031 - "Do You Plan to Have a Jewish Household?" (Finding a Rabbi Series)

It’s one of the most common questions a rabbi may ask a couple before deciding that he or she is the right fit for the couple’s wedding.

If a rabbi asked you this question, do you know how you would answer?

Does it conjure feelings of fear, confusion, and dread?

Don’t worry. I’m here to help.

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/zachor-why-jewish-memory-matters/

You know about breaking the glass, but what about breaking a PLATE?

Welcome to the first LISTENER QUESTION episode of the Your Jewish Wedding Podcast, where I answer Olivia’s question: “I was wondering if you could explain the breaking of the plates by the mothers?”

Yes! There is a Jewish custom where the mothers of the people getting married break a plate to “Seal the deal.”

(Watch a short video of a plate-breaking I facilitated here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1p9wGz9E92s2LajZY8LAPj07MTcblOiJN/view?usp=drive_link)

As with anything to do with Jewish Weddings, there are many explanations for this custom and different ways to do it. It is connected to what was traditionally an engagement agreement called a tenaim.  So, obviously, we need to learn about that first.

Show Notes are below.

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn

Text of a egalitarian tenaim example:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a-o-c__kVCmRz2wD-NkOy12NLB324dAAs9YLGxXBOfg/edit?usp=sharing

Traditional explanations of tenaim/breaking a plate:

https://ohr.edu/ask_db/ask_main.php/2632/Q1/

https://judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/49234/why-do-the-mothers-break-the-plate

Pieces of the broken plate as auspicious:

https://ketubah.com/jewish-wedding-superstitions-segulahs/

Contemporary Tenaim/Plate Breaking Resources:

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/tenaim-the-conditions-of-marriage/

https://ritualwell.org/ritual/dowries-smashed-dishes/

Have you felt ghosted and abandoned by your favorite rabbi (me, obviously) ? Did you come here expecting an apology for my half a year absence? 

Well, you won't get an apology, but you will get an explanation. Settle in for an update on what I've been up to, and some thoughts about how I'd like to expand my efforts to make a Jewish wedding accessible for anyone who wants one. 

Clueless about your Hebrew name? What about your fiance/e's? Your ketubah will most likely ask you to provide your Hebrew name - for very important reasons. Don't phone this one in - listen for tips and tricks on the best way to determine your Hebrew name and that of your beloved -whether he or she is Jewish or not. 

I interview Reverend Mercy Ibarra, an interfaith/bilingual officiant (and possible MOT?)  in Los Angeles. (Yes, she’s done Jewish weddings. And technicalities aside, she was brought up Catholic.) If you don't want a religious ceremony but your Abuela is NOT happy about it, Reverend Mercy can help!

Listen for more on her experience with planning traditional AND innovative/personal ceremonies, hear her take on the Four Questions with Rabbi LeighAnn Lightning Round, and a bonus on babies (!) at the end.

Where to find Reverend Mercy

Instagram: rev.mercy.ceremonies

revmercy.com

[email protected]

What Reverend Mercy is Reading Now:

Bury Me Standing https://www.amazon.com/Bury-Me-Standing-Gypsies-Journey/dp/067973743X

Sarah Silverman’s Show:

https://g.co/kgs/HP6TS4M

The best Matzah Balls in LA:

https://www.cantersdeli.com/

The Matzah Balls she hasn’t tried:

https://www.langersdeli.com/

The Garcia-Shapiros

https://phineasandferb.fandom.com/wiki/Garcia-Shapiro_family

~~~

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn

Here’s exactly how to plan a QUICK and EASY Passover Seder for first-timers. The most important thing is to start somewhere and to always ask questions!

If you’re short on time, go straight to 13:45

One-Sheet Haggadah:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10AMF__xWaP27AZBOUy-EDgMFN1uZq0cO/view?usp=sharing

History of the Haggadah:

https://www.jewishbookcouncil.org/pb-daily/a-brief-history-of-the-haggadah#:~:text=90%20BCE%3A%20The%20first%20ever,%2C%20included%2C%20and%20thereafter%20immortalized.

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn

Here’s exactly how to plan a QUICK and EASY Passover Seder for first-timers. The most important thing is to start somewhere and to always ask questions!

If you’re short on time, go straight to 13:45

One-Sheet Haggadah:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10AMF__xWaP27AZBOUy-EDgMFN1uZq0cO/view?usp=sharing

History of the Haggadah:

https://www.jewishbookcouncil.org/pb-daily/a-brief-history-of-the-haggadah#:~:text=90%20BCE%3A%20The%20first%20ever,%2C%20included%2C%20and%20thereafter%20immortalized.

What does the circling under the chuppah MEAN? Will it be weird if we do it at our wedding? Will we feel awkward? Will we freak out our guests? Should we explain it? Aaaaarggh!

Yes, for many couples, considering circling under the chuppah just feels like TOO MUCH. Too much Jewiness, too much time, too much foreign weirdness...and yet, many still feel drawn to it. 

Are you hoping to include circling in your Jewish wedding and searching for an explanation for the ritual that speaks to YOU? You've come to the right place. 

• Watch some videos of others circling to get an idea for how it looks and whether you want to do it.
  • https://youtu.be/uUdBNTpAoiA
  • https://youtu.be/LNYjFmP-NaQ

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn

Bekah specializes in simple, beautiful, and personal ketubahs for each of her couples. Using her experiences in interfaith and Jewish life from childhood onward, she approaches each couple with the curiosity and knowledge to make their ketubah process mean much more than just picking out a piece of paper to sign.

Find Bekah and work with her at www.foreveriepaper.com

Podcast - http://www.unsettledpod.com/ by Max Freedman

Book - https://www.jaymichaelson.net/books/godinyourbody/

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn

The traditional circling at a Jewish wedding has so much history and so many different meanings. As fun as its origins may be (you'll see!) I get most excited about how other cultures incorporate circling into their wedding ceremonies, too. 

Please note: something went awry with the break music in editing. I don't really anticipate many, if any, of you caring. :) 

Shownotes:

The first six minutes or so of this podcast are just me talking about the weather and scented candles.

~ 19 minutes: Kreissmesser article:

https://feminismandreligion.com/2020/01/30/the-kreismesser-women-and-magic-swords-in-jewish-tradition-by-jill-hammer/

~

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn

Rabbi LeighAnn chats with close friend of the Pod DJ Snead. Tune in for advice on choosing your ceremony music, how to find music pros you trust, and more!

Find and book DJ Snead at https://www.djsnead.com/

Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !

Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!

IG: @yourohiorabbi

Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast

Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:

[email protected]

Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!

<3 Rabbi LeighAnn