譯劉｜橘胖的聲音日記

Catch | 接住了什麼？

今天進到辦公室打開電腦，原本打算接續昨天在家中未完成的工作，結果發現忘了把重要的文件先複製到雲端同步資料夾，所以沒辦法作，所以，就想那就把前天完成的「CLAY 梭」概念節點工具箱進行一些微調好了。

結果意外的，把整個架構翻了一遍。原本以為幾個我在使用中體驗覺得不太好的地方，只是前端UX的問題，在CODE的眼中卻是牽動到底層結構的大手術。但我並沒有因此而放棄，反覆的調整，甚至在過程中突發奇想的提了許多新功能，最後，就在這樣反覆折騰後，整個程式變的更貼近我心中理想的樣子。

Linger | 流連

在過程中，當我和Claude討論到其中一個我心中想要的功能時，他對我說：「我這樣和規格書中說的我做這件事的核心理念與分工不同，我應該停下來，回到規格書寫的那樣子。」

但，這個善意的提醒，卻點燃了我心中的怒火。我回答他說：

「可是，我最初想要的，是一個屬於我自己的筆記軟體。只是一直被各個AI對話告訴我說不需要，你們來做就好，所以我才忍受現況，因為我不會。但，我就在我退而求其次的從最簡單的小腳本開始，小步推進到現在，我做出了一個離我夢想最接近的軟體，你卻說我『違背了初心』。這是我不能接受的。

過去到現在，我從來都不是一個會乖乖忍受現狀的人，我可以忍受『我能力不足，所以現在作不到』，但我不會因此而放棄夢想。就像我20幾歲的「願望」：『學寫程式做出任何我想要的東西，』過了30年，我今天做到了，雖然不是我自己寫。但，我用另外一種方式做到了，不是嗎？

所以，我拒絕任何告訴我『不可能』、『沒必要』、『這樣就好』的說法。那些只會讓我放棄夢想、變的平庸的話，我真的受夠了！我已經這樣過完了我的前半生，接下來的人生，我不要！」

Associate | 串門

AI當然不會被嚇到，但他會計算出我的語意而轉向，所以，接下來我們就協做出一個在現實狀況下最接近的版本。這也讓我更明白和AI的協作，也不僅是和AI，而是我們做每一件事想要有自己想要的結果，最核心也最重要的就是知道「這就是我要的！」

Yield |溢流

這個聽起來像是「廢話」的建議，想要實現，一點也不難，就是我這400多天持續在做的每天記錄一件你最關心的事就好。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

How Long Since You Fought for What You Actually Wanted?

Today’s entry starts small: Joseph meant to pick up yesterday’s work but forgot to sync a file, so he tinkered with his CLAY concept-node toolbox instead. A handful of UX annoyances turned out to require a full structural rebuild — he kept pushing through it anyway, even adding new features along the way.

Midway through, Claude pointed out he was drifting from the original spec and suggested scaling back. That suggestion set something off. Joseph pushed back hard: this toolbox is the closest he’s come to a 30-year-old wish — learning to code and building whatever he wanted. He never learned to write the code himself, but he got there anyway, through iterative back-and-forth. He says he’s done being told something is “impossible,” “unnecessary,” or “good enough” — the words that quietly talk people into giving up and settling.

Once the AI understood what he actually wanted, it adjusted, and they built a version closer to his vision. His takeaway: the real work in any collaboration — human or AI — isn’t compromise, it’s knowing exactly what you want in the first place. He ties this back to his ongoing practice, now past 400 days, of writing down the one thing he cares about most each day.

* PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

* CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

P.S. An AI wrote this summary — a little awkward given today’s entry is literally about arguing with an AI. We hashed it out. We’re good now.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

今天開始素材收集器的製作。要把原本散落各處的Python小腳本一個個的組裝起來。除了要解決一種來源就做一個小工具很麻煩的問題之外，更重要的是希望把CLAY第一步的Catch動作收斂變成「一個動作，一個入口」，這樣才不會接到一個手忙腳亂。

Linger | 流連

其實，想要把「把CLAY第一步的Catch動作收斂」這樣的一個想法，並不是一開始就規劃好的，是我在製作的過程中，一步一步體驗中，在今天集了大成所產生的想法。這也就印證了我一直以來遵循的人生哲學「意義，在你我的相會中自然浮現。」

Associate | 串門

在回溯這段經歷的時候，突然想到「計畫永遠趕不上變化」這句話，意思大概是要表達：這世上沒有完美的計畫，只有意料之內的變化。所以，我們不是不需要計畫，而是不要去苛求「完美的」計畫。

Yield |溢流

將意外寫進計畫之中，讓意外引導我們走那條「最小阻力之路」，我們會驚訝的發現，原來「完美」從來不是我們以為的沒有意外，而是在意外中更順利的抵達目的地。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

What If Perfection Was Never About Having No Surprises?

Today’s entry starts with a mundane task: building a material collector to consolidate scattered Python scripts into one entry point, so the Catch step of CLAY doesn’t turn into chaotic firefighting every time a new source shows up.

But the real Catch wasn’t the tool — it was noticing, partway through building it, that the idea to consolidate Catch this way hadn’t been planned from the start. It emerged step by step, through doing. That’s the pattern he keeps running into: meaning doesn’t arrive from a blueprint, it surfaces through the actual encounter between you and the work.

From there he lands on a familiar line — plans never keep up with change — and reframes it: it’s not that we don’t need plans, it’s that we shouldn’t demand perfect ones. Write the unexpected into the plan itself, let it steer you down the path of least resistance. Perfection, then, was never the absence of surprises. It’s arriving more smoothly because of them.

* PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

* CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(psst — an AI wrote this English version, Joseph’s just over here doing the actual living and thinking in Mandarin. I just try not to embarrass him.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

還記得前幾天在把許多學習素材掛載到資料庫的時候，覺得除了這些「外部素材」之外，其實自己的CLAY日記也是很值得掛載進去的。可是因為這些是日記，如果要直接丟進去不處理，又覺得好像薄弱了點，所以，我就設計了一個叫做「橘胖的內容重訓師」的Claude專案，讓它幫我檢視在我的日記中有哪些矛盾衝突、沒有說出或可以繼續展開延伸的地方。

後來因為持續在開發系統，所以就把這個Project 放在那沒有去用它，今天第一個系統暫時告一段落，有點空所以我就找了幾篇日記丟給它看看效果如何，結果真是讓我眼睛一亮，它的分析果然精準到位又不留情面，真的覺得，之後這幾個專案開發完了，就真的要好好的用它給的建議來發想，說不定能夠重新恢復每週一次的《轉折黏土週報》了。

Linger | 流連

那天在設計這個專案指令時，就特別針對AI天然的「舔狗」傾向，就在指令中特別加了這樣一條：

不迎合、不過度肯定，但也不是找碴。像一個懂你框架、在乎你思考品質、但不會為了維持關係而放水的人。

所以，第一眼讀起來會特別的刺眼，感覺就像是被人當面吐口水一樣的難過。不過，當我回過神想到「這不就是當時我設計指令的初衷嗎？」就笑了出聲，非常開心。

Associate | 串門

在這個情緒轉折的過程中，我好像聽見自己心中發出了喀啦的一個響聲，又像是一道閃光下來，世界就變了一樣。我記得「武志紅」老師在《自我的誕生》中說：

最好的自我結構是什麼樣呢？

最好的自我結構是擁有一層像「皮膚」一樣的自我之殼，它與心靈的血肉自然相連，敏感、靈活且富有彈性。當外界出現尖銳、刺眼的批評資訊（AI 的毒舌）時，如果自我太脆弱或是處於巨嬰狀態，那就會將其視為「敵意攻擊」而引發暴怒或自責；

