With Greg Thomas:  10 Signs of Emotional Intelligence in Action.  Third in our series on Emotional Intelligence.  

See all three in this series:

10 Signs of Emotional Intelligence in Action

Example: During a tense situation, you take a deep breath and if stressed you suggest taking a brief pause to regroup your thoughts.

Example: When a coworker or spouse snaps at you, you think, "They're probably having a bad day," instead of feeling hurt or becoming angry.

Example: After snapping at someone, you apologize quickly and own that you acted improperly when upset.

Example: You realize you're getting irritated when others interrupt you, and you calmly address it. You patiently ask them to allow you to finish your thoughts without interruption.

Example: When your flight is canceled, you rebook calmly and make alternate plans instead of dwelling on the issue or taking your frustration out on others.

Example: After your business presentation or idea is rejected, you don't stew, but instead analyze the feedback and improve for the next opportunity.

Example: You notice a coworker is quieter than they usually are and ask, "Is everything okay?" You recognize when others are down or struggling.

Example: When a colleague shares a mistake they made, you respond, ”Do you understand what you did wrong? Was a lesson learned?” Upon their acknowledgment you reply, "Everyone messes up - how can I help you fix it?" You want to encourage mistakes to be openly discussed, not hidden.

Example: A family member or co-worker seems upset, and instead of “pushing” them to talk, you say "I'm here when you're ready." You respect their need to privately process their emotions.

Example: Instead of saying strongly, "This is wrong," you say, "This part could be improved by doing X or changing Y." You help them to perform better without demeaning them.