Wings of a Phoenix Podcast

What happens to your sense of self when you spend years becoming someone's wife, and then the marriage ends? Trena Briscoe Matthews talks with author, public radio host, and Choose You Club founder Anna Jinja Mather about adoption, people-pleasing, and learning to know your worth after divorce.

Anna shares how being adopted shaped her need to earn her place, how love and abandonment got confused, and what it took to rebuild, from a releasing-of-vows ceremony with her ex-husband to a pair of granny panties as a pledge to herself. They also talk about a credit score of zero, asking "What am I good at?", and the first small steps when you ask, "Who am I now?"

Ready to begin answering that question for yourself? Join the live Identity Workshop on Tuesday, October 20, from 1:00 to 2:30 PM ET on Zoom:

https://app.silverlinepublishing.cloud/widget/bookings/host-live-meeting

Chapters:

0:00 Intro

1:07 Meet Anna Jinja Mather

4:44 The releasing-of-vows ceremony

12:21 Growing up adopted in Iowa

16:28 When love gets confused with abandonment

17:33 The granny panties pledge

18:55 Therapy and the podcast that changed everything

24:03 What am I good at?

28:13 Rebuilding from a credit score of zero

31:17 Adopting Grace: the novel

36:31 First steps to reclaim who you are

40:43 Silver linings

41:03 Know your worth

41:28 Where to find Anna

42:15 Live Identity Workshop announcement

About the guest:

Anna Jinja Mather was born in Seoul, Korea, and raised in Iowa. Her journey as an international adoptee shaped a lifelong passion for understanding identity, home, and human connection. An author, public radio host, and community founder, she speaks from lived experience and years of community and nonprofit advocacy about adoption, foster care, identity, self-love, and resilience. She is the author of Adopting Grace, the host and producer of The Anna Jinja Show (carried on public radio through NPR affiliate WOUB and the Pacifica Network), and the founder of the Choose You Club.

Connect with Anna:

Substack: Homecoming with Anna

Book: Adopting Grace, a novel, available on Amazon

Podcast: The Anna Jinja Show, on all podcast platforms

Community: The Choose You Club

All of her links in one place:

https://www.annajinja.com/

About the host:

Trena Briscoe Matthews is a coach, author, and host of the Wings of a Phoenix Podcast. After more than 20 years at the CIA, including 13 years in executive leadership, and nearly a decade at Cisco Systems, she turned one of the hardest chapters of her own life into her life's mission:  helping high-achieving women rebuild with intention after divorce. Her work walks a woman from bracing for whatever comes next to facing it steady and confident, from not recognizing herself in the mirror to knowing exactly who she is. She is the founder of Silverline Publishing, creator of the Phoenix Protocol, a four-pillar coaching framework, and the author of Self-Love for Women and the forthcoming The Phoenix Path.

Connect with Trena: 

https://silverlinepublishing.cloud/

Welcome to Episode 20 of Wings of a Phoenix, and a milestone worth celebrating. In this solo episode, host Trena Briscoe Matthews answers the questions she hears most often from high-achieving women 40 and over who are rebuilding their lives after divorce.

If you have been feeling lost or unsettled, quieter than you used to be, and not quite sure who you are now that your life looks different, this one is for you. Trena walks you through a mini Phoenix Reset and reframes what is actually happening in this season, so you can move through it on purpose, with intention and grace.

In this episode:

- Why feeling lost after divorce is normal, even when the divorce is the thing you wanted

- The Quiet In-Between, the space between who you were and who you are becoming

- Who am I now that I am no longer a wife, and why a long marriage makes this harder

- Retiring the roles that served the marriage but no longer serve you, like people-pleasing

- Why progress can feel slow even when you are doing all the right things

- Permission to move on your own timeline, and Trena's honest one

- What to do with the fear that you will never feel like yourself again

- A reflection and an affirmation to carry into your week

Resources and next steps:

- Free Phoenix Reset, a simple place to start today: https://free.silverlinepublishing.cloud/phoenixreset

- Live Identity Workshop, October 20, "Who Am I Now? A Live Workshop to Begin Rebuilding Your Identity After Divorce." Save your seat: https://app.silverlinepublishing.cloud/widget/bookings/host-live-meeting

- Book an alignment call to see if we are a good fit: https://app.silverlinepublishing.cloud/widget/bookings/alignment-connect

- Learn more: https://silverlinepublishing.cloud

If this episode spoke to you, please follow the show, share it with a friend or a sister who needs it, and leave a rating. Have a question you would like answered on a future episode? Send it in, and if there is enough interest it may become its own show.

