You Would Think

Ever been ghosted, ignored, or left on read and wondered, "Am I not even worthy of a response?"

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Visit https://you-would-think-hub.lovable.app/ to order my book You May Be Right, But What If You're Wrong?, explore Christian recovery coaching, or access free recovery resources.

In this episode of You Would Think: When Helping Hurts, we're talking about why being ignored can hurt so much—and what our reactions might reveal about people-pleasing, codependency, rejection, pride, and our sense of self-worth.

Sometimes what starts as a genuine desire to help someone becomes an unhealthy need for their appreciation or approval. Before we know it, we've turned someone else's situation into a story about ourselves.

We'll explore how to separate what actually happened from what we're feeling and believing, why reasonable expectations can still lead to resentment, and how to be a lighthouse, not a tugboat.

Most importantly, we'll look at Ephesians 1 and what God has already established about our identity through Jesus Christ.

Healing doesn't necessarily mean something stops hurting. It means the hurt stops determining what we believe and how we behave.

📖 Scripture References:

• Ephesians 1:4–9 — Our identity in Christ
• James 1:19 — Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger
• Proverbs 8:34 — Listen, watch, and wait

💬 Let's talk: Have you ever interpreted someone's silence as a statement about your worth? Share your experience in the comments.

📩 Questions or interested in recovery coaching?
[email protected]

#YouWouldThink #WhenHelpingHurts #Ghosting #PeoplePleasing #Codependency #ChristianRecovery #SelfWorth #Rejection #Boundaries #EmotionalHealth #IdentityInChrist #Recovery

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What happens when the way you've been coping with life becomes the very thing that's destroying it?

In the first episode of How'd You Do It?, a new You Would Think interview series, Josh Simcosky sits down with Jason Cheney, a military veteran, former police officer, husband, father, and recovering alcoholic, to discuss addiction, trauma, faith, and finding purpose through recovery.

📘 Order my new book, You May Be Right, But What If You're Wrong?, here:
https://you-would-think-hub.lovable.app/

After 18 years in the military and 12 years in law enforcement, Jason found himself relying on alcohol to cope with life's difficulties. When his drinking began destroying his relationships and his future, his wife and brother helped him take the first step toward rehab.

But getting sober was only the beginning.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How trauma, depression, and anxiety contribute to addiction
• Jason's breaking point and life-changing experience in rehab
• Why sobriety and recovery aren't the same thing
• Overcoming shame, guilt, and destructive thinking
• The importance of honesty, accountability, and community
• Learning to surrender control and follow Jesus
• Rebuilding relationships and finding purpose through recovery

One of Jason's most powerful lessons came from imagining what he'd tell his 12-year-old self:

"Everything's gonna be fine, but not as fast as you think it is."

Recovery takes time, but change is possible. And sometimes somebody else's story is the key to your own lock.

ABOUT HOW'D YOU DO IT?

A You Would Think interview series featuring real stories of addiction, recovery, healing, and faith. Different stories, different struggles, but one common question: How'd you do it?

CONNECT WITH JOSH

📘 Books, Christian recovery resources, and coaching:
https://you-would-think-hub.lovable.app/

👍 Like, comment, and subscribe for more conversations about recovery, faith, relationships, and personal growth.

📤 Share this episode with someone who needs encouragement.

Remember: Just because you have a thought or feeling doesn't make it true.

God bless!

#HowdYouDoIt #YouWouldThink #AddictionRecovery #ChristianRecovery #AlcoholRecovery #RecoveryTestimony #Sobriety #TraumaHealing #FaithAndRecovery #MensMentalHealth

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Co-parenting after divorce can be incredibly difficult—especially when communication turns into conflict and every interaction feels heavier than it should.

📘 Buy my new book, You May Be Right, But What If You’re Wrong?
https://you-would-think-hub.lovable.app/

In this episode of You Would Think, I break down the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting and why parallel parenting may be the healthier option when cooperation simply isn’t possible right now.

We talk about making communication more informative instead of interactive, setting boundaries, refusing unnecessary conflict, and learning that not every accusation deserves a response.

We also look at Romans 12:18, Matthew 5:9, and Proverbs 4:23 as a framework for peace, acceptance, self-control, and guarding your heart.

