Is there anything sexy about an Amazon Prime made-for-streaming adaptation of a Young Adult novel? And what if it was an independent Arthouse film about the Republic of France topping the monarchy of The Netherlands? This is the definitive ruling on the latest homonationalist propaganda movie 'Red, White, and Royal Blue' (2023).

This is Vanity Project at its finest. We cover topping, bottoming, and penis sizes as they pertain to racial physiognomies and the blonde/brunette dichotomy, and ask, is calling Prince George gay as bad as being a pedophile? How do you come out to your mum as a bi-top, and what if your mum, POTUS, is Uma Thurman? Really, we just want Uma Thurman to take us out of the closet, and into the Oval Office so we can make some hot pharmacopornography.

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