Working Daughter

Michelle Woodbrey is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer for 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors. She checks in to discuss how she is holding up currently during the pandemic as she now finds herself as a working mother while also homeschooling her daughter and unable to visit her aging parents. Michelle’s father needed extra care due to his Parkinson's Disease, but that is now off the table as both he and her mother stay at home in their senior living facility.

Key Takeaways:

[2:15] What's it like being a working daughter in the industry?

[3:35] There are six active cases at her father’s senior living facility. They are in lockdown and aren’t allowed to leave the house.

[5:15] It’s very hard right now because Michelle feels helpless and unable to help her parents.

[7:25] Michelle’s mother and father remember when polio was a problem. They understand the periods of scarcity because they’ve lived through it.

[9:15] Michelle’s father needs extra care because of his Parkinson's Disease and Michelle was trying to find ways to help alleviate the burden on her mom, but that’s all off the table now.

[12:40] The CDC recommends getting a 30-month supply in medication, but Michelle hasn’t been able to get this at all. On top of that, her insurance just won’t pay for it.

[15:50] Michelle’s daughter currently has unrestricted screen time because Michelle has too much on her plate. She wants to be present for her daughter, but can’t right now.

[18:35] This podcast is sponsored by Senior Link!

[19:55] What will change in senior living when we get to the other side of this?

[25:00] Michelle is hopeful for the future.

[30:45] The screening to get into a senior living facility will be harder. Before, you needed to have a physician's order form, but now they’re doing more screening to keep their community safe.

Mentioned in This Episode:

Workingdaughter.com

SeniorLink.com

2sisters-sla.com

Michelle Woodbrey

Katie Tardiff is passionate about helping individuals with complex needs live at home for as long as they can. Katie is a Gerontological Nursing Practitioner with over 14 years of experience providing clinical care. She is also the Vice President of Clinical Services for Seniorlink, where she leads efforts that result in the improved quality of life within caregiver homes. In this episode, she shares how caregivers can adapt to these trying times as everyone takes precautions towards limiting the spread of the Coronavirus.

Key Takeaways:
[1:45] What has Katie’s day-to-day been like since the COVID-19 outbreak?
[6:35] A large part of society is not aware of how much care is provided by family members. Caregivers are working 24/7 right now and are getting burned out.
[7:05] How is Katie helping caregivers with their self-care?
[11:05] A lot of caregivers are cutting back services to limit the exposure of the virus into their home. What are some good strategies they can use to better the quality of care?
[14:45] So many caregivers are thrust into caregiving and have no formal caregiving skills. This is why services like Seniorlink are needed more than ever right now.
[15:20] A word from our sponsor, Seniorlink.
[16:40] What are some of the best ways to use Seniorlink?
[19:55] What should caregivers do if the person they’re caring for falls?
[21:55] Despite these uncertain times, seek emergency services if you need them.
[25:10] Be prepared in the event of an emergency. Don’t let surprises get the best of you.
[27:40] How can caregivers better manage their parent's anxiety?
[30:15] Some caregivers feel like they’re failing on all fronts right now, what advice does Katie have for them?
[33:18] Integrate self-care into your life. Do whatever you need to do (in a healthy way) to get through the day.

Mentioned in This Episode:
Workingdaughter.com
13 Mantras for Working Daughters 
Seniorlink.com

Ellen Minor is frightened that her elderly father who lives with her will fall and she will not be able to have paramedics come and help him up. She is being what her father thinks is ‘too bossy’ but that’s because she cannot take any risks in having him become infected with coronavirus. Amy Carrier also has an aging parent in her home. She has to decide whether or not to bring in outside help. If she doesn’t, then she does not see a realistic way to care for her mother and get her job done. It’s a difficult choice because Amy understands the risks involved, but if she can’t work, then she cannot support her mother.

Veronica Karwoski has been caring for her mother remotely. She has felt a lot of guilt for not being able to bring her mother into her home, but her house is not set up for the extra care her mother would need. They live in the same city, but Veronica still has to exercise caution during the pandemic. Finally, Karen Purze also cares for a parent remotely. Her mother is in a local nursing facility that is not allowing any visitors at this time. Karen desperately wanted to be able to say goodbye to her mother before the lockdown happened and is now trying to navigate this new environment we’re in.

