Brittany goes to Monster Jam, and is beefing up to catch a predator. Ali gets scammed by two plumbers who are scared of her dog. A man eats 116 eggs and can no longer experience joy. Memories of nu metal poses, battle bots, and Peanut Butter and the Apple Jams Gang.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Mike Brown (Comedy Central, PBS) is our special guest this week! Mike regrets begging for love, and eats his Snickers different. Ali riffs with her gynecologist and tests her boyfriend’s pap smear knowledge. Brittany keeps hiding body parts in her dreams. Memories of the Pringle crunch, crushing on Ryan Gosling, and men knowing nothing about their friends. 

Follow Mike @yomikebrown! 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali ceremoniously quits nicotine by clogging her toilet with her vape. Brittany puts her life in the hands of an ultrasound technician obsessed with numerology. A man drafts a novella about accidentally taking a dump on a tent. Memories of men lecturing women about WW1, exploding Gusher heads, and old cell phone tech . RAT NEWS: watch out! they’re popping bubbles and nesting in cars!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

We’re getting this friendship notarized!!! Brittany’s on the train getting flashed secret messages from a strange man, and getting rejected by the fire department for a cat rescue. Ali accidentally gets a goth Karen haircut, and talks to a man she respects about Phish. A man accidentally invites all the neighborhood cats to his rave. Memories of Birthday Guy #2, hotdog and hamburger style, and going to court as friends. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Carmen Lagala (Colbert, Don’t Tell) joins us! Carmen’s figuring out where she’s at on the Bristol stool chart, throwing up juice, and hitting on mascots. Ali cures her adult mono with Fun Dip and Jackass. Brittany tries way too hard to be accepted at Buffalo Exchange and Godfathers Pizza. Memories of public proposals, pledge of allegiance, and making-out hands.

Follow Carmen @carmstagrams, and check out her special “Sweet Batch” on YouTube. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali’s dad reprimands her for creating a straw-based religious stereotype. Brittany joins a terrorist group of boys from middle school math class. A man rips up his girlfriend’s hand-made blanket for attention. Memories of Nair, counting songs, and Pavlov’s gun (dog). Plus RAT NEWS: rat fights, rat shoes, and crime rats!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali spends xmas shooting cans with pellet guns, and gifting piss bottles. Brittany’s dad is “reborn” after watching Wicked, and Ali’s dad tries to connect by wearing an apron with a pig on it. A man spends 21 years of his life believing it’s normal to have a “poop knife”. Memories of Brittany’s nephew already knowing everything, rambling prayers, and amateur hand modeling. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Jake Silberman joins us!! Jake is flipping cop cars, comforting women on trains, and tracking dog shit into band class. Ali and Brittany finally grow out of their bad boy phase. Memories of the Evergreen Five, terrible exes, and crying in New York.

Follow Jake @thecomedianjake and check out his special “Live In Portland” on Youtube!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany walks on eggshells at a Tokyo cat cafe with 1000 rules. Ali defends the Fighting Irish and gets invited to a dog birthday party. A man criticizes his girlfriend’s cooking via powerpoint, and then is dumped via powerpoint. Memories of washing elephants, YouTube parties, and men who smirk. This week’s RAT NEWS: we find out what a rat king ship captain would look like. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

We accidentally manifest getting mugged by two teenagers, BIG TIME! Brittany falls in love with a game that lets her practice lying. Ali’s brother and boyfriend connect through songs about butts and piss. Memories of Toby Keith’s 911 song, protective siblings, and the Little Mermaid’s bra. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay