So, I've got a confession to make. Sometimes, Simon and Danny pre-record the film guide. I know, I know, you're shocked. What's even more shocking is that the pre-record for today's show happened in July 2003. Simon, who used to be a bit boring and repressed, not the flamboyant and expressive character you see today, managed to successfully predict the UK box office top 10, as well as all the new releases in the cinema this week. How did he do it, you say? Well, theories vary. One is that Simon is a Dr Who-esque timetraveller (which is why he wears all that beige, because beige blends in boringly into whichever time period you're in); another is that he's some kind of wizard or warlock. My personal view is that he is a being outside of time and space, one who sees all of history and all of the future at once, which is why he occasionally seems to space out and lose touch with this reality. That's my theory at least. Ok, that was a lie, but Simon was in the studio to talk about the UK box office, new releases in the cinema, and his pick of films on TV for the coming week. Friday Machete 11.35pm – 1.40am Film4 Saturday The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 6.45pm – 10.20pm ITV2 Sunday The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 6.25pm – 10.00pm ITV2 Monday Ted 11.05pm – 1.10am Film4 Tuesday Sightseers 11.55pm – 1.40am Film4 Wednesday Tomorrow Never Dies 9.00m – 11.25pm ITV4 Thursday Unlikely Angel 1.00pm – 3.00pm True Entertainment