Key Takeaways:

[2:20] We first hear Ellen Minor’s story, who is a teacher.

[5:35] Ellen has been taking care of her father for five years and now she is working from home full-time. How has she been managing everything?

[7:30] Ellen’s biggest fear right now is having him go to the hospital.

[10:15] Her dad thinks she’s too bossy. Ellen is so stern because the consequences right now are just too dire and she doesn’t want to risk anything.

[10:35] Next, we hear about Amy Carrier’s story. She is a foundation director with a long-distance spouse.

[15:00] Amy is worried that the additional support she is getting will expose her mother to the virus.

[16:30] Working daughters are having to make uncomfortable sacrifices between getting the care needed vs. exposing their parents to the virus.

[17:15] This podcast is sponsored by Seniorlink.com.

[18:55] Veronica Karwaski shares her story on how she’s caring for her mother remotely.

[20:30] Veronica feels very guilty that her mother couldn’t come and stay with her. Her apartment is not set up correctly to help her.

[23:15] We hear Karen Purze’s story on how she’s caring for her mother remotely.

[25:35] Karen was upset because the nursing facility was not well equipped with notifying family members.

[29:25] Karen hopes more people will understand what it’s like to be a caregiver because of this pandemic and there will be more support in the future. Isolation is not a new thing for caregivers.

Mentioned in This Episode:

Workingdaughter.com

Seniorlink.com

Harvard Business Review: Balancing Work and Elder Care Through the Coronavirus Crisis

Karen Purze

Dr. Bill Haley is a Professor at the School of Aging Studies at the University of South Florida. With his collaborative work with Dr. David Roth of Johns Hopkins University, they have discovered some new things about caregivers that might surprise you. In this week’s episode, Dr. Haley breaks down their research and underlines some of the positive results of caregiving.

Key Takeaways:

[2:35] Many caregivers experience positives and negatives simultaneously in their caregiving journey.

[6:00] After interviewing/tracking 30,000+ people, Dr. Haley has discovered that under 20% of the caregivers in that people group are highly strained and stressed.

[8:10] Dr. Haley breaks down how the study is conducted and their 30,000+ random population sample size.

[10:55] In Dr. Haley’s sample size, he is looking at all types of people, including caregivers, and he is able to see that not everyone is reaching out for help and not everyone is stressed/depressed about their caregiving situation.

[11:35] People generally think of caregiving as overwhelming, but Dr. Haley has discovered some surprising results about caregivers.

[13:30] How does someone measure lower or higher mortality?

[16:45] Caregiving is a very normal thing for people to do.

[18:00] What are some of the positive aspects of caregiving?

[21:00] Dr. Haley also answers some criticism/concerns he has received from caregiver advocacy groups.

Mentioned in This Episode:

Dr. William Haley Faculty Bio

Dr. David Roth Faculty Bio

The Dr. Steven Zarit Burden Scale

Higher mortality risk in caregiving -1999 paper

Lower mortality risk in caregiving - 2015 paper

Order the Working Daughter book

Anne Ellet, with Memory Care Support,  is a Nurse Practitioner that specializes in Dementia Care. She has seen a wide variety of care facilities that do not allow for patients to express their individual selves and their quality of health is reduced because of it. Simple things like allowing a person to go outside to eat can make a big difference in their quality of life, yet facilities are too afraid to take chances. Ann describes her work with memory care and how we can develop better systems to let those who suffer from dementia prosper in their living environment.

Key Takeaways:

[1:15] What is memory care?

[5:35] Unfortunately, it’s become acceptable for patients to sit in wheelchairs inside the house all day because it means they won’t get hurt. However, their quality of life suffers greatly.

[9:40] People fall inside the house all the time, that shouldn’t be the reason why you limit everybody from going outside.

[13:00] The elderly who suffer from dementia are very powerless people and it’s become the standard of care to lock them away and isolate them.

[15:15] There is also a lot of shame and embarrassment for the children when it comes to taking a parent outside with dementia.

