The best counsel skilled therapists give to those who want to help survivors of abuse: do no harm. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne start there—with what survivors themselves want us to know. They name what abuse and victimization actually feel like from the inside, distinguish between the two with care, and explore what God says about those who have been harmed by the power of another. They point to Jesus—the One who entered oppression to free the oppressed—and to the compassionate, clear, and comforting care that follows His example.

“Captivated by captives—Jesus entered into oppression to free the oppressed.” —Episode Anchor

In this episode:

• The difference between abuse and victimization—and why the distinction shapes how we respond
• What abuse and victimization feel like from the inside: the shame, the confusion, the physical weight, the ‘honeymoon cycle’ that keeps people stuck
• Pattie shares from her experience at a counseling center specializing in traumatized missionaries—and the counsel that shaped her care
• Guests share what it was like to name what was happening—and what helped them find their voice
• What the Bible says about victims, perpetrators, and the God who distinguishes between them
• Three movements of care: compassion, clarity, and comfort
• Why the moment of leaving an abusive situation is the most dangerous—and what caregivers need to know

Resources mentioned:

• Domestic Abuse — Darby Strickland — available wherever books are sold
• Innocence Lost: Rebuilding After Victimization — David Powlison — available wherever books are sold
• The Emotionally Destructive Marriage — Leslie Vernick — available at leslievernick.com and wherever books are sold
• On the Threshold of Hope — Diane Langberg — available wherever books are sold
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources
• Luke 4:18–19; Psalm 55:6–7; Psalm 56:8; Ezekiel 34:12, 22; Philippians 2:7–8; Hebrews 13:5 — biblegateway.com

If You Are in Danger

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. You do not have to figure this out alone—please reach out

If Someone You Know is in Danger

• If someone discloses active abuse or is in immediate danger: ask directly, ‘Are you safe right now?’ If there is immediate danger, call 911.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453

Abuse cases require professional and legal support alongside pastoral care. Connect with a pastor, licensed counselor, and where relevant, legal authorities. Do not carry this alone—and do not let others carry it alone.

For Further Support

If this episode surfaced wounds you have been carrying—whether recent or long ago—you are not alone. What was done to you was not your fault. Healing is possible, and it begins with speaking to someone safe. Consider reaching out to a trusted pastor, licensed counselor, or one of the resources above. Asking for help is not weakness. It is one of the bravest things a person can do.

Loneliness is one of the most widespread and least talked-about experiences of our time. Nearly a third of adults feel lonely at least once a week — and yet the shame of it keeps most people silent. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne name what loneliness actually feels like from the inside, welcome guests who share their own seasons of painful isolation, and explore what it looks like to walk alongside someone who feels invisible — without rushing toward solutions or pointing them to a program.

"No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends." — John 15:13

In this episode:

• The difference between aloneness, isolation, solitude, and loneliness — and why it matters
• Why loneliness is not a design flaw — and what God said before the Fall
• Pattie and Paige share personally from their own experiences of loneliness
• Guests share what it felt like to be in a lonely season — and what helped
• What it looks like to show up for someone who is lonely without trying to fix it

Resources mentioned:

• Tori Comes Out of Her Shell: When You Are Lonely — Jayne V. Clark — available wherever books are sold
• The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship — Jonathan Holmes — available wherever books are sold
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources
• Genesis 2:18; John 15:13; John 11:35; Psalm 34:18 — biblegateway.com

For further support: If this episode surfaced a loneliness you've been carrying alone, you don't have to keep carrying it that way. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor. Asking for connection is not weakness — it is wisdom.

Share With Us: If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

Almost everyone is navigating at least one hard relationship. But not every hard relationship is the same — and knowing the difference changes everything. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne reframe the conversation from boundaries to wise love, welcome a guest who shares their personal journey through a difficult relationship, and explore what it looks like to walk alongside someone who is exhausted, confused, and unsure whether they are the problem.

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters." — Romans 12:9–10

In this episode:

• The difference between a disappointing, difficult, and destructive relationship, and why the distinction matters
• What it feels like from the inside — the exhaustion, the shame, the spiritual confusion
• Pattie and Paige share personally from their own experiences of unhealthy relationships
• A guest opens up about what wise love required of them — and what it cost
• How to walk alongside someone in a hard relationship without handing them a formula

Resources mentioned:

• Emotionally Destructive Relationships — Leslie Vernick — available wherever books are sold
• When People Are Big and God Is Small — Edward T. Welch — available wherever books are sold
• Relationships: A Mess Worth Making — Timothy Lane & Paul David Tripp — available wherever books are sold
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources
• Romans 12:9–10; John 2:24–25; John 13:1–17 — biblegateway.com

For further support: If you are in a relationship where there is physical danger, do not walk away from this alone. Reach out for help today.

