Wisdom Wednesday: Aging Wisdom's Podcast

Is the Grass Greener? Benefits to moving to a retirement community

We’ve look at the reasons your parents are resistant to change. 

We’ve talk about the common challenges to staying at home.

Now we are going to explore the benefits of what a retirement or senior living community has to offer. 

In future episodes we’ll cover next steps when planning for a move, as well as the specifics about different levels of care, which is appropriate when, and costs. 

Additional Reading and Resources

·      From Professional to Personal Experience: Moving my Mom (Aging Wisdom blog article)

·      When is it Time to Move? (Aging Wisdom blog article)

·      A Move to a Retirement Community Could Mean More Independence for Your Parent (Aging Wisdom blog article) 

·      Know Your Options: The Pros and Cons of Living at Home as You Age (Aging Wisdom blog article) 

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Do you have a plan for the time when home it is no longer safe and supportive for your parent/s, your spouse, your partner, or you? Every family and every situation is different. 

Just a few of the more common challenges we see to staying at home:

• Home maintenance and accessibility 
• Social isolation and loneliness
• Transportation 
• Fall risks, limited mobility, and physical safety
• Medication and health management
• Family exhaustion 
• Finances 

Understanding the landscape and planning for what’s to come can save a lot of stress and heartache in the long run.

Additional Reading and Resources

• When is It Time to Move? (Aging Wisdom blog article)
• Signs It’s Time to Move (Aging Wisdom podcast episode)
• Pros and cons of aging in place (Aging Wisdom blog article)
• The Dance: Finding Balance with Helping an Aging Parent (Aging Wisdom blog article)

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During the pandemic, we created a series of educational online courses focused on topics that families grapple with most often. This became Aging Wisdom University, a way to continue delivering relevant information and resources to family care partners at a time of uncertainty.

We know this content is valuable, but perhaps better shared now as short podcasts episodes.  

Over the next few months, we’ll be rolling out a new weekly episodes from this repurposed series. We hope you will find this helpful as you navigate the journey.

Season 4 Episode 1 “I will never move!”

We assume you are here because you have been worrying about your parents or another older adult in your care:

• You’ve likely had a few sleepless nights
• You are banging your head against the wall trying to open a dialogue with them about your concerns
• You feel overwhelmed because you are trying to juggle your work, your own responsibilities, AND assist them
• You have been suggesting help only to have them tell you they are just fine and do not need help
• You feel guilty because you think you should be doing more

If even one of these concerns is familiar, this series of podcast episodes from Should I Move Mom? is for you!.

We have repurposed the course Should I Move Mom? into four podcast episodes:

• “I will never move!” Some common reasons your older loved one might be digging in their heels
• Home Sweet Home? Being at home isn't all it’s cracked up to be
• Is the Grass Greener? Benefits retirement communities offer
• Now What? 4 steps to understanding options; risks and benefits of each

Over these four episodes, you will learn about options, resources, and master your understanding of how best to help an older loved one to stay safely at home or move to a retirement community.

It’s likely you are worried about an older adult in your life. You have probably wondered if they would be better off living in a retirement community. 

Have you made that suggestion? Only to be told “I will never move!” 

In “I will never move!” we address some of the common reasons older adults are resistant to moving and resistant to accepting help. It’s important to understand the situation from their perspective. 

Resources and Additional Reading:

• Can freedom and safety co-exist? (Aging Wisdom blog article)
• Pick your battles (Aging Wisdom podcast episode) 
• Resistance to Care is a Common Challenge: What’s the best path forward? (Aging Wisdom blog article)
• My Mom Refuses to Accept Help! Lack of Insight May Be the Reason (Aging Wisdom blog article)

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In this podcast episode, the last episode in the Proactive Planning series, Kristin McHugh, Lead Advisor with Brighton Jones, and Lisa Mayfield, our principal and founder, answer more audience questions.  

Their discussion in this episode focuses on working with an Aging Life Care manager, Sandwich caregiving, and long-distance caregiving.  

Should we proactively establish a relationship with an aging life care manager? 

If you're engaged in proactive planning, an Aging Life Care professional (aka Care Manager) can help. We help you with personalized planning, goals, thinking ahead, considering options, and anticipating needs and costs.

Like attorneys, we bill for our time by the hour. When people first begin working with Aging Life Care professionals, it tends to be four to seven hours of services to help you with that planning. Most care managers, once you've met with us and you have a relationship, you can then reach out as things change.  

It can often help ease some anxiety when you're thinking about the future, particularly those that are aging solo.  

How do you navigate caregiving when you work fulltime or live long-distance from your parents? Are there any websites or particular tools that one can utilize to help determine the best places to go for care, folks to reach out to, etc?   

Aging Life Care professionals (aka care managers) like us can help you navigate the best home care agencies or the best retirement communities. Engaging somebody like Aging Wisdom can be helpful because they'll connect you with those resources. And we have relationships with local resources, we know who is dependable and the approximate costs.  

And if your parents aren’t interested, you can still meet with a professional to help you understand the lay of the land.  

A senior center can be a great resource as well. For example, if someone's asking me for help in a different area of the country, and I see there isn't a care manager, I'll look to see if there’s a senior center. Senior centers are usually a great hub of knowledge and can help you navigate resources in their area.  

Want to learn more about how our client-centered approach to living, caring, and aging well can benefit you? Click here to schedule a get-acquainted call with one of our Certified Care Managers.

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In this podcast episode, as well as the next (and last) episode in this Proactive Planning series, Kristin McHugh, Lead Advisor with Brighton Jones, and Lisa Mayfield, our principal and founder, answer more audience questions.  

Their discussion in this episode focuses on long-term care insurance and long-term care costs.  

Financial advisors often help clients review long-term care insurance plan options and can help guide them on what would work best for their individual situation.  

And as Aging Life Care professionals, we are often asked by our clients about the cost of long-term care. From home care to supportive living communities, there are many factors that are part of the answer. We keep up to date on costs and can provide clients with a dependable assessment of short- and long-term costs. We also help clients look at aging-in-place and determine when it might be best to move to a senior living community. 

Lisa also talks about the Village movement and how this can be a great resource for those living within the coverage area of a village network.  You can read more about this growing model of support in Neighbors Helping Neighbors: The Village Movement (Aging Wisdom blog article). 

Our Aging Life Care experts (aka Care Managers) provide one-time consultations or ongoing care management to help get clients moving in the right direction. We offer home visits, as well as consultations at two conveniently located offices in Seattle and Bellevue. We also offer virtual consultations. To schedule a get-acquainted call to learn more, click here.

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In this podcast episode, and the next two forthcoming episodes, Kristin McHugh, Lead Advisor with Brighton Jones, asks Lisa Mayfield, our principal and founder, answer some audience questions about Proactive Planning.

First question: Have you seen any data on what folks like the most as a type of care or how care types link to happiness or life satisfaction? 

As Lisa reflects, in general, it's really individualized because there's certainly people who say, "I'll never leave my house. I love my house. I want to stay in my house.” And you can stay in your house. It's possible to make that happen. 

But there are others for whom a retirement community might sound more appealing.  It's very much a personal decision. 

Figure out what makes you happy in life and how do you create a plan that ensures your values are being met. 

Next question: What is the biggest mistake you see families make?

As Lisa reflects: “Not planning.” Planning isn't always easy or fun. Most often people avoid doing their planning, or you'll say to yourself, “Oh yeah, I need to plan,” but it gets pushed back and you never do it.

Making plans, having conversations with your family or support people is important. But the legal documentsare really the most important. 

Resources to guide the process – variations on the theme of Proactive Planning

• 3 Questions You Should Ask About Long-Term Care Planning
• Wholistic Estate Planning
• The Power of Planning: Taking Charge of Your Own Aging Journey

Not quite sure what steps to take next? You can schedule a get-acquainted call with us to determine together whether our services are a good fit for your needs.

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Aside for Aging Life Care Professionals (aka Care Managers) like ourselves, the professionals below are also resources for help with planning. To find an Aging Life Care expert in your area, visit our professional association – the Aging Life Care Association at aginglifecare.org 

Other professionals that can help you on the planning journey include:

• Your financial advisor or wealth manager 
• Local senior centers often have social workers who can be a great resource for helping navigate changes or letting you know what help is available
• The Alzheimer's Association -- https://www.alz.org
• Elder Law attorneys -- https://waela.org
• Primary care provider – yours or that of your parent/s 

Proactively planning for yourself or your parents is best addressed by pulling together your professional team to help you prepare, anticipate, and walk you through changes.  

You Are Not Alone! If you have these key supports engaged in planning, you will feel far less alone and better equipped to face what’s ahead.  

Not sure where to start? Aging Wisdom can help! As your trusted advisor, we can help you plan for and help you navigate the best options.  Schedule a free, get-acquainted call today to get the conversation started. 

Additional Reading and Resources

• Get in the Lifeboat: But Don’t Float Alone! Key Supports You’ll Want in Your Boat (Aging Wisdom blog article)
• Preventing a Crisis (Aging Wisdom blog article)
• When is Care Management the Best Option? (Aging Wisdom podcast)
• What is “elder law”? (Aging Wisdom blog article)

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In addition to elder law and estate planning attorneys, and financial advisor and wealth managers, there is a third type of professional that can help you with care planning, Aging Life Care Professionals, aka Care Managers, like our team here at Aging Wisdom.  

An Aging Life Care Professional provides consultation and comprehensive, personally tailored plans addressing health changes, family dynamics, housing, hands-on assistance, care planning, and more. We also assist in implementation and ongoing care management.  

As Lisa shared in an earlier episode of this series, there are people like us all over the country. Aging Wisdom serves King and South Snohomish counties in Washington State. We are part of professional association – the Aging Life Care Association – and can help you find care management professionals in your area. 

