All dreams are crazy until they come true.” So why not give your dreams the opportunity to come true?
Available via: Spotify, Apple Podcast, Google Play, & iHeart Radio
Music by: silencekills and leswagcupcakes
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I hope at this point in the year, everyone is still committed to their goals, and sticking to tasks you set out to accomplish. If not, don’t worry, you still have time to make it happen. So, make it happen! Today’s podcast will address some simple, yet dangerous culprits, that have been successful at killing dreams.
The first dream killer I want to bring our attention is obvious, but the way it masks itself can prevent us from recognizing it when it shows up. Sometimes, we do not notice it until it is too late. That dream killer’s name is, DISTRACTION! It’s so easy to fall prey to distractions in the age we live in because we are busy people. We have more access to technology today than any other generation in the history of the planet. Not only do we have social media, Netflix, the internet, and work competing for our attention, we also have to find time for our families and friends. And we wonder why we are tired all the time? There are so many things vying for our attention. It can be challenging to figure out what is the priority, and what we should leave for later. Leadership and Personal Mastery Specialist Robin Sharma says, “your life is too important to give it to distractions.” Think about it -- when was the last time you were able to be alone with your thoughts for a couple of hours? When was the last time you practiced meditation techniques? How many of us can sit in a room for thirty minutes without grabbing our phones or tablets every few minutes to check emails, text messages, or social media?
Growing up, when it would rain, my family would gather together in the living room and spend quality time together. I'm not sure if that was by force or by choice, but it was my parent's rule. When there was a storm coming, my mom would turn everything off, which included the air conditioner. We would open the door, lay on the floor, listen to the rain, sing, laugh, and enjoy each other's company. Those times created memories and a bond with my family that I will never forget. Today, quiet and alone time has become almost non-existent. It’s like we are too afraid to sit in quiet with our thoughts because we are too afraid of what might come to the forefront. I will admit, dealing with our doubts, and facing our past can be scary. So our way of dealing with it is to keep ourselves preoccupied. We associate being busy with being productive, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I can be busy driving, but that does not mean I am going in the right direction. I believe, if we re-evaluated our schedules today, we would find several things that are unproductive. If we eliminated those unproductive items we would see that we have more time to dedicate to making our dreams come to life. We have to evaluate our lives and check to see if our schedule or agenda is a distractor in disguise. Playwriter and Director Lorraine Hansberry were quoted as saying, “Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.”
We need to ask ourselves:
Distractions also come in the form of people. Some of our so-called friends are nothing more than distractions. If we are honest, we would admit that half the people we consider friends don't want to see us succeed. Many of them are hanging around, waiting to see what’s going to happen next. Some are spies for our enemies, and others are place holders we use when we want someone to hang out with. If we are real with ourselves, we can admit that true friends care about us enough to challenge us. True friends call us to a higher standard and make us better people.
Here’s how you can tell if a person is a true friend:
We know when a person is telling us something to help us verses hurt us. When we hear hard things for the first time, even if it is in love, it may rub us the wrong way. But, we have to be man and woman enough to give ourselves time to process what they said and decide if it's something we should give a second look. Because, more often than not, what they are telling us is the truth. And it's a truth that we have tried to ignore. True friends would rather hurt your feelings in love than see you go out and make a fool of yourself. But a lot of us don’t want people around that will tell us the truth. We want amen corners. We want to be the bearers of truth, but we don't want to be the receptors of truth. If everyone in your circle agrees with you all the time, and you never hear, "no, or maybe you should rethink that idea," then you need to upgrade your circle.
Prime example, Robert Kelly, if you listen to interviews from people that have been around him, many of them said the same thing. He had a lot of “yes” people around him. People that would do whatever he wanted when he wanted. He didn’t have a lot of objective voices providing him with sound advice, now look where that got him. If you don’t know what’s going on with him, google it there’s a ton of info available. A quote by an unknown person says, “if you lose a friend because you are honest [they weren't] a good friend.” There’s no better time than today to get rid of the people that are not pushing you towards your dreams. This is the year we decide to do better and be better. For many of us, that starts with not returning some phone calls, text messages, blocking some people on social media, and completely disappearing from some folks. I’m not a fan of ghosting people, but some are just not worth the goodbye conversation. It’s okay to let people go that are not good for you.
