Hi. I'm Jennifer Woosley Sailor. I'm a licensed professional clinical counselor and the kid of a cop, and this is the podcast when the call hits home.

Hey, everyone. It's Ashlee Gethner.

I'm a licensed clinical social worker, and I'm also a child of a police officer. And welcome back. Welcome back. This podcast is again about kids of first responders, about our experience. We also wanna take our professionalism to talk a little bit about ways that we can help as families of first responders.

Yeah. So I think it's really important today. We wanted to share I know the first time we talked, we talked a little bit about what this podcast was gonna look like and things we wanna get into, but I think it's really important for us to start sharing our story a little bit with you guys, because, again, we really want this to be a community for children of first responders. And we hope we can, you know, recognize that there's a lot of similarities between us. And so it's important for us to show you guys too where we come from, how we grew up, and what we feel it was like for us. So

Yeah. So today is really about more of our experiences, but we also have some things for you guys towards the end. But I think it's important, you know, time is valuable that you get to know us a little bit as we start this podcast in the first couple episodes. So we have some questions, and we just wanna get to know each other, I think, a little bit more too Yeah. Absolutely. As the kids are first responders. So, Ashlee, we'll just kinda start with you, if you don't mind. Tell us a little bit about your childhood and what it was like for you growing up in a house of a first responder.

Such a loaded question. I'm so excited that we're doing this podcast because everyone's gonna hear it for a while now. Right? Each time, we're just gonna feed into more and more. But I do always like to start by saying that me and my dad are pretty much best friends. So, definitely, growing up, it was it was different. But as we come into adulthood you know, he was a parent as I was growing up. But as we got into adulthood, I really couldn't do this thing of life without him. So him and I are really, really close, and I think that's just important.

I like to say that before I go into my story because I would never want my dad or anyone to be like, oh my gosh. You know? He really is great. He did 29 years as a police officer. He's now retired. And I think you do recognize that you just you just grow up different. So growing up as a child of a first responder, what was it like for me? It was great. You know, there's amazing parts of it. There were some difficult parts of it.

And I think that one of the best things about growing up as a first responder's child is being so prideful. I remember just being so it's it's honestly a little bit of a weird feeling because at first you don't recognize.

Right?

Like, when you're a kid, you're so naive and like that. It's like, oh, here's my badge or take a picture with my vest on or, you know, and you're like, yes. But you you're you're used to it. You're like, yeah. Is it doesn't every kid take

a picture with their dad's, you know, vest and

stuff like that. So it's it's funny because you grow up at first being like, this is normal. Right. Like, this isn't this what everyone does? But it's very unique, and it's very something that you're prideful of once you start to recognize, oh, no. This is a profession that's that's different. Absolutely. So there was a lot of pride to it growing up. I remember being very excited when I was younger to go with him, learn from him, do ride alongs with him, just be exposed to it in any way.

And I think so at home, it was a little bit challenging because I mean, shift work is hard.

Absolutely. You

know, they're for first responders, it's not it's not the Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. Some of them have that luxury. Right? Some of them get to that place. They don't start in that place, but they get to that place.

To get to that place. Yeah.

Yeah. And so you're you're very much so dependent on that other parent a lot of the time, and I think that's an interesting aspect because as a child of a first responder, I feel like I had to learn, like, okay. This is how mom likes things. But when dad is home

Girl, you're getting into it. Yeah. Yeah.

When dad is home and when he's free, I have to kind of adjust myself to what he is looking for as

well. Yeah. It's It's interesting that you point that out. You know, I think I shared last time that I have gotten the honor to work with military members and their families, and that is a big cycle and deployment when a soldier leaves and the routines of the house when there's one parent and the soldier returning. And, you know, I think it's so interesting being a kid of a first responder because our experience is so much Like, there's some parallels, but such on, like, a daily, monthly basis. Like so I think a little bit of my experience growing up, and I love what you said. They're actually just about I mean, he is dad first. I think that, you know, I didn't have a police officer for a father.

I had a father who happened to be a police officer or first responder, and I think that has to be acknowledged and what my dad was like as a parent. And then you just get that spicy seasoning of being a first responder in the middle of it. And, yeah, I think shift work is a big part of that, you know, recognizing, like, is dad gonna be home for dinner tonight? Is he not? And then as I got a little bit older, my dad would work nights this month and workdays this month. So, like, every month, you're kinda starting over a new routine, and that is you know, it's fine. I'm adjusted. It's not a big deal, but it is something. Right? And what that pressure also holds sometimes for the parent that is at home trying to keep the routine a little bit more, I guess, regulated in terms of the, yeah, the structure of the school day, after school, you know, their job, that kinda hiccup. But you did a ride along with your dad? Oh, I did several ride alongs with

my dad. It was one of my

save those because

Yeah. Yeah. We

could yeah. Those are fun.

Those are sweet stories. Some good stories.

These are good. I mean, I have a really long story with my dad, but it's definitely, like, an accident.