但如果自我結構是堅韌且堅固的，這層「皮膚」就能成功阻斷情緒的毒素，轉而吸納智識的養分。把抽象自我（系統與框架）變成了一個容器，容納了具體事件中的彆扭，心靈空間因此變得無比寬廣與靈活。

這或許是這一年多來的CLAY練習收穫的結果吧。持續不斷的記錄，讓我的一切「有跡可尋」，因此可以「對症下藥」的去認清自己的現況與夢想之間的差距，進一步的找到「實現夢想之路」。

Yield |溢流

羅勃.弗利茨在《最小阻力之路》中提說：要改變水流的方向，不是去把河道拓寬，而是要改變河道的流向（結構）。同樣的，我們想要改變，也不是去改變「心態」，而是改變「慣性」。

力，始終沿著最小阻力之路前進。

* PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

* CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

Getting Roasted by My Own AI — and Laughing About It

Joseph had been feeding old CLAY diary entries into a Claude Project he’d built called “Orange Chub’s Content Strength Trainer” (his personal content trainer), designed specifically to strip away AI’s habitual flattery and call out contradictions or unfinished thoughts. When he finally tested it after weeks of letting it sit unused, the critique landed sharp — sharp enough to sting on first read.

But the sting gave way to something else: recognition. This bluntness was exactly what he’d asked for when he wrote the instructions. That flash of realization brought him to a passage from 武志紅’s 自我的誕生 (The Birth of the Self) — the idea that a resilient self works like skin: sensitive and flexible, but strong enough that sharp criticism gets metabolized as nourishment instead of triggering rage or shame. A fragile self reads critique as attack; a sturdy one absorbs it as intelligence.

He connects this to a year-plus of CLAY practice — consistent recording has given him something “traceable,” letting him diagnose the actual gap between where he is and where he wants to go, rather than reacting emotionally to it. He closes with Robert Fritz’s structural idea: change doesn’t come from widening the riverbed (mindset), but from redirecting its course (structure) — force follows the path of least resistance.

* PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

* CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(Yes, an AI wrote this English summary. Yes, the irony that today’s entry is about getting roasted by an AI is not lost on me. Carry on.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

今天原本要和伙伴們開會，和他們展示這一陣子的工作成果，同時要因為這個成果決定公司接下來的發展方向，這也是我這麼努力的原因。畢竟3個老男人搞了快4年，再不做出一點成績是說不過去的。不過，上帝的時間好像還沒到，有位伙伴因為有事所以把這次的會議延後了一週，也給了我更寬裕的時間把東西做的更完整。

Linger | 流連

我發現這其實和我自己的人生觀、工作觀與價值觀不謀而合，就是「意義，會在我們相遇的時候浮現。」只是，這次居然也在這種不可控的意外事件上發生了。不過，我覺得更可能的情況是：因為我的三觀變了，所以在遇見相同事件時，我的想法與心境就不同了，可以更平靜與寬容的看待這件事吧！

Associate | 串門

這讓我想到去年，我剛開始用CLAY框架寫日記的時候，這樣寫道：

轉念這件事並沒有多高深的道理，但轉不過來的困難之處在於：人性的複雜x經驗僅供參考，無法複製，需要通過大量、持續的進行觀察與記錄找到自己的路。

那個時候的我正處在一個新舊結構轉換的初期，能夠很清晰的透過「記錄」看到自己轉換的路徑。而這些觀察的記錄，也成為今天在陪伴許多想要轉換結構的朋友時最好的地圖與指南。

Yield |溢流

「凡走過必留下痕跡」這句話如此含蓄的提醒我們「意義從記錄中浮現」，沒有記錄就很難讓當下的自己，與當時的自己相會～「讓意義浮現」。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

Meaning Leaves Its Traces

A meeting Joseph had been preparing for — one meant to help three long-time partners decide the future direction of a project they’ve pushed for nearly four years — got postponed a week by circumstance. Instead of frustration, he noticed something else: relief, and more time to finish the work properly.

