Everything that happens to us should be seen as lessons in life to make us stronger, not convince us how weak & shameful we should be. Today I am sharing 5 tips on how to not let your past define you.

Show Notes:
Do you spend a lot of time thinking about how something that happened in the past could have gone differently? I used to spend a ton of time really ruminating about the past, accompanied by a ton of regrets because of whatever happened. Even if it was something I couldn’t control. I usually end up believing that if I wasn’t there to witness what happened, then it wouldn’t have happened. But all of that does nothing to reverse what happened, who was involved or how it may or may not affect the future.

I’m here to tell you that no matter how much time you spend thinking about how things could have gone better & really leaning into hindsight being 20/20, it won’t make anything different or better. It will actually make it more difficult to move forward & leave the issues behind you.

But at least you aren’t alone! Many people go through moments that feel regretful & awful at the time, but a lot of times it’s not as bad as it seems. It can seem worse than it is because you pick everything apart. The detailed examination of everything is the problem. And I understand how this is helpful sometimes when serious events occur, but usually not. These are also great ways to learn lessons & become stronger. We become our best selves in these moments.

But I’m sure you may also worry about what others think of you when hearing of your past. I used to for the longest time. I was really ashamed of my past. But I eventually became tired of holding myself back from doing what I wanted just because I was worried about what others would say & think. And that’s not to say I don’t still worry about those things, but I am more mindful about it.

Even more than worrying about others' judgement, we actually suffer the most from our own. We allow the regret, failures and mistakes to pile up & become so big that it feels like we are living in the shadows of those things. It feels impossible to not be defined by these things because we inflated the negative experiences surrounding these events. Instead, we should be adjusting our perspective to see how helpful going through adversity can be for us. It’s never fun when it’s happening, but valuable lessons are being learned to better prepare you for the future.

I know our pasts can be really heavy. It can be this great burden to bear that seems to always be getting heavier. But I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way. And I want you to know, it’s not easy to let go of your past & no longer let it define you, but it’s necessary. 

Today I want to share with you 5 ways to no longer let your past define you & move forward feeling freer:

1. Learn to forgive whoever hurt you & forgive yourself.
2. Think about the person you want to be, not who you feel like you have to be.
3. Fight against your fear of judgement.
4. Reflect more on how those experiences made you stronger, not weaker.
5. Surround yourself with people that accept you for who you are & are becoming.

Tell yourself that you are defined by how you rise out of the pits of despair, not how you fell into those.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

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