Johnny Utah finally graces our presence in Kathryn Bigelow's second appearance on the show. Can it POSSIBLY be a good movie? Can it be a bad movie that everyone thinks is good? Or is it just the same as her Near Dark and just meh? Least Busey is in it.

Telekinesis limited to 8 ft range and 40 lbs. - 6.5 stars

For years people have been requesting a remake of a really stupid and poorly thought out 90's movie with horrendous acting and too many "dude bros" and then make it much much stupider. Wait...no one asked for that? Then wait the hell is the point of Point Break (2015)?

The story of 2015's Point Break is truly one of the more poorly thought plots in recent memory. Johnny Utah must go undercover into some extreme guys again and to do it he must also do extreme stuff to build up their trust. There the plot similarity ends. The real dumb stuff is the motivation of Bodhi and his crew. They are going to save the Earth (environmentally, ie. "Mans progress is totally harshing my groove, bro" crap)...by doing 8 extreme sport/stunts. Yup. Save the Earth by jumping off stuff. Now one can argue that they are environmental terrorists who are going to stop corporations from damaging the Earth by extreme criminality but at no point would any of their stunts do that, one, in fact, damages the Earth more than the activity they are preventing and then halfway through the movie, they just give up on that completely and just do extreme sports so, as Bodhi puts it, "become one with the Earth". If only "becoming one with the Earth" meant splattering into the side of it at terminal velocity.

The story is the only fun bad thing in it. Its absolutely not worth viewing by anyone as it rides in that black hole of "not good" and "not very bad" that films fall into. Maybe its worth viewing if you have the flu and are hopped up on NyQuil...

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In what very well may be the worst mad scientist plan of all time, Professor Stoner (didn't make that up) turns innocent David from Man to Snakeman to.....well mongoose lunch. It's ssssssso ssssssstupid! It should be mentioned that no other film on this podcast is as worthy of being a MST3K episode.

The film is not a fantastically fun time. There's periods of nothing happening and just shots of snakes and/or montages of David suffering from his condition. In truth there is only about 15 minutes worth of plot in this movie, but the end is so incredibly ssssssstupid that it can't be missed.

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This week Justin rolls the dice on maybe the worst movie title of all time. Seriously, try to tell your friends your watching Sssssss and listen how it comes out of your mouth. Onomatopoeia should never be used in film titles. But we think its about snake men...

Fish Man - 6.5 stars

In the year 1994, disco has become such a force in culture that record producers can rule the government forcing the citizens of Earth to face prison time and social rejection if they are not down with "BIM"...we still aren't sure what BIM is but apparently you must be down with it. However, we are not.

This movie stinks! Wow is this not how you make a movie and its such a mess that it becomes a spectacle. Normally, movies that predict the future are pretty off in their predictions of how we live but this one is WAAAAYYYY off. I don't remember glam in 1994's music. Maybe I misses something but I don't remember flannel having alot of glitter on it. But this film just can't believe that disco and "The Bay City Rollers" weren't going to rule music.

However, the film is such a total disaster that there is a level of fun to it. The other primary bonus is that the film is short. You're not stuck in misery for way too long. There is only a few moments of pain that you must suffer from such as songs that run on too long and are crap to get to all of the good stuff. Without spoilers the ending is well worth the crappy parts to get to. Its not a great bad movie but its good enough for a viewing.

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Jackie brings us her third musical mess with 1980's The Apple from Cannon Films, directed by none other than Menaham Golan. Can it beat out other similarily crappy 1980 films Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu?

Shitting Telepathy

Yor does not come from the future. He comes from over there. Sorry for the spoiler. He is still awesome. The ladies love him, the men fear him and Yor believes himself to be the most rad dude of all time and he might be right.

Yor is one of those wacky Italian movies that believes to be a good idea with a good story but is just a mess of silly business. Yor bounces smugly from scene to scene veritably stating directly to the audience, "Hey, did you know I'm awesome? Cause I am." His motivations aren't clear, his actions are bonkers, and his idiom is dubious. He's great. He even has his own awesome theme song (Yor's World) that rivals "Do You Want to Be a Hero" from Biggles: Adventure in Time and "Stargrove" from Never Too Young To Die.

Yor: The Hunter from the Future is one heck of a good time and is required viewing for any fan of the swords and sandals genre, as long as you like stupid crap. 

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For years, Sam has been praising Yor: The Hunter from the Future and now its finally time to share it's hunky goodness with the rest of the world. Let the scantily clad ladies fill our eyeballs.

The Super Penis

We all absolutely loved Dreamcatcher. Its got all the qualities fans of bad movies look for. It keeps moving and never loses your interest in what is on screen even when you can't make heads or tails of what you are seeing. The story and key events are so confusing and dubious that you can talk with other viewers about theories and try to answer questions for hours afterwards. There's entire forums dedicated to trying to hypothesize what the hell happens in this train wreck. It's highly recommended you spend the time to view this masterpiece of horrendous film-making.

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In our first 2 parter ever, we break down 2003's Dreamcatcher. This movie is insanity. There is just about everything you want in a bad movie in this one. It is a scosh too long but this one's got it all with the combination of the stupid plot, the bad acting, the cheesy movie monster (it comes out butts), the dubiousness of Morgan Freeman and Tom Sizemore's characters, and Dudditts. Wow, Duddits. We love you, Duddits.

The primary mistake this movie makes is poop. Really really. The film is meant to be frightening. The elements in concept are horrific. Being killed by something that is too big to be inside you coming out of your butt is possibly one of the worst ways to go. The Spanish Inquisition had nicer ways of killing people. Josef Mengele would have loved to have a bunch of shit weasels at his disposal. However, this is not scary in Dreamcatcher, it's hilarious. By the time the "horror" starts in this film, you've been giggling about farts and poop for ten minutes. So it's pretty tough to be scared.

Questions abound in this thing. It is more dubious than Wicker Man. How do the aliens work? What's their reproduction cycle? Are the shit weasels actually the same species? Why is it called Dreamcatcher? Is Duddits mentally handicapped or just has a speech impediment? Who is Duddits? Did his mom screw an alien? Seriously, what's with Morgan Freeman's eyebrows...the list goes on and on. We were able to figure The Wicker Man out but this one defeated us. We just can't come up with theories to answer these....