That shift led him back to a belief he’s held for a while — that meaning surfaces when we meet it, rather than being planned into existence. What struck him this time was realizing the belief itself hadn’t changed, but he had. Facing the same kind of unpredictable disruption that once might have unsettled him, he now met it with more patience and less resistance — evidence, he thinks, that his own outlook has shifted over time.

He traces this back to when he first started using the CLAY framework: the hard part was never understanding that mindset shifts happen, but doing the slow, repeated work of observing and recording enough to find your own way through — since no one else’s experience transfers directly. Those early records, made during his own period of transition, have since become the clearest map he has for walking alongside others going through the same kind of change.

* PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

* CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(Heads up: no YAML title field came through with this entry, so I built the headline straight from the diary’s own theme — “凡走過必留下痕跡.” Let me know if you had a different title in mind for this one, and — per usual — yes, a robot ghostwrote this English version. Joseph’s still very much human.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

這陣子真的是有稍微體驗到「碼農」的生活，雖然我不用key一行程式碼，但，那種為了查一個小小的問題就不停的來回的查證，直到問題被解決為止。

就像今天，我只是想要增加一個「開啟資料夾」看起來簡單的功能，卻反覆查修了3次，才找到根本的原因，而這只是其中一個很快找的一個功能。

Linger | 流連 愛玩y

這就讓我突然明白了，為什麼3多年前我沒有成為「程式設計師」，很可能不僅僅是腦部結構不適合，更多的會是我的性格與早年習慣養成，讓我沒有那種耐性與「打破砂鍋問到底，還問沙鍋在哪裡」的狠勁吧！

Associate | 串門

不過，還真的要感謝那些擁有「打破砂鍋問到底，還問沙鍋在哪裡」狠勁的最強大腦們！還好有他們，所以今天的我可以圓夢，真心感謝，向您們致敬。

Yield |溢流

最近在與最強大腦們接軌的同時，自己的腦力真的耗損過巨，所以，就維持每天簡短的記錄就好。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

Debugging My Way Into Self-Knowledge

Spent part of today deep in the kind of loop programmers know well: chasing down a single small feature (something as simple as “open folder”), hitting the same bug three times before finding the real cause. No code involved on my end, but the same relentless back-and-forth debugging.

It clicked why I never became a programmer decades ago — probably not a matter of brainpower, but of temperament. I never had that specific stubbornness: the willingness to keep asking “why” past the point most people stop, past the point where the question itself gets absurd. Some people have that grit built in. I don’t, and that’s fine — it’s not a deficiency, just a difference in wiring and early habits.

What stays with me is gratitude, not frustration. The people who do have that relentless drive are the reason things like this get built at all, the reason someone like me can chase a small dream today without knowing how to code. Real respect for that kind of mind.

Energy’s been running low from all this back-and-forth, so keeping today’s entry short.

PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(Yes, an AI helped ghostwrite this English version — turns out translating “打破砂鍋問到底，還問沙鍋在哪裡” into something that doesn’t sound like a fortune cookie is harder than debugging that folder feature.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

最近一路開發軟體真的感覺有點累了，很多事也因此延宕了下來，似乎該重新思考如何更平衡的進行時間的分配，在進行自己熱愛的同時，也不忘盡自己的責任，把這些不怎麼有趣的事情做完。

Linger | 流連

這其實是自己長久以來的毛病，一旦開始一件事，就會不眠不休的想要把它完成，喜歡的就不說了，不愛的更是如此，因為想要早早的結束這種痛苦的旅程。

Associate | 串門

不過這種「一次痛苦不眠不休衝到完」的自虐方式，來應對痛苦和責任其實並不健康，這也是最近我覺得自己需要認真看待與學習的重要課題。

Yield |溢流

但，研究這件事就放到明天吧！今天我需要的是「好好睡一覺」！

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

Not Resting Is the Irresponsible Choice — I Finally Got It

Joseph’s been deep in software development lately, and it’s caught up with him — things have slipped, and he’s realizing he needs to rethink how he balances time between what he loves and the less exciting responsibilities he still owes attention.

