CONFIDENCE ROCKS (IF YOU AREN’T CONFIDENT, FAKE
IT. YOU WILL BECOME IT.)
When I was younger, I spent all of my time studying—to the degree that I’d tell friends I couldn’t hang out with them and chose studying over other social activities.
Looking back on my school years, I now realise that I consistently confused competence with confidence. I thought that if I spent all my time studying, my knowledge would automatically create a new, confident me.
Unfortunately, I was probably the hardest-working student in the school, yet still didn’t feel confident.
How unfair, right?
Have you ever envisioned going back in time and having a discussion with your younger self? In addition to telling my seventeen-year-old self, “You really, really should rethink that terrible haircut,” do you know what other advice I’d give?
I’d say, “Sonia, just fake it. Fake confidence.”
It took me a long, long time to discover this, but faking confidence works, and believe it or not, numerous studies have proven this very fact.
For example, standing taller makes you appear more self-assured. Dressing professionally for a promotion helps you get the job. Simply smiling makes you happier.
Harvard business professor Amy Cuddy studies that exact phenomena. She investigates how people judge and influence others and themselves, and also why certain people have the confidence to take more risks, thereby landing them more business deals and job offers.
Cuddy was a university student when she suffered severe head trauma as a result of a bad traffic accident. Her IQ temporarily fell two standard deviations and she had to relearn skills she’d lost.
One of her professors knew she struggled after returning to school (a year later than her cohort of classmates) and urged her to fake feeling confident until she actually felt like she was. And it worked. Now she’s a bestselling author, Harvard University professor, and is considered a leading authority on business management and social psychology.
Now, I want you to take a second to envision one person you know who exudes confidence. It could be a co-worker, a political figure, even a teacher in your child’s school.
Guess what? The charismatic person you may be envisioning right now most definitely wasn’t born knowing how to charm a crowd. I’d venture to say that he or she had to hone and cultivate that component of his or her character, just like Amy Cuddy had to do.
Just like I did. Just like you are going to do.
Remember, confidence is a choice. Unfortunately, it’s something rarely taught in school—but think of the impact a simple class called “Fake it Till You’re a Success” could have benefited you in your career! I’d venture to say it would have paid dividends for your future.
(By the way, have you ever noticed that some of those really import- ant life lessons are never taught in school? I sure would have been more than okay with less calculus and more leadership training!)
I have also launched a FREE Read-along course for First Comes Courage - sign up here at https://sonia-mcdonald.mykajabi.com/first-comes-courage-course
Thank you for listening and stay kind and courageous. Sonia x
