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  • Prelude to The Last Dragon

    This week on the podcast Sam brings in a movie that made him quite angry as a child but then grew to love it's non-kung-fu ways. It's 1985's The Last Dragon in which a "kung fu" guy tries to achieve something called "The Glow".

    Streaming Do's and Don'ts
    • Monster Dog - Starz
    • Motorcycle Gang - Netflix
    • Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - HBO Now
      • Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

      The Glow - You glow neon when you've mastered something

      36 min
    • Deadliest Prey - Danton & Lil Danton Do it Again
      Danton returns to do his thing and his thing is killing so many people in ridiculous ways. This time he gets kidnapped by Colonel Hogan for the sake of a "never hunt a man" competition, faces off against Thorton, receives an assist from an old military buddy, has his wife kidnapped by a sexretary and does a fist pump in the air. Sound familiar?
      If you had told us that Deadliest Prey is just a remake of Deadly Prey without any of a new story we would have been deeply disappointed. It shouldn't work. But somehow Deadliest Prey does work. There's no better way they could have done it. It's so much fun and has so much fan service that works great that we absolutely loved it.
      Danton 2 is a hell of a good time, but you must see Deadly Prey first. If it has one strike against it, it can't be done as a standalone piece. We highly recommend both of them and ownership of these films is a must. Thank you David (RIP), Ted and Michael Prior for doing everything you guys did.
      1 hr 6 min
    • Prelude to Deadliest Prey

      Mike Danton is back on the show and we can't be excited enough. Deadliest Prey is the 28 years later sequel to Hall of Fame movie, Deadly Prey and we can't wait to see how David and Ted Prior follow up one of the greatest bad movies of all time.

      Be sure to revisit our Deadly Prey episode and for god sakes, watch the movie.

      Streaming Do's and Don'ts
      • Shotgun - YouTube
      • Death Machines - YouTube
      • Rage of Honor - YouTube
        • Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
        • Clark Kent - Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
        • Selena - Supergirl
        • Billy the Beaut - Punisher: War Zone
          • 29 min
        • 967-EVIL 2 - Grossface vs Sticky Pants
          Jim Wynorski makes his Stinker Madness debut with 1991's tale of a spooky phone hotline that gives you the confidence to mow on Bridgette Neilsen's box and gain super-powers so that you can stock a lady with a tall butt.
          We're pretty confused on what this movie is about. Our best theory is that the dean of a community college has an obsession with his ex-office assistant. He's nuts and thinks that a 1-900 horoscope number will give him the powers to stalk her properly. So he somehow meets up with the proprietor of a spooky stuff supply store who if you give her cunnilingus you will be given the powers of Doctor Strange. Meanwhile, a guy who only has leather motorcycle gear to wear and who does not shower ever, thinks that the 1-900 number is somehow involved but they are just a red herring and are just a "phone company" with a really lame business model and a fairly bored CEO.
          The acting is atrocious, the effects are great, the plot is dumb, and the pacing is fantastic. Jim, you're the best at this and we can't wait to see more of your films in our episodes. Thank you, sir!
          1 hr 8 min
        • Prelude to 976-EVIL 2

          Jim Wynorski makes his very first and long overdue appearance on the show with 1991's 976-Evil 2, a film so important that they wouldn't even bring Robert Englund to direct it. Will Jim continue his fine tradition and increase his presence in the Stinker Hall of Fame? Spoiler alert - totally.

          We'd like to say thank you to our fans that recently wrote in by sharing some thoughts from them on the show. If you'd like to join us in the bad movie discussion, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter or write to us to [email protected].

          Streaming Do's and Don'ts
          • Not Another Teen Movie - Crackle (No Longer Available)
          • Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator - Amazon Prime
          • Night Vision - Amazon Prime
          • Blind Fury - Starz
            • Wild Card - Who would win in a knife fight?

            E.T. vs Munchie?

            29 min
          • The Dead Pool - When crotchety writes a movie
            Dirty Harry finally becomes the worst cop in the history of cops when he decides asking questions or arresting people is boring; it's just better to shoot everyone in the face. Sprinkle in some karate, self-deprecating jokes, an unnecessary love interest, old-man grumble dialogue, a car/rc car/car chase, dubious action, and a plot that leaves the audience thinking it was invented by monkeys and you've got the recipe for a franchise killer. Goodbye, Dirty Harry.
            It's a horrendously awful film. But it does have it's fun parts. The scenes where Harry and his love interest get googly eyes at each other are hilarious and are quite unbelievable. The RC car chase is possibly as dumb as anything ever in a blockbuster franchise, rivaling the likes of Roland Emmerich's 2012, or the invisible Aston Martin in Die Another Day. It's so dumb, but quite hilarious. It's only second in stupid to the epic Jim Carrey, Welcome to the Jungle lip-sync scene. It's just Jim Carrey doing his usual Jim Carrey thing....in the middle of Dirty Harry movie. I could have gone for so much more of Jim, but spoiler alert - he's barely in this film. But while he's there!
            As a whole, The Dead Pool, is a template for how to kill your franchise. I would have suspected that people would have started leaving the theater within 15 minutes. Unfortunately, the stupid story and sitting through it, waiting for the fun parts to arrive is just too much to give this a recommendation. The fun parts are great but just too few and far between. Who wants to see a grouchy old guy go on dates with a woman 30 years younger than him, while Liam Neeson says he's not the guy for an hour and a half. Blech.
            1 hr 11 min
          • Prelude to The Dead Pool

            This week we put on our best "squinty stink-eye whisper-yelling shoot everyone in the face" faces and get ready for Clint Eastwood to make his first appearance on the show in the franchise-killing Dead Pool. Can Harry Calahan keep his gun in his pants for more than six lines of dialogue?