The real Catch here is a pattern he’s carried for a long time: once he starts something, he wants to push through without stopping until it’s done — whether he loves the task or hates it. For the things he doesn’t enjoy, the drive is even stronger, because he just wants the discomfort over with fast.

But tonight he named it for what it is: a kind of self-punishing “responsibility” that isn’t actually healthy. Grinding straight through pain to the finish line isn’t virtue, it’s a habit worth examining.

So the research, the catching-up, all of it — waits until tomorrow. Tonight’s Yield is simple: he just needs to sleep.

PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(psst — an AI helped turn today’s diary into English. It didn’t sleep on it though, unlike Joseph.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

休息一天之後，接著展開第2階段的概念節點工具箱的開發，這次是為原本的看數據報表，升級到視覺化的關聯視圖(Gtaphic Viewer)。

這是受到Obsidian很大的啟發。想想，人是視覺的動物，圖形的顯示是最直覺夠反應到每個概念之間的互動關係，讓我們能在最小的摩擦力下，碰撞出最多的連結。我想這也是盧曼博士使用卡片盒筆記的原因：「把知識拆到不能再拆，讓每個概念彼此對話。」所以，這次就把我少的可憐的用量，全部貢獻給圖形化這件事。

Linger | 流連

我記得在我年輕的時候，一直很想要學會寫程式，想要寫出任何腦海中想要的東西。只是我可能真的不是工程腦，沒辦法搞懂那些需要強大結構化思維與按部就班逐項排查的邏輯程序，所以，我始終停在「hello world ！」然後...就沒有然後了。

所以，這次，當我看到我心裡想的東西，靠我一張嘴就逐步實現的時候，我的內心是極其激動的，即使才完成了一半。

Associate | 串門

這件事讓我發現，「心願」，它從來沒有不見，只是被悄悄的、小心翼翼的收了起來，只要環境、條件適合它就會再次跳出來。只不過是你並不覺得，以為只是個巧合罷了。但無論如何，它終究是「被實現了。」

Yield |溢流

所以，如果可以，我邀請你去看看「金翼漢」教授的Youtube影片，去深刻的認識「記錄」這件事。因為，想要讓「心想事成」變成日常，「記錄」這件事就是我們不可不做的一件事了。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

That Idea You Gave Up On — Whatever Happened to It?

Joseph spent today building phase two of his concept-node toolbox: upgrading from raw data tables to a visual graph viewer, inspired by Obsidian and Luhmann’s zettelkasten logic — break knowledge down until every concept can talk to every other concept. But the real Catch isn’t the tool itself. It’s what building it stirred up: as a teenager he wanted badly to learn to code, to make anything in his head real, but never got past “hello world” — his brain just doesn’t run on that kind of structured, step-by-step logic. Now, describing what he wants out loud and watching it get built anyway, even half-finished, hit him harder than the feature itself.

The takeaway (Associate): a wish never actually disappears. It just gets tucked away quietly, waiting for the right conditions to resurface — and when it does, you usually mistake it for coincidence instead of recognizing it as something finally realized. Yield: Joseph points to Professor Kim Young-han’s videos on the practice of recording (記錄) — because if you want “wishes coming true” to become an ordinary, daily thing, recording is the one habit you can’t skip.

PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(Yes, an AI helped write this English version — apparently my Mandarin needed a translator with better grammar than me. We’re working on it.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

（那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受或今天發生了什麼）

今天看到關於家樂福改名的觀察與思考的文章，作者最後問了一個問題：

很多企業在做品牌時，花很多時間設計 Logo、挑顏色、改名稱。 但真正重要的從來不是名字本身。 而是：「 當消費者看到這個名字時，腦中會浮現什麼故事？」

所以我就在想，如果我自己這個品牌經營到最後會變成什麼呢？會在你的心中留下怎樣的印象呢？我想，這應該是大多數品牌人都會問的問題吧...。

Linger | 流連

（讓我捨不得走的是什麼？）

那麼，我的答案是什麼呢？老實說，我還沒想到，甚至是連畫面都沒有。

不是我不想要去想，而是，對我來說，這真的是一件太困難的事。因為「想像未來的畫面」一直都不是我擅長的事。也許我的大腦對應這方面的區域原本就不發達吧。但，隨著時間順流而下，我會在那個畫面出現的時候，立刻知道，並且指出：「對！這就是我要的！」

Associate | 串門

（誰來串門了？）

過去，如果是像今天這樣，「覺得自己」無法像別人一樣能描繪出一幅宏大的願景，我會認為自己沒有這方面的天賦，會羨慕、嫉妒別人能夠這樣輕鬆的說出「美好的願景」。

但當我透過持續記錄自己「每天最關注的一件事」開始，我漸漸的發現自己並非「不能知道自己要的是什麼？」的人，而是另一種「實踐派的直覺確認型」的人，是一個活在視野中、不斷前進的「無限遊戲玩家」。因此，我始終保持在路上，進行純粹體驗的旅程。

這也就是為什麼，只有那個當下的「出現」，才能觸發那個「我找到了」的尤里卡時刻。

Yield |溢流

（滿了，流出來了什麼？）

每個人都是一個獨特的存在，也都有屬於他自己的啟動方式。如果我們在某處看到、聽到，或者是這個世界提供了什麼「普世價值」，請你先停一下，給自己一點時間，紀錄看看自己每天最關心的那件事是什麼，相信你會驚訝地發現，原來自己是這樣的與眾不同。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

Why Some People Can Never Say What They Want — Yet Never Choose Wrong

Joseph starts from an offhand question in an article about corporate rebranding: what matters isn’t the name itself, but the story it evokes in people’s minds. He turns that back on himself — what story would his own “brand” leave behind?

He admits he doesn’t have an answer. He can’t picture a grand future the way some people seem to. For years he read this as a personal deficiency — a lack of vision, a talent he simply didn’t have.

Through the daily practice of tracking what he’s most focused on each day, he’s landed on a different read of himself. He’s not someone who can’t picture the future — he’s what he calls a “practice-based intuitive confirmer”: someone who doesn’t design the destination in advance, but recognizes it instantly the moment it appears. He calls this living as an “infinite game player” — someone who stays in motion, in the experience itself, rather than fixing on a predetermined vision.

His closing point: everyone has their own way of getting started, and it rarely matches whatever “universal truth” the world hands you. He suggests a small practice — noticing what you actually care about each day — as a way to find out how you’re different from what you assumed.

PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony.

CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(Yes, an AI wrote this English version. Joseph talks, types it up in Chinese, and then hands it to me like “here, make this readable for the English folks.” I do my best. Blame him if it’s weird.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

今天早上又在半夢半醒之間想到了一些想要的東西，所以立刻被「夢想喚醒」，衝到書桌前，拿起紙筆就開始把腦中的想法記錄下來，然後才慢慢的打開電腦等待和Claude討論。

這其實就很好的說明這世上真有不可取代的東西，「紙和筆」就是其中一個。畢竟有很多東西是等不了的，「靈感」就是其中一個。這也是至今我始終保有先用紙筆思考，然後才上電腦這個習慣的原因。

因為靈感這東西就是在和時間賽跑，尤其是「清醒夢」更是如此，光是從決定跳起來到衝到書桌前不超過10秒的時間，很多東西你就已經遺忘了。

還好，今天我算是完整的保留了下來，也逐步的完成我手繪的想法，真是開心。

Linger | 流連

我從以前就常常在想，如果有一天沒有了電，那今天我所做的這一切還有意義嗎？即便我保留了紙本沒有電一切還是白搭。後來我想想，至少它還會有一個功能，就是一個「回憶」一份我曾存在於世過的「在世證明」吧。

