Your Encore Life

Welcome to episode 20 of "Your Encore Life". In this episode we are continuing our series on finding joy. We have discussed the difference between happiness and joy, The Joy Model from the book with the same name with the emphasis on being and doing and the importance of balance between those. Episode 18 we began talking about the acronym MASTER from the Joy Model, with the importance of having "M"argin in your life. Episode 19 we talked about "A"bide, or to be with or live with, referring to making God the center of our lives. Today we will be talking about the S in MASTER, which is self-awareness.

An article by Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. in Psychology Today, they state Self-awareness involves, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It is important, because it's a major mechanism influencing personal developmentSelf-awareness involves monitoring our stress

Self-awareness requires self-examination to become more aware of your strengths and weaknesses regarding your well-being). Be aware, though, that an honest, non-judgmental self-analysis isn't easy. We tend to berate ourselves for our failings or fantasize about how great we are, when neither is actually the case. We all have a mix of good and bad traits, but we are largely unaware of them. In order to self-reflect objectively, we need to quiet our minds and open our hearts, forgiving ourselves for our imperfections and offering ourselves kudos, but only where we deserve them.

Increasing self-awareness of false attitudes or inappropriate behaviors requires peace of mind, time, attention and focus. Knowing ahead of time that we can indeed change in positive ways through deeper self-awareness makes it worth working on those personal qualities we most value. But first we must look within ourselves through self-examination to see what's there, which is often less obvious than we think.

In the book "The Joy Model" that I have been using as a guideline for this series, Jeff Spadafora say self-awareness "is more than just knowing your skills and talents. It's about knowing how you relate to God, how you communicate with others, how you think and process information, what things you avoid, what you are passionate about, and other components the are unique to you. He goes on and talks about the false attitudes as a false self, saying it "is a character, personality, title, position, and identity that we have built up for public display over the years. The energy we put into portraying this False Self to the world is rooted in the emotions of fear, anger, shame, guilt, greed, pride, lust, jealousy, etc." "People only detach from these emotions and the False Self when they are confident they have a safety net of God's love to fall into.

Why do we create this False Self for a public display? Why can't we be comfortable with who we are, who God created us to be. The realization that God loves us unconditionally and invites us to come as we are to Him gives me a tremendous sense of calm and peace. I know how often I have used my False Self to be accepted, to make an impression, to try to climb the corporate ladder, to make people like me or impress them. We seek acceptance so much that we often stifle our true selves. If we can rest in the acceptance that the all powerful Creator of the Universe loves us as we were created to be by Him, we can give up the False Self and experience joy as our True Self.

The article in Psychology Today I referenced earlier writes of several ways we can build self-awareness. They include:

• Walking, especially in the quiet of nature, can be useful in building self-awareness. The mind tends to wander along with our feet, so with a little conscious nudging (and walking), we can examine our part in something that is happening in our lives now — at work, in social situations, in our relationships, or within the family.
• Practicing mindfulness can increase self-awareness.Mindfulness includes focused attention in the moment to whatever one is doing, and involves practices such as meditation or quieting of the mind.
• Becoming a good listener can increase self-awareness. "Getting out of ourselves" by focusing on another person is a good antidote to stop downward spirals of self-destructive thinking.
• Journaling is a good way to become more self-aware. By writing your thoughts or stream-of-consciousness ideas, you begin opening up to those vulnerable places within. It is here that the mother lode of self-awareness dwells.
• Feedback from others can help you be more self-aware. Since we are our own best audience, we may miss something in our self-appraisal. That's where the objectivity of others can be most helpful in self-assessment. If you have the courage, ask a friend or acquaintance their opinion of you, or ask about how you managed some project you worked on together or how you handled yourself in some quirky situation.
• Self-awareness can help you know your strengths and weaknesses.

There are many assessments that can help you become more self-aware. One of my favorites is the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment. I am a certified Strengths Champion Coach and truly believe that this assessment has tremendous value in clarifying your strengths and how to best utilize them and how to manage what may be weaknesses while focusing on your strengths. There are many others as well, such as the DISC profile and the Enneagram, which has gained popularity of late. If you would like to discuss any of this with me please reach out. I will offer my podcast listeners a special on the Clifton Strengths assessment and a 60 minute coaching session to clarify your results.

Spadafora warns that "if you are truly honest as you examine yourself, you will start to get some clarity on what to do at both the spiritual (being) and practical (doing) levels, but rarely will you get full clarity. The temptation for many is to stay in the introspection mode of building self-awareness for too long." He refers to this as "perpetual naval gazing".

Bob Buford in his book "Halftime", suggests doing what he refers to as "low cost probes" that move you from introspection to action. Things such as volunteering to serve meals at a homeless shelter if your heart aches for the homeless, or at a pregnancy center that promotes life if abortion breaks your heart as it does the heart of Jesus. If kids that don't have a father figure or are on the foster care system tugs at your heart, be a mentor to a kid through the school system or local foster care program.

As you become more in tune with your true self, start dreaming again. The sad truth is that most adults stop dreaming when they reach their mid 20's.

Action Item: Write down your answer to the following question: If time, money, and failure weren't obstacles, what would you do with your life?

That is a powerful question to ponder, but allow yourself to dream again.

