Worthless Clowns

Ali loses the respect of her roommates after inviting a stray cat in, and sending too many Teletubbies gifs. Brittany’s noise band friend cannot bring himself to vomit on stage. A man tries to impress his job interviewers in the worst way. This week’s RAT NEWS: rats who vape, rats used as insulation, and sacrifices of rats in war. Memories of Dr Kwan PhD, imaginary horses, and drooling for an audience.

Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ali gets a black eye for her loud outfit, and loses her senior year talent show to a man playing Thrift Shop on the trombone. Brittany’s friend is convinced his girlfriend is cheating on him with a man that’s exactly like him. A woman has to take a mental health day after learning where chocolate milk really comes from. Memories of hating clarinets, men asking where North is, and the Apparently Kid.

Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ali’s dad takes it upon himself to protect the neighborhood from crime and steal his daughter’s jokes. Brittany’s indulging in sadness and shit talking herself for her womanhood. An outstanding hamster death story from a friend of the pod!! A boss forces his employee to show him his “droppings”. Memories of dogs in cones, Uncle Kracker, and moms in Facebook comments. 

Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

We’re joined by special guest Andrea Allan (Respectfully pod)!! Andrea ask her crush to prom, gets rejected, then resorts to infiltrating his unconscious. Brittany thinks Comic-Con is Ramadan. Ali finally orders a wallet chain, and cries to her mom about smoking weed. Memories of makeshift bongs, rehearsing conversations with boys, and failing to get into a threesome. 

Follow Andrea @andreacomedy69, and check out her podcast, “Respectfully” with co-host and friend of the pod, Lizzy Cassidy! 

Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets stuck in her lucid dreams, and gets scolded by a very disappointed man. Ali’s camera roll is full of dog pictures but not the kind you’d expect. This week, we read listener emails!: venmo scamming, getting directed from the pod to a help hotline, dogs discovering sex toys, and crazy run ins with ex high school teachers. Memories of Bush vs Gore, Phoenix sucking, and DOH violations. Plus, RAT NEWS! 

Get tickets to Brittany’s special taping Dec 3rd at The Gutter (Williamsburg) 8pm and 10pm: https://ambushspecialtaping.eventbrite.com

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany witnesses New York’s annual bird conference, and is super disappointed by a log simulation. Ali’s aunt’s dog murders an entire family of Guinea pigs. A woman severely misinterprets a compliment during a butt hair removal procedure. Memories of girl push ups, flying chairs, and deathclock.com

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany’s convinced her head is filled with ear wigs. Ali learns to love her new vape, and accidentally goes extremist on the store attendant. TOP 10 MOST INTENSE HAMSTER DEATHS OF ALL TIME. Memories of learning how to wiggle your ears, PT Cruisers, and cute defective pets. 

GET TICKETS TO OUR SHOW THIS WEEK! 

MOTORCYCLE HORSE, Oct 10th 9pm at QED (Astoria), tickets at QEDastoria.com Ali, Brittany do half hours of standup, hosted by Ashlynn Salzano. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

We accidentally plagiarize the Discovery Channel for 30 full minutes, and write a commercial for Ozempic. Brittany’s stuck in the gift cycle of abuse, and has a teen bird in her apartment. Ali thinks she’ll die washing her face in the shower, and meets a man who’s obsessed with IDs. A boyfriend is frustrated at his girlfriend’s continuous prank. Memories of puking sea cucumbers, otters in loving relationships, and an aggressive horse. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Special guest Courtney Maginnis (Comedy Central) joins us!! Courtney sh*ts her American Apparel leggings, more than once. Brittany gets accused of stealing spoons,  Ali’s mom slams chicken soup into the toilet bowl, and a man loses his valuable collection of McChickens. Memories of losing cars, chaotic Thanksgivings, and imaginary gas leaks. 

Follow Courtney @courtmaginnis, her pod @iloveyoubutyourmusicsucks, and watch out for her special coming out soon!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets punched in the face by an automatic umbrella, can’t comprehend Wordle, and gets scammed BIG TIME. Ali gets reprimanded for listening to loud music by an old man she dated. Super religious parents are disappointed in their teens for making fake money off strippers in Grand Theft Auto. Memories of stupid goats, the Marx Brothers, and bad forms. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay