I’ll come clean right up front: I’m not a fan of them.

Most New Year’s resolutions are a distant memory by the end of January. That’s because they tend to be vague, “should”-driven, unrealistic, and / or a mash-up of unrelated aspirations.

Like this:

You’re going to supercharge your productivity levels, get in amazing shape, become an organizing genius, volunteer more, start meditating, learn a new language, be more patient, and leap tall buildings in super-cute shoes.

Okay, I’m exaggerating a wee bit, at least about the super-cute shoes and tall buildings :-).

But it’s not that far out of the ballpark, right?

When we adopted her she was five years old, and had already blown through her nine lives (the number normally allotted to cats). She then proceeded to conjure up another dozen+, five of them in the last two years of her miraculously long 18-year life.

And in spite of all the challenges she faced – or maybe because of them – she was pure sweetness and the most relaxed cat I’ve ever encountered.

I had a fairly consistent gratitude practice going before Gems arrived in my life.

But she gets much of the credit for turning my practice into a habit that became so ingrained I could do it in my sleep.

For years my perfectionist ran the show. Of course, I saw it differently: I was responsible, committed, and had high standards. And that was true.

But what I didn’t see were the obstacles my perfectionist threw in my path.

My quest to make everything perfect was stressful, time consuming, and unachievable. I worked way too much because I never made the connection that “good enough” would take less time and would be … well, plenty good.

And my deep desire to make a career change was stuck in the “I wish” stage because I had no time, energy, or mind space left to do the work of figuring out what I really wanted to do professionally.

And then one day a light bulb came on: the ONLY common denominator in all of my experiences was me – which included my perfectionist.

Gulp.

Are you creating the conditions that will allow it to happen?

My friend Robin is superb at creating the conditions to allow what she wants to happen. Five years ago, she opened Simple Bliss, a lovely day spa in Raleigh, and every year she gets closer to fully realizing her vision. A few months ago we had a conversation

I made up a new word a few years ago: contembration. (I occasionally do that when I can’t find a word that’s quite right :-).)

It’s the combination of contemplation and celebration, and it’s something I do a lot of in June.

June brims over with special events in my world. My birthday and wedding and business anniversaries are all in June and this year was a milestone birthday, the kind that ends in zero!

I often hear (or read) these words in my world of professional, leadership, and personal development.

I’m all about not playing small. We do ourselves, and the world, a disservice when we hold back, shrink the space we occupy, damp down our potential, keep our thoughts, opinions, and gifts hidden, or hide our lights.

But I cringe at the idea of juxtaposing big and small when it comes to how and where you choose to play. When presented as an either/or – if you’re not playing big, you’re playing small - the underlying message is that BIGGER is BETTER.

Half the time, Rick would email me minutes before our scheduled time – or even the day after – to “inform” me that we needed to reschedule.

With “grrrr” running through my mind, I’d remind him of my cancellation policy, but I’d still offer another time.

Finally we (yes, both of us) escalated to the “are-you-out-of-your-freaking-mind?!” level.

I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that 2016 is in the rear-view mirror and it’s now 2017.

The transition from December 31st to January 1st is just a single second, as is the changeover from any day to the next, but energetically it’s far from an ordinary changeover.

For the briefest of moments, we experience a clear demarcation between an ending and a beginning.

And so begins that time of year that can be full of fun and joy and has the potential to leave you feeling like you just ran a half-marathon you never signed up for.

There is another choice :-).

Don’t make yourself crazy.

That’s it. That’s the #1 thing NOT to do if you want to enjoy the holidays.

Even when they’re keeping us from going for what we want, comfort zones are comfortable places to be. And we all have at least one pattern that will keep us stuck in our comfort zone, if we aren’t careful. Here are six patterns to be aware of that can derail your success and happiness.