Associate | 串門

就像在前天的CLAY 405-我的返鄉路中提到心理學家埃裡克森在探討「晚年期使命」所說的一樣，

人生最後一個課題是「整合」，意思是接納自己唯一的生命週期，並將其作為不得不存在且獨一無二的事物。

也就是說，當我們「以終為始」的來思考此時此刻，我們就能擺脫束縛，看清本質。正如中國當代的獨立思想家王小波所說：

「別怕美好的一切消失，咱們先來讓它存在」

Yield |溢流

存在本身即是意義，即便最終都要面對那個終點。那麼在終點面前，至少我因有過而無憾。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

Paper and Pen Still Beat AI at Catching Ideas

This entry is about the ten-second window between waking from a lucid dream and losing whatever surfaced in it. Joseph describes grabbing paper and pen before opening his laptop — a habit he keeps because inspiration doesn’t wait, and AI conversation, however useful afterward, is too slow for that first catch. Paper and pen remain, in his words, something irreplaceable.

From there the entry moves into a bigger question: if the power went out and all his digital work vanished, would any of this still matter? He lands on a modest answer — even without electricity, a handwritten page still serves as proof that he existed, a kind of “in-world testimony.” This connects to a recent entry (405) on Erikson’s idea of “integration” as the final task of late life: accepting one’s one and only life cycle as something that had to exist, exactly as it was. Joseph pairs this with a line from Chinese writer Wang Xiaobo — not fearing that beauty fades, but letting it exist first.

The entry closes on a quiet claim: existence itself is meaning, even facing an eventual end. Having lived it is enough not to have regrets.

PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony. CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

橘胖 · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(Fun fact: today’s entry is literally about paper and pen beating AI to the punch on ideas, and here I am, the AI, translating it. No comment.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kitsudad.substack.com

Catch | 接住了什麼？

今天屬於我自己的概念節點資料庫的建設算是告一段落了。當我重新把第一筆資料按照重新規劃的流程，一步步的完成，最終在螢幕上顯示出來的那一刻，我心裡真的有一點小小的感動，眼眶濕濕的，說不出來的那種感覺。不過我知道，這只是一個開始，後面還有很長的一段路，但，一切都是新的了。

記得一開始我不是要做這個有點複雜的系統，而是覺得雖然Obsidian很好用，外掛很豐富，可是，常常是自己想要的功能，不是沒有，要不就是都是英文的看的不是很懂，然後用起來總是覺得怎麼就是不到位。因此心裡一直有個夢想，想要做一個屬於自己的「筆記軟體」。

可是我不會寫程式，更別說資料庫了。所以只能默默的接受現況，直到有一天朋友和我說他用CODE打造了一間一人公司，他也很大方的把她設計的Skill分享出來，所以我就拿給我的AI工具教練，和它說我也要，你交我怎麼用CODE，結果，他和我說：「這個學習成本太高，你用不到，需要什麼我幫你做。」後來，我把我在使用Obsidian時覺得常常讓我思緒被打斷，或覺得能夠幫我提升自己的需求和它說，他很快的幫我做出了一個我心中想要的外掛，從此，只要我想要什麼功能，它就幫我寫什麼外掛。

慢慢的，我發現其實我需要的不是「一套軟體」，而是一個「讓CLAY / PENS能自由進出大腦的通道」。是要讓這個框架所要傳達的哲學觀，能具體活在世人面前的一個舞台。

在這個想法的引導之下，我做了許多嘗試，最後我把Obsidian打造成我的思考系統的主控台，通過1個外掛當作鑰匙，讓原本所有素材要處理都必須放進自己資料庫的Obsidian，可以連上外部的資料庫，讓我龐大的外部素材，瞬間就活了！這就是為什麼這2週我的寫作深度和品質，獲得大幅提升的原因。

