S2 Episode 1: Your Reality is Your Perception, Not Your Partner’s

Episode Summary

Each of us comes into a romantic relationship with preconceived notions of what we want, need and expect from our partner.  Some of us are better at communicating those things than others.  Unfortunately, a significant number of arguments in relationships come from conflicting perceptions of a particular situation.  Two people can see the identical thing in vastly different ways.

When you accept that your perception of any given situation may be different than your partner’s, it allows for better communication.  Try to understand their point of view.  It does not mean you have to agree with it.  However, when you validate your partner, they are more likely to be open to what you have to say.

Remember, feelings and opinions are not fact.  Each person in the relationship is entitled to their feelings and opinions.  Your job is to be respectful, even if you strongly disagree with your partner.  Always try to put yourself in their shoes before you judge.  You may be surprised with how legitimate their position may be if you make an effort to understand their perspective.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss a person’s need to analyze every spoken or written word in a relationship.

Show Notes

Perception is responsible for a lot of conflict in romantic relationships. When you enter into a partnership, you bring your own life experience, habits, sense of right from wrong, wants, and needs. All of these things can shape your perception of any given situation, and the same goes for your partner too.

Of course, in certain circumstances, there is no question between what’s right and what’s wrong. However, there are plenty of situations that leave room for differences in perception. You may think your position is the right one because you haven’t considered your partner’s point of view.

Feelings and opinions are not the same as facts, and what you see as a negative might be a positive in your partner’s eyes—or vice versa. This is why empathy is so important in a relationship. You and your partner don’t have to agree, but you do need to step back and appreciate the other person’s point of view.

Understanding your partner’s perspective can help with communication because it allows you to validate their perspective. You don’t need to share the same reality as your partner, but you do need to appreciate and understand their point of view.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When people want to analyze every word spoken or written in a relationship. Spending too much of your time speculating about the meaning behind your partner's words leads to anger and resentment. It’s exhausting and it’s a waste of time to constantly read between the lines. It signals poor communication and is a sign the person isn’t getting what they want from the relationship.

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