You're Allowed*

What's the craziest thing someone told you that you're not allowed to do?

I ask every guest that. First question, every time. Here's what came back.

You're Allowed* is my new podcast. Every episode comes in two parts. Part one is the story, the permission. Part two is the access: what they actually did, in order, so you can do it too. No gatekeeping.

And every guest gets the same last question: what are you allowed to want now?

In this trailer:
Jesse Rhodes Jr., Cultural Architect, Speaker, Author of Leadership Unlocked
Carmen Best, former Chief of the Seattle Police Department, Principal, Carmen Best & Partners
Michelle L. Jensen, Travel HerStory
Kevin Armstrong, Founder, Armstrong HoldCo
Natalia Balashova, Founder, 'Yet'

Premieres Tuesday, November 24, 2026. Follow the show so the first episode lands the morning it drops.

Want the Part Two playbook? Every episode, the guest's exact steps, in order, on one page in your inbox. Join The Asterisk: https://rachaelbarclay.com

Watch the trailer: https://rachaelbarclay.com/trailer

S1E2 — Carmen Best | You're Allowed to Lead on Your Own Terms

Carmen Best — Former Chief of the Seattle Police Department, Speaker, Author, Changemaker

Guest: Carmen Best, former Chief of the Seattle Police Department, author of Black in Blue, and one of the most recognizable voices on leadership to come out of 2020.

Episode Description

People told Carmen Best she'd never be Chief. She mostly found out afterward — the doubt was happening in rooms she wasn't even in, about a career she hadn't started yet. She became Chief of the Seattle Police Department anyway.

In this episode of You're Allowed, Carmen traces the whole arc: a loving, lower-middle-class childhood in Tacoma where she was given permission to dream as big as she wanted, a "why not" decision in 1992 that turned into nearly 30 years in law enforcement, and the year the entire world was watching her city. She's honest about being the only woman — and often the only woman of color — in the room, the mentors who reminded her she wasn't alone, and the slow boil of experience that became her book.

Then she gives away the hard-won wisdom: how she knew when to walk away, why "if you need the job, maybe you shouldn't take the job," what she'd whisper to herself the day she got appointed, and what she's still allowed to want. It's an episode about permission and access — the story and the pathway — and it ends on the line that defines the whole show.

In This Episode

• The craziest thing people said would never happen — and why "people aren't always right"
• Growing up in Tacoma with strict rules but unlimited permission to dream
• The 1992 "why not" that became a 30-year career
• Being the only one in the room, and turning that pressure into purpose
• The mentors who taught her "you're not alone in this"
• Writing Black and Blue after the slow boil of 2020
• Leading Seattle through a mass shooting, a pandemic, George Floyd, CHOP, and the defund movement
• The council cuts, and protecting a department she'd just diversified to a record 39.9%
• Knowing when to hand over the reins — and why that's freedom, not failure
• A real leadership playbook: the 80% decision, thick skin, your North Star, and humility
• The lightning round: best advice, worst advice, and the one sentence she'd tell her younger self
• Being honored as the final Shoulders of Giants honoree and raising record support for Rise Up Academy

Key Takeaways

• People aren't always right. Almost everything Carmen accomplished, someone said wouldn't happen first — being Chief included.
• Dreaming is the starting line. Strict rules at home, but never a ceiling on what she could become.
• You're standing on shoulders, and someone's standing on yours. Being one of few made her want to do more, because the next generation would be judged by how she showed up.
• Mentorship matters — even when it's informal. "You're not alone in this."
• Leadership is rarely 100% certain. The best call might only be the 80% one. Make it anyway.
• Know your North Star and grow thick skin. People will write things about you that aren't true. Lead anyway.
• Real leadership is humility. Build a team stronger than you and set the environment for them to win.
• If you need the job, maybe you shouldn't take the job. Sometimes the freeing thing is being willing to let it go for everyone else's sake.
• Preparation is the best advice; "give up" is the worst. Opportunity without preparation isn't opportunity.
• Trust your instincts. They're there for a reason.