[19:20] Find a support group, whether in person or online, to help you through the tough days.

[21:05] How do you honor the person as they go through dementia?

[24:25] What are the costs of living in a greenhouse home?

[27:10] Assisted living facilities spend money on extravagant things that even the residents aren’t allowed to use..yet they’re the ones paying for it. What’s the point of that?

[30:15] People who are suffering from dementia are also denied medical treatments they should have due to doctor biases.

[32:30] How can more people have access to better memory care?

[38:25] Where is the right balance between keeping your parent safe and keeping them well stimulated?

Mentioned in This Episode:

Memory Care Support, LLC

The Working Daughter book

Helen Adeosun is the Co-Founder and CEO of CareAcademy, a training center that provides in-home caregivers the education they need to provide excellent care.  On today’s episode, Helen discusses where the culture of caregiving is headed and how adult children can better care for their aging parents as they begin to need extra help.

Key Takeaways:

[1:00] How did Helen get started in care?

[3:45] There is a lot of gray area in the caregiving world.

[9:45] Child care is often anticipated and planned for. Elderly care hasn’t been planned and thought through as much.

[13:20] There’s a lot of choices for adult care and the options can overwhelm family members.

[15:35] Helen breaks down some of the options available to family members.

[22:00] Family caregivers feel so guilty for not doing enough, but don’t beat yourself up! There is no standard system in place for you to follow.

[25:15] Why is aging at home the best?

[33:50] What kinds of facilities does Helen look for in elderly care?

[35:15] What’s Helen’s vision for the future?

[40:45] There is a shortage of professional caregivers. Helen explains a bit more about what’s happening in the industry.

[46:55] When politics are local and personal, people care much more and pay attention!

Mentioned in This Episode:

Careacademy.com

Helen on LinkedIn

Joinpapa.com

Ilana Berger works for an organization called Hand in Hand and its mission is to provide fair wages and benefits to domestic workers who help out in your home. If you hire a domestic worker, even if it is to care for your aging parents or your young children, you are an employer! This means you have the ability to provide support and care to the people who helped you the most! Find out on this week’s episode, how you can help make a difference!

Key Takeaways:

[1:10] How did Hand in Hand get started?

[3:25] Why are domestic workers treated so poorly?

[5:45] Domestic workers have been treated like slaves in this modern world and the Domestic Employers Alliance aims to bring these workers a voice and give them the rights they deserve.

[7:00] People are starting to wake up and notice the underlying racism that goes on in this country and they’re not happy about it, and are actively fighting against it.

[8:50] All of us need support.

[10:50] People are not getting fairly compensated for those who do the most important job; care for our family members.

[11:00] How can we be there for our caregivers?

[15:00] It’s important for organizations like Hand in Hand to support other unions in the care sector to fight for quality care at an affordable price.

[19:15] There are so many benefits to attracting more people into the caregiving field that will help everybody, especially when we hit an aging boom.

[23:15] If you hire domestic help, you are an employer! This means you can make a difference too!

[27:15] On the Fair Care Pledge website, it outlines several things you can do to be a good employer today and how you can help these amazing workers!

[29:15] It’s never too late to start!

[32:00] Here are some of the ways you can support your caregivers.

Mentioned in This Episode:

Domesticemployers.org

Caringacross.org

Faircarepledge.com

Myalia.org

Adrienne M. Penta is a Managing Director, as well as the executive director of the Brown Brothers Harriman Center for Women & Wealth at Brown Brothers Harriman. As more women are contributing substantially to the workforce, that also means that there is a lot more stress for them to bear when a loved one gets sick and they’re faced with the decision to quit their job to be a full-time caregiver. On this week’s show, Adrienne shares what a financial advisor can do for you during this emotional time and how they can set you and your family up for success.

Key Takeaways:

[1:15] What is the Center for Women & Wealth about?

[2:45] Women are the primary breadwinners in 40% of all US households and they’re starting companies at 1.5x the national average.

[3:15] 44% of women do not have a financial advisor and 51% of high net worth women say that their advisors don’t understand them.

