Happiness is fleeting, depending on the season of life you're going through. Being authentically you is what holds strong & gets you through the tough times. You can be all of your emotions. You're not held to just happiness.

Show Notes:

The older I get, the more I realize how complicated happiness is because it’s not the same for everyone & it can be experienced on varying degrees. And the varying degrees part is so important because when I was younger, it seemed like if you were happy, it was the top of the scale of positive feelings. There was nothing higher or more for you to achieve. When in reality, I can be minimally happy, mediumly happy, or even more than happy. 

There are also expectations with everyone needing to be happy. I believe it’s perfectly fine to just be content in life, which is different than happy. Content is more accepting of life with a positive attitude & happy is more excited about life. And then there are the smiling police. You know, those people that tell you to smile because it’s more socially acceptable to feign positive feelings than just be how you are. It’s their insecurities being placed on you because it’s uncomfortable for them to see someone not smiling or even venture into a conversation that isn’t positive or easy to breeze through. It’s the idea that being fake is easier than being real & vulnerable. Which it is, unfortunately. But it shouldn’t be this way.

One of the biggest reasons why you don’t need to be happy all the time is that negative experiences are so helpful to us. Despite how hard & difficult negative experiences are, these moments can push us to grow & change & continue to become our best selves. When we experience guilt, it causes us to make things right where we have done wrong. When we are angry, it can cause us to really evaluate what needs to change in our lives or isn’t going well & lead us to figure out why that is. Another reason we don’t need to be happy all the time is because happiness doesn’t equal fulfillment. We can be sad & be fulfilled, or even exhausted & be fulfilled. There are times in life where we have to work really hard, which isn’t always fun, but it’s still something positive & fulfilling for us in the end. Keeping our promises when we don’t really want to doesn’t evoke happiness, but we know it’s the right thing to do & that makes us feel good.

And the things that lead directly to happiness aren’t always things we should be doing. Like sitting on the couch day in, day out, watching tv & eating unhealthy snacks. Taking from someone else for your benefit, even knowing it will hurt someone else. Being dishonest to get what you want. Happiness can actually be selfish if it’s based on getting only what you want, even if others are burned in the process.

But I don’t want you to be holding your happiness back. If you are happy, be happy. Something that I struggle with is allowing my happiness to bleed through because if someone else around me isn’t happy, I feel like I can’t be happy either because it could make them feel worse. Which is logical if you’re a people pleaser. But it’s silly because the happiness you have could actually help someone else be more happy in times of negativity.

Living your life isn’t about being happy all the time. It’s about being your authentic self & leaning into vulnerability & honoring your emotions, positive or negative. 

Thank you again for listening

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