Yellowjackets: Happy Thanksgiving! Now Pass the… Oh God, No. Season 3, Episode 6 “Thanksgiving (Canada)” brings us the worst holiday meal since your uncle decided to deep-fry a turkey indoors. Between the mercy killing of Coach Ben, an unexpected nature recording gone horribly wrong, and the Sadecki family’s ill-fated attempt at bonding in what is definitely a C-grade motel, this episode proves once again that survival is a high-calorie nightmare.

1997 Timeline: Fine Dining, Wilderness-Style

Coach Ben’s luck goes from bad to “please, not the Achilles tendon” to “oh no, they’re feeding me through a tube.” The girls, determined to keep him alive (for now), improvise a DIY feeding tube that is somehow less appetizing than that time your mom made you eat carob instead of chocolate.

Eventually, Natalie grants him mercy—aka delivers the Thanksgiving main course. The girls dig in like it’s a Pizza Hut Buffet (RIP), except instead of stuffed crust, they’re enjoying a fresh slice of Coach Tartare. Turns out, butt meat is the highest-calorie cut, and we're all learning things we never wanted to know.

But wait! Just as things hit peak horror-movie energy, a trio of birdwatchers/nature enthusiasts (aka Dead Hikers Walking) stumble onto the feast. The episode cuts to black as they lock eyes with Coach Ben’s severed head on an altar, proving once again that birdwatching is the most dangerous hobby on Earth.

2021 Timeline: Family Bonding, Murder Investigations, and a Surprise Cameo from The Black Lodge

The Sadecki family's Thanksgiving road trip turns out to be less “Hallmark holiday,” more “abandoned Blockbuster snack run at 2 AM.” They settle into a seedy roadside motel where the vending machine is the only dinner option, and the carpet stains have seen things. Meanwhile, Callie starts putting the puzzle pieces together.

Elsewhere, Misty is out here solving Lottie’s murder like she’s the lead in a 90s detective procedural you only ever saw on Lifetime. She tracks down Lisa Lisa (sans Cult Jam) to discuss Natalie, Lottie's mysterious $50k withdrawal, and the fact that Tai saw Lottie the day she died.

Elsewhere, Van is taking calls on unplugged phones (never a great sign) while Good Tai is apparently trapped in “the other place,” screaming for help. It’s David Lynch-coded machinations, and Van is one Black Lodge away from needing a log to talk to.

Then Shauna, Tai, and Van, listen to the DAT tape containing a 25-year-old Wilderness Grudge. This discovery practically guarantees that their drama is far from over.

By Episode’s End:

Shauna & Jeff: Still the most questionable couple.

Coach Ben: RIP, my dude.

Misty: One step closer to exposing a murder… assuming she figures out what to do with that DNA.

Birdwatchers: Congratulations, you’ve made the worst discovery since LimeWire gave your family PC 37 viruses.

Van & Tai: Should probably call a couples therapist. Will probably just keep running from the supernatural like it’s a bad breakup.

We break it all down in this episode of the pod, available wherever you get your podcasts… or on an SP mode VHS recorded over an episode of Ren & Stimpy, a Napster MP3 labeled “New Green Day (Real).mp3”, or a burned mix CD where track 12 is just Deep Blue Something’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” three times in a row.

New episodes of Yellowjackets drop Fridays at 12:01 AM ET on Showtime/Paramount+, and we’ll be here every week to guide you through the madness.

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We'd say “Happy Thanksgiving,” but after this episode? Hard pass.

Buzz buzz buzz.