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Your Dumb Judgements and Why You're So Unbelievably Alone
00:00 - I introduce the episode and my guest, Nick. Nick discusses his extensive background in the LA dating scene.
4:42 - I start reading the article, in which I point out the core of why we judge people too much. As soon as we know people, we become way less judgmental, because we know people are more complex than how we initially perceive them, so we're wrongly judging people too early all the time.
6:18 - Nick talks about his 20-minute-in judgements of dating prospects, in which he judges whether or not there's a realistic spark between him and his prospects. He suspects it might be some self sabotage, and he also has issues with having high standards for physical appearance. He doesn't have the same issues judging by personality. I submit that he might place too much pressure on that initial feeling.
12:30 - I read from my article about how we quickly judge people about being mean and douchey, and how often, these judgments are misplaced or exaggerated.
13:56 - Nick talks about how he feels judged in dating, and how he has to work around that.
15:39 - I read from my article about why we like to judge so quickly, and why that is so limiting. I also give examples of some of our dumbest judgements.
17:19 - Nick talks about his history that has led him to place a premium on looks--both in others and in himself, and how he perhaps places a value judgement is on appearance. I encourage him to approach potential love interests looking to see the beauty. He does admit that being open minded would probably make him happier. I also go into detail having watched what women I know use as judgements, and how toxic it is to look for reasons to say no to people.
23:23 - I read from my article about how we look for the wrong things in relationships. I talk about the benefits of letting go of the standards you're holding onto in your head.
25:30 - I talk about how there isn't one person for you, and specific versions of you can work with specific versions of many people. I then ask Nick what he might change in the future. He talks about going on more dates, but doesn't commit to trying to judge less quickly.
27:12 - In my final word, I support Nick's commitment to wanting a spark, and prioritizing that. I maintain that the idea isn't to not have high standards, but to not have bad standards. I encourage people to support every spark they find, and to try to make it grow into a flame. I use the basis of my relationship with my wife as an example.
29:09 - Wrap up
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By Will
5
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00:00 - I introduce the episode and my guest, Nick. Nick discusses his extensive background in the LA dating scene.
4:42 - I start reading the article, in which I point out the core of why we judge people too much. As soon as we know people, we become way less judgmental, because we know people are more complex than how we initially perceive them, so we're wrongly judging people too early all the time.
6:18 - Nick talks about his 20-minute-in judgements of dating prospects, in which he judges whether or not there's a realistic spark between him and his prospects. He suspects it might be some self sabotage, and he also has issues with having high standards for physical appearance. He doesn't have the same issues judging by personality. I submit that he might place too much pressure on that initial feeling.
12:30 - I read from my article about how we quickly judge people about being mean and douchey, and how often, these judgments are misplaced or exaggerated.
13:56 - Nick talks about how he feels judged in dating, and how he has to work around that.
15:39 - I read from my article about why we like to judge so quickly, and why that is so limiting. I also give examples of some of our dumbest judgements.
17:19 - Nick talks about his history that has led him to place a premium on looks--both in others and in himself, and how he perhaps places a value judgement is on appearance. I encourage him to approach potential love interests looking to see the beauty. He does admit that being open minded would probably make him happier. I also go into detail having watched what women I know use as judgements, and how toxic it is to look for reasons to say no to people.
23:23 - I read from my article about how we look for the wrong things in relationships. I talk about the benefits of letting go of the standards you're holding onto in your head.
25:30 - I talk about how there isn't one person for you, and specific versions of you can work with specific versions of many people. I then ask Nick what he might change in the future. He talks about going on more dates, but doesn't commit to trying to judge less quickly.
27:12 - In my final word, I support Nick's commitment to wanting a spark, and prioritizing that. I maintain that the idea isn't to not have high standards, but to not have bad standards. I encourage people to support every spark they find, and to try to make it grow into a flame. I use the basis of my relationship with my wife as an example.
29:09 - Wrap up