Merrick Rosenberg, CEO, Take Flight Learning

Merrick Rosenberg co-founded Team Builders Plus, one of the first team building companies in the United States, back in 1991. In 2012, he reinvented how people learn about themselves through the personality styles and started his second company, Take Flight Learning. He is the author of four books about tapping into the power of your personality, including The Chameleon and Personality Wins. Merrick has worked with more than half of the Fortune 100 companies in the U.S. and around the world. Under Merrick’s leadership as CEO of Take Flight Learning, his company has been selected as the New Jersey Business of the Year by NJ Biz Magazine and has repeatedly been named as one of the Fastest Growing Companies and Best Places to Work in the Philadelphia area by the Philadelphia Business Journal.

Websites:  MerrickRosenberg.com, TakeFlightLearning.com

Twitter:  @MerrickR

Instagram:  Merrick_Rosenberg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PersonalityWins

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/merrickrosenberg/

www.marlanasemenza.com

Audio: Ariza Music Productions

Marlana: In 2012, Merrick Rosenberg reinvented how people learn about themselves through personality styles and started his second company Take Flight Learning. He's the author of four books about tapping into the power of your personality, including The Chameleon and Personality Wins. Welcome, Merrick.

Merrick: Thanks for having me.

Marlana: So first of all, tell us what these personality types are.

Merrick: Well, there's four core styles, and historically; they've been this alphabet soup of letters. And I wanted to make it easier and simple for people to remember. So I linked the four styles to four birds makes it pretty easy and also very obvious too. If you think about an eagle. Eagles are confident, they're assertive, they're take charge, very direct, they like to be in charge. You've got parrots, parrots are fun. They're social, talkative, outgoing, they bring lots of energy and excitement, doves caring, compassionate, or soft spoken. This is that person in your family. They want everyone to get along. They are harmonious and all like conflict. They're the peacemaker. And then you have the owl who's logical and analytical and detail oriented, if they're going to do something, they have a plan. And they do it right. The first time. They're accurate and very systematic, and they ask lots of questions. So we've got four styles. We're not just one, we're a combination of all four, but they play out in everything we do, from our personal relationships to work wherever we go,

Marlana: can we be one, but strive to be another? Or it's pretty much inherent in us, whatever the one is?

Merrick: There's often one or two styles that are very strong for us. And, you know, they drive our success, they allow us to be who we are, if you work out of your style, and you want it to be something else, it would be exhausting. If you take something like public speaking, well, parrots tend to like to be in front of a group, they love the energy, they like the fanfare. If you took that parrot and put them out on stage, they're loving it, it feeds their soul. But if you put them in a cubicle eight hours a day, and they have crank data in spreadsheets, and have zero human interaction, they would go home exhausted every day. So if you had a parrot who was trying to be more like an owl, they're just not wired for it, it would drain them, and why not do what feeds you instead of what drains you? So be yourself, trying to be somebody else is just going to exhaust you anyway.

Marlana: Which that makes perfect sense. So, tell us, what are the strengths of each one? Like how do we lean into that?

Merrick: If you look at the strength of the eagle style, their confidence, that confidence drives them to want to be in charge, because if I'm in charge, I will make it happen. It drives them to take risks. Because if I believe in myself, I might be taking a risk, but you know what, I will make it happen, I will achieve this objective, I'll accomplish something big. If you have someone like the Dove, their strengths are their interpersonal skills. So you ever talk to someone who's a dove, and they say to you, “Hey, how are you” and you say, “Oh, I'm good”. And then they look at you and they're like, “come on! What's going on?” And it's just this empathetic intuition. They sense it, and for the dove who leans into that strength, they might find a job where they're a counselor or a therapist or in a family. They're the peacemaker, and they keep everybody together. Parrot strengths are just those interpersonal skills, that ability to connect with people, talk with people, can go to a conference, not know anyone. And it looks like they know everybody. And because they have this interpersonal ability, they’re salespeople, they're able to sell. They're in human resources. They're care about culture. They're the person in your family who brings fun and energy and excitement. And for the owl, their core strength is the ability to be patient and take their time and ask the right questions. So they can do things well and do things right. And so they bring a sense of quality and accuracy and precision. And look, you want them in roles where if you don't do it, right, it's gonna be a problem. If you had a surgeon and you knew they were an owl, you might say, I'm pretty good with that. I like the fact that they're going to take their time, they're going to make sure everything's done properly. So, leaning into our strengths and being who we are, we can be the best version of ourselves.