I feel like we should keep them hanging on for these ones because there's some good stuff you can get into when you are a child of a first responder. Oh, and we will. Yeah. Well, my brain kind of when we're talking about shift work and we're talking about this kind of change, my brain goes to a little bit about holidays Mhmm. Because my dad worked so many of them, and we had to shift our days to, like Yeah. You know, make sure he got to be involved. So I remember at one point when he was finally on day shift, so his shift started at, like, 6 or something, we would wake up at super early, like, 5 AM to open the gifts from Santa. Oh.

Because we you know, my dad wanted to see us open our gifts from Santa. So we, like, shifted to make sure he got to do that. Right? Or, like, I was just a few Christmases ago now. So about a year ago, 2 years ago, we were all at my uncle's house, and now he's retired so it's amazing to be able to spend the holidays with him. We were watching old home videos, and he was there in his uniform. Aw. Because he was able to stop in Yeah. And see us at my grandma's house, like my grandparents' house, opening our gifts.

And you'd you don't think about that as well, which always makes me, now that we're on this journey, also think about, like, firefighter, children, and and because they don't really have that luxury as much, you know, being on shift. And so that'll be interesting for us to learn too.

Absolutely. And I think that that's important to keep in mind, and we definitely wanna keep in mind with that, especially also our dispatcher families and and, you know, their work and hours. And I know different places have different shifts. You know? And they can move within their career what their shifts look like for sure. Yeah. I do. It's funny you bring that up about holidays. Like, I remember my dad being in a lot of holidays, and I remember, you know, being older and kinda understanding the concept a little bit more of, like, oh, how was dad able to be, our holidays? And he just said, you know, the guys that didn't have kids yet usually, you know, were understanding and would help out and, you know, and then when they would get you know, you kinda pay it forward too.

So I think that that was a little bit why my dad was able to make it to those holidays some because, you know, he'd paid it for before my brother and I showed up. So Such a fair point.

Such a fair point. And I think too to learn from a first responder because inevitably

Mhmm.

All of them have missed 1, if not a lot more than one. Right? So And sometimes interesting.

Holidays. Sometimes it's the baseball game. Right? Or play or the show that's in the, like, middle of the week. You know, those kind of things are probably more prevalent because, you know, the holidays are kinda start out in the calendar and maybe the school play or the baseball game.

As a first responder's child now, did you ever feel some sort of way if you recognized your dad wasn't there?

I mean, I'm gonna give my dad some, like, gold stars kudos because there's not too much that I didn't feel like he was at. Yeah. Probably what he, like, missed a little bit more of was maybe, like, the family cookout or the you know, there wasn't necessarily a birthday party that I felt like he missed or maybe, you know, he liked me better than my brother, and he missed all my brother ones, but he was definitely at mine. So I don't think that that's necessarily something. Yeah. I'm trying to think also just that about, you know, recognizing maybe what was a little bit different when you had. Was there something for you there?

No. For sure. I mean, my I my dad was the same way, so I'm pretty lucky in that he may he did his best to make it. And I never really thought about it being a negative experience if he wasn't there. You just kinda as a kid, were always like, work. You know? Like, of course, he has to work or, like you know? So it was just a question I had for you because I do think that it's awesome that our dads were very involved like that and weren't able to, but I know now there's so many departments where overtime is such a big deal, and it's not the same anymore. And so I I do think there's Especially. A lot of children of first responders out there that might start to resent that or just feels different Yeah.

Because their parent, whether it be their dad or their mom, aren't able to make these things. And I do think that's unique for us.

Yeah.

I also think for me growing up, you know, one of the biggest challenges of being a child of a first responder I say this all the time, and we're gonna dive into it deeper. It would was really just, to me, the the responsibility aspect. So I call them unrealistic expectations, but everybody has their own maybe take on it. I think that was something just as a child of a first responder that that was different was this, my dad was very, like, no. You have chores.

Mhmm.

You have school, and your grades better be Right. Where they need to be. You are respectful.

You

are a respectful kid. Like, we were it was pretty strict. You know? And that was something that I also thought was very normal until I became an adult. Right. And recognize that that's, not that it's not for some families, but just that it was more for for us. But that routine of being an officer and what they have to do, I think, plays into that. They bring that home. And they kinda have that same mentality at home.

Like, you do things a certain way. Mhmm. You know, you get it done.

Right.

You know, you be on time for things, that very structured, on the ball type attitude personality, keep it going. So that's what it was like, you know, for me growing up was that it was great. There was definitely some moments where it was very strict. I will be honest. I think he would not care at all that I say that he was. You you had to follow those things. And if you didn't Right. Then you were you were getting it.

Right? Like, you were gonna hear it. He was a little bit, in my opinion, again, probably different for him, but I do think you would agree a little bit of the quick diffuse. So if it wasn't done if it wasn't done appropriately, if I was disrespectful, that was not gonna stand in our household. You know? So a little bit of, like, both where I thought it was it was it was great, and then there was moments of, like, you just they see the world so differently. And so as a child of a first responder, I felt like I had to maneuver differently Yeah. To make sure that I didn't hate to