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• Text START to 88788
• If there is immediate danger, call 911

Share With Us: If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

Anger is not what we are — it is a language of the heart. And conflict is the ground anger grows in. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne get honest about their own experiences with anger, welcome a guest who shares their personal story, and explore what it looks like to walk alongside someone locked in conflict — without rushing to fix, without taking sides, and without looking away.

"Be angry and do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger, and don't give the devil an opportunity." — Ephesians 4:26–27

In this episode:

• What anger actually feels like: the hot side, the cold side, and the confused middle
• Why anger itself is not a sin, but how the Fall corrupts it into something destructive
• Pattie and Paige share personally from their own experiences of anger and conflict
• A guest shares their story of walking through conflict and what shifted
• Practical ways to walk alongside someone in anger without being swept into it

Resources mentioned:

• Good and Angry — David Powlison — available wherever books are sold
• Resolving Everyday Conflicts — Ken Sande — available wherever books are sold
• CCEF Podcast: "Anger" — Ed Welch and Myriam Hertzog — ccef.org/podcast
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources
• Ephesians 4:26–27; Exodus 34:6; Titus 3:3–5; Psalm 4 — biblegateway.com

For further support: If conflict or anger is causing real harm in your relationships, you don't have to navigate it alone. Consider reaching out to a trusted pastor, counselor, or friend. If anger has become dangerous — involving threats or violence — please contact appropriate authorities or a licensed counselor immediately.

Share With Us: If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

Grief is not a problem to be solved but an honest journey; a human response to love and loss — and it matters deeply to God. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne share from their own experiences of grief, welcome guests who open up about profound loss, and explore what it looks like to stay with someone who is mourning — without minimizing, without rushing, and without looking away.

"Jesus wept." — John 11:35

In this episode:

• What grief actually feels like — including the unwitnessed losses others don't always name
• Pattie and Paige share personally from their own stories of loss
• Guests share their experience of profound grief and what helped them carry it
• Why lament is one of the most profound expressions of faith — not a failure of it
• Practical ways to show up for someone in grief long after others have moved on

Resources mentioned:

• A Grief Observed — C.S. Lewis — available wherever books are sold
• A Prayer in the Night — Tish Harrison Warren — available wherever books are sold
• Grief: Finding Hope Again — Paul David Tripp — available wherever books are sold
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources
• Psalm 22; Psalm 56:8; Psalm 88; John 11:35; Romans 8:18–26; Revelation 21:4; 1 Thessalonians 4:13 —biblegateway.com

For Further Support:

If this episode surfaced grief you've been carrying alone — old or new, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, pastor, or licensed counselor. Walking with someone through grief is not a handoff. Getting support is not a failure of faith.

Share With Us:

If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

A note before you listen: this episode covers depression and suicidal ideation honestly and directly. If you are in a vulnerable place, please listen with someone you trust nearby.

Depression is not merely sadness. It is something darker and more stubborn — a fierce darkness that touches the body, the mind, relationships, and the soul. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne name what depression actually feels like from the inside, welcome a guest who shares their own story of walking through it, and explore what it looks like to stay with someone in the darkness — without panic, without platitudes, and without looking away.

"Into the fierce darkness of depression comes the piercing light of the world."

In this episode:

• What depression actually feels like — and why it is not a thinking problem or a faith problem
• What Scripture shows us about depression through the lives of Moses, Elijah, David, and Jesus
• A guest shares their personal story of depression and what helped them carry it
• How to walk alongside someone in depression — including how to ask directly about suicidal thoughts
• Practical guidance on what to do if someone you love is in crisis

Resources mentioned:

• Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness — Edward T. Welch — available wherever books are sold
• Spurgeon's Sorrows — Zack Eswine — available wherever books are sold
• Descriptions and Prescriptions: A Biblical Perspective on Diagnosis and Medications — Mike Emlet — available wherever books are sold
• “Is Suicide an Unforgivable Sin?” –Derek Thomas, Ligonier Ministries, https://learn.ligonier.org/qas/is-suicide-an-unforgiveable-sin
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources
• Psalm 22; Psalm 31; Psalm 88; Matthew 26:36–46 — biblegateway.com

If you or someone you love is in crisis:

Asking about suicide does not plant the idea — it is an act of love. If someone you know is in danger, do not walk away.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988 (save this number in your phone)
• Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741 (mental health crisis support)
• If there is immediate danger, call 911 and stay with them until help arrives

Share With Us:

If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

Guilt says I did something wrong. Shame says I am something wrong. They feel different, work differently, and need to be heard differently — and both are far more common than we talk about. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne get personal about what guilt and shame have felt like in their own lives, welcome a guest who shares their own story, and explore what it looks like to walk alongside someone carrying weight they haven't been able to say out loud — to anyone.