Chapters:

0:00 Welcome and the Episode 20 milestone

1:28 Today's format: a solo Q&A

2:16 The Phoenix Reset begins with recognition

2:48 "I wanted this, so why do I feel so lost?"

4:10 The Quiet In-Between

5:47 Who am I now that I am not a wife?

7:49 Retiring roles that no longer serve you

8:47 Why progress can feel slow

10:28 Permission to customize your own timeline

12:22 What if I never feel like myself again?

14:13 Reflection questions

15:04 The affirmation

15:50 Live Identity Workshop, October 20

16:18 The free Phoenix Reset

16:37 Closing and next steps

17:42 This is your season to rise

What if the goal was never to recover from your divorce, but to finally become the woman all those roles never gave you room to be?

In this episode of Wings of a Phoenix, host Trena Briscoe Matthews sits down with Dr. Lisha Antiqua, former therapist, founder of Your Own University, and author of six books, to unpack why willpower alone can't rebuild your life after divorce, and why identity is the real key to transformation.

Dr. Lisha shares her "Amazing You Method" and explains how healing became an addiction for so many women, why traditional therapy keeps you dependent, and how to reclaim your sense of self after a marriage ends. If you have ever asked "Who am I now?" after divorce, this episode is for you.

In this conversation:

Free Identity Shift Blueprint from Dr. Lisha: https://lishaantiqua.com/

Your Own University: https://yourownuniversity.com/

Grab the free Phoenix Reset: https://free.silverlinepublishing.cloud/phoenixreset?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes

Join the private Facebook community, Post-Divorce Women: Reclaim, Rebuild & Rise

Ready to rebuild with intention? Apply for a 10-minute Alignment Call: https://app.silverlinepublishing.cloud/widget/bookings/alignment-connect?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes

Dr. Lisha Antiqua is the founder of Your Own University and the creator of the Amazing YOU Method and the Reclaim Intimacy Method. Awarded America's Premier Expert in Self-Care, she has spent decades studying transpersonal psychology, human behavior, and personal transformation, and is the author of six books. After years as a therapist, and years in therapy herself, she saw the gap no one was naming: healing was never meant to become your identity. Working with thousands of survivors, she found that many women become experts in their own trauma yet still struggle to trust themselves, receive love, or build the life they want. Her work helps women reclaim what trauma took, their voice, value, self-trust, relationships, pleasure, and purpose, and move from surviving into a life they genuinely love. As she puts it, the goal was never to spend your life recovering, it was to become the person trauma tried to prevent you from becoming.

Trena Briscoe Matthews is a coach, author, and host of the Wings of a Phoenix Podcast. After more than 20 years at the CIA, including 13 years in executive leadership, and nearly a decade at Cisco Systems, she turned one of the hardest chapters of her own life into her life's mission: helping high-achieving women rebuild with intention after divorce. She is the founder of Silverline Publishing, creator of the Phoenix Protocol, a four-pillar coaching framework for women ready to move from survival to design, and the author of Self-Love for Women and the forthcoming The Phoenix Path.