Most importantly, this is about the example we give our kids. They need stability, consistency, and a parent who chooses truth over control.

Co-parenting requires cooperation. Parallel parenting requires boundaries.

#CoParenting #ParallelParenting #Divorce #ParentingAfterDivorce #HighConflictCoParenting #ChristianParenting #Boundaries #Relationships #EmotionalHealth #Romans1218 #YouWouldThink

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📖 MY FIRST BOOK IS AVAILABLE NOW!

You May Be Right, But What If You’re Wrong? — 12 Steps of Recovery for Every Christian’s Heart

👉 ORDER YOUR SIGNED COPY HERE:
https://you-would-think-hub.lovable.app/

You don’t have to be an addict to need recovery.

In this special episode of You Would Think, my friend, mentor, and coach Chris Ward takes over the microphone to interview me about my recovery story and the message behind my new book.

We talk about what kept me stuck in addiction for more than 20 years, the illusion of control, why accountability matters, supporting vs. enabling, and why you will never be able to recover alone.

More than anything, this book is an invitation to stop looking through a window at what everyone else needs to change—and start looking in the mirror.

Am I sure about that… or am I just sure of myself?

Recovery is a process, not an event. If you feel too far gone, you don't have to change your entire life today. Just take one step.

📖 GET YOUR SIGNED COPY:
https://you-would-think-hub.lovable.app/

🎥 CHRIS WARD ON YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/@chriswardlegacy

Just because you have a thought or feeling doesn't make it true.

#YouWouldThink #ChristianRecovery #AddictionRecovery #12Steps #Recovery #Sobriety #RecoveryJourney #FaithBasedRecovery #ChristianLiving #MensMentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualGrowth #Addiction #Jesus #Faith #BookLaunch

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Sometimes the most protected person in a dysfunctional family is the person doing the most damage.

Why? Because confronting them is expensive.

In this episode of When Helping Hurts, I talk about the difference between being a peacemaker and simply keeping the peace. We’ll look at how codependency, people pleasing, fear, and dysfunctional family patterns can cause us to accommodate unhealthy behavior just to avoid conflict.

Sometimes the healthiest person gets confronted simply because they’re the safest person to confront. And sometimes what we call “keeping the peace” is actually keeping dysfunction comfortable.

We’ll talk about boundaries, enabling, family dynamics, emotional regulation, biblical peacemaking, and what Romans 12:18 teaches us about our responsibility for peace.

If everyone has to organize themselves around one person to prevent an explosion, that isn’t peace.

Have a question, want to share your story, or interested in one-on-one coaching?

📧 [email protected]

Please like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

#WhenHelpingHurts #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #DysfunctionalFamily #Enabling #Peacemaking #ChristianRecovery #EmotionalAbuse #Recovery #YouWouldThink

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Why do so many people get stuck in addiction recovery—even when they genuinely want to change?

Sometimes the problem is simple: we spend too much time alone in our own heads.

In this episode of You Would Think, I talk about why making a weekly recovery meeting non-negotiable has been one of the most important parts of my recovery.

Addiction thrives in isolation. When I'm alone, I can rationalize unhealthy behavior, turn feelings into facts, justify bad decisions, and convince myself I'm doing better than I actually am.

Recovery puts somebody else in the conversation.

That's why the 12 Steps are written in the context of “we.” James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed. Recovery was never designed to be done alone.

In this episode, we talk about recovery meetings, sponsorship, confession, fellowship, supporting someone you love in recovery, and why meetings aren't just an emergency room when things go wrong—they're also maintenance that helps keep us healthy.

Maturity stops asking your feelings for permission to do what you've already decided is important.

Go when you're struggling.
Go when you're doing great.
Go when you're tired.
And especially go when you've messed up.

Get around people who understand the struggle. Listen to their stories. Let somebody hear yours.

Get out of isolation. Get out of your head.

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching: [email protected]

#AddictionRecovery #Recovery #12Steps #RecoveryMeetings #Sobriety #ChristianRecovery #Sponsorship #SoberLiving #RecoveryCommunity #FaithAndRecovery #YouWouldThink

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What happens when you stop initiating—and the relationship disappears?

