Is there anything sexy about an Amazon Prime made-for-streaming adaptation of a Young Adult novel? And what if it was an independent Arthouse film about the Republic of France topping the monarchy of The Netherlands? This is the definitive ruling on the latest homonationalist propaganda movie 'Red, White, and Royal Blue' (2023).

This is Vanity Project at its finest. We cover topping, bottoming, and penis sizes as they pertain to racial physiognomies and the blonde/brunette dichotomy, and ask, is calling Prince George gay as bad as being a pedophile? How do you come out to your mum as a bi-top, and what if your mum, POTUS, is Uma Thurman? Really, we just want Uma Thurman to take us out of the closet, and into the Oval Office so we can make some hot pharmacopornography.

For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

This week, the girls have invited the gorgeous dancer and writer Belle Beasley to chat about the infamous, and now arguably well-loved Showgirls (1995). Vanity Project says, Showgirls won the culture war! Fix yourself a plate of doggie chow and enjoy this hour-long lap dance. Hide your pearls boys and girls, jewels are a killer in this industry!

We ask all the difficult questions, which Showgirls version is superior, cut or uncut? What are you willing to do? Are your nipples hard? "Of course, only I can make your nipples hard!" For one night only, Vanity Project is Goddess.

For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Belle Beasley is a dancer, dancemaker, and writer with a background in classical ballet. She is currently based in Newcastle / muloobinba, and soon Paris.

Her recent curatorial project CAKE, a performance art event co-curated and produced with Henry Dooner, saw Vanity Project debut aesthetic thesis HARDsoft, as part of a multi-disciplinary program of performance, sound, discourse, and visual art.

@belleysbutton

For this tell-all interview, Laura and Charles join the one and only Joan Rivers under the covers for one last episode of her online mini-series 'In Bed with Joan'.

And because the girls are such generous power-bottoms, they've allowed their extra-special guest the chance to interview them!

R.I.P. Joan, you would've hated Vanity Project.

Tentatively, Laura asks Charles, “…did you… like dolls?” It’s another transexually charged podcast. We have returned from the only city to cut off its own Penis-Tower, Newcastle, to give our definitive reading of the Barbie movie. 

Charles pronounces “Baudrillard” properly, and reads an excerpt of his upcoming text “Good For Drag”, which is actually about being Birkenstock-pilled, and Laura womansplains Lacan and the Mirror Stage. We beach-each-other-off with our greatest hits about Global Pedophile Culture, Feminism being actually good, and homophobia being actual misogyny. To borrow from the pussy (or lack thereof) discourse of our foremothers: let us quote the legendary Jasmine Masters, “we don’t want to see your barbie doll mannequin pussy. Panties, bitch.”

For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

In the grand tradition of actress studies and diva-worship, the girls are back with another very special Double Feature Pod. This time, they are talking about the cinematic exploits and successive slidings of pleasure as depicted by one miss Isabelle Huppert.

Laura and Charles watch The Piano Teacher (2001) and Ma Mère (2004) so that you don't have to! They discuss the problématiques of the two films, which bear a striking resemblance, and recall getting kicked out of the Freud Musuem in Vienna. Is it okay to kiss your mother on the lips if she's Isabelle Huppert and is Huppert allowed to kiss her own mother on the lips? Vanity Project are asking all the questions you don't want answered!

For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Charles and Laura are back in the closet [recording studio] to talk about transgender ideation [crossdressing fantasy]. We giggle nervously while we speak very, very openly about the ways we love and adore trans people, culture, aesthetics and ideology. 

Through Viscose’s newest issue “trans”, the movie Dressed To Kill (1980), and the documentary Disclosure (2020), we ask: is there an international agenda by gay men that conspire to make cis women clocky? Were you really ‘born this way’? What’s the opposite of castration envy? In our most brave episode yet, we say to our transgender listeners: I’m sorry, and I love you.

For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Finally, it’s just us girls, and Charles, just off the plane from Tokyo, is bursting with secrets. One listener asks “Charles, can I ask you a personal question? …What’s the craziest thing you did on your holiday?” 

This week we’re aligning our heart, pussy, and boner chakras the old-fashioned way: in the bathhouse, where we make a return to form. That form? Hard-ons, naturally. Shall I compare thee to a sodomised goat? We ask, as an afterthought about female sexuality. The girls find the safe place between men’s crotches, arousal and distress, and quote-unquote “personal style” between me down there in the land of the rising sun.

For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

While Charles enjoys a writer’s strike of sorts on holiday in Tokyo, Laura sits down with Drew in the studio to talk everything art and AI. Laura and Drew, yes, probably could have just created an AI Charles to join them, but isn’t there something nice about a human touch? 

We talk creativity and labour, the limits of censorship in image- and text-generating software, the limitations of the form, the problem of promptism and trying to remember how to spell the word “vagina,” and if AI portraits make good imaginary friends. 

The girls are back on the mic after their triumphant second birthday party on June 7th! For those of you that have been living under a rock, Vanity Project is now officially two years old and they’re finally putting on their big girl panties!

This week, Laura and Charles recap the night that was and share their sensuous collaborative Birthday-Suit text once again for your consideration (and pleasure). This is your trigger warning!

And that, Salvosfit — just so you will know — and your children will someday know ---is the night the lights went out in Goodspace Gallery!

Visit our digital room sheet: https://vanityproject.cargo.site

Listen to our official VPT2 playlist courtesy of our Lady Deejay in absentia, Chanel: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3GrQBz2Ae5VwQticncuVLD?si=AQKboJLKQzilpSft5oPKQg

For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

This week, for the fifth and final VPT2 interview, the girls are joined by the one and only Miski! Vanity Project: Terrible Twos is just one sleep away! It’s so close we can taste it!

This is a masterclass in talking courtesy of #voicesbymiski. The girls chitchat about birthdays, stand-up, comedy, funny ha-ha jokes, playing-it-straight, writing as practice, and so-called apophenia! Here come the drums, here come the drums!

Repeat after us: Miski. Is. Our. Supreme. Leader.

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project