0:00 Solo Opening

0:26 Standard Intro

1:08 Meet Dr. Lisha Antiqua

1:34 "The goal was never to spend your life recovering"

1:57 Healing as a lifestyle addiction

2:23 Childhood abuse and the healing system

3:16 Why the healing industry keeps you dependent

5:27 Moving away from traditional therapy

5:58 Why Dr. Lisha never got licensed

7:38 Object Identity Disorder vs. PTSD

9:19 The Amazing You Method & "Into Me See"

12:57 Identity vs. Willpower: the real difference

14:52 You're not lost, you're not chosen

16:40 The four elements of identity

19:36 Shadow work redefined: joy is the real shadow

23:48 Willpower is a myth that keeps you stuck

25:20 Rebuilding confidence after divorce

26:24 Confidence is learning how to fail

29:55 One question to ask yourself today

31:50 Free Identity Shift Blueprint

33:26 Where to connect & closing thoughts

Are you hoping things will change, or are you asking for what you need?

In this episode, host Trena Briscoe Matthews sits down with Marcelle LeBlanc, relationship coach, founder of the intimacy and wellness brand Velvet Box, and creator of The Conversation Architect, to unpack the difference between women who hope and women who ask. Marcelle shares her own story: nearly a decade in a marriage built on silence, the discovery that her husband was living a double life, and rebuilding from close to zero, emotionally and financially. What she found on the other side became a framework for transformation.

This conversation is for every woman who has ever waited for someone else to notice, hoping he would change, when what she actually needed was to ask.

Marcelle LeBlanc is the Conversation Architect and has discovered that one honest conversation can save a woman years. Years of resentment. Years of loneliness and the quiet grief of not being seen. Years spent building a life with the wrong person, or with the right person in the wrong way. After surviving an unhealthy marriage, infidelity, and a devastating divorce, Marcelle's path took an unexpected turn. Through more than a decade of conversations with thousands of women in the business she built, she began noticing the same painful pattern over and over again: many women know something is wrong in their relationship long before they allow themselves to say it out loud. Many convince themselves it's "good enough," only to realize years later that it was a painful mistake. Today, Marcelle is an entrepreneur who built Velvet Box, a multi-million-dollar retail brand, and now dedicates her life to The Conversation Architect. Marcelle is on a mission to help women make the critical decision that could change their lives. Not by spending months in couples therapy, but through one honest conversation that can set them on a path toward love, happiness, and alignment.

onekeyconversation.com | @the_conversation_architect (Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn)

Trena Briscoe Matthews is a coach, author, and host of the Wings of a Phoenix Podcast. After more than 20 years at the CIA, including 13 years in executive leadership, and nearly a decade at Cisco Systems, she turned one of the hardest chapters of her own life into her life's mission: helping high-achieving women rebuild with intention after divorce. Her work walks a woman from bracing for whatever comes next to facing it steady and confident, from not recognizing herself in the mirror to knowing exactly who she is. She is the founder of Silverline Publishing, creator of the Phoenix Protocol, a four-pillar coaching framework, and the author of Self-Love for Women and the forthcoming The Phoenix Path.

Are you a high-achieving mom navigating divorce while trying to protect your kids’ emotional well-being? In this episode, host Trena Briscoe Matthews sits down with Dr. Carla Caturia — Elite Mental Performance Coach and founder of The House of RISE — for the honest conversation every divorcing mom needs to hear.

Dr. Carla has spent over 20 years in education and has worked with more than 10,000 students and families. She’s identified a pattern she calls the “Success Without Self Cycle” — where achievement keeps climbing while identity quietly falls behind. Your kids can be making straight A’s, winning trophies, and appearing perfectly fine on the outside… while carrying something heavy underneath.

In this conversation:

LINKS & RESOURCES

Free Phoenix Reset Guide: https://free.silverlinepublishing.cloud/opt-in-page?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes

Join the private Facebook community: Post-Divorce Women — Reclaim, Rebuild & Rise

Follow Dr. Carla Caturia: @DrCarlaCuturia on Instagram & Facebook

Apply for a 10-Minute Alignment Call with Trena: https://app.silverlinepublishing.cloud/widget/bookings/alignment-connect?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes

ABOUT THE GUEST — DR. CARLA CATURIA

Dr. Carla Caturia is an Elite Mental Performance Coach and the founder of The House of RISE. Drawing on more than 20 years in education — as a teacher, vice principal, and professor — she has worked with over 10,000 students and families, helping tweens, teens, young adults, and their parents build the inner skills achievement alone can’t provide: confidence, emotional resilience, self-trust, and emotional intelligence. Her work grew from her own story — a straight-A, varsity-athlete teen who looked successful on the outside while carrying pressure and self-doubt underneath. Through her signature RISE Framework and the Success Without Self Cycle™, she helps young people perform at a high level without tying their worth to their achievements.

