I've noticed, particularly over the last year and mostly here online, a lack of interest in sharing my story/ my struggles/my learnings, or my growth. Essentially all the ways I fixed myself or everything I'm processing or feeling.
Looking back, I have become less opinionated over the last few years. Of course, I still have musings, thoughts, and considered ideas and opinions. Still, I no longer have the urge and the drive to share my views, participate in conversations, or get into arguments just to prove a point or show somebody another way.
I think the very core of this is ACCEPTANCE.
I simply accept that human to human, we are all different and have different thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It's not my place to push my opinion or my desire, or my way of thinking onto somebody else
These are all ways in which I've previously attempted to embody authority or be the "teacher" that I think you might need.
The irony isn't lost on me that I'm doing just that - sharing about "me", but stay with me. Let me unpack this with you.
As a guide/space holder and teacher, I know that one of the most potent ways I deliver my version of wisdom is through storytelling and sharing my embodied experiences and learnings.
However… truthfully…
1. It feels wobbly to share anything before I've moved through it and embodied the wisdom.
2. It feels condescending and void of humility to place myself above anyone else through the examples of my life, for example, "this was me, this is where I was, I did this, and now I'm an expert/better/healed." It feels false because I am ALWAYS expanding and contracting.
3. It feels disrespectful in some way - you are intelligent, heart-led humans, and who am I to perpetuate the idea that you aren't enough/do enough? You are discerning, and you know what you need.
Here's where it gets blurry for me and where there is discord.
I DO embody the essence of "teacher", "space holder", "guide" "Practitioner". And I love these Sacred Archetypes that feel deeply aligned.
I AM here to serve and to be a way shower of sorts
I LOVE being part of your world and your journey home to wholeness… I'm forever grateful when you say YES to the journey with me.
But I've come to understand that I am the vehicle for the teachings. I am not the teachings.
I am the conduit for the transmission and the downloads for when your soul is ready to receive and channel through me. I am not THE transmission or the downloads.
And whilst I will always be an open book and will share honestly, there has been an inner refinement and evolution that, for now, is asking me to let the teachings lead the way.
Do I have to endure extreme suffering and publicly unpack it to be considered a great, wise, authentic teacher? There was once a time I believed this. However, now I feel my soul has evolved a little further, deepened in humility, and embraced the truth that I am here to serve and support and that it isn't all about ME.
It's time to allow the wisdom to flow. It's not my job to temper it, try to sell it, convince anyone or prey on your pain points.
It's my job, arms and heart wide open, to say this is what I must share.
And if the resonance is there, I know we'll find our way towards each other.
In Claire's World
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