Vanity Project

Tuck yourself in for an hour of rest and relaxation, as Laura and Charles recount their experiences finally reading a novel. They talk everything girlblogging and godposting, twin towers and thigh gaps, competitive insanity, female frailty, general unhappiness and their past lives as treacherous princesses and feeble peasant boys.

Regular podcasting is a promise, and they can’t afford to lie. So get in bed with vanity project for this very special episode and do like a good girl blogger should: lie about being crazy.

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Charles and Laura are joined by the elegantly rockstar, First Lady of the Pod, Faye, to rate and review everyone else’s ins and outs lists so you don’t have to!

Listen carefully, did they just bleep your name? As 2022 dawns they discuss how embarrassing some of you were publicly with the hindsight of January under their sleeves. 

I’m sorry I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy that’s in. Or sorry that’s out.

Charles and Laura sit down one-on-one, girl-on-girl, in an all-new REUNION episode where they read back their lockdown love letters… so you don’t have to! This e-pistolary breakdown pod debuts their never-before-seen one-off collaboration piece titled: Message Instances.

After an excruciating fifteen-month separation, find out what caused the once-in-a-lifetime shock that left half of Vanity Project SPEECHLESS. They reflect on separation anxiety, highly literate expressions of affection, and anxious-preoccupied attachment styles. This is a tale of devotion, junkiedom, craving miracles, and missing your best friend.

Love Profusion Playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0OJcD4uSUx0MKEkKmu98wi?si=7abeca8e02bd4a7a

Aortic Perforation Playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6J0RGB4JDtXRDsXgyJfNlr?si=1ef0a52351be486a

Charles and Laura are joined by esteemed bestie and former Framework editor Carmencita, and catch Sydney’s last screening of Dasha Nekrasova’s debut feature The Scary of Sixty-First so you don’t have to! Legs spread, they dive headfirst into post-web conspiracy, substance abuse, and resist possession by Jeffery Epstein in the grand tradition of Isabelle Adjani when she was in that tunnel in 1981.

Listen to a world-first in-person recording of the trio as they attempt not to slur their words while asking, do we live in a global fedopillic culture? Who is Glenn Maxwell? Is Carmen controversial or brave? Can men be talented? And more urgently, can you open this bottle of Prosecco for me?

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Madonna threw the first latte in Iraq!

Laura and Charles are once again joined by Madonna-sycophant, Drew Connor Holland. They listen to Madonna’s critically un-claimed album ‘American Life’ so that you don’t have to! Endure the X-Static Process of live unprovoked karaoke, pop-psychoanalysis under Freud’s Oedipus, pure stupidity, and digging on isotopes because this meta-physics shit is dope!

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

It's another double feature baby! Charles and Laura ceremoniously - and competitively - venerate Chloë Sevigny and say "hey" to Laura’s Theory of the Puritanical Society. After months of Laura’s begging, Charles watches The Last Days of Disco (1998), and they go to town together on The Brown Bunny (2003).

They talk gossip, pre-influencer-influencers, “It Girl” theorems, and [redacted]. Get on your knees, genuflect at the altar where Chloë Sevigny gave the first un-simulated blowjob at Cannes. They ask, Wednesday was gay day for me, was it gay day for you too?

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Charles and Laura gently probe with manicured fingers at Laura’s new [read: raw, unedited] autofiction, titled “Horseshoe Theory, or HOOF RESTORATION VERY SATISFYING”. Listen in to the two waifs’ last-ditch effort at It-Girl-isms and self-aggrandisement before reforming themselves with some sense of humility.

They ponder the ceiling of Sydney’s degrees of separation, and inch closer to interviewing John Waters. Before that, however, they ask their listeners, what would you ask the mothers of the pod?

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Laura and Charles are joined by versatile submerging artist, Drew Connor Holland as they play boy-girl-boy-girl and talk all things female-to-male crossdressing.

As Drew and Laura make a valiant effort to pronounce Inez and Vinoodh, Charles googles ‘girls kissing’ and addresses his sexual confusion. They critique the drag-industrial-complex, dance monkey dance diva worship and all things Jo Calderone.

The three ex-artists continue to submerge and soon learn that they’re gonna need a bigger sock!

Required Reading:

Semerene, Diego, Cross-Dressing Violence: Barebacking as Symbolic Drag in RAW: PReP, Pedagogy, and the Politics of Barebacking. Edited by Ricky Varghese (Regina: University of Regina Press) , 2019

Charles and Laura are joined by special recurring guest star of the pod, Lev Kaya, to chat all things Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Fourth wheel with your favourite threesome as they experience love, laughter, gay-best-friendship, and colonial plundering, oh my!

Attempts were made at bringing feminist, queer, and post-colonial analysis (guess who is who), and Lev and Laura plan a secret podcast heist to an unknowing and frankly, at this point, worn-down Charles on one sore topic (guess which) in particular.

They baselessly speculate on Angelina Jolie’s bisexuality, Laura’s unsanctimonious family, and Mark Zuckerberg’s boobs.

Required reading: https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/movie-features/the-devil-in-miss-angelina-jolie-176199/

For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project

Get in bed with Laura and Charles as they read Charles' text I'll Teach You How to-.  A tale of epic body proportions and ratty blonde hair extensions, set in three acts. I'll Teach You How to- is self-insert fan-fiction. Its autodidacticism, except the auto, is the Pussy Wagon with Camille Paglia in the driver's seat and the didact is Sue Sylvester subbing sex-ed...

"Everybody open up your 1992 SEX Book to page 69. In today's class, we will be discussing lukewarm experiments in voyeurism, pederasty and bestiality."

Strap in and strap on for some good old bedtime stories, art-school-cum-rags, as well as live vocals by veteran podcasters, seasoned voice actors, and burgeoning chanteuses.

Find the full text and more paywalled content over at the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project