ABOUT THE HOST — TRENA BRISCOE MATTHEWS

Trena Briscoe Matthews is a coach, author, and host of the Wings of a Phoenix Podcast. After more than 20 years at the CIA — including 13 years in executive leadership — and nearly a decade at Cisco Systems — she turned one of the hardest chapters of her own life into her life’s mission: helping high-achieving women rebuild with intention after divorce. She is the founder of Silverline Publishing, creator of the Phoenix Protocol — a four-pillar coaching framework for women ready to move from survival to design — and the author of Self-Love for Women and the forthcoming The Phoenix Path.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction: The fear every divorcing mom carries

00:41 Welcome to Wings of a Phoenix

01:08 Meet Dr. Carla Caturia & The House of RISE

02:12 The Success Without Self Cycle explained

02:37 Carla’s story: Achievement as a mask

04:46 Leaving a successful career to rebuild

09:05 The moment she stopped trusting herself

10:40 How the cycle shows up in women

11:26 Reconnecting with your identity after divorce

13:23 Removing limiting beliefs as a mom

15:43 What’s really happening inside your kids

16:07 Open communication strategies for parents

17:56 When your child looks “fine” on the outside

19:36 Why moms need a third-party support system

20:35 The power of vulnerability with your kids

23:41 Co-parenting with different standards in two homes

27:53 One conversation to have with your teen this week

30:31 What Dr. Carla wants every divorcing mom to know

32:33 Where to find Dr. Carla & her free teen course

34:07 Grab your FREE Phoenix Reset Guide

If you've been putting off updating your estate plan after divorce — this episode is your wake-up call.

Attorney, CFP®, and tax strategist Matt Meredith of Meridian Legal Advisors joins host Trena Briscoe Matthews to break down the exact legal and financial moves divorced women need to make — and what's silently at risk when they don't.

In this episode, you'll learn:

ABOUT THE GUEST

Matt Meredith is an attorney, CFP®, and tax strategist and the founder of Meridian Legal Advisors — a one-stop firm built to serve clients at the intersection of legal, financial, and tax planning. Matt specializes in estate planning, asset protection, and post-divorce financial strategy, helping clients close the legal and financial gaps that too often go unaddressed after a major life transition. He works with divorced women navigating the critical first years after separation, ensuring their estate plans, beneficiary designations, business documents, and tax strategies reflect their new reality — not their old life.

Connect with Matt Meredith:

🌐 meridianlg.com

📧 [email protected]

ABOUT THE HOST

Trena Briscoe Matthews is a coach, author, and host of the Wings of a Phoenix Podcast. After more than 20 years at the CIA — including 13 years in executive leadership — and nearly a decade at Cisco Systems — she turned one of the hardest chapters of her own life into her life's mission: helping high-achieving women rebuild with intention after divorce. She is the founder of Silverline Publishing, creator of the Phoenix Protocol — a four-pillar coaching framework for women ready to move from survival to design — and the author of Self-Love for Women and the forthcoming The Phoenix Path.

Resources:

📌 Free Virtual Event — Starting Over Smart: The Financial Moves That Matter Most for Post-Divorce Women — June 30th. Register here → https://us06web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_hRfHMMNbQxCdOr0H9wQR5Q#/registration

📋 Free Post-Divorce Financial Checklist: free.silverlinepublishing.cloud/checklist

Wings of a Phoenix is hosted by Trena Briscoe Matthews — divorce recovery coach for

high-achieving women 40+ ready to rebuild with intention.

🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode and  leave a review — it helps more women find this show.

