Episode 311 – Why You Change When You Like Someone (And Start Losing Yourself)

Why do confident, capable adults suddenly shrink in romantic relationships?

Why do you stay steady everywhere else in life, but start overthinking, overgiving, and altering yourself the moment you really like someone?

In this episode, we break down the psychology behind losing yourself in relationships, fear of abandonment, anxious attachment patterns, childhood bullying trauma, sexual deprivation, and the need to be chosen.

This is not about blaming partners. It is about understanding why high functioning professionals, divorced parents, thirty year old women dating, and fifty year old men afraid of becoming undesirable can all experience the same emotional collapse when romance is involved.

We explore:

• Why you change when you like someone
• How early rejection or bullying affects adult attachment
• The connection between sexual rejection and emotional insecurity
• Why you overfunction and overgive in relationships
• The psychology of shrinking yourself to avoid abandonment
• Why being “chosen” feels like survival
• How to stop betraying yourself to keep access to someone

If you have ever felt confident in life but insecure in love, this episode will resonate deeply.

This is a structured, honest examination of attachment fear, emotional deprivation, relationship insecurity, and the hidden cost of trying to be enough for someone who is not fully meeting you.

You are probably right.

But you may be shrinking.

And that is what we are fixing.

When an ex returns after ignoring your pain, exploring other options, or walking away, what does it really mean?

In this long form monologue, I break down what it means when someone comes back. Is it growth, loneliness, ego, rejection elsewhere, or genuine change? How do you tell the difference between regret and convenience?

We talk about:

• Why people return after distancing themselves
• The difference between nostalgia and accountability
• How to evaluate change without playing games
• When attention is not the same as commitment
• How to avoid being used again when you are emotionally vulnerable

This episode is honest, cautious, and reflective. It is about slowing down, observing patterns, and protecting your dignity without becoming bitter.

They came back. Now what?

Anxious attachment. One sided relationships. Emotional overgiving. Modern dating detachment.

What if loving deeply was never the problem?

In this two hour monologue, I examine how to stay warm, expressive, and hopeful without becoming a doormat. We talk about anxious attachment styles, mixed signals, emotional inconsistency, and the difference between romance and self abandonment.

This episode explores:

• Why anxious attachment is often a response to emotional inconsistency
• How overgiving becomes self erasure
• The line between patience and self abandonment
• Why detachment is being mistaken for strength
• How to maintain self respect without becoming cold

This is not about becoming avoidant.
It is about loving with discernment.

If you have ever felt torn between protecting your heart and staying true to who you are, this episode will resonate.

Why did it feel so real to you, but somehow never seemed to matter the same way to them?

This episode is a deep, unfiltered examination of one-sided relationships, emotional ambiguity, and the psychological toll of loving someone who was comfortable receiving without ever fully committing. It is not a dating advice episode, and it is not a motivational talk. It is a long-form breakdown of a dynamic many people live through but struggle to explain, even to themselves.

We talk about what happens when generosity meets avoidance, when patience gets mistaken for permission, and when emotional labour is quietly extracted under the cover of hesitation, trauma, or “not being ready.” This episode explores dismissive-avoidant behaviour, intermittent reinforcement, moral injury, and the moment where confusion turns into clarity, often far too late.

If you’ve ever replayed conversations in your head, questioned your own judgment, wondered why you stayed longer than you should have, or felt embarrassed trying to explain why something that “wasn’t even a relationship” hurt so deeply, this episode is for you.

This is a two-hour, no-shortcuts conversation for people who value depth, honesty, and truth over quick fixes. It is meant to be listened to slowly. Some parts may be uncomfortable. That’s intentional.

You weren’t crazy.
You weren’t asking for too much.
You were asking the wrong person.

one sided relationship, dismissive avoidant attachment, emotional exploitation, relationship confusion, unreciprocated love, emotional labour, dating without commitment, relationship trauma, healing after a situationship, moral injury in relationships

Sometimes it is not the big requests that reveal the truth about a relationship. It is the simple ones.

This episode is a long form monologue about what happens when asking for basic care, presence, or awareness quietly changes how someone treats you. It explores how some connections function smoothly as long as you remain steady, available, and accommodating, and how quickly things shift when you slow down, struggle, or speak honestly about where you are.

Without naming anyone or telling a single story outright, this episode looks at the difference between being valued and being useful, between closeness and dependency, and between love and attachment to relief. It examines the grief that comes from realizing you gave in good faith, and the reckoning that follows when the arrangement no longer holds.

If you have ever felt a connection change the moment you needed something simple, this episode will resonate.

Hosted by MCM.

In this episode of You're Probably Right, the focus isn’t on who’s right or wrong, but on where effort actually lands in long-term relationships. Moving back and forth between what men and women are often asked to carry, this monologue explores emotional presence, communication, boundaries, reliability, and intimacy as lived behaviors rather than ideals. The conversation stays grounded, practical, and reflective—looking at how relationships tend to drift when effort is misdirected, and how clarity, consistency, and timing often matter more than intensity. This episode is for anyone interested in what sustains connection once things are real and life is in the mix.

