You Don't Know Me

The future really is a foreign, unknown country, and none of us have a crystal ball – but want to know the best way to be able to have a good idea about what is coming? Talk to young people! It’s really not a trite cliché that young people ‘are’ the future – but true.

Young people are the ones who have to live in the future, so it’s in their best interest to try and shape a future they all want to live in. This episode is a bit of retrospective of the series, where we summarise our findings and predictions, chat to teens we haven’t yet, bring back some of the superstars of the series and think ahead to future episodes. This will make you want to revisit future episodes and have those conversations all over again. Teenagers and all those people who know and care for teenagers want nothing more than the promise of a good, successful future – this episode and revisiting the whole series of You Don’t Know Me can help make that promise a little more certain.

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

School is one of the great social levellers – every young person irrespective of who they are has to go. However, the 2020 pandemic revealed two critical things – firstly, just how unequal the schooling system has become and secondly, just how important good schooling is. In the first episode about the modern school system, we get under the skin of these issues, talking to teenagers about what it’s really like to attend a failing school and the impact this has had on their future.

We also examine what role school has in the lives of teenagers, and one of the most devastating teenage paradoxes of all – the fact you rarely see just how valuable school is until you leave the safety and structure of the four walls of school! We also talk to beloved and eminent headteacher of Passmores Academy, Vic Goddard, who is best known for his brilliant leadership but also from the hit TV show, Educating Essex. He chats to us about inequality, poverty, the challenges of modern teaching and schools, and why he is ultimately very hopeful about modern teenagers!

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

What does faith and spirituality mean to teens living in the increasingly secular West, where we tend to worship Apple and celebrities more readily than we worship religious icons? Surprisingly – a lot! In an uncertain and anxious age where there are few answers and little comfort, young people are embracing everything spiritual and religious with gusto, with some turning to more traditional religion and others seeking solace in the more esoteric. Don’t believe us? Check out the more spiritual side of TikTok, where millions of teens showcase their belief systems in all kinds of ways.

In this episode, we witness teenagers undergoing this year’s TikTok sensation, Brian Weiss’ past-life regression and we heat from a teenage boy who got addicted to a spiritual advisor after the death of him mother. We hear from a whole host of teenagers about what faith, religion and spirituality means to them, and what its role is, in a modern techy world. We also chat to Reverend Mary Hawes, the Youth Advisor for the Church of England about why she think religion can play an important role in teenagers’ lives. This episode is worth it alone to hear Chloe discussing anal sex with a priest! Thought-provoking, moving and surprising – this is the episode of the series that might surprise you!

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

Amazingly, ‘feminism’ – ostensibly a movement about equality for women has become one of the most controversial – and often maligned – labels in modern discourse. Loads of teenage women – and lots of teenage men – are inspired and empowered by the movement and find real strength in modern feminist icons, books and TED talks.

Feminism has been the fuel for the #metoo movement, helped young people challenge the notions of power and language and helped a new generation fight for greater gender equality. However, others argue that feminism is a destructive force that turns girls into ‘Feminazis’ and insists young men become passive and weak – and worse – paints all men as potential aggressors or abusers. So, what do modern teenagers really think of feminism? We talk to some who love it, some who hate it, and some who just aren’t really sure what it means. With amazing stories from teenagers we dissect what it means to be a young, modern feminist and I discover exactly what a ‘Pick Me Girl’ is! We also have an amazing discussions with young feminist illustrator, activist, and author of ‘Women Don’t Owe You Pretty’, Florence Given.

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

Being a teenage boy in the ‘20’s is challenging – you are either accused of possessing massive privilege or there is well-founded concern about how you are doing, with rates of depression, suicide, risky behaviour and body dysmorphia rising sharply in young men.

In this episode we get real with teenage boys about what it’s like living the ‘20’s and the very real consequences of being pressured to be Alpha, what they think of girls, sexual politics, social media, role models, feminism and much more! We hear a shocking story about an assault at high school and how a teenage boy responded to that – when his closest male friends were involved. Most discussions about young masculinity dart around the edges – this gets to the heart of the matter. We also chat to author of ‘The Problem with Men’, podcaster and comedian, Richard Herring about young men, masculinity and his infamous campaign on International Women’s Day.

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

After a year of upheaval and devastation, race has finally become part of the global discussion and a priority conversation for everyone to be having – but how do you turn this into a movement and not just a moment? We did the thing everyone should be doing and talked to teenagers about race, identity, the role it’s played in their young lives so far and their hopes for the future.

