here it is, as promised. i'm sorry and/or you're welcome.

What's this? Can it be? A new episode of We Need to Talk About Kevin? In which we share our long-awaited takes on that He-Man cartoon that everyone stopped caring about several weeks ago? Featuring who else but our favorite bona fide children's entertainment aficionado Kurt Schiller??

Yes, that's right, the wait is finally over. The official, definitive WNTTAK review of a cartoon that some people were mad about for a day or two and then completely forgot nearly two months ago, is here at last! And it's a good episode, because Kurt is on it!

Should I link to all of Kurt's stuff? You guys know Kurt, Blood Knife. Parents Just Don't Understand. Loving husband and father and an all-around superb guy! It's Kurt!!

Musician/writer Ryan Torgeson joins us to discuss a comic "co-written" by Kevin, which apparently means that Kevin pretty much didn't write it at all. It's very obvious that he had almost nothing to do with this one, and we all thought it was okay. Anyway, check out Ryan's stuff!

His twitter: https://twitter.com/molecularlioneI

His article for Blood Knife: https://bloodknife.com/cosmic-sexuality-stuart-gordon/

And his band, Paintwork: https://paintworkmusic.bandcamp.com/album/angles-planes

[CW: sexual assault]

Jesus Christ. I don't even know where to begin with this one. This comic is very possibly the worst thing that Kevin Smith has ever done. A deeply sexist, cynical, ugly piece of exploitation. Kevin had an opportunity to make a Spider-Man comic, and instead of aiming for a fun and breezy little adventure, he had to go and make it all about rape. Just awful. What a nasty little man. We hate his fucking guts.

The name of the guy that Trevor couldn't remember is Bob Hawk.

Niel's links:

https://twitter.com/fuckinalpamare

https://spalltalk.blogspot.com

#KevAnon

We recorded this like a week ago and I already barely remember what the comic was about. I know there were multiple cunnilingus scenes but that's about it. I'm pretty sure we all agreed that it wasn't as bad as the other Kevin comics we've read but still pretty bad. Trevor's old pal PJ joins us on this one to lend share of his vast Green Arrow expertise.

PJ is on Twitter at https://twitter.com/proctorjsemhaus. He says he doesn't want followers, but you can reach him there if you need to contact him for some reason.

It's Comic Book Month on We Need to Talk About Kevin! We've assigned ourselves the grim task of reading all of Kevin Smith's nauseatingly bad runs on superhero comics. To kick things off, we're discussing Kevin's first embarrassing foray into the comics medium with our friend, returning guest Chris Woodward! It's called DAREDEVIL: GUARDIAN DEVIL and I'm not even going to try to describe in pithy terms how shitty it is. I'm getting mad all over again just thinking about it now. It sucks so much!

Chris is the co-host of the children's media podcast Parents Just Don't Understand, which you can find at https://soundcloud.com/parentspodcast/ or on your podcast-listening app! He's written fine articles for Blood Knife such as this one: https://bloodknife.com/saint-maud-review/ and you can follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/cww_0

I forget how to write these episode descriptions. Look, Jesse Farrar aka Bronze Hammer, the author of that classic tweet about the wriggling jam, is on our podcast, to talk about a stupid Die Hard movie that Kevin is in! And it's a pretty good episode I think! I'm very tired.

In 2005, at the height of Kevin Smith's devastating power, he hijacked a Canadian cultural institution and used it to live out a twisted personal fantasy in which he effortlessly seduces a girl he used to watch on TV in the 80s, and also befriends a bunch of children in the process. This is the kind of shit they let Kevin get away with up in Canada. No wonder he's so obsessed with that place! Of course we had to bring in our Canadian friend Abdul Malik, host of the Off Court Podcast and part-time Degrassi expert, to help us sort out this psychosexual nightmare.

Follow Abdul on Twitter and listen to Off Court Pod:

https://twitter.com/socialistraptor

https://twitter.com/offcourtpod

https://www.abdulymalik.com/

Also please subscribe to our Patreon, buy a stupid shirt, etc:

https://www.patreon.com/wnttak

https://teespring.com/stores/wnttak-trash-merch

https://twitter.com/wnttakpod

Happy Valerientines Day! Just in time for the holiday, Valerie is joining our polycule to help us deliver a double dose of romance for all the lovers out there. On part one of this deluxe double episode, we have an intimate chat about the charming Jason Mewes/Paris Hilton romcom BOTTOMS UP. And on part two, now available exclusively on Patreon, we get up close and personal with the titillating details of Kevin Smith's storybook marriage. Sign up now at [edit: patreon.com/oddpodd] for double the steamy Valerientines content.

See Valerie's definitive rankings of the films of Robert Zemeckis at https://letterboxd.com/stealingvalerie/list/z-mode/ and follow https://twitter.com/myrnaacula for updates on her upcoming sketch show!

As BENUARY draws to a close, we take on the seminal Kevin-adjacent horror classic PHANTOMS, with a little help from genre fiction experts Karlo and Pete from Podside Picnic! Is Affleck truly "the bomb" in Phantoms, or is the only "bomb" here this damn movie (in the sense that it performed very poorly with critics and audiences alike!)?!

Here's all those links we promised you:

https://patreon.com/wnttak [edit: patreon.com/oddpodd]

https://teespring.com/stores/wnttak-trash-merch

https://patreon.com/PodsidePicnic

https://alineofink.com

https://twitter.com/kjy1066

https://twitter.com/PodsidePete

https://twitter.com/podsidep

https://twitter.com/trevorcumbo

https://twitter.com/wnttakpod [edit: twitter.com/the_odd_podd]

https://google.com

https://hbomax.com

Oh, and Trevor has a new article out on Blood Knife, so check that out too: https://bloodknife.com/in-defense-of-watto