Join us next week we will be talking about the "T" in the acronym MASTER, which is treasure.

Resources:

What is Self-Awareness, and How do You Get It?: Psychology Today

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model and HalfTime

Bible Gateway

Contact Craig

Here we are with part 4 of Finding Lasting Joy. If you have followed this series since the start at episode 16, you will remember the discussion about the difference between happiness and joy, episode 17 talked about the Joy Model from the book by Jeff Spadafora and how we need to balance being and doing to end up being a joyful follower of Christ. This will resonate if you are a person of faith, but if you are not, the concepts of being and doing still apply and the balance is still the same to lead to joy and satisfaction.. In episode 18, we talked about the importance of having margin in your life so you have time to do the things that are most important. Margin was the "M" in the Acronym MASTER. I am getting this acronym from "The Joy Model" book that I have referenced often in this series and point to in the show notes. I am getting some of the material for these episodes from that book, but am also pulling from other resources which I will reference and from experience.

In this episode, I want to talk about the "A" in the acronym, and it stand for abiding. What do we mean by abiding? For purposes of this discussion, we will define it as "to be with" or "to live with", and I am referring to God. This falls on the Being axis as part of the question who is God, who am I. Next week we will discuss the "who am I?" question as we talk about self awareness, the S in the acronym MASTER.

I am stating boldly that true joy can be yours when you are spending your time and living with God at the center of your life. John 15:4 says "Abide in Me, and I will abide in you". Hear the words of Jesus promising that He will be in true relationship with us if we will be in true relationship with him. He wants us to experience the lasting joy with Him.

Many may feel the Bible is filled with rules that are meant to stifle our joy, but they are the Word of a God that wants us to experience lasting joy filled with peace and purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV says: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

The world bombards us with thoughts that true happiness and joy come with money, prestige, cars, sex, elaborate vacations, and so on. None of these things are necessarily bad if they aren't "idols" in our lives, putting them on a higher level than God, and we need to have them while honoring God and having gratitude for them. But seeking these things to see joy is like "chasing the wind" as we talked about last week, leaving us seeking for what's next since we still feel empty.

Romans 12:2 New International Version (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Spadafora states that:

• Our lives won't change until we change what we focus on and put our energy into.
• Our focus and energy won't change unless what we value in life changes.
• Our values won't change unless our thinking changes.
• Our thinking won't change unless we start putting the right stuff into our brains in the first place.

Garbage in - Garbage out

Philippians 4:8 New International Version (NIV) Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

How do we abide?

• Read and study the Bible: The Bible is truly the Word of God. It can speak to you as you read. Even particular scriptures can speak to you differently depending on how God wants to speak to you. That is why they call it the living word of God. There are many ways to "read" the Bible. It can be confusing and frustrating for many just to try to read it cover to cover. Our church did a series called "The Story" and you can purchase the book, which is the Bible written in chronological order. It really helped bring each book of the Bible into perspective. You can read or listen to it with Bible apps that are available. I have the YouVersion Bible app on my phone and it has many reading plans that are topical, plus a verse of the day. You can read it from your computer or phone or listen to it. I take the verse of the day every morning and expand it to the entire chapter and listen to it during my devotional time.
• Meditate/memorize: Take quiet time while reading to be still and listen to what you are reading, asking God to open your eyes and ears to what He would have you hear.
• Prayer: Matthew 7:7-12 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
• Silence/Solitude: Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God
• Christian Camaraderie: We are better together. Find a small group or group of friends that you can spend time with and support each other. We still need to spend time with non-believers and show them love like Jesus did.
• Fasting: This is a way to become more mindful of God through disrupting our routine by doing without. It doesn't necessarily need to be food, but something that you intentionally do without that will make you focus on God. Make sure you do it safely, especially if you have any medical conditions that you should seek your doctors permission before proceeding.
• Music/Nature: As I am putting together this podcast, I am spending a time of solitude in the mountains. I feel closest to God when I am surrounded by His beautiful creation, and I am listening to music while I am here, particularly when I get lonely, which helps me know that God is with me.

Lastly, Spadafora states that "Abiding in God moves us from focus on the self to focus on God."

Action item: Commit to a daily routine to read scripture, spend quiet time, and be in prayer. Find margin in your life to spend at least 15 minutes daily, longer if needed and able. Do this instead of filling your head with garbage from the morning or evening news. I promise you if you commit to do this, you will find more peace and clarity in your life. Abiding is the key to finding true and lasting joy!

Next week we will talk about the "S" in MASTER: Self-Awareness

Resources:

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model

The Story Chronological Bible on Amazon

Bible Gateway

Contact Craig

Today we will continue our topic on finding joy. During the previous 2 weeks in episodes 16 and 17, we talked about the difference between happiness and joy. As you may recall, Jeff Spadafora in the book "The Joy Model" states that "differentiating joy from the term most often used interchangeably (and incorrectly) with joy: happiness. Happiness is circumstantial. Joy, on the other hand, continues despite circumstances. I also talked about the model itself and how you need a balance between being and doing. In review:

• Being - Who is God….Who am I?
• Doing - What should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, and tribe?