Another sneaky dream killer that we encounter is DISBELIEF & UNBELIEF. I can not tell you the number of people that I have talked to that has a wealth of wisdom, great ideas, and talents that, for whatever reason, they are just sitting on. I mean people that could write books that would land on the “Times Best Seller” list, but they don’t believe it's possible or they don’t value their talent, so they don’t pursue it. They discredit their god-given talents and think no one would listen to them. But you would be surprised by the things people don't know. Just because something comes easy to you, or your idea seems minuscule, doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be valuable to someone else and change their lives. We don’t believe that we have anything to offer the world. We don’t believe we can actually be successful. We don’t think anyone needs what we have. Think about this, what if Maya Angelo thought the same way. What if Serena Williams shrunk back in her sister’s Venus shadow and thought, “She’s already great at tennis, surely I can't be good at it too.” What if Rihanna decided to past up the opportunity to create her make-up company Fendi? Seriously, we will never know the potential difference we could make, and the success we could have if we never try.
What is that thing that you know like the back of your hand? What’s that advice that everyone always comes to you about? What are you great at?
What can you do with your eyes closed that others view as an obstacle? I am not saying everyone needs to look to start a business or write a book. But what I am saying is you could be sitting on an idea that could change the world.
Truthfully, you will not have all of the answers in the beginning. It is not going to be easy getting started. You will hear more no's than yes' in the beginning. But, as you begin to pursue your dreams, you will find that the answers will come. I wrote a quote a while ago that says, “If you don’t give yourself a chance, it will never be your time.” I know a lot of us are wondering when is my time coming? When will the stars align in my favor? Will the universe ever make my dreams a reality? My question to you is, are you giving yourself a chance? Do you believe in you? Do you believe in your abilities? Are you dismissing what you are good at? Novelist Alice Walker says, "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” That starts with you valuing what you have enough to believe in yourself.
In 2016, I wrote this affirmation and I have reincorporated into my daily routine. It says,
I live a lifestyle that is sustainable.
All of my dreams are attainable.
I keep my focus on Christ who leads and guides me so my mistakes are minimal.
I cherish every moment of my life the good, bad, and ugly.
Every day I am alive, gives me an opportunity to become a better person.
I will not reduce my standards to fit someone else’s plans. I stand firm on my beliefs, therefore, I live a life free of guilt, shame, and filled with heavenly promises.
My path is sure, my confidence is contagious, and I never lose.
I use mistakes to show me better methods to accomplish my goals.
I have started back saying this to myself daily. The first step in getting rid of unbelief is to first change what we are telling ourselves. When those negative thoughts pop into our heads we have to combat them with something. It may not be a 10 sentence affirmation, but say something when the negativity comes to mind. Sometimes, that stuff comes out of nowhere. Like the other day, I was driving and a thought popped into my head and was like, maybe it’s time to quit the podcast. I mean, I wasn’t even thinking about this podcast. I admit, I entertained it for like five seconds. Then I was like, I have too much on the line, I have a vision for this podcast that far exceeds where it is right now. I am not going to quit. I cannot quit. I have too much in me to quit. If and when negative thoughts come, we must combat them with what we truly believe.
Distractions do not have to rule our lives. We do not have to give in to them. We do not have to bow down to them. One way to fight the dream killer DISTRACTION is to first determine what is taking away our focus.
This may take scheduling some "me" time, and this process should be on-going. It’s not something we can do once and think we have all the answers. I heard the CEO of Chick-fil-a Dan Cathy say, “Nothing nourishes the soul like solitude.” Schedule time weekly, or daily to reflect, game plan, and deal with your thoughts and emotions. Give it a try for two weeks.
Here's are some suggestions:
Schedule quiet time either in the morning or evening.
Plan to wake up 30 mins to an hour early, and designation that time for reflection and meditation. Here's another valuable tip, do it before you pick up your phone, turn on the TV or even get out of bed. I suggest using a pen and paper. Put a notepad near your bed, and when you wake up, grab it and jot down your thoughts. Try not to use your phone because you may get distracted by text and other notifications. Let’s go old school pen and paper. If you are not a morning person, use the time when you are in your car driving to and from work. Turn the radio off, turn the recorder on your phone, and start blabbing away. It’s okay to have your own therapy session many of us need it.
We can also use this time to plan our days. We need to make sure we are in control of our time and that our time is not controlling us. When we operate like that, we can find ourselves feeling scattered and all over the place. A quote from an unknown person says, “Without structure, focus is impossible.” Everyone needs organization or structure in our lives. We spend 8 -10 hours at work, building other people's dreams, why not give 1-2 hours of our time to our dream. Sacrifice a little time in the morning or in the evening to make sure we keep our dreams alive.
It is vitally important for us to fight our inner negative thoughts. Don’t allow negativity to go unchecked. Also, remove people that are not good for us. Even some of our jobs, if that job is not something you see yourself doing for the next ten years and you hate being there, use your scheduled quiet time to apply for new jobs. Don’t stay in a place that you hate. It does nothing, but tear you down and it’s not good for your soul.
Today’s take-away’s:
Available via: Spotify, Apple Podcast, Google Play, & iHeart Radio
Music by: silencekills
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The podcast currently has 29 episodes available.