#WingsOfAPhoenix #divorce #DivorceRecovery #EstatePlanningAfterDivorce #FinancialFreedomWomen #DivorceFinances #AssetProtection #TaxStrategy #PostDivorce #WomenAndMoney #HighAchievingWomen #DivorceCoach #EstatePlanning #MattMeredith #MeridianLegalAdvisors #TrenaBriscoeMatthews #WealthBuilding #DivorceLife #LegalAdvice #FinancialPlanning #CFP

⚠️ If any part of this conversation resonated with you and you or someone you know is in an unsafe situation, help is available 24/7.

What happens when the relationship that costs you the most becomes the story you were always meant to tell?

In this episode, I sit down with Nikki Allen — singer-songwriter, filmmaker, author, philanthropist, and founder of The Empress Company and Lyrical Content Entertainment Group. Nikki is a woman who has turned every hard thing into art, and this conversation reflects exactly that.

She opens up about losing her mother, finding herself deep in a relationship that cost her more than she expected, and how she transformed that pain into music, film, and her debut novel Loved You, Hated You. What struck me most was that even in the hard parts, Nikki never lost sight of who she was — and she made sure we talked about the healing, not just the heartbreak.

We cover how grief shaped her early life and career, the story behind her novel, what it really means to be a soul-led woman, and the tools that helped her rebuild and build an empire on the other side of loss.

This one is for every woman who has ever loved someone at the cost of herself — and is ready to come back to who she was before.

0:00 – Introduction & Episode Teaser

0:30 – Meet Nikki Allen: Singer, Filmmaker, Author & Founder

1:22 – Welcome to Wings of a Phoenix Podcast

2:33 – Who Was Nikki in Her 20s? Life Before the Relationship

3:55 – Moving to LA & Losing Her Mom — Her North Star Was Gone

5:05 – How the Toxic Relationship Started Slowly

6:46 – The Representative Has an Expiration Date

6:47 – From Song to Screenplay to Novel: Why Loved You, Hated You Needed to Be Written

9:42 – Identity Erosion: When Love Slowly Costs You Yourself

10:38 – The Spiritual Sign She Took as Confirmation

12:57 – Controlling Behaviors That Crept In Unnoticed

14:19 – Physical Abuse & Why She Stayed

16:07 – He Came After Her With a Gun

21:43 – People Only Treat You the Way You Allow: Doing the Inner Work

23:01 – Soul Surgery: Healing Childhood Trauma & Breaking Patterns

26:39 – Creative Expression as Healing: Song, Film & Fiction

29:39 – The Woman Still in It: Nikki's Message of Grace

32:01 – He's Still in Her Life Today — How Boundaries Changed Everything

32:30 – Where to Find Loved You, Hated You & Connect With Nikki

33:08 – Final Words & Call to Action from Trena

Nikki Allen is a multi-hyphenate artist, entrepreneur, and author whose life's work sits at the intersection of creativity, healing, and impact. As a singer-songwriter, filmmaker, and philanthropist, she has built a career dedicated to telling the stories that most people are afraid to say out loud. She is the founder of The Empress Company and Lyrical Content Entertainment Group, and the author of the debut novel Loved You, Hated You — a raw, unflinching look at love, loss, and the journey back to self.

Connect with Nikki Allen: https://officialnikkiallen.com/

Trena Briscoe Matthews is a coach, author, and host of the Wings of a Phoenix Podcast. After more than 20 years at the CIA — including 13 years in executive leadership — and nearly a decade at Cisco Systems — she turned one of the hardest chapters of her own life into her life's mission: helping high-achieving women rebuild with intention after divorce. She is the founder of Silverline Publishing, creator of the Phoenix Protocol — a four-pillar coaching framework for women ready to move from survival to design — and the author of Self-Love for Women and the forthcoming The Phoenix Path.

🔗 Connect with Trena: https://tcbriscoe.my.canva.site/ 

Subscribe to Wings of a Phoenix for new episodes every week.

This is your season to rise. — Trena