"Those who look to him are radiant with joy; their faces will never be ashamed." — Psalm 34:5

In this episode:

• The difference between guilt and shame — and why it matters
• Pattie and Paige share honestly from their own experiences of both
• A guest opens up about carrying guilt and shame and what shifted
• What Scripture says about God's movement toward the guilty and ashamed
• How to walk alongside someone in either place without trying to fix or minimize

Resources mentioned:

• Shame Interrupted — Edward T. Welch — available wherever books are sold
• I Just Can't Forgive Myself — Robert D. Jones (booklet) — ccef.org
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets and additional resources.
• Psalm 34:4–5; Romans 5:8; Isaiah 30:15; Luke 15; John 13:1–17; Ephesians 4:15–16 — biblegateway.com

For further support:

If this episode stirred something you've been carrying alone, you don't have to keep carrying it that way. Consider reaching out to a trusted pastor, counselor, or friend. Getting help is not a failure of faith.

Share With Us:

• If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

Fear and anxiety are not necessarily signs of weak faith — they are often honest responses to living in a world that is uncertain and out of our control. In this episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne get honest about their own experiences with anxiety, welcome a guest who shares their personal story, and explore what it looks like to walk alongside someone caught in fear's grip — without fixing, without rushing, and without shame.

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." — Psalm 94:19

In this episode:

• What fear and anxiety actually feel like — and why they're not the same thing
• Pattie and Paige share from their own experiences of anxiety
• A guest shares their personal story of living with anxiety and what helped
• What God says to the anxious — and why it's not "just stop"
• Practical ways to walk alongside someone in fear without trying to fix them

Resources mentioned:

• The Anxiety Opportunity: How Worry Is the Doorway to Your Best Self by Curtis Change — available wherever books are sold
• Running Scared: Fear, Anxiety and the God who Cares by Edward T. Welch — available wherever books are sold
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets for additional resources
• Philippians 4:5–6; Psalm 94:18–19; Psalm 145:18; Matthew 6:25–34; Philippians 4:19; Mark 14:32–36 (Garden of Gethsemane) — biblegateway.com

For further support:

If you are suffering from fear or anxiety, you don't have to carry it alone. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, pastor, licensed counselor and/or physician. If anxiety is severe or persistent, widening the circle of care is not a failure of faith — it's wisdom.

Share With Us:

If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.

No one escapes suffering — and, yet, if we are honest, we are surprised when it happens to us. In this opening episode, Pattie Krohn and Paige Payne share from their own broken places: a child's devastating diagnosis, years of recurrent pregnancy loss, and the long, dark seasons that followed. They explore what it means to receive care in the middle of real pain, what it looks like to offer it to others, and why showing up — without answers, without fixing — is itself a form of holy work.

"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18

In this episode:

• Pattie and Paige share personally from their own experiences of suffering
• What helped most — and what didn't — when others walked alongside them
• Practical ways to show up for someone in pain when you don't know what to say
• How God meets us in broken places — and uses our suffering to shape us for others

Resources mentioned:

• Sermon: “The Birth and Death of Suffering,” Tyler Staton, Bridgetown Church, Portland https://vimeo.com/685974243
• Article: “Exalting Pain? Ignoring Pain? What Do We Do with Suffering?” Edward T. Welch https://www.ccef.org/jbc-article/exalting-pain-ignoring-pain-what-do-we-do-with-suffering/
• God’s Grace in Your Suffering by David Powlison — available wherever books are sold
• Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller — available wherever books are sold
• Suffering and the Heart of God, Diane Langberg — available wherever books are sold
• 3Crosses Church Care Page & Care Sheets for additional resources.
• Psalm 34:18; Psalm 46; Job 19:25; 2 Corinthians 1:3–4; Romans 8:26 — biblegateway.com

Share With Us:

• If this episode resonated, share it with someone and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more people find the show.