WASHINGTON, DC—A federal judge ruled Monday that yogurt is not a fruit, but rather a dairy product.

"Yogurt is not a fruit because it does not have seeds," Judge Henry T. Hargreaves said. "Also, it is not a fruit because it is not grown on a tree."

Yogurt was brought to trial on charges of impersonating a fruit, and was convicted by the jury of 12 yogurt-flavored sherbets.

The ruling comes as a blow to the nation's yogurt industry, which has been under fire for years for its misleading labeling. Yogurt was unavailable for comment, as it was still being digested by the stomach.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://thecrookedwheel.com/2022/08/24/yogurt-is-not-a-fruit/