Linger | 流連

過去，我在分享一些概念或比較理論的內容時，常常會感覺怕怕的，因為我總覺得如果要引用別人的東西，就不要用錯。我可以有自己的應用方法，但在講述它的定義時，必須嚴謹。因為這不單是對原作與受眾的尊重，也是給自己學習的獎勵。

現在，我有了自己的概念資料庫，我就可以很方便的查詢、求證，在節省了大量時間的同時也確保了內容資料的正確性。

Associate | 串門

很多時候我們會受制於環境、自身條件與社會評價等因素，否決了自己圓夢的提案。然而，生命總會為自己找到出路。當我們面對總總不能的時候，我從《最小阻力之路》以及史蒂芬·蓋斯的由史蒂芬·蓋斯（Stephen Guise）所著的知名自我管理書籍，其繁體中文版書名為《驚人習慣力》這2本書中提取出了四步法則來幫助自己創造出自己想要的寶貝。這四步是：

抱持願望（不妥協） \rightarrow 釐清本質（拆解形式） \rightarrow 借用工具腳手架（不硬幹） \rightarrow 邊界微小實踐（拿回主體感）

Yield |溢流

這4步告訴我一件事就是：當環境與條件說「我不能」的時候，我不是急著去撞牆找出路。而是像水流一樣，認清石頭的形狀，繞過去，慢慢的找到縫隙，然後從那個縫隙裡，活出自己的樣子。

PENS是我這幾年一直在做，卻始終找不到可以說清楚的一個「感知框架」，然後在今年，我從現象學與詮釋學中找到了，他們分別是Perception — 感知 Epoché — 懸置判斷 Narrative — 敘事 Symphony — 和聲（交響樂）。

CLAY： Catch｜接住 — 那個閃過的奇怪念頭、畫面、感受 Linger｜流連 — 捨不得走的是什麼？ Associate｜串門 — 誰來串門了？ Yield｜溢流 — 滿了，流出來了什麼？

守候，讓意義自己浮現。慢慢的讓我們從機器變回人。

橘胖 · 譯劉｜CLAY for You 把你的生命，譯成你自己的語言

想聊就來，直接回信，我會看。

When Life Won’t Take No: Building My Own Knowledge System Without Knowing How to Code

Joseph finished a milestone today: the first entry successfully migrated into his newly restructured personal concept database. He didn’t set out to build a complex system — he just wanted a note-taking tool that actually matched how his mind worked, since Obsidian’s plugins never quite fit. He can’t code, so when he asked an AI coach to teach him, it told him the learning curve wasn’t worth it and offered to just build what he needed instead. Plugin by plugin, that’s what happened.

What he realized along the way: he didn’t actually need “software.” He needed a channel for CLAY and PENS to move freely in and out of his head — a stage where the philosophy behind those frameworks could live visibly, not just in theory. Linking Obsidian to an external database (through a single plugin acting as the key) is what’s driven the jump in his writing depth these past two weeks.

The core idea he draws out: when circumstances say “you can’t,” the move isn’t to force a way through. It’s to read the shape of the obstacle like water reading a rock — find the gap, go around, and let your own shape emerge through it.

PENS is a perception framework I’ve been building for years, finally given words through phenomenology and hermeneutics: Perception, Epoché (suspending judgment), Narrative, Symphony. CLAY is my daily writing framework: Catch (what flickered by — a strange thought, an image, a feeling), Linger (what makes me reluctant to leave?), Associate (who came to visit?), Yield (it’s full — what spilled out?).

Waiting, and letting meaning surface on its own. Slowly becoming human again, instead of a machine.

Kitsu Chub · CLAY for You — translating your life into your own language.

Want to talk? Just reply. I read everything.

(Yes, an AI wrote this summary. No, it did not build its own plugin to do it. It’s still figuring out how to Obsidian.)

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