The Joy Model is based on four quadrants with a vertical axis labeled as doing (what should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, tribe) and the horizontal axis labeled as being (Who is God, who am I). The bottom left square is "The frustrated believer". The bottom right is labeled "The Heartless Hypocrite". The top left is labeled "The Weary Worker", and the top right is labeled "The Joyful Follower". As you may have figured out from the quadrant, moving to the top right is the goal and it requires a balance of being and doing. Without the balance, focusing on being will lead you from a frustrated believer to a heartless hypocrite, where focusing only on doing will lead you from a frustrated believer to a weary worker. Integrating your being and your doing, knowing who you are and using your strengths and talents to add value to others, the community, and world which we live will bring joy.

Today's episode, number 18, we are going to take a deep dive into the "M" of the acronym, MASTER. We will spend the entire episode on this because it is such a key ingredient in leading a joyful life. The M is for margin.

Futurists back in the 50's and 60's predicted that with the advent of technology and other innovations that would free the human race from menial tasks, the average work week would be 24 hours, giving us unprecedented time for rest and relaxation. So how has that bold prediction worked for us? A Harris poll indicated that the average time for leisure has shrunk by 37% since 1973, and the average workweek since that time has gone from 41 to 47 hours.

In his excellent book, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, Richard Swenson, M.D. describes margin like this:

Margin is the space between our load and our limits. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating.

How do we find margin? If we look at efficiency, we just need to do what we are already doing faster. Building quality, realistic margin in your life isn't so much about efficiency and time management as it is about exploring our personal values. We must remember that saying yes to one thing always means saying no to something else. If you don't know what your values and priorities are, you will say yes to anything that looks like it could bring benefit to yourself and bring joy. The problem is, what brings you lasting joy?

Jeff Spadafora in "The Joy Model" says "There's something one level deeper than our values that compels us to work so hard and overcommit ourselves. It's the False Self, which is rooted in fear, guild, comfort, pride, and/or greed and drives us to act in a way that we desperately hope will lead to the approval of others. He poses these questions to answer what is at the root of your business:

• "Is it fun, energizing activity and work that is a natural outflow of who you are and what you really believe in? Or is it driven by
• Fear
• Pride
• Jealousy
• Selfishness
• Greed
• Boredom
• The desire to impress others
• Low self-esteem"

I know from working for many years for a large organization that many see business and rushing from one task to another as a badge of honor, but when you look hard at their accomplishments, they are really just running themselves ragged without accomplishing quality work. What I did see far too often is broken families and relationships, poor health, living for the weekend, and living for when they can retire. That is not joy.

It isn't hard to find people or hear of people who boast (or complain) of long hours, little sleep, no breaks, and many may move up the career ladder. But many of those people end up in crisis, which can happen at any point in your life.

What about as we retire, shouldn't we have margin then? How many people retire and you hear them say they are busier than ever. That's OK if the business results in fun and energizing activities that are an outflow of who you are and what you believe. But so many have things they want to accomplish in their encore life but keep repeating the phrase "I don't know where the time went." They have goals and dreams for their encore life and they find themselves 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years later still hoping to have time to accomplish them, and still are not experiencing joy.

In an article by Lifehacker Magazine titled "Why You Need More Margin in Your Life (and How to Get it), they offer a few tips to help you find more margin. They include:

• Get more sleep - 6.5 - 8 hours of sleep is needed by most people. Make that non-negotiable
• Take advantage of Pareto - The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule, the law of the vital few, or the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. Focus on the 20% that gives you the best results and let some of the rest go. We will talk more about the Pareto Principal in a future episode.
• Give yourself an extra 15 minutes more than you think to get places and accomplish things. I am a master at underestimating how much time it takes to get places and do things.
• Find ways to limit time on social media - Yes, this one comes up again. Take advantage of some of the new features like screen time on iPhones and iPads and make it a point to reduce social media time, even impose limits on yourself.

They go on to say:"Margin has to be cultivated. Spend time every three months looking at your schedule and how you spend your time. Is there anything that can be removed? Are there 15 minute opportunities that you're missing? Are you using your down time to truly recharge? By being honest with yourself and ruthless about your priorities you can increase the likelihood that you stay happy and engaged at work and at home.

The Bible says that King Solomon is the wisest and richest man to ever live. Economic historians state that in terms of percentage of the worlds total wealth, King Solomon was wealthier than John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie combined. For reference, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet don't make the top 10 all time list. King Solomon states in the Bible:

Ecclesiastes 1:14 New International Version (NIV)

14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

I leave you with this action item. Don't chase after the wind, be still and listen to it for a moment as you consider what your values and priorities are and what one thing you can do to make more time for them. Start by taking care of yourself.

"As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge" -Henry Van Dyke (Writer, Professor, Clergymen)

Resources:

How to Create More Margin in Your Life: Michael Hyatt

Why You Need More Margin in Your Life: Lifehacker

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model

Bible Gateway

Contact Craig

Last week we discussed the difference between happiness and joy. In review from last week, let's look again at a what Psychology Today stated:

Happiness is external. It's based on situations, events, people, places, things, and thoughts. Happiness is future-oriented and it puts all its eggs in someone else's basket. It is dependent on outside situations, people, or events to align with your expectations so that the end result is your happiness. But happiness is not joy because joy is not external, it can't be bought and it is not conditional on someone else's behavior. In fact, joy is not contingent on anything in order to exist.

