Whether you’re single or not, this is your manual to how to get him... to get you! Because duh, the world revolves around us. They just need reminding! Also, why can’t we put our best friends in men’s bodies, because that would be the dream relationship?! Meanwhile, in REAL life… please can we put our romantic emotions in a dumpster, because we have the most mental & irrational thoughts about our love lives. All we want is for men to take responsibility for the sh*t they do, then grovel, so why don’t they? Why do we keep expecting them to soothe us, when they aren’t f*cking made that way? Babe, there isn’t this special pool of men that’s ‘different’. So let’s learn how the f*ck they work instead of stewing on sh*t for weeks, then letting it out in a blind rage. No wonder they act surprised! Let us be your love guru this week, babe.

*Pls note the guy China refers to as ‘the guy she’s dating’ is now (metaphorically ofc) dead and buried. R.I.P buddy.