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Video version:https://podcast.yourcaseforlove.com/podcast/episode-15-expectation-chainversations
Introduction
Tony Dee: 0:18 Hi, I’m Tony Dee, author of “Your Case For Love,” the book, founder of the “Bypass method,” helping you bypass the wrong person so you can get to the right person this time. Also the co-host of Your Case For Love, the podcast.
Liz Merriweather: 0:34 Hi, I’m Liz Merriweather, life coach, psychotherapist, and co-host of Your Case For Love podcast.
Tony Dee: 0:41 Welcome to Your Case For Love.
Guest Introduction
Liz Merriweather: 0:45 In this episode, we’re going to introduce you to Dr. Erin Mayfield.
Today’s Topic: Expectation Conversation
Tony Dee: 1:02 Here’s a little insight into where we go in. We talk about expectation conversations in the book, Your Case For Love. And you may want to pick up your copy because all of these things we’re talking about are in the book, if you’d like to have it all together.
But right now, we’re talking about expectation conversations. And some people start out a relationship, and you meet the person, you acknowledge attraction, and at least within yourself, you start having conversations, then all of a sudden you start having dating conversations.
You never really took the time to get to know that person. You talked about commonalities. But that’s not really expectation conversations. And I’m gonna tell you what happens. Well, I’m gonna let Dr. Erin tell you what happens.
Importance of Chain-versations
Liz Merriweather: 1:49 You know, Tony, we are going to hear from Dr. Erin, but let me just say that I am certain if she and the person she was dating had had these expectation chain-versions, she wouldn’t have ended up in that first codependent marriage. But again, let’s hear her talk about it.
Dr. Erin’s Experience
Dr. Erin Mayfield: 2:06 When I was delivering babies and I was in a codependent relationship and I tried managing all of that, I can look back and see how bad I felt. I didn’t know it at the time. I knew I was tired.
But I didn’t realize how damaging all of that was, how hard I pushed myself, and how much havoc it caused with my personal life and my loving relationships. And even friendships. I mean, it expands to your entire circle of social connection.
And so, I know for me, when I was caught up in all of that, that was it. That was a focus on survival. Taking care of patients, doing the best I could for my pregnant patients, which I loved. I just adored my women. But that was a part of all of this. And it really does.
Once you step back and you can start to adjust and learn how to incorporate healthier ways of living, it’s so rich and so worthwhile that you’ll never go back again.
Liz Merriweather: 3:18 You know, Dr. Erin has talked before about how she did a lot of therapy to get out of that codependent relationship and understand how she got into it in the first place. And I see that with a lot of my courageous clients that come into therapy.
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