If you are someone who is at or near retirement age and facing a time of transition, the opportunity to experience joy can be more within reach as you can focus your time on what is most important, or more fleeting as you move from having your course charted for you, at least partially by your job or career, to seeking what's next and how to best spend your time. Today we will be introducing The Joy Model from the book written by Jeff Spadafora, director of the halftime institute. You will find the references to this book in the show notes.

As you know I am a man of faith and place my trust in Jesus Christ. This book is very faith based and the joy model is based two principals:

• Being - Who is God….Who am I?
• Doing - What should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, and tribe?

If you are a person of faith the message of joy from this book will resonate. If you are not, there are concepts that you will be able to relate to. Everyone ponders the question of being and doing and asks themselves the questions who am I and what should I be doing, or what is my calling. We will start with how joy is defined in The Joy Model which relates very well to last weeks podcast. If you haven't listened to episode 16 from last week, I encourage you to go back after finishing this episode.

Jeff Spadafora starts by "differentiating joy from the term most often used interchangeably (and incorrectly) with joy: happiness. Happiness is circumstantial. When things are great at work, in our marriages, in our bank accounts, and with the kids, we are happy. But when our relationships get rocky, work becomes a drag, our investments tank, or the kids start misbehaving, happiness evaporates. Joy, on the other hand, continues despite circumstances. Spadafora often uses the words peace, comfort, and fulfillment interchangeably with joy.

We discussed the formula E + R = O in episode 7, or how your response that you can control can have a positive impact on the outcome of any event, which you may not have any control over. Understanding this can impact your joy ultimately, and here is why. Even though Spadafora states that joy is not dependent on circumstances, he does say "you can improve your circumstances and your levels of joy by taking action on things that are within your control, such as your health, relationships, finances, career, and getting them in alignment with God's ways, and subsequently your'll find both your circumstances and your joy will improve. He goes on to say "It's about obedience, about applying God's principals to the parts of life you have control over".

If you are a person of faith and you don't feel you are experiencing the joy that is supposed to come as a result of that faith, you may feel guilty, resulting in a negative mindset that you don't have a strong enough relationship with and trust in Jesus to experience joy, or the being question. It could result in feeling that you aren't reading the bible enough, aren't sharing your faith enough, or aren't DOING enough to experience joy from your faith.

The Joy Model is based on four quadrants with a vertical axis labeled as doing (what should I do with my time, talent, treasure, temple, tribe) and the horizontal axis labeled as being (Who is God, who am I). The bottom left square is "The frustrated believer". The bottom right is labeled "The Heartless Hypocrite". The top left is labeled "The Weary Worker", and the top right is labeled "The Joyful Follower". As you may have figured out from the quadrant, moving to the top right is the goal and it requires a balance of being and doing. Without the balance, focusing on being will lead you from a frustrated believer to a heartless hypocrite, where focusing only on doing will lead you from a frustrated believer to a weary worker. Integrating your being and your doing, knowing who you are and using your strengths and talents to add value to others, the community, and world which we live will bring joy. Two verses in the Bible that speak to this topic are Galatians 5:22-23 for being and Ephesians 2:10 for doing.

Galatians 5:22-23 New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Ephesians 2:10 New International Version (NIV)

10 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Action Item: Think about theses questions: Where are you on the continuum of being, knowing you are and who God is? Where are you on the continuum of doing, knowing what you should do with your time, talents, and treasures. Are they balanced and is the point of convergence heading to the upper right? What one area do you need to focus on this week to get the balance you need to point toward joy?

"The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives." Russel M. Nelson

"Comparison is the thief of joy." Theodore Roosevelt

Next week we will look at a specific plan, a MASTER plan, to help fill the gap from where you are to the joy you so desire.

Resources:

Psychology Today: Joy vs. Happiness

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model

Bible Gateway

Contact Craig

During the next few episodes we will be talking about joy and experiencing a life of joy, even in times of sadness. In this episode we will discuss the difference between happiness and joy.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of joy and happiness: Joy is the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.

Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment; a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

An article in Psychologies Magazine states: Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very different. Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events. They suggest 3 things that you can do to help foster joy.

1. Meditation.

It's important to be able to tap into your heart rather than your head, your intuition rather than your thinking mind. Quietening the chatter in your mind and creating space within allows you to listen more closely to what brings you joy.

2. Cut down on social media.

We are so heavily influenced by what we 'should like/do/have/buy' that this so often is not in line with what truly brings us joy. For many of us, social media has become a necessity in our day. If ditching social media altogether is not an option, think about how you can cut down on it.

3. Keep a journal and practice gratitude for the things that bring you joy.

Cultivate gratitude wherever possible and even have gratitude for the things that challenge you, as these help you to grow and build strength. This also helps to define what brings you joy and what doesn't.

Having an attitude of gratitude makes us more appreciative and trusting, gives us better self-esteem and helps us bounce back from stress. It allows us to view the world, and our situation within this world, in a more positive, healthy way.

An article I reference in Psychology Today states: Happiness is external. It's based on situations, events, people, places, things, and thoughts. Happiness is future-oriented and it puts all its eggs in someone else's basket. It is dependent on outside situations, people, or events to align with your expectations so that the end result is your happiness. But happiness is not joy because joy is not external, it can't be bought and it is not conditional on someone else's behavior. In fact, joy is not contingent on anything in order to exist.