Marlana: So, let me ask you this. Do each of them also then have inherent weaknesses that we need to be aware of?

Merrick: I don't necessarily think of them as weaknesses. What I think Give them as it's like pushing your strengths into the red zone, you take the owl style because they want to do things so correctly. If you drive that up and you push it into the red zone, it's like you crank up the strength too much, then they become the perfectionist, and they're so critical and they can't get anything done. And you take the Dove, they're compassionate, they're caring, but take anything to an extreme, even love. And you just dial that up into the red zone. They may be smothering. I think of them as like the grandmothers like I'm fully not a no, here you eat, but I'll put some on your plate. Not an awful! Alright! I'll wrap it for, you know, we got along right now, don't worry about it. I'll give it to you. And it's love but even love dialed up to an extreme because it can become smothering and become a week's parrot optimism, can become toxic optimism, where they're so positive, that they're unrealistic, that they bring so much energy and excitement. But now they're frenetic and scattered and all over the place. So even something as good as optimism, dial it up too much, how they're just not realistic and are grounded eagles, they're direct. That's great. You know what they're thinking they call it like it is, yeah, but dial it up too much push it in the red zone. And now they're blunt and insensitive and offending the people around them because they're too abrasive. So I don't necessarily think of the of the styles as having weaknesses. I think when you're getting to that space, there's some stressor that's causing that. And that's a red flag, something's out of balance. And that we need to bring you back into balance so that you're using the strength of the style, instead of those redzone behaviors, which probably push other people's buttons, and really don't serve us.

Marlana: So, how do we bring ourselves back into balance if we find ourselves going too far?

Merrick: Yeah, the first step is to realize, okay, this is a behavior that's not serving me, if you're a parrot, you have to have that self awareness to recognize, am I being optimistic or overly realistic? Am I being direct? Or am I being offensive? It's recognizing what your style looks like at a healthy level. And knowing what you look like when you are out of balance, so that when you then display those out of balance behaviors, it's that trigger of like, oh, yeah, I probably said that a little too bluntly. I'm an eagle. Alright, dial it back. Because once you do that, it's now getting in your way, you're probably as an eagle and offensive people around you. Now you're not getting the results you want. And so it's understanding what you look like at a healthy level, but also what you look like in that out of balance, overuse redzone level so that when it happens, it triggers the thought. All right, dial it back, take a breath.

Marlana: Is there a way to determine what someone else is? So we know perhaps how to work with them better? Or how to deliver information to them better?

Merrick: Absolutely! Look, if I were to model it for you, I'll show you and you can see if you can get started with style of owl and even just having known them for a few minutes, I will bet you'll be able to figure them out. So if I were to meet you and I just walked up to you. And I said hi there. Nice to meet you. Merrick Rosenberg. What style does that emanate for you? 

Marlana: Eagle. 

Merrick: Absolutely confident, direct Eagle. But if I said to you, Hi, how are you? It's so nice to meet you. What a pleasure. What do you think?

Marlana: Dove.

Merrick: But if they don't see how you do it instantly, and you just learned it. It's like I get it. Hey, how are you? Nice to meet you. Fantastic. So happy you're here. What do you think? 

Marlana: I'm gonna say parrot.

Merrick: Exactly right. Hi! Nice to meet you. Merrick Rosenberg. 

Marlana: That would be the owl.

