CONTENT WARNING: Extremely NSFW. Like more than usual.

This bonus episode of Written in the Cars contains graphic sexual descriptions of both car and humans. Listener discretion advised.

It was early morning when Ashton awoke to a 20 minute long audio file in her inbox. With absolutely no context, she listened to the recording, and was haunted by what she heard. We now present to you that audio file in all its glory.

Otherwise known as the bonus episode where Hannah reads an extremely explicit BTS and Lightning McQueen fanfiction.

Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

In this brief interlude between seasons, Paige, Ashton, and Hannah decide to spend a few moments discussing which cars are a smash and which cars are a pass.

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

In the season one finale of Written in the Cars, Ashton takes a rather large edible while Paige tries her hardest to just get a good episode out of her nonsensical ramblings. Meanwhile, some past guests make reappearances to tell us what they’re thankful for this thanksgiving. Happy holidays, Car Smashers!

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

All music in this episode is from epidemicsound.com

This week, Paige and Ashton take a much needed break from conspiracies and instead bring in a guest to try to write a Cars Jukebox Musical by using every song on Olivia Rodrigo’s debut album, Sour. We are currently looking for a producer who is willing to fund a production of it.

(Also, Paige’s WiFi goes out about halfway through this one, so the plot of her Cars Musical will be revealed in next weeks episode.)

Special guest: CM Bullock (See her perform here)

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

Paige and Ashton face their fears and discuss historical events that must have happened in the Cars universe, and are also lectured on tentacle porn. 

Discussions include Gerards scrapped pun segment, nuclear warfare, and human coexistence. 

Special Guest: Gerard Marquez (@Gerardfromoz)

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

Paige and Ashton have a heated discussion with a musician who seems to be questioning Ashton’s strong beliefs at every turn.

Discussions include car consciousness, artificial intelligence, Christmas elves, and the Star Wars Lego GameCube games.

Special guest: Michael Wingate (wingate.music)

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

Ashton and Paige bring in a microbiologist with a brave take on Car terrorism.

Discussions include Monster Trucks, tentacle bones, and Lightning McQueen's wiki feet score.

Special guest: Taylor Jones

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

Paige and Ashton sit in the backseat as they desperately try to understand the world of NASCAR as explained to them by an expert.

Discussions include Lightning McQueen costume tips,  grandma, and boat racing. 

Special guest: April Day

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

TW: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS A BRIEF MENTION OF CAR SUICIDE. 

This week, we travel back in time to Hannah’s first appearance on Written in the Cars, which was recorded months before the release of Cars: On the Road. Paige and Ashton are joined by an academic who has seen every single Owen Wilson film, and are presented with some interesting conspiracy theories from an undergraduate class. Discussions include the Elijah Wood prank interview, lobster biology, Owen Wilson’s hottest character, and Renesmee Theory.

 Special guest: Hannah Steele

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.

We're back to our regular programming, but this week Paige and Ashton are floored when they realize their guest might have solved Cars by accident and ruined their podcast career. Discussions include Transformer Theory, robot love, and mechanical evolution. 

Special guest: GM Bobby (@RPG_plays, @2000tales)

Content Warning: Written in the Cars is a podcast about the meaning of life and the darkness of humanity. Humans and their actions are examined through the mirror of the PCCU (Pixar's Cars Cinematic Universe). Discussions may include adult themes such as war, mental illness, sex, persecution, religion, etc.

Written in the Cars is hosted by Ashton Lorelle and Paige Turner.

For Cars updates and show notes, you can follow @carsconspiracy on twitter.

This episode featured the song "Your Dad's Red Truck" by Humble Hey and Mia Niles.