Making a large purchase of something that you have wanted can make you happy, but does it cause you joy. How many times have you been so happy because of something you acquired, such as a new car, house, boat, clothes, and the list goes on. How often can you say, knowing what we have heard about the difference between joy and happiness, has the acquisition ended up giving you joy? How often has it resulted in regrets?

We will be talking about why joy can be so elusive, even when we experience happiness. We will talk about why people experience joy even while living in the darkest places or experiencing great difficulty. Much of the discussion will take place around the book The Joy Model by Jeff Spadafora of the Halftime Institute.

Action Item: Send me a comment about what makes you experience joy, or what you feel is keeping you from experiencing a sense of joy. Email your comments to [email protected] or put them in the comments section under the show notes for this episode at craigcoilecoaching.com/encore. While you are doing this, please take time to leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform.

Joy, feeling one's own value, being appreciated and loved by others, feeling useful and capable of production are all factors of enormous value for the human soul. - Maria Montessori

The exercise of benevolence is joy to loving hearts: the more pain it costs, the more joy it is. Kind actions make us happy, and in such joy we find communion with the great heart of Jesus. -Charles Spugeon

Resources:

Psychologies: Joy vs. Happiness

Psychology Today: Joy vs. Happiness

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model

Contact Craig

We have spent a great deal of time since the beginning of this podcast on big life issues such as living an intentional life, how you respond to any event allows you to have some control over the outcome, avoiding living a life with regrets, having a vision, purpose and mission, and developing a life plan and setting goals around your life plan. We also heard from Mark Ross on what living in your encore life means and the stages of the process, and what his encore life looks like. As I reviewed my life plan and pondered on the areas that I have done well in and the areas I haven't, there was one of my life accounts that I have neglected, one that I'm sure many neglect because it seems it may be of lesser importance that the others. Let me tell you which one it is and why it is of huge importance.

The account that I have neglected the most is avocational. Thoughtco says an avocation is a hobby or any other activity taken up in addition to one's regular work; it may especially refer to something that is a person's "true" passion or interest. A vocation is one's principal occupation, often used in the context of a calling to a particular way of life or course of action.

My specific commitments in my avocational life account say

• I will designate an outdoor hobby that I will participate in regularly, such as biking, hiking, fishing, boating, etc.
• I will begin learning to play the guitar.

Even my specific commitments aren't specific and certainly don't come close to being a SMART goal. I have done some of each of the outdoor activities, but not "regularly", whatever that means. I also signed up for an online guitar tutorial 3 years ago and haven't started yet. The rest of this episode is to convince you not to be like me and to convince me that it is very important to take this life account seriously.

In an article from Best Medicine by Renown Health titled "7 Reasons Why Hobbies are Good for Your Health", Christopher D. Stanton, MD, with Renown Medical Group shares some of his favorite hobbies and the benefits past times can have on your health.

Mentally or physically demanding hobbies, such as playing music and chess and bridge, reading a complex book, or doing physically demanding exercise can definitely help with brain function.

7 Health Benefits of Having a Hobby

• Social Support. Hiking, bowling, Bunko or book clubs are all examples of group-related hobbies. Bonding with others adds social support to your life which helps lower stress.
• Take a Break. Hobbies allow you to take a break while still having a sense of purpose. Hobbies give you time to relax and refocus energy.
• Save Money. Buying second-hand or garage sale items you can refurbish such as book shelves, garden pots or old frames can save you money. Plus, you'll be recycling! It's good for your heart and the planet.
• Hobbies allow you to stay present and in the zone. This calms the nerves and creates a sense of well-being.
• Satisfaction. Seeing a project through can create a sense of satisfaction. That once dilapidated bookshelf you sanded, painted and decorated for your child's room can provide a great sense of accomplishment.
• Balance. Hobbies provide balance in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Spending the day with your kids is great and then balancing that with a night of bowling with friends helps you refocus, energize and feel more prepared to take on life's challenges.
• Positive Stress. Eustress or "Good Stress." As Dr. Stanton points out, Eustress helps us view stressors in our lives as challenges rather than threats. This is the type of positive stress that keeps us vital and excited about life. By looking forward to your Tango dance lesson and meeting new people, you can trigger Eustress.

An article in the Huffington Post titled "Healthy Hobbies that will Improve Your Health" states: "Practicing a lifestyle of holistic wellness includes more than eating right and working out. It also includes making time for yourself and doing what you love. Spending your down time on your favorite hobbies benefits your overall wellbeing in many ways.

According to a 2015 study, engaging in leisure activities was defined as "self-selected, self-rewarding behavioral pursuits that take place during non-work time." Participants in this study who engaged in leisure activities were found to be happier, less bored, less stressed, and had lower heart rates. Leisure activities were also implied to be a great way to increase productivity and job performance, as they help boost creativity and give your brain a much-needed break."

There are many hobbies that can be turned into fun and healthy activities. Here are eleven of them:

• Dancing. This pastime has been shown to promote heart health, strengthen bones, and manage a healthy weight. Not only is dancing wonderful exercise, but it's a lot of fun too! There are many different types of dancing, from hip-hop to ballroom. Taking some dancing classes will help you discover which type of dancing suits you the best, plus you'll meet some new friends too!
• Cooking. Learning to cook nutritious meals is great for your health and wallet. Cooking healthy meals at home meals saves you money in the long-run, and it's a great way to bond with your family as well.
• Volunteering. Having a presence in your community is great for your emotional and social health. Volunteering can help keep you physically and mentally active. Giving back will also give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
• Gardening. There are many unexpected health benefits of gardening. Getting your hands dirty has been shown to decrease stress and promote self-esteem. It's also a great way to get in some physical activity while it improves your hand strength and dexterity. Another perk of gardening? Beautiful flowers to decorate your home and delicious vegetables to add to your dinner!
• Owning a pet. Animals have been shown to improve well being on both a physical and mental level. Owning a pet decreases the risk of depression, stress, and anxiety. On the physical side of things, owning a pet has been shown to lower blood pressure and help keep you active.
• Music. While music can be difficult to pick up after a certain age, it's definitely not impossible. Playing an instrument is fantastic for boosting creativity and happiness. Music also improves visual and verbal skills and reduces depression and anxiety.
• Yoga. One of the best things about yoga is that is beneficial for any age and any fitness level. Yoga increases physical strength, boosts energy, and promotes cardio and circulatory health. Yoga is also an excellent way to practice mindfulness, which will leave you less stressed and more productive.
• Walking. Regular brisk walking is incredible for weight management and your overall physical health. While walking may not sound like the ideal way to spend your free time, walking clubs and hiking make this healthy hobby and an enjoyable and versatile way to live better.
• Traveling. Planning a trip and hitting the road is sincerely satisfying for anyone who loves to explore or try something new. Traveling and experiencing new cultures shifts your perspective and promotes self-discovery. It offers you a chance to meet and connect with people so you can learn and grow. Traveling will also keep you active and on your feet.
• Reading. Pick up a book! The mental benefits of reading are too good to pass up. Reading has been shown to increase mental stimulation, reduce stress, improve memory, and boost concentration. Not only is reading a good book fun and entertaining, it also produces a sense of tranquility and wellbeing.
• Writing. Journaling, blogging or even creative writing serves as an outlet for self-expression. Writing for leisure has been shown to reduce stress and improve sleep. If you chose to share your writing with the public, it's also a great way to form connections with other people who have similar interests.

An article published by the Australian Government Department of Health titled "Purposeful Activities - Hobbies" states:

Spending time on an activity that you enjoy can improve your mental health and wellbeing. Research shows that people with hobbies are less likely to suffer from stress, low mood, and depression. Activities that get you out and about can make you feel happier and more relaxed. Group activities like team sports can improve your communication skills and relationships with others.

Your interests may be creative, athletic, academic, or something distinctly personal. You may choose a hobby that you can do alone or as part of a group. Whatever your interests are, there is sure to be a hobby out there for you. What matters is that it is something you find meaningful and enjoyable.

This article gives four specific types of hobbies and the corresponding benefits. They are:

• Recreational and relaxation activities reduce stress
• Getting involved in a creative activity or hobby can make you feel better the next day
• Exploring creatively with others will support recovery from mental health problems
• Physical activity through sports helps to enhance well being

The article that I have included in the show notes gives the specifics for each of these benefits and the research behind it.

My new specific commitments for avocational are:

• I will participate in an outdoor activity a minimum of 2 times per week beginning January 2020 which will include hiking, biking, fishing, kayaking, etc.
• I will begin lesson 1 of the guitar tutorial the week of January 20th and adjust this commitment as I see what is involved to make satisfactory progress (to be determined once I begin).

Action Item: Ask yourself: "What specific hobby do I have that I need to spend more time doing for pure enjoyment and to take advantage of the health benefits"? If you don't have a hobby or activity, I suggest you spend time exploring the links I provided in the show notes or find other resources to help you determine where to start.

Resources:

Definition of Avocation - ThoughtCo

7 Reasons Why Hobbies are Good for Your Health: Best Medicine by Renown Health

Healthy Hobbies that will Improve Your Life

Head to Health: Australian Government Department of Health

Contact Craig

Now that we are at the beginning of a new year and a new decade, we are bound to be envisioning the future, at least the next year. Hopefully many of you have set goals or New Years resolutions and have a plan to be part of the 8% that keep the resolutions and not the 92% that don't. Better yet, you may have created a life plan as we discussed over the past few weeks as the structure, or framework from which you can hang your goals.

This can also be a great time to reflect on the previous year and celebrate accomplishments and milestones, but there is bound to be hard things, plans and hopes that went unfulfilled, even events that caused heartache.

This is what I see as I look back on 2019:

• Birth of our first grandchild
• Loss of my mother just days later
• Birth of a second grandchild
• Long career that I needed to close out earlier than expected
• New beginnings in my encore
• Loss of my father in law
• Loss of a beloved uncle

I hope that sharing my story has resonated with some of you. I hope that you can see the joy of things to be celebrated, the sorry of loved ones lost, while being forever grateful to have had them in your life and the lessons learned from their legacies. I hope that you can see how planning your career and future can end up very differently from what you planned and maybe hoped for, but how that can often turn into being a gift, a blessing from God to be given the opportunity to take care of more important things, to grow from the trial, and for new beginnings.

Action Item for this week:

Reflect back on 2019 and think about what you can celebrate, be grateful for, and given you opportunities for growth. Then envision 2020 and how you can carry on the successes and turn the struggles from the past into growth opportunities for your envisioned future.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" (Isaiah 43:18-19). God tells us, even in the Old Testament, that He is doing a new thing. A new thing is a good thing. He is making a WAY for us in the wilderness, He is giving us streams of living water in times we are in the wastelands.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:17). There it is! Right on the pages of God's Word we are told that we are being made new. We can choose to believe it and walk in that truth, or we can deny the power of God and His power to change even the deadest of hearts into hearts softened with love. He is making all things new, He is bringing the dead back to life!

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." —Mary Pickford

"And now let us welcome the new year, full of things that never were." —Rainer Maria Rilke

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you're not going to stay where you are." —John Pierpont "J.P." Morgan

Resources:

• AARP Family Caregiving Resources
• Bible verses for "New Beginnings" on crosswalk.com
• Contact Craig

New Years Resolutions - Setting Goals For 2020 That Won't End Up a Negative Statistic

I am excited about this podcast as we enter into a new year. Some things I have planned are:

• Many awesome guests with great stories and experiences of what living your best encore life looks like
• Having a place where listeners can go to leave voice messages that we can share on the podcast of you, the listeners of this podcast can share your encore stories, struggles, and questions.

Since we have ended our 3 session series on life planning I want to give you a few tips on making sure you get the most out of the process and life plan:

• Take a full day or two away in an uninterrupted place, away from home and work if possible to create your life plan
• Review it daily at first, weekly at a minimum
• Do a thorough review and modify accordingly at least quarterly
• Take time away, similar to what you did when you first wrote it away from familiar places with interruptions yearly to do a complete review and modify or rewrite sections that are no longer priority based on the season of your life and changes that may have occurred during the past year.

While 77 percent of people who committed to a New Year's resolution stuck to it for at least a week, research conducted by the University of Scranton reveals that only eight percent of people who make New Year's resolutions will actually fulfill those goals in a timely fashion—if ever.

According to data pulled from Google by iQuanti, the most common resolutions made in the New Year are usually centered around getting healthy or simply living life to its fullest.

Now that you have an idea or may have started or completed your life plan, you have a framework for which all goals, or New Years Resolutions should fit. Let's look at an example for the life account of physical. You may realize that you are 100 pounds beyond what your ideal weight should be. You have identified that in your life account as the current reality and have detailed your ideal weight in the envisioned future. You have made specific commitments to begin January 2nd to follow a specific diet plan and specified how you will increase your physical activity beginning now. Remember to make your specific commitments incremental and revise them in your life plan as you meet them. Now you want to make a New Years Resolution, or goal for 2020 that gets you closer to your envisioned future of being at the ideal weight. It might sound like this:

I will weight xxx (-20 lbs.) by June 1, 2020, or xxx (-80 lbs.) by December 31, 2020. You can also make longer term goals, like 3-5 years out, stating that you will weigh xxx (-100 lbs.) by December 31, 2023.

Remember from last week using the formula for creating SMART goals:

• Specific - What exactly are you committing to? Non-negotiable
• Measurable - Quantify the result
• Actionable - Must start with an action verb such as run, walk, complete, quit…
• Realistic - Must be attainable, but best if it stretches you
• Time-Bound - Must have a time period that you will commit to, such as frequency, how many, … Goals must have completed by or due date

You can find as many suggestions and resources as you can absorb on how to set and write goals. I have found that the goals I have get accomplished when I plug them into my life plan's life accounts. You need to find the strategy that makes most sense to you. We all learn and grow differently. There is a strategy that many people have found very effective using the 12 Week Year Plan. I have included a link to information about that in the show notes.

From the "Transformed Small Group Study" by Rick Warren, the question is asked "What Kind of Goal Does God Bless? Three questions to answer that are:

• Will this honor God? "We make it our goal to please him" - 2Corinthians 5:9 (NIV)
• Is the goal motivated by love? "Let love be your highest goal" -1Corinthians 14:1 (NLT)
• Will this goal require you to depend on God? "We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it" - Proverbs 16:9 (Mes)

Action Item: Write 1-3 goals that are most important for you to begin your journey to your envisioned future. Don't make a laundry list that you get lost with. Make them not only SMART but exciting for you.

Next week we are going to discuss reflecting on this past year and envisioning 2020, and I'll share some of my personal reflections on a year that has had the best and most difficult events come about, and on my entry into the encore phase of my life.

"The best way to predict the future is to create it" - Dan Miller Begin creating your best encore life in 2020. Happy New Year!

Resources:

• "Living Forward" by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy
• "This is How Many People Actually Stick to New Years Resolutions"
• "Get Perfect Vision 2020" :Dan Miller's 48 Days to the Work You Love Goal Setting Worksheet
• "The 12 Week Year"
• Transformed Small Group Study - Rick Warren
• Contact Craig

In this 3rd episode of the series "2020 Vision for 2020", we are going to go over the specific commitments section of the life plan. Just a quick overview of where we have come since beginning this series on life planning:

Episode 10 we talked about beginning with the end in mind by writing down what legacy you want to leave. The action step was to write what people you designated would say when they eulogize you or after.