Merrick: Notice how fast you did it is that once you learn these styles, there's an energy to them. And you feel it. It's almost like in a blink moment having just learned them you can still meet somebody and very quickly guess their style. And look, I'll give you a couple examples. Take somebody like Arnold Schwarzenegger, right? The Terminator, the governor, what style is that? Do you think he is I'm gonna say go exactly right. How about Ellen DeGeneres?

Marlana: I'm gonna say eagle.

Merrick: How about Ellen DeGeneres?

Marlana: I was gonna say a cross between a parrot and a dove.

Merrick: Exactly right. I think she's a parrot primary style, dove secondary style. So you notice how you do it. How about somebody like Bill Gates?

Marlana: Definitely owl. 

Merrick: Exactly right, Princess Diana? 

Marlana: Um! I'm gonna say Dove.

Merrick: Notice how once again, you just learned them. And you intuitively instinctively know their style. And I will tell you this, the more you practice this, the better you get at it, you meet people shake their hand and it's like, got it in seconds. And it's the beauty of learning the birds is that once you know your own style, and can read somebody else's style. Now you know how to flex and adapt and if it's what I call being the chameleon. When you meet them. You can be adaptable and flexible and not impose your style on them, but rather connect to them by birth. writing their style back

Marlana: So, let's say if somebody is an eagle, which is so dominant, connect with somebody and work with and deliver information to somebody who is a dove without running them over

Merrick: You can see the challenge is that the Eagles just very direct, they're calling it like it is. And all of a sudden they've been too direct and now they've offended the dove. Now there's an issue. And sometimes it's a matter of finding that happy medium, somewhere in the middle and look in report personal relationships equals Mary doves most often. Alright, carry out those opposites that are that are so different. They often connect, because we want somebody who is different. But then when we find them, we've got to be able to connect with that. So if you have someone who's an eagle, they probably need to dial down the directness, just a little bit. When you have someone's who is that dove in that relationship. They also need to dial up the acceptance that look when they're being direct. That has nothing to do with me, it's really not, oh, my gosh! Are they mad at me, because they just sent me a one line email. No, they're not mad at you. They're just direct. It's just who they are. So first of all, understanding it removes a lot of the drama, but also finding a happy medium, or it'll be a little less direct, or it'll be a little more direct. We'll meet somewhere in the middle, and it works. And so it really comes back to understanding. But it's amazing how the drama melts away. Once you have that.

Marlana: Is it more difficult for the more dominant personality to dial it back? Or is it more difficult for the less time go back to the eagle and the dove? Is it more difficult for the eagle to dial it back? Or is it more difficult for the dove to speak up?

Merrick: They are equally difficult. It is just as hard for the eagle to communicate in a soft spoken emotional way that's empathetic as it is for the dog to stand in their power and be direct and assertive. It's just as hard for the parrot to dial down some of that energy and enthusiasm as it is for the owl to dial it up. It's just as hard for the owl to dial down the level of detail as it is for the parrot to increase the amount of information they provide. When we work out of our style, it's draining, and it's no more draining for any style. Working out of our style takes energy. And that's true for all of the styles.

Marlana: Is it easier to work with or communicate with someone of a different style or have the same style? If you have two parrots together? And they're both kind of talking at each other? Is that more difficult?

Merrick: You might think that, oh, it'd be just so much easier. If everybody was like me, that would be simple. Yeah, but you're hitting the nail on the head. If you had two parrots, they're battling for airtime. They're having two conversations at the same time. If you have two eagles, they may be battling for authority. I know this is how I'm doing it. Yeah, well, this is what I'm doing. If you have two hours, they may be arguing over the process and the way that it gets done. They may agree about the goal. But it's here's the way that works for me. Well, here's the way that works for me. If you have two Dubs, quite frankly, they're probably not battling it out. They may get upset, but they don't tell you and then they internalize it. And then they wait till it gets super big, and then it explodes. And then they don't do that again for six months.

Marlana:...