Memorable Quotes

"It's very freeing to say, this is the right thing to do, and I'm going to do the right thing."

"You just have to know your own currency and value it."

"The best might only be 80%, but that's what we're going to go with, because that's what we've got."

"You have to have thick skin and really know what your North Star is and what you're trying to achieve and why."

"Real leadership is assembling great teams... and setting the environment for them to have success."

"Trust your instincts. They're there for a reason."

"Giving up should be the last thing that comes."

"You're allowed to... achieve anything your mind can think of."

Timestamps

• 00:00 — The premise: what's the craziest thing someone told you you're not allowed to do?
• 00:34 — "People aren't always right." The things Carmen was told would never happen — including becoming Chief.
• 01:13 — Growing up in Tacoma: a loving, lower-middle-class home with strict rules and room to dream
• 02:20 — Starting life with permission to dream big
• 02:37 — 1992: deciding to become a cop on a "why not" pivot
• 03:17 — The reaction: "Not a lot of yes, you should do this."
• 04:25 — Almost 30 years in; being the only woman — and woman of color — in the room
• 06:08 — Mentorship: the informal mentors who said "you're not alone," including Rosalyn Melendez
• 07:35 — Writing Black and Blue: the slow boil that built up
• 08:03 — 2020: mass shooting, pandemic, George Floyd, CHOP, and the defund movement
• 09:32 — The heart-wrenching decision to leave the profession
• 09:52 — The final weeks: a loyal team and the plan to take back the precinct
• 11:32 — The council cuts and protecting hard-won diversity ($1.6M, 39.9% hiring)
• 13:26 — The access: innate or learned? "If you need the job, maybe you shouldn't take the job."
• 14:59 — "Know your own currency and value it."
• 15:10 — What nobody teaches you: the 80% decision and thick skin
• 16:02 — Lonely at the top, and the "sanity check"
• 16:33 — Leading people who don't want to be led; humility
• 17:05 — Real leadership: assembling great teams and servant leadership
• 18:07 — "If I'm doing my job right, I'm the least important person in the room."
• 18:46 — Lightning round: best advice (preparation is critical)
• 19:52 — Worst advice (anyone who tells you to give up)
• 20:26 — Music to reset
• 21:15 — One sentence to newly-appointed Chief Carmen: trust your instincts
• 22:03 — What she's allowed to want now: to keep making a difference
• 22:54 — Being honored as the final Shoulders of Giants honoree at the Columbia Tower Club
• 24:15 — Rise Up Academy, Emancipation Day, and giving back
• 24:56 — What Rise Up Academy does and why early education changes trajectories
• 27:06 — What she hopes people leave with: a call to action
• 29:07 — "You're allowed to... achieve anything your mind can think of."

About Carmen Best

Author, speaker, and former Deloitte + Amazon exec Jesse Rhodes Jr. joins Rachael for the inaugural episode of You're Allowed* - on leaving corporate, leading from the heart, and becoming the mentor you needed.

Welcome to the very first episode of You're Allowed* - the show about undoing every moment someone decided what you were allowed to want.

Rachael Barclay sits down with her inaugural (and obvious) first guest: Jesse Rhodes Jr. - author of Leadership Unlocked, executive coach, speaker, former leader at Deloitte, Ernst & Young, Walmart, Target, and Amazon, and the only person who can somehow cover Philly row homes, a $30 burger, and SAP implementation in the same breath.

They get into what "allowed" looked like growing up in Germantown, the mentor moment at Drexel that changed his entire trajectory, what it actually feels like to be the only one in the room, the divorce he tried to hide at Walmart (and what hiding it cost him), opening and selling his Seattle restaurant POCO, the real reason he finally wrote Leadership Unlocked, and what he'd tell the eight-year-old version of himself - or any kid on the block - if they were listening right now.

If you've ever sat in a corner office wondering whether there's something bigger pulling at you, this one is for you.

Plus: Jesse's 5 Ps of leadership, how to actually ask for a mentor, how to negotiate your worth without flinching, and why your imperfections - like the dimples on a golf ball - are what make you travel further.