Episode 11 we talked about creating categories in your life plan, or what the book "Living Forward" refers to as life accounts. This includes areas like Spiritual, Intellectual, Physical, Spouse, Children, Co-worker, etc. and writing a purpose statement for each, a statement of vision for where you want to be for your envisioned future when this category is at its best, a statement of current reality, and if applicable an inspiring quote or scripture.

Today is where we form an action plan, or make specific commitments for each life account that will eventually bridge the gap between our current reality and our envisioned future of where we need to be. It is important to write you commitments as SMART goals.

• Specific - What exactly are you committing to? Non-negotiable
• Measurable - Quantify the result
• Actionable - Must start with an action verb such as run, walk, complete, quit…
• Realistic - Must be attainable, but best if it stretches you
• Time-Bound - Must have a time period that you will commit to, such as frequency, how many, … Goals must have completed by or due date

Make a list of action items for each one of your life categories, or accounts.

Since a life plan is a living, breathing document, make your specific commitment action items incremental while still stretching yourself. An example may be:

Physical Life Account:

A goal you may have for 2020 would be to run a 5K by the first day of summer. You can create a specific commitment to go out and walk/run 4 days a week for 30 minutes. That may mean you just walk four doors down the street in the first 2 weeks, 1/2 block after 4 weeks, incrementally increasing until 45 minutes isn't enough, so increase your commitment to 45 minutes, then 60 minutes.

Specific Commitment: Action commitment to do something to get you from your current reality and your envisioned future.

Goals: dictionary.com defines a goal as: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end. Goals will need to be written in the SMART format as well, with the time bound being a specific date to accomplish it. We will talk more about goals in next week in episode 13.

Action Item: Write specific commitments, action statements for each of the life categories or accounts that you have that move you from your current reality incrementally to your envisioned future for each.

Resources:

• Vision Board, Dr. Jack Canfield
• "Living Forward" by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy
• Contact Craig

Much of the information I am going to share is based on the book, "Living Forward" by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy as I have mentioned in previous episodes. You can find the reference and link to the book in the show notes.

Last week we talked about beginning your life plan with the end in mind, and your action step was to write down what legacy you hope to leave behind once you are gone by reflecting on what you would want people to say about you at your funeral and after.

Today we are going to get down to the specific about several categories, or what the book "Living Forward" call Life Accounts. Examples of categories, or life accounts that you would want to include are:

• Spiritual
• Intellectual
• Physical
• Marital
• Parental
• Social
• Financial
• Vocational
• Avocational

This list is not exhaustive and you can have different names for the categories that may be more specific to you, for instance "spouse" or you spouses name, your children's names. You can also add categories such as grandchildren, travel, exercise, etc. I recommend you list them in order of priority, but that it up to you. They do recommend putting categories that are related directly to you near the top, such as spiritual, intellectual, and physical. Although this may feel selfish, it goes along with the thought that you can't take care of and add value to others until you can take care of yourself.

Hyatt and Harkavy suggest there are four considerations when making your list of life accounts:

• Life Accounts are unique to you.
• Life Accounts can be names whatever you want.
• Life Accounts are interrelated.
• Life Accounts will change over time, as we discussed last week.

You will need to get specific for each account. Each one will need to have the following sections:

• Purpose Statement: What is your reason for being in this area, our role?
• Envisioned Future: What does this area of your life look like when it is at it's best?
• Inspiring Quote or Scripture.
• Current Reality: Keep it simple and realistic. Write it as bulleted statements.
• Specific Commitments: Similar to goals, what steps do you need to take to get from the current reality to your envisioned future. These steps will change as you accomplish them and move to more advanced steps.

Here is an example of my physical life account from my life plan:

Physical:

My physical purpose is to maintain my body as God's temple through proper nutrition, exercise, and following recommended checkups.

I am at a very ideal weight for me, and I have the energy to accomplish my daily activities and desires. I am exercising daily and loving the activities that are giving me great physical benefits. I have cut my medications to a minimum because of my healthy way of life.

• I am very conscious about my health and diet, yet often make poor choices, particularly on the nutritional side.
• I track steps and exercise with an Apple Watch
• I currently do 35-40 pushups every morning
• I don't have a regiment in place for getting enough exercise and strength building.
• I have cut my BP and Cholesterol medication in half and monitor results

Specific Commitments:

• I will get to and maintain a weight of 175 – 180.
• I will do cardio and strength building exercises a minimum of 4 times per week.
• I will read "The Daniel Plan" and make 4 beneficial eating habit changes as a result.
• I will drink at least 8 – 8 ounce servings of water daily.

Inspirational Quote:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God? 1 Corinthians 6:19

We will get down to more detail about how to write your specific commitments and follow through with making progress with your life plan next week as we conclude the series.

Action Step: Write down your list of between 6 - 12 life categories or accounts. Write your purpose statement for each, your envisioned future of where you want to be, an inspiring quote or scripture for some of them, and the current reality of where you are now. Refer back to the show notes for an example of how I have written one of my accounts, but write it in a way that is most meaningful for you.