There comes a point in life when the noise dies down, the momentum fades, and the questions you’ve been avoiding finally catch up to you.

This episode is not about fixing your life.
It’s about listening to what’s been quietly asking for your attention.

In Episode 305, I step away from performance, explanations, and surface-level insight, and sit with the questions that only appear after disappointment, after adaptation, and after you’ve spent years being composed, reasonable, and useful for everyone else.

This is a reflective episode for people who have lived carefully.
People who learned to keep things together.
People who stayed longer than they should have.
People who chose peace over truth, until the cost became impossible to ignore.

Through a grounded monologue and a series of twenty deeply personal questions, this episode explores:

• Why emotional fatigue creeps in quietly
• How usefulness replaces connection without you noticing
• The cost of staying silent to stay accepted
• The difference between being private and being invisible
• Why explaining yourself stops working at a certain stage of life
• And how clarity begins when you stop performing your composure

These questions aren’t designed to impress.
They’re designed to interrupt patterns.

If you’ve ever felt like your life looks stable on the outside but unfinished on the inside, this episode will feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way.

This is not a call to burn bridges.
It’s a pause.
A mirror.
A recalibration.

Because sometimes growth doesn’t come from answers.
It comes from finally asking better questions, and letting them change you.

You’re Probably Right Podcast

Episode 304 – The Quiet Cost of Always Being Reasonable

There is a version of being a good person nobody warns you about. Not kindness. Not decency. The quiet version, where being agreeable, steady, and capable slowly teaches people how far they can go with you.

In this episode of You’re Probably Right, we talk about what happens when admiration turns sideways, when being valued quietly turns into being optional, and why chasing past versions of people never works. This is not about blame, bitterness, or turning cold. It is about noticing patterns most people feel but struggle to name.

We look at competition that hides behind praise, relationships that shift without explanation, and the difference between being chosen and being convenient. This episode is for anyone who has stayed longer than they should have, explained more than they needed to, or felt life moving just slightly ahead of them.

No quick fixes. No social media advice. Just honest observation about how people behave, and what changes when you finally stop pretending not to notice.

If something in this episode resonates with you, you can reach the show at [email protected].
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There comes a point in life when things do not fall apart, they simply slow down.

The routines are familiar. The roles are established. You are functioning, reliable, composed. And yet, something underneath starts asking quieter, heavier questions. Not dramatic ones. Honest ones.

This episode is a reflective monologue and guided question based exploration about what happens when you stop performing clarity for others and start listening to what your own life has been signalling. It explores the cost of staying agreeable, emotionally regulated, and reasonable for too long, and how years of choosing peace over truth can quietly drain direction, energy, and identity.

Through an opening monologue, a set of twenty carefully chosen questions, and a closing reflection, this episode looks at emotional fatigue, people pleasing, silent compromises, misplaced loyalty, and the difference between being private and being invisible. These are not questions meant to impress or provoke. They are the kind that surface after disappointment, during transition, and in seasons where life looks stable on the outside but feels unresolved underneath.

This episode is for listeners who are not broken, not lost, and not late, but are realizing that clarity matters more than comfort, and that silence has a cost.

The questions were never about answers.
They were about permission.

You are Probably Right.

Episode 302
The Edible Child, Omnipotence, and Why Adult Relationships Break the Way They Do

There is a reason so many adults enter relationships carrying guilt they cannot explain, responsibility they never agreed to, and fear they cannot name.

This episode explores a quiet psychological pattern that begins in childhood and silently shapes adult relationships, attraction, marriage, parenting, and emotional burnout.

The concept is called the edible child, not in a literal sense, but in a psychological one. An edible child is raised to emotionally feed a parent’s sense of meaning, control, identity, or regulation. Instead of being guided toward independence, the child becomes useful. Needed. Essential. Consumed.

In this episode, we break down how early experiences of infantile omnipotence, where a child’s needs appear to create reality, become damaging when parents cannot tolerate stepping back. When that happens, the child is not allowed to separate. Independence feels like betrayal. Boundaries feel like rejection. And love becomes tied to usefulness.

As these children grow into adults, the pattern does not disappear. It shows up in over giving, people pleasing, staying too long, regulating partners, tolerating ambiguity, and confusing closeness with commitment. Many become reliable partners who quietly carry the emotional weight of relationships until attraction collapses under responsibility.

This episode connects childhood emotional consumption to adult mating choices, marriage dynamics, parenting struggles, classroom behaviour, and why so many relationships lose desire without obvious conflict or betrayal.

You will hear why attraction fades when responsibility replaces autonomy, how parent child dynamics quietly emerge between adults, why some people feel safest only when needed, and how to break this pattern without becoming cold or detached.

This is not an episode about blaming parents or diagnosing partners. It is about understanding the blueprint you were handed and deciding whether you want to keep living inside it.

If you have ever felt responsible for everyone else’s emotional state, guilty for choosing yourself, or exhausted by relationships that rely on your self sacrifice, this episode will put language to what your body already knows.

edible child psychology, infantile omnipotence, relationship burnout, attachment patterns, people pleasing trauma, emotional over giving, adult attachment, relationship psychology podcast, childhood conditioning, emotional labour in relationships