In this episode, we talk to teens of different races and backgrounds about racism, prejudice, BLM, the police, racial profiling in schools, and racial bias in friendship groups. Away from the arguments on social media and the knee-jerk headlines in media, teenagers get real about how their race and identity impacts their lives, how they manage racism and abuse and what the future looks like for a generation switched onto the issue – but not necessarily any more tolerant than older generations. This episode is frank, emotional and surprisingly funny – with the stories of teenagers both living in and trying to recreate the world. We also chat to the brilliant geneticist, broadcaster and bestselling author, Adam Rutherford about the scientific approach to race and why he felt the need to write his book ‘How to Argue with a Racist.’

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

Pornography has been around forever and has occupied a ‘special’ place in the lives of teenagers for decades. But has porn – and the relationship with porn – changed for the first truly digital generation? The answer is a resounding yes!! Modern teenagers are the first generation to have unfettered, 24/7 access to any flavour of pornography they like, and are they ever indulging! The average teenager watches 87 hours of porn a year, and there is little doubt this is having a massive impact on their sexuality and mental health. In this episode we delve into what this global addiction is doing to young people, meeting a young woman who’s boyfriend developed a damaging porn habit, and what this did for their relationship and sex-life. We also talk to teens about what they really think about porn away from the headlines and pearl-clutching tabloid stories. We also talk to bestselling author, speaker and podcaster, Jon Ronson about his time in the porn-valley of LA where he spent time getting to know some of the most well-known porn performers and players. Porn is not an issue you can avoid where teenagers are concerned and this episode tackles it head-on with fascinating and illuminating insights from teens living with porn. 

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

Did you know that teenagers (16-19) are 40% more likely to suffer from domestic violence than people in their twenties (20-24)? Do teenagers even really know what qualifies as domestic violence or that they can become victims, seeing as the majority think DV happens to married middle-aged people? Would your teenager recognise the red-flags or warning signs of a potentially or actively abusive partner? If the answer is ‘no’ to any of the questions, stop what you are doing and listen!

This episode delves into the experience of Suzy – a ‘normal’ teenager who found herself in a violent and deadly relationship, aged seventeen. We discuss warning signs, the issue of gaslighting and what we can do to help a generation far more vulnerable to domestic violence than most of us probably think. With invaluable and practical advice from Lisa King, the Director of Communications at REFUGE , this episode is a lifeline for any teenager entering the dating world or in any worried about their – or a friend’s – relationship, and for parents who often don’t notice the warning signs until it’s too late.

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

There is no getting around it – sex work in the 2020’s is booming. From the meteoric rise of Only Fans, the popularity of Sugar Daddy-style dating apps, the proliferation of porn and webcamming, and young people utilising the power of the internet and social media to market themselves – clue: Instagram has become the world’s most successful sex work marketing tool! But how is this impacting teenagers and moreover, with selling sex becoming so normalised, are they tempted to ditch the bar and waiter jobs to get them through uni, and pick up the G-string? The answer is yes. We talk to a teenage girl who has been doing sex work since Sixth Form, and we discuss the motivations behind it – including poverty, capitalism and peer pressure. As this a topic that’s easy to moralise or sensationalise, we chat about the financial, moral and social drivers and outcomes of sex work with tech, finance and politics journalist, Chaminda Jayanetti. This episode is a shocking listen, but a must for all teenagers or anyone with a teenager in their life. 

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.

Popularity is one of the most coveted ‘things’ for teenagers – all young people want to be seen as popular (both online and offline) and all parents want popularity for their kids. And yet, despite its importance, no one really understands what popularity is – what makes some teens popular and others less so? If you are popular, how did you get to be that way and what should you do with that popularity and equally what does it feel like to be unpopular or even bullied? In this episode, teens from across the popularity spectrum share their stories, and we examine the devastating impact of bullying and share ideas on how to help young people navigate the tricky minefield that is popularity. Featuring the voices and stories of teenagers and also expert and invaluable advice from author and behaviour advisor to the Department for Education, Tom Bennett, this is a must listen for those who are, know or care about teenagers!

If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode you can find information and support on our website Podimo.com/YouDontKnowMe.

You Don't Know Me is a Podimo podcast series produced by Mermade.

Producer: Rhyanna Coleman. Audio Engineer: Jon Scott.