Vanity Project

What do you call a group of women? Charles and Laura are recruited to articulate gossip, that which determines a social fabric, which was so threatening to patriarchal order that it sparked the witch trials, and may take up the majority of our speaking lives. We talk 16th century torture devices, manicures in the era of grooming, monkeys, and feminism.

This episode was recorded live at the Art Gallery of NSW's Sydney Cinemathèqué. Thank you to Michael Sun for including us in his elegantly programmed series, Gossip. This podcast was recorded preceding our introduction for a screening of George Cukor's The women (1939).

Welcome to the blue period. Finally Vanity Project give a formal treatment to two of the most significantly Blue Films of the twenty first century: the sexy alien epic AVATAR (where ostensibly, blue people are People of Colour), and the film that lesbians with coloured hair feared and loved in equal measure, Blue Is The Warmest Colour.

While Laura obsesses over blue-tongued lizards and “the most delicious blue drink of all time,” Charles searches for the courage to speak on something that’s been troubling him deeply; the suicidal side effects of James Cameron’s Avatar. Clinical psychology tells us arguably that the Navi fantasy world is the ultimate killer, and Vanity Project is here to find out why. This final chapter of Vanity Project’s chromatic trilogy has Laura and Charles asking each other, why so blue?

We don't know if you’re RED-y for this comeback… but Vanity Project have finally green-lit the return of their THREE COLOURS series!

Charles and Laura uncover their taboo attraction to the colour that codes danger, gore, life, and death. What do Isabelle Huppert and Laura, a week before her thirteenth birthday, have in common? Bloody RED disaster!

Like a poem said by a lady in RED, this episode will have you asking yourself, do the curtains match the drapes? Am I ginger by blood? There's only one way to find out! Remember what to do at the RED light? STOP everything, and listen!

First, a disease befell us, and then She cast her spell (chant with us), ABRACADABRA AMOR-OO-NA-NA… Vanity Project put their paws up one more time for Lady Gaga’s seventh studio album, Mayhem. This time we are joined by a very special guest, longtime Little Monster and boyfriend of the pod Caleb Bunselmeyer.

Together, we come home to Mother Monster and cast our collective memory to the music that soundtracked our most shameful moments. We speculate on the effect of third fiancé Michael Polansky, of the side effects of anti-psychotic Olanzapine, and of listening to Gaga music alone. Truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest…

Vanity Project are proud to present the first in the forthcoming trilogy of THREE COLOURS: White. In their first ever multi-episode saga Vanity Project daringly go where the likes of Aristotle and an exploratory lone monkey have gone before: to the White Material that made you. It’s an episode about semen, and the perfect recipe for how to increase your load.

Through a textual and cultural analysis semen is the fulcrum for a new discourse on race, the cultivation of male sexuality, and the last funny movie, Bridesmaids. We brave The Colonial Cumshot, Images of Bliss, and Edmund White on Robert Maplethorpe. We ask, is cum kind of a gay guy thing? Where were you when Diddy threw the first White Party?

Who is the most famous Laura? It’s not the one in Vanity Project! In our Actress Double Feature reprise all eyes are on birthday girl Laura Dern. Four-time Academy-Awarded Best Actress Katherine Hepburn once said: "Show me an actress who isn't a personality, and you'll show me a woman who isn't a star." But what of a Best Supporting Actress?

The supporting material this week is the holey epic Inland Empire (2006), the late David Lynch’s last feature, and confounding literary bio-flick JT Leroy (2018). What’s in a name? Laura and Charles attempt naming the unnameable genius of facial contortionist Laura Dern. When was the Dernaissance exactly? With Dern’s pre-historic Hollywood pedigree, she's fought worse Dinosaurs for years in Tinseltown!

Vanity Project are back! And this year they’re finally cleaning up their act! For the first time in a long time, Laura and Charles are fully clothed and somewhat researched. Following their threesome themed third birthday, they return with a speculative ficto-critical question that demands an answer…

The question at hand? …How can we imagine the world without internet porn? Is it a porno-utoptia? Are we having more sex? Where’s Kim Kardashian? Is anybody listening to Vanity Project? It’s an X Rated Four Corners special, and VP have ventured into the unknown. Are they on the edge of something great, or are they just edging? Who’s to say!

This is Vanity Project’s most UNIQUE episode so far. Fierce contender for the coveted Third spot, Lottie World, joins the podcasters and takes them to a very special place… A place where Phallic Mothers meet Vaginal Fathers and we all sing Kumbaya.

Star singer, entertainer, and storyteller Lottie asks us, where did the megafauna go? How are you feeling about Liam Payne’s death? Should we bleep my ex housemate’s name? Tickets on sale now to join us in Lottie’s perfect, voluptuous, effervescent, phallic, vaginal, UNIQUE! World on November 1st and 2nd for Vanity Project: Looking For A Third.

https://events.humanitix.com/vanity-project-looking-for-a-third?_gl=1*1cuppqi*_gcl_au*ODI4ODcxMzEzLjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga*NDg2NTUzMTg4LjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga_LHKW5FR9N6*MTcyOTIxODQxOS40LjAuMTcyOTIxODQ1OC4yMS4wLjA.

Vanity Project are Looking For A Third, and the final judge to help them is none other than Janet Anderson! For the unitiated, Janet is a star of the stage and screen, occasional nightlife icon, and permanent effervescent beauty.

Did you ever watch Glee? Or judge a fashion show in the Bronx? Have you ever imagined yourself on your hands and knees at your own star on the Hollywood walk of fame? Us neither! But Janet has all that and more. To see her help Vanity Project pick their perfect third buy your tickets now for November 1st and 2nd!

https://events.humanitix.com/vanity-project-looking-for-a-third?_gl=1*1cuppqi*_gcl_au*ODI4ODcxMzEzLjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga*NDg2NTUzMTg4LjE3Mjc0MDM2NzM.*_ga_LHKW5FR9N6*MTcyOTIxODQxOS40LjAuMTcyOTIxODQ1OC4yMS4wLjA.

Now three years and 100 episodes in, Vanity Project receive a mysterious unmarked letter, sealed with a loving kiss from The Queen. What happens at 100? Few dare to dream of reaching the milestone, fewer have the honour of telling the tale…

It doesn’t matter if you joined Vanity Project at their “Go Piss Girl” or their “Neuter Naarm vs Sex Sydney” or in “New York City: The Lost Tapes” … they’re just glad you’re here. Celebrate with them as they look back to 100 years ago, and make some new commitments too.