If you want things to be the way you want - you have to decide and act. You really can't wait for others to do it for you. Yeah, I know you know this. You've heard it at least a thousand time. (I'm not trying to tell you anything new here.)What it comes down to though, is when you decide to take action. When you decide to say "Hey, I need to do something about this." Let me get back to talking about Christmas blues.I've gotten mixed feelings about Christmas. Is it a Czech Christmas America? The celebration is full of stress. I miss itI'm sick of itI don't even know it happened (this year). The Christmas I miss, is the joy, sharing, and care that you get with loved ones. There is never enough of that at any time of year.I'm sick of the surfeit. Too much, food, gifts, even meeting people (I'm an introvert so once I've met lots of people, I kind of need a break). But the truth is Christmas barely happened.The kids are olderCouldn't enjoy the Christmas MassAnd the covid pall on the worldYeah, it's like I blinked and it wasn't really here.But these are excuses. To enjoy the time - whenever it is (not just Christmas) - that's a choice. Sometimes it has to get bad enough (or strange enough, as it has this year) before you decide to change something. Yes, this Christmas has been one of the strangest I've ever experienced. And it's been just what I've needed to tell myself "you know what Steven? Next year Christmas is going to be full of love, celebration and life". But as I've said. It's a choice. And it's what I'm choosing now, so it can happen next year. What kind of Christmas should I celebrate? The one that I choose - Czech, American. It doesn't matter. It'll be a McIntosh Christmas.  So, wherever you are. Whatever you're experiencing. Decide the way you want it. I'll tell you how it works for me next year.

How American and Czech Christmas is the same. When I first came to the Czech Republic I experienced Christmas in a different way from the American celebration.Different foodDifferent filmsDifferent dayDifferent everything Except one main thing.The love, care and compassion that people have towards friends and family.In both countries Christmas is a joyful time.I think there are two things that make Christmas what many call  "the happiest time of year"You are moving in a directionYou are doing something for other people (like giving gifts). When you are moving in a direction, your body, your mind - they like it. You feel like you have purpose, meaning and fulfillment.In a way that's what Christmas gives. After all the preparations and organization Christmas is here and you can celebrate. There's this sense of fulfillment.As for doing something for others. I think most will agree kids seem to have the most joy and life out of Christmas. For parents especially they do it for the children. And giving children even more joy is definitely something to look forward to. What I hope you can do, through this Christmas (especially because of the circumstances we face this year) is really take the time to enjoy. Don't just prepare. Don't just do it for others (although that brings even more joy). Take a moment and see how people are coming together. See how we love, care and reach out. That's where the joy really is. And the preparations brings it about.Taking joy in this will bring so much more joy from the Christmas celebration itself.

Dnešní zpráva je dost hluboká (ale pozitivní). Pokud na to nemáte náladu, prostě přeskočte čtení.Dnešní noc je nejdelší nocí roku. Zimní slunovrat. Zima nás drží v dlani.Rostliny nerostou. Příroda je temná a tichá.Tak to má být. Hluboký, temný a tichý.Protože právě z tohoto stavu objevujeme, kdo jsme.Máme možnost  se dostát do hlubiny.  Hrabéme si noru v naší vlastní duši, abychom mohli  objevit pravdy o sobě.Během aktivních ročních období to moc nevidím. Jsem příliš zaneprázdněn. Příliš zapojený do jiných věcí.Zastavení a pohled na život v hlubokém temném tichu mi pomáhá vidět.Výška, světlo a zvuk jsou dobré. Ale stejně taký je hluboké temné ticho.Je čas, abych zasadil semena, které uvidím později.Nepovažuji je za „novoroční předsevzetí“, spíš za úmysl. Malý začátek něčeho, co může růst.Jeden rok jsem začal s jógou - jemný začátek několik minut denně. Ne, necvičím každý den. Ale dost částo, že je to zvyk. Pomohlo mi zvzšit energii a soustředit se.Tentokrát chci psát. Jen trochu. Jen dost na to, abych vědel, že dokážu to dělat - a pravidelně. Možná to bude každý den. Možná nebude. Je to jen záměr - ne předsevzetí. Pokud se uchytí, doufám, že z toho něco vyroste -Co?Nevím.Obvykle nevím. Prostě to vyzkouším.Takže místo toho, abych začínal v Novém roce, začínám dnes. Zdá se mi to vhodnější. A jak jsme už psál,  je to jen záměr - směr, kterým se chci vydat. To znamená, že to udělám pro sebe, aby to bylo snadné. Pokud přeskočím den, dobře. Zvládnu to další den.Co vy?Máte úmysly objevit sebe sama?Toto je nejhlubší a nejtemnější noc. Jak to  vy vidíte, že se vám vnoří do duše?

A rather deep (but positive) message for today. If you're not  in the mood for that, then just skip reading. Tonight is the longest night of the year. Winter solsticeWinter holds us in its palm.Plants don't grow. Nature is dark and silent.That's the way it's supposed to be. Deep, dark and silent.Because it's from this state that we discover who we are.We get to burrow deep. Nestle in our own souls discovering truths about ourselves.During active times of year I don't get to see it so much. I'm too busy. Too involved in other things.Stopping, and looking at life, in the deep dark silence helps me see.Height, light and sound are good. But so is deep dark silence.It's the time for me to plant seeds I'll see later. I don't think of them as "New Year's resolutions" More like intentions. The small start of something that can grow.One year I started yoga - a gentle start a few minutes a day. No, I don't practice everyday. But often enough. It's helped me maintain higher energy and focus. This time I'm starting writing. Not a lot. Just enough to know I can do it - and do it regularly. Maybe it will be everyday. Maybe it won't. It's an intention. If it takes hold, I hope it'll grow into something -What?I don't know.I don't usually know. I just try it out. So, rather than starting on New Year's I start today. It seems more fitting to me. And it's just an intention - a direction I want to go. This means I keep it easy on myself. If I miss it, okay. I can do it the next day. What about you?Do you have intentions for discovering yourself?This is the  deepest, darkest night. How do you see nestling into your soul?

I never want to be young again. Some people want to be young - as if it's something to desire. For me, I love being bit older (and wiser - hopefully).As a young boy, I wasn't very graceful or coordinated. Bumped into things and tripped over my feet. The best word to describe me was:Awkward. (not the same as embarrassing)Not only that, I wasn't that good at communicating. Sure, I loved language and loved words, but talking to me was like talking to a book. Maybe you've read Shakespeare or Tolkien (before he was popular), but you don't talk like them (and I did).I didn't enjoy being a teen, and would never want to go back to that time. That's my reason (or excuse) why you haven't been getting emails from me. When I write in Czech I kind of feel like I did when I was a teen.Awkward.A little out of place.And it's true. I don't know how to say it well (not in Czech anyway). See, here's the thing. I'd like sending you emails in English and in Czech. But…because I feel awkward sending messages in Czech, I don't send any. So,  I'm asking you. If you want me to send you messages also in Czech (like this one), tell me.Reply:CzechAnd I'll send you the same message in Czech tomorrowThanks for understanding.

A new type of episode. Just trying something new. I'm going to be talking about cooking for the next couple of episodes.

It's been a hectic month. Only with friends' support and finding balance again can I can come back to the Misadventures of an American in Moravia.

Maybe you think "Czenglish" is ruining your ability to speak English clearly. It might be. But you might just be creating something more beautiful.

Zahradnictví mě naučilo tolik o sobě a životě. Jen v České republice jsem se mohl to naučit.