Vanity Project

Well, our hard work has finally paid off. We somehow managed to get one miss Chloë Sevigny on the pod. Charles and Laura sit down with the one and only to discuss: what is she doing in Sydney? How did she learn French for her role in Demonlover? What did it feel like to give the first blowjob at Cannes? 

In this EXCLUSIVE sit-down interview, we suffer the consequences of our compulsive and excessive fellatio discourse, complimented of course by a review of Sugondèse Film Festival, and the mythos and legend of the novel Sarah by JT Leroy.

Vanity Project are doin' it for the fame and no celebrity is safe! From Dennis Cooper to Kristen Stewart, Asia Argento, and yes...even Eliza Scanlen. This brush with fame is just the beginning for these two burgeoning star-fuckers!

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

This week, the girls are listening to Lana Del Rey's ninth studio album while sipping root beer by the taco truck. Laura and Charles have developed a new form of navel-gazing: after skinny dipping in your mind, “let the light shine in” by sunning your privates, just like Shailene Woodley encouraged us to do many moons ago, there’s a word for it in Japanese…

Whose shoulders are you standing on? Can you get covid by kissing your cousin? Is this the next-best American record? When you know, you know…if you're asking yourself, "How do you know?" Then that's your answer, the answer is "No”.

As Lacan once said, the voice is what’s left when signifying is done. And yet the question remains, do you really give a damn what Vanity Project do after years of just hearing them talking?

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

For those of you who missed our exclusive invite only LIVE in-person debut, we present our new thesis: The Iceberg of SEX! Charles and Laura present their musings on gay friendship, sex contracts, and the suberotic tensions that bind and repel us.

As the proud CHAMPIONS of the inaugural TEDxAndrew talk, we rise to the challenge of Dick Tickle, the culture of gay narcissism, and forced thesissification. Finally, under this new theoretical framework we can reveal the answers to your questions: have we ever had sex? Can gay boys ever be friends? What does it mean to be a gay man trapped in a woman’s body?

It’s 38 degrees and your favourite podcasters have re-entered the closet after weeks of welcoming pride into their lives. In order to weather this heatwave, Laura and Charles are sitting in a basement wardrobe shrouded in the finest of polyesters to discuss recent Fall 2023 défilés de mode. The climate-controlled and windowless cabin they are recording out of is sort of like a Balenciaga show location if you think about it…

New to economics, Laura and Charles unknowingly crunch the numbers; was there ever a second world, and are they in it? What’s the difference between 50,000 and 500,000 studs on a belt? Does anybody care about the business of fashion? And who gets to join them in a three-way? Mama, let’s research.

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Happy Fucking Mardi Gras! This festive season we are giving you a scene report from the most fabulous, or as we say, fagulous, holiday celebrations and condemnations. Charles and Laura go deep on their so-called “World Pride” highlights thus far.

We give you the play-by-play on dyke bars, eulogies, the drive-in cinema that we got clocked at, and our experience getting personal with the one, the only…….Troughman! And we won’t let you forget the reason for the season. The Vanity Project etiquette is as follows: honk for the dolls, the freakier the float the louder you cheer, and finally, don't forget to give your bestie a loving kiss whenever you get the chance!

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Let’s hear it for the boys! This week, Charles and Laura give YOU a blow-by-blow of FW23 menswear. This is what makes us boys: in a world where war is waged between effeminacy and forced masculinisation, where do you stand?

While Charles takes huge loads interning for Ludovic de Saint Sernin, Laura takes her top off in a perverted sexual pageant because she’s “just more comfortable this way”. Through Paglia’s ‘Sexual Personnae’ we examine the stylings of menswear as it crosses into somewhat-girlswear, through Preciadio’s ’Testo Junkie’ we ask you to relax your hole, you’re clenched babe, and with Glover’s ‘Thrust’? Just listen, you’ll find out. 

We point out some very hard truths about erections, topping, bottoming, penis sizes, and the like. Do you have what it takes to be cast in the blow-job-wanting-to-give pageant that is Men’s fashion week?

What’s that smell? After another hiatus, Charles and Laura are back. If you ever wondered what Vanity Project smells like, now’s the time to tune in. 

The top notes of their signature fragrance consist of discussions about panty and underarm sniffing and “feral man smell”, the heart notes of the chemicals in lavender that caused your gynecomastia (male breast tissue development), and finally base notes of stale piss that boys can never quite shake off. 

We ask, is smelling bad part of feminist-killjoy praxis? Can affect theory balance your PH and what does Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina smell like? Vanity project are burning the Goop vagina candle at both ends so that you don't have to!

This week, join the girls as they sermonise about the ongoing cultural significance of the diva and her gay male sycophants. In the middle of the night ask yourself, must I worship? Charles and Laura do inner-child-past-life regression as they revisit the queues on their iPod shuffles. 

As Lacan probably once said, walk into the hall of mirrors and take a long hard look at yourself. Are you a diva? Do you have a gay best friend? Do you crave one? The vanity project thematic universe is comprised of two devout gay best friends that are religious about their practice.

To listen to this podcast you are required to follow Azealia Banks on Instagram, stream Celebration by Madonna, read Fashioning The Unconscious and The Homintern Conspiracy, and watch every one of the A Star Is Born films.

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Charles and Laura are back for Paris Fashion Week, and Laura’s trying to scream over the cacophony Girl Pusher’s harsh noise. We’ll continue to fantasise about Margiela, fall out of love with Vaquera, and suck Rick Owens' dick (some might even call it draining). We briefly talk Italian fascism as it pertains to the recent displays by Moncler and Ferragamo, and soon realise we don't know what we're talking about! 

Cut to Paris, and Bella Hadid is starring in tasteful bukkake (her nipples are covered). We close the show by giving dignified good-faith interpretation of the Balenciaga pig pen and for what? When Demna throws an artistic tantrum and says "who cares!", we pull him out of the mud, wipe him up, and give him a fresh pair of clogs. Keep your head up king, your creative integrity is falling!

In the words of Azealia Banks, fashion week is finally over, "so...what now?"

We're back! After a long hiatus, Laura and Charles have returned to talk all things inflation! As the wise economist Timothée Chalamet once said, "It's tough to be alive now. I think societal collapse is in the air - it smells like it". And so we ask, what is that smell? Well, it's Glenn Martens' DIESEL of course! Having trouble with a leaky hole after getting pumped? They have an artisan-crafted purple glass plug for that!

For this spring/summer 2023 we give a blow-by-blow. From blow-up clothes to blown-out proportions, whistle-blowing, and even blowing oneself. We take the time to blow them all: Dilara Fındıkoğlu, JW Anderson, even Moschino! Jeremy Scott says we are “drowning in negativity”, which is why podcasters, now more than ever, must fill the room with hot air. Whether that room is a pokies lounge at the local RSL or a stadium home to the world's biggest inflatable scissoring orgy sculpture, you must blow.