[4:15] The average caregiver is a woman in her late 40s and she has a parent over the age of 65 and at least one child under the age of 18. They are getting squeezed.

[5:15] How does caregiving affect the work that Adrienne does for women?

[5:40] 18% of professional women who take 3 or more years off on average lose 18% of their former earning power, and that percentage can increase to 40%.

[9:55] Adrienne emphasizes the importance of taking some time off, whether it be for a few days or for a week, to discuss with experts on what to do next and how to accommodate your new responsibilities during a very emotional time in your life. You need a clear head.

[12:00] Caregivers don’t have advisors or professional support. So, if you’re going to quit your job, at least get yourself some financial support.

[13:35] Adrienne talks about the retirement gap for women.

[15:25] Women have to save 18% of their salaries and men only have to save about 10%.

[18:40] What should women be aware of as they plan and build their wealth?

[20:40] 61% of millennial women say they leave the investing decisions to their husbands.

[22:25] The whole family needs to be at the table when it comes to making financial decisions about the family’s future.

Mentioned in This Episode:

Bbh.com

Adrienne on LinkedIn

Chris MacLellan was with his partner Richard for 11 years before Richard passed away from esophagus cancer. Richard was originally given only 3-4 months to live, but ended up surpassing that and living for three more years. Chris shares his experience and story about what it was like caring for his partner and why the quality of healthcare may be different for a hetrosexual couple. Theirs is a love story.

Key Takeaways:

[0:55] Chris’s partner, Richard, was diagnosed with esophagus cancer.

[4:00] Chris made a conscious decision to not tell Richard he only had 3-4 months to live.

[10:20] It’s important to share each other’s caregiving story, no matter how painful it might be. Your story helps others.

[12:15] When Chris and Richard were together, marriage equality was not recognized. So Chris had to take lawyer notes around with him to make sure he was getting the right treatment.

[13:25] Unfortunately, Chris did experience discrimination in patient care.

[18:40] After Richard passed, Chris made a lot of mistakes in an attempt to heal.

[20:45] Chris and Richard had a big fight six weeks before he passed. Fights happen to everybody, even when you’re caregiving.

[22:45] Quality care for LGBT adults over the age of 50 lags behind straight adults in the same age range. Why is that?

[26:35] We should all be able to care for our loved one with ease no matter our sexual orientation.

[30:25] Chris is just one of millions of examples out there of people who have experienced hardship with the caregiving process. Share your story.

[30:55] What did Chris wish he learned sooner about the process?

[34:05] It was the greatest experience of Chris’s life being able to take care of Richard.

Mentioned in This Episode:

TheWholeCareNetwork.com

Sun-Sentinel: A new beginning: Navigating the challenges of moving on

UW study finds LGBTQ older adults in Seattle/King County face higher health risks

The Working Daughter book

Joseph Fuller is a Professor of Management Practice in General Management at Harvard Business School and he co-leads one of the school’s initiatives, Managing the Future of Work. He is the co-author of a recent Harvard study that tackles how and why employers should invest in a culture of care. On today’s episode, Dr. Fuller explains how a care culture is directly related to the future of work, and what companies need to be aware of when providing benefits to their employees.

Key Takeaways:

[1:30] How should people think about ‘the future of work’?

[3:25] Is the workforce setup accordingly to sustain a higher influx of qualified women professionals?

[4:55] How did the future of work-study transition into the caregiving topic?

[14:00] The benefits that are often offered at companies aren’t always the benefits that employees want or need.

[17:20] Men are very reluctant to use company benefits because they don’t want to be seen as lazy.

[22:00] Companies don’t really want to know how many of their work staff is caring for an elder or a loved one with a disability. It comes down to it being a legal issue.

[30:00] What is the likeliness of an employee leaving work voluntarily because they weren’t able to manage work and life?

[34:55] It boils down to company culture where employees feel comfortable asking for flexible hours or asking to work at home a couple days a week.

[39:10] What is Dr. Fuller hopeful for in the future?

Mentioned in This Episode:

The Caring Company: How Employers Can Cut Costs And Boost Productivity By Helping Employees Manage Caregiving Needs

The Working Daughter book