In this episode of When Helping Hurts, we talk about one-sided relationships, people-pleasing, codependency, boundaries, and the difference between loving someone and carrying their half of the relationship.

Healthy relationships aren't always 50/50, but they do require mutual participation. Sometimes silence is information, and acceptance means believing what a relationship is showing you instead of continually chasing what you wish it could be.

Using Romans 12:18, we'll look at what it means to “do what depends on you”—and then give the other person room to show you what depends on them.

If someone wants to be in your life, give them room to participate in being in your life.

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching: [email protected] 

#YouWouldThink #WhenHelpingHurts #Relationships #Boundaries #PeoplePleasing #Codependency #ChristianPodcast #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipAdvice #Recovery

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Have you ever reacted emotionally to someone else’s anger, chaos, or criticism—and later wondered why you got involved in the first place?

In this episode of You Would Think, I unpack a simple tool that has helped me with boundaries, codependency, people-pleasing, and emotional reactions:

Be an observer, not a participant.

Our feelings happen fast.

Wisdom usually takes a little longer.

Someone else’s anger, disappointment, or crisis can make us feel like we need to immediately fix, defend, explain, rescue, or respond. But their emotion doesn’t automatically create an assignment for us.

We’ll talk about emotional urgency, healthy boundaries, JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain), and how to create enough space for your thoughts to catch up with your feelings.

James 1:19–20 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

The goal isn’t to become passive or disconnected. It’s to ask:

What am I observing?
What am I feeling?
Does this actually require my participation?
What would a thoughtful response look like instead of an emotional reaction?

You can always choose to participate later. But once you’ve reacted, you can’t always take it back.

Be an observer, not a participant.

If this episode helped you, like, subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

#BeAnObserver #Boundaries #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #EmotionalHealth #HealthyBoundaries #ChristianPodcast #ChristianRecovery #Recovery #EmotionalRegulation #YouWouldThink

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Why do people keep ignoring your boundaries? And how do you set healthy boundaries without trying to control another person?

In this episode, we’re talking about boundaries, codependency, people pleasing, controlling behavior, and how to actually enforce a boundary when someone refuses to respect it.

Because one of the biggest mistakes we make with boundaries is believing they’re supposed to change someone else’s behavior.

“Why won’t they respect my boundary?”

Maybe there’s a better question:

Why aren’t you respecting your boundary?

Sometimes what we call a boundary is really just a request. And sometimes it’s something even harder to admit—an attempt to control another person, their behavior, or an outcome.

As a recovering people pleaser and codependent, one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is this:

A boundary isn’t about controlling what someone else does. A boundary determines what I am going to do in response to what someone else does.

There’s nothing wrong with making requests. Healthy relationships require us to communicate what we want and need. But the other person is free to say no—and sometimes their behavior gives us that answer even when their words don’t.

That’s where codependency can take over.

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching: [email protected]

#Boundaries #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #ChristianRecovery #ChristianBoundaries #Recovery #EmotionalHealth #HealthyBoundaries #LetGoOfControl #Surrender #Relationships #ChristianLiving #Faith #WhenHelpingHurts #YouWouldThink

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What happens when we expect people to know what we need without ever actually telling them?

We tell ourselves things like, “If they cared, they would know,” “I shouldn’t have to ask,” or “If I have to tell them, it doesn’t count.” Then when people fail to meet expectations they never knew existed, disappointment can quickly turn into resentment.

In this episode of You Would Think, we talk about the difference between healthy expectations and misplaced expectations—and why clear communication is one of the kindest things we can bring into a relationship.

I also break down the CLEAR Framework for navigating expectations:

C — Clarify what you actually want
L — Locate the responsibility
E — Express it clearly
A — Allow them to choose
R — Respond to reality

Because your job isn’t to make people respond the way you want them to.

Your job is clarity. Their job is choice.

And sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is stop expecting someone to become who we wish they were and start responding to who they’ve actually shown us they are.

🎙️ One-on-One Recovery & Mental Health Coaching:
[email protected]

#YouWouldThink #Relationships #HealthyRelationships #Communication #Expectations #Boundaries #Codependency #PeoplePleasing #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalHealth #Recovery #LifeCoaching #SelfAwareness

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