As you're planning ahead, whether for yourself or your parents, it is essential to consider where you will live.

Do you want to remain in your home? Is that important for you? Is home really “Home Sweet Home?  There can be a lot of complications and unforeseen challenges to aging in place if we don’t plan.  

And many baby boomers come to see us because their parents had refused help, didn't plan, and they, as the adult children, were stuck picking up the pieces and cleaning up the crisis that occurred. 

When they come to us for consultation, their top priority is to proactively plan. “We don't want to be a burden to our children. We want to do this planning. We want to be prepared so that we're not a burden to our kids.” 

This could include a move to a retirement community. That decision comes with lots of possibilities and questions as well.  We help couples, individuals, and families navigate and narrow down the options.

Not quite sure what steps to take next? You can schedule a get-acquainted call with us to determine together whether our services are a good fit for your needs.

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The Seattle Times addressed the cost of long-term care in this recent article, Seattle-area assisted living comes with a crushing price tag. 

The cost of long-term care often comes as a shock to many. 

What does care cost? This slide provides a snapshot of the annual costs of home care, assisted living, skilled nursing, and adult family homes. (Memory care costs are not reflected in this graph). This data comes from the Genworth Cost of Care Survey.  

As Lisa reflects, she has been doing this work for 20 years, and it's really over the last couple of years, certainly during the pandemic, that costs began to skyrocket in the greater Seattle area.

Good to note that no matter where you are in the country, costs in a major metro area will be more than outside the city. In the Seattle-Bellevue-Kirkland area, you don't have to go very far outside the metro area for costs to go down considerably. 

The need for long-term supports and services usually grows over time. Someone may need a little bit of help and over time, depending on health and condition, it may gradually transition to needing round the clock support. When people first start to need help, it's often an affordable expense to have a little bit of help at home. And there may come a time when moving to a more supportive living environment makes sense.

How Much Help Will You Need? At some point, 70% of us will need help at some point in time, but how long will you need help? Statistics show that someone over 65 will need some type of long-term care assistance for three years.  

Women tend to live a little longer, and that number is 3.7 years. For men it is a little less at 2.2 years. And 20% of us will need care for longer than five years.  

So the question people will often ask is, What should I be planning for? What number should I use when I'm planning for care? How many years should I be using in my financial planning? It never hurts to be more conservative in your planning. So, if you have the resources to plan for five years, it's certainly much safer. 

Uncertain about the cost of long-term care? Not sure what you want and how to engage your family? We can help! Click here to schedule a get-acquainted call with a Certified Care Manager to head in the right direction. 

Additional Resources

·      What is Long-Term Care?

·      Paying for care at home

·      Wholistic Estate Planning

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Financial planning. Whether it's for yourself or for your parents, having an understanding of assets in the context of when you're retired is essential. You'll need money for your basic needs, money to maintain the lifestyle that you want to live, money to still travel if that's a priority, and for charitable giving, if that's a priority. You will also need money to cover medical expenses and eventually for long-term care. So the care that we'll be talking about today, that money that you have saved needs to be able to cover these expenses as well. 

Once you understand your assets or your parents' assets, the next piece is how much will it cost? Educating yourself on what options are available down the road if you or someone you care about needs help, and what will that cost (that’s what we’ll cover next week)? Because without that understanding, it's hard for you to plan. Examples include in-home care, community and assisted living, skilled nursing or nursing home care.

We refer our clients to the Genworth Cost of Care Survey to get a baseline of costs. You can access the Survey here. 

Who pays for long-term care expenses? Most people think that Medicare will cover assistance, caregivers, and retirement communities. And I'm the bearer of bad news, but I'm here to let you know that Medicare does not cover the expenses that I'll be talking about. I think the easiest way to try to remember is to think of because Medicare is really a health insurance. Medicare really mimics and follows that. It pays for your healthcare needs only. It doesn't pay for your long-term care needs. There are a few exceptions for that (we cover that later). But in general, the care that you may need someday is a private pay, out of pocket expense. 

One exception to that is if you have long-term care insurance. Long-term care insurance pays for the care referenced earlier, and that we'll review about next week. Another homework assignment: if you have long-term care insurance, review your policy with your financial advisor to remind yourself what is covered by your policy. It usually has a daily amount and then that daily amount kind of equals a monthly amount and then you've usually selected several years of coverage. 

If you're helping your parents, you'll also want to find out if they have long term care insurance and what does that policy look like? Just having that knowledge will bring a lot of peace of mind if and when you need assistance.

Time to begin planning and better understanding the options? We have the knowledge and expertise to help guide your journey. Click here to schedule a free, get-acquainted call with one of our Certified Care Managers.

Additional Reading

• Paying for care at home 
• 3 Questions You Should Ask About Long-Term Care Planning 
• Navigating Long-Term Care Options (in greater Seattle Area) Part I 
• Navigating Long-Term Care Options (in greater Seattle Area) Part 2 

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