What do gerbils, Richard Gere and the Dalai Lama have in common? It might have something to do with cuckolding but at the very least, we can definitively say that they’re fun-loving creatures. Freddy goes on to explain his own religious beliefs and how his current views may have been shaped by a majestic fjord. In keeping with this theme of beauty, Carson details his latest trip to California where, unfortunately, policy makers are doing everything in their power to suck the fun out of an all-time classic treat. Don’t get too down, Carson has an important retraction to make and it has a little something to do with one of the most popular segments on ZFG. And speaking of retractions, Freddy reveals what we all suspected from the debacle with his learner’s permit… Krista, in fact, has no clue how to sign.

For anyone who missed the 93rd Academy Awards earlier this month, Krista leads off with a masterpiece that deserved to be on the short list to win Best Documentary Short Film. In a pleasant twist from revealing the shortcomings of employees at Muddy Waters, we learn that Krista is proficient with sign language. Many find such a skill worthy of celebration, but we come to find out it was Krista’s interpretation of Freddy’s learner’s permit that led him to believe he had earned his driver’s license. With the not-so-sudden downfall of Credit Saudi, Carson laments the final ZFG segment of Credit Suisse First Loss. While the crew revels in the downfall of Silicon Valley Bank (“SVB”), Freddy confesses to making a shameless plea to SVB by detailing another one of his business ideas. Not to be outdone, Carson goes on to share his learnings from the weekend – a glorious and infamous creature popularly known as the Cheetard. And as a parting gift from the esquire himself, Carson provides a few excerpts from an old book he co-authored on ‘Doing Business in China’… For Dummies.

In light of the recent mini-crisis across the US banking sector, Carson Block sits down with Soren Aandahl of Blue Orca Capital for a special episode of Zero Fucks Given. Shortly after the news dropped, Carson went into scramble mode, trying to find an opposing view on the prudence of the Silicon Valley Bank bailout. Soren, happy to enter the debate, believes policy makers made the right decision in a very difficult situaiton. Moral hazard concerns aside, he argues that the measures deployed were necesary to prevent a run on all regional banks. Carson pushes back, given the incestuous nature of SVB, and why regulators could have both sent a message on risk taking, while also calming the nerves of panicky depositors. The pair go on to debate the long-term implications but both are in agreement that the messaging may have done more damage than the cure.

Beyond any stretch of rational thinking, one of Freddy’s business ideas from 2022 still seems to be alive and kicking. With his fresh new swag, Carson lends his support to a reimagined Poober and tries to attract SoftBank’s interest with one of the largest TAMs in the market today. Brendan Schlong probably has some regrets about his dust up with Muddy Waters on his Pantheon Resources bet, but he’s not to be outdone by the Sheep of Wall Street, the apparent heir to Neil Woodford’s ‘contra’ throne. Carson is back on his soap box about the latest episode of ‘Fed Kardashians,’ but finds solace that someone finally took a stand with a porn zoom bomb of Fed Governor Christopher Waller’s virtual event. For anyone looking for a job at MWC, please list your disabilities as it’ll surely help the firm with its woke ESG initiatives.

Freddy is back, and we quickly find out that he spent his entire time away in the fetal position, with nightmares of failing another driver’s test. Carson goes on to console him, while lamenting the reality that his dreams of being the Andrew Carnegie of penis museums has been dealt a major setback. As Krista and Carson reveal, there are really only two litmus tests for working at Muddy Waters – you can either pronounce Reykjavik or you can ride a bike – pick your poison. Just how scary is Microsoft’s new AI chatbot? Like any relationship, give it enough time and Sydney will be giving you some serious Fatal Attraction vibes. And what is with the Federal Reserve fulfilling Chamath’s claim to “really fuck shit up?” Carson believes that it’s just one giant competition to see which Fed member will be the landmark piece at his reimagined museum.

Ross Gerber continues his victory over short sellers tour by dropping in on the Muddy Waters team and reminiscing over how Carson once felt like Ethan Hawke at the kitchen table in Training Day across from him and Cathie Wood. Ross, who lives in LA, makes a convincing case that they would’ve found southern California much less annoying to live in than the Bay Area. The team then unanimously pleads for Ross to send unwanted former Victoria’s Secret models to Austin. The Muddy Waters team then explodes in disagreement over the aesthetics of the Cyber Truck with Freddy clearly in the wrong. Finally, Ross gives some parenting advice to Carson as to which stock he should buy for his son to win the child’s lifelong respect.

With Freddy on a vacation tour of Europe’s most sun-kissed penitentiaries, and the gang in Texas trapped at home by a classic Austin ice-storm, it’s remote week at Zer0es. Freddy brings us the latest in Scottish prison politics; the Zer0es crew tactfully declines to learn more. Then it’s time for business. Calling in from the East Coast, Roddy Boyd breaks down last week’s hootenanny at Occupy the SEC. The crew takes a zaftig Lady Justice as a symbol for the everyday American’s love of conspiracies, and we hear about Robinhood’s romance with the gullible. Carson reflects on the lure of feel-good beliefs, and Krista laments the disappearance of an old chain of New York strip clubs. Finally, Roddy and Carson wonder whether financial education might be the way to walk grandma away from the slot machine.

Elon Musk is at it again and he's fired up his incels to occupy the SEC. Worried about missing it? Have no fear, the Zer0es crew will have their man, Roddy Boyd, on the ground to give you an inside look at Drooler's Paradise. Not to be outdone, Freddy digs up an old business idea for college textbooks, and this one might actually stick. What has camels so pissed off that they've taken a page out of the Occupy movement? Much like Musk's incels, they seem to be fed up with the endless beatings. On an unfortunate note, Krista reveals she's been contemplating a departure from her seat atop Zer0es. The only question is, will Kenny G match Freddy's proposal to make her the Queen? And in a parting gift, Carson provides his official legal analysis of California's proposed wealth tax.

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 In our first episode of 2023, Krista and Freddy lead off by expressing their admiration for Carson's Greek God-like beach bod. After cleaning up their drool, the crew tries their hand with a new format. In what some might describe as an explicit news station, the trio revisit a handful of stale stories that fail to live up to Carson's standard for 'breaking news.' Freddy lays out his belief that Krista is far more qualified for the Republican Party than George Santos, but that all hinges on whether or not she continues to shave her armpits. Why are Chinese equities rallying to begin the year? It's unclear what's more embarrassing, that Tiger Global dumped their holdings at the lows or the idea of bringing a sex doll home to meet mom. And just to make sure that Freddy doesn't miss out on yet another terrible idea, he's put his name down for the brand-new Taliban sports car.

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As we stare down the final days of 2022, Carson is channeling his inner David Goggins and extolls the benefits of waking up at 4am. With all the extra time to think, Carson ties together his biggest schadenfreude moments of the past, present, and what that might mean for 2023. Could he be on to a groundbreaking story? For Freddy, he's thoroughly enjoyed the rolling blow-ups in SPACs, crypto and the unbearable Venture Capital industry. If there's one thing for certain, Carson and Freddy both agree that the compliance box-checking industry holds perhaps the greatest growth potential over the years to come. And in complete 2022 fashion, where we've been inundated with Freddy's endless list of terrible business ventures, Carson reveals their latest idea for an app called Spotter.

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