            You're Wrong, Idiot!

            Regarding Superman IV: The Quest for Peace 

            • Whether the Fortress of Solitude scene happens in Clark's mind - Justin, You're Wrong, Idiot!
            • Whether the pile of cash on Lex's desk is more than $1,000,000 - Justin, You're Wrong, Idiot!
            • Whether the film made money - Sam, You're Wrong, Idiot!
              • The Great Superpower Debate

              Benjamin Button Bones - Bones get stronger with age - 4/10

              34 min
            • Punisher: War Zone - The opposite of punishment
              Our final film in our superhero threepeat is 2008's MCU bonkersfest Punisher: War Zone and its a masterpiece. Its the most violent, over the top, ridiculous, preposterous, bad-assery, poorly acted gem of an incredible time. It would have been impossible for this film to be successful but it is also impossible to NOT be a cult-classic. It's great.
              Ray Stevenson kills it as the Punisher. There should be no other person to ever play Frank Castle (Sorry Joe Bernthal, Punisher doesn't have roof top conversations with men in tights; he just kills people). Ray's big, formidable, and hardly has any lines. He's brilliant.
              Then there's the action sequences....bonkers. Within the first 10 minutes of the film, you've either left the theater or gobbling up popcorn while trying not to blink. Lexi Alexander basically said, "Fuck it" and just went out and gave everyone what they wanted (except the investors).
              While a totally bad and terrible film, there's a level of quality in how dumb it is. It seems that Lexi Alexander had nothing but bad surrounding her. She was working with a script that the guy who wrote Armageddon walked away from, she's got Doug and Dominic stinking it up because no one else would do it, and she's got Loinsgate to deal with and we know how good they are at ruining their own projects. She took all this bad and just had fun with it and we applaud her directing ability to make this turd a true gem. We can't stress how much this film kicks ass. There's few words to describe it and we insist that you don't miss Punisher: War Zone.
              1 hr 17 min
            • Prelude to Punisher: War Zone

              In the last of our Superhero Threepeat, we are super jacked to bring in one of the most ridiculous (and awesome) films ever made. Its just one of only two "Marvel Knights" movies and I can't imagine why there weren't more. Ray Stevenson becomes Frank Castle in a bonkers and violent manner in Punisher: War Zone. Do not fail to watch this epic film.

              Streaming Do's and Don'ts
              • Frozen - Starz
              • Sahara - Netflix
              • Predator - Starz
                • Wild Card - Pop Quiz, Hotshot

                Real or not real comic book characters?

                • The Red Bee
                • Madame Fatal
                • Matter Eater Lad
                • US 1
                  • 37 min
                • Supergirl - Now with Derp powers

                  Part 2 of our 3 Superhero Movie Festival just so happens to be our 200th podcast episode! Congratulations to us! Sadly the movie, Supergirl, does not contain any of the fanfare that revolves around our momentous milestone. It's just one of the most boring, uneventful films ever made.

                  There are so many problems with Supergirl. The first and foremost is that absolutely nothing happens of interest. It's truly unwatchable in the level of bore. Make something happen guys...anything.

                  Secondly, it breaks its own rules constantly. First is the entire franchise. Superman's home of Krypton got exploded and he was the only survivor right? Well Supergirl is his cousin, which is fine. But the total lack of exposition about how she exists is troubling. She and a group of others who may or may not be Kryptonian live in the bottom of a lake in Minnesota (in micro-size, none the less). So did they get there before Krypton exploded? They've been on Earth this whole time? Shouldn't they have the powers of the yellow sun as well? Who are these people?

                  Thirdly, it's horrendously offensive towards women. The "plot" is two women with unlimited power, the two most powerful beings on the planet, and all they do with their power is try to get a man. Seriously. It's a cat fight over a hunky gardener. Its saying women only need a man, even if they are given all the gifts in the world...still only care about getting a man. "Hey girls, how bout putting the Macy's card down for a minute and go do the dishes?" Ugh...assholes.

                  There is nothing complimentary to this film. It is a true turd and should be left in the bin that says "Do NOT use".

                  We want to say thank you to all our fans that have stayed with us through these 200 episodes. We started out with just a USB condenser mic, so much uhms, people talking over each other, yelling, the crappiest logo and no editing. Today we've got over $1000 in recording equipment, multitrack recording, 30,000+ downloads, so many awesome people we've met and had guest on our show and more knowledge of the genre than maybe any other podcast. Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